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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Maybe I'm Just Crabby But...
Kabob 05:26 AM 04-29-2014
I'm getting really tired of my one dcm constantly bringing up how much of an inconvenience it is to her that I'll be closing "without warning" for 2 weeks (unpaid) when I have my baby.

She literally had the balls this morning to say that I originally said I would stay open using my sub the entire time (my sub that she didn't like me hiring mind you) and so she is upset I lied to her. I didn't. I originally said 1 week closed back in December but changed it to 2 weeks when dh threw a fit. So I told her accordingly that same month and then reiterated it verbally since then every month and also sent out a letter last week reiterating my pregnancy plan...2 weeks closed unpaid with my sub ready to take over when I go into labor.

She also said this morning that I needed to give her an exact day I plan to pop out this baby. Seriously? Her child was a month early with complications and I'm sure she wasn't asked to work through it...

I'm tired of it. She just won't leave it alone. I wanted to tell her if it's that bad then she should leave....she already is a pain in my rear due to her using over 10 hours a day (paid now but she will probably complain about that soon since it won't be noticeable to her until she uses a full week the next week) and has been just testing my patience on everything lately. I swear if she comes back whining tonight I'm just gonna write her a lovely goodbye note...save myself on some money on paying my assistant since that leaves me with families that only use 9 hours a day...

Ok...vent over...back to my regularly scheduled morning...
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cara041083 05:48 AM 04-29-2014
I would tell her to leave. I wouldn't hire your sup. You wouldn't be able to really rest and enjoy your new lil one with a house full of kids. If your like me, I have a hard time "not doing" anything or taking over. I would give mom her 2 week and play stupid and tell her "well I figured it would help you since you needed an exact date and this way you can fine a new provider that won't need time off" But thats just me lol. I look to put people in there place
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cara041083 05:49 AM 04-29-2014
Oh and I will add that I had this same thing happen to me while I was prego, I even had a parent hire there own sup to come to my house and watch her kids lol. Yep not gona happen. I ended up terming them, and glad I did
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EntropyControlSpecialist 05:55 AM 04-29-2014
Originally Posted by cara041083:
I would tell her to leave. I wouldn't hire your sup. You wouldn't be able to really rest and enjoy your new lil one with a house full of kids. If your like me, I have a hard time "not doing" anything or taking over. I would give mom her 2 week and play stupid and tell her "well I figured it would help you since you needed an exact date and this way you can fine a new provider that won't need time off" But thats just me lol. I look to put people in there place
I'd do this, too. Or, I would say something like, "Well, I would bring Aidan to my delivery but I would prefer that to just be family time. YA KNOW?! "
An exact date....geesh.

Originally Posted by cara041083:
Oh and I will add that I had this same thing happen to me while I was prego, I even had a parent hire there own sup to come to my house and watch her kids lol. Yep not gona happen. I ended up terming them, and glad I did
WOW! Now I have read it all.
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NeedaVaca 05:55 AM 04-29-2014
Jeez...you want an exact date? Term, there you go (big smile) now she has her date. I would also be ready to put her in her place,especially if I was pregnant-I would not have the patience for that, nor is the stress good for the baby. I would call her out on ridiculous request...
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Kabob 06:26 AM 04-29-2014
I honestly was so tired (3ish hours of sleep...yay insomnia) that I didn't have a snappy comeback when she asked why I simply couldn't stay open the entire time. I jumbled together something about not feeling safe or comfortable staying open after talking to my licensor. Sigh...I'll have to clarify that one....my dad is a contractor and plans to stay with us while I'm closed so that he can fix/add some stuff for us (install an extra door in the garage for instance) so I wouldn't feel safe with the kids around that plus I don't think I'm allowed to do that kind of thing during daycare. Plus, as already mentioned, I too am the kind of person that wouldn't be able to relax while there are other kids here...I would want to jump in too...plus this is my own home.

And let's just say I live in crazy backwards world and I did say I'd be open instead of closed back in December. It doesn't matter now because what I put in writing now is that I will be closed. And it's my business. If I want to say everyone must wear pink tutus one week and the next week I send a letter saying everyone wears pants only then that nulls and voids what I said previously. The past is the past and what is happening now is what matters. Besides...I could have complications and need to close longer. Who knows?

I get that I need to be reliable so I totally am planning on everyone jumping ship and I wouldn't blame them...but goodness I don't need to be badgered every week about it...I'm not going to be duped into doing something that would make my family very unhappy...

Plus...both my licensor and food program rep think I'm crazy for only closing for 2 weeks...they both have said that most providers around here close at least for 4 weeks (mostly paid) and think I'm cutting myself too short. My licensor told me to tell dcm to "get over it."
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MotherNature 06:59 AM 04-29-2014
Ridiculous request. She must have had an elective c section if she is expecting you to know the exact date your baby will be born. Ugh.
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jenn 07:13 AM 04-29-2014
She is ridiculous! It makes no difference what you originally said. You have given her more than enough time to make different arrangements. I would not tolerate the daily comments and questions. You told her what the plan is. Her opinion of the situation is not at all important. I would tell her that since she is unhappy with the situation, that she should start looking for another daycare. That way she can be settled in to a new place before your baby is born and she won't have to worry about the 2 weeks.
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KiddieCahoots 08:17 AM 04-29-2014
Good God! This parent is nuts!
Sounds like she is just looking for you to give her an excuse to leave at this point. So give her one.....her 2 weeks notice! Lol!
The undue anxiety she is causing you and your baby at a time that is suppose to be joyful. Ugh! I'll never understand how some parents can act like this!
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Play Care 08:55 AM 04-29-2014
Originally Posted by jenn:
She is ridiculous! It makes no difference what you originally said. You have given her more than enough time to make different arrangements. I would not tolerate the daily comments and questions. You told her what the plan is. Her opinion of the situation is not at all important. I would tell her that since she is unhappy with the situation, that she should start looking for another daycare. That way she can be settled in to a new place before your baby is born and she won't have to worry about the 2 weeks.



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Kabob 10:25 AM 04-29-2014
Originally Posted by KiddieCahoots:
Good God! This parent is nuts!
Sounds like she is just looking for you to give her an excuse to leave at this point. So give her one.....her 2 weeks notice! Lol!
The undue anxiety she is causing you and your baby at a time that is suppose to be joyful. Ugh! I'll never understand how some parents can act like this!
I think she's looking for an excuse too. I really would be happy if she left at this point. She's the one that gave me an attitude and then backed off when confronted about it...she said she just was having a bad day but it seems now that she just is festering over my pregnancy and it is showing in the way she talks to me now. I get it. It's an inconvenience. I'm not expecting her or anyone else to stay. I'm not expecting to get paid during this. I just expect respect. I don't even know why I tried to justify my closure to her....me having a baby should be all she needs to know.

I guess I'm just tossing around the idea of giving her an easy out at this point....maybe I'll type up something during naptime....she's the only one complaining...everyone else has already made plans. Again, even my licensor was shocked at her behavior...she has had months to make a backup plan and yet again this morning was asking me what I expect her to do for 2 weeks...

Urgh...I don't know why this is bothering me so much...
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coolconfidentme 10:29 AM 04-29-2014
The next time she brings it up I would smile & tell her, "Wow! It just occurred to me where your child's gets their repetitive nature from."
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Kabob 10:35 AM 04-29-2014
Originally Posted by coolconfidentme:
The next time she brings it up I would smile & tell her, "Wow! It just occurred to me where your child's gets their repetitive nature from."
It doesn't help that her child happens to be in a difficult phase right now...her diapers are leaking again and she is teething on everything and not listening and is throwing things and screaming at drop off again and not napping quietly and so forth...gotta love "terrible twos".
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taylorw1210 10:42 AM 04-29-2014
You know how to put an end to the comments quick?

Next time she makes one say, "DCM, this seems to really be an issue for you. Should I write up your 2 weeks notice of termination?"

Don't you dare justify or explain things anymore! 2 weeks is nothing after having a baby.
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kitykids3 11:18 AM 04-29-2014
oh yeah, just give her the two weeks notice if the money isn't an issue. She and her child do not need to be causing you and your unborn baby all this stress. Quite frankly you've given her plenty of details and notice. There should be no discussion about it left til your baby comes. She needs to be a grown up and figure out her alternative plans and leave you alone. Maybe she'd be able to figure it out if she spent more time trying to and less time complaining to you.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 11:45 AM 04-29-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
I honestly was so tired (3ish hours of sleep...yay insomnia) that I didn't have a snappy comeback when she asked why I simply couldn't stay open the entire time. I jumbled together something about not feeling safe or comfortable staying open after talking to my licensor. Sigh...I'll have to clarify that one....my dad is a contractor and plans to stay with us while I'm closed so that he can fix/add some stuff for us (install an extra door in the garage for instance) so I wouldn't feel safe with the kids around that plus I don't think I'm allowed to do that kind of thing during daycare. Plus, as already mentioned, I too am the kind of person that wouldn't be able to relax while there are other kids here...I would want to jump in too...plus this is my own home.

And let's just say I live in crazy backwards world and I did say I'd be open instead of closed back in December. It doesn't matter now because what I put in writing now is that I will be closed. And it's my business. If I want to say everyone must wear pink tutus one week and the next week I send a letter saying everyone wears pants only then that nulls and voids what I said previously. The past is the past and what is happening now is what matters. Besides...I could have complications and need to close longer. Who knows?

I get that I need to be reliable so I totally am planning on everyone jumping ship and I wouldn't blame them...but goodness I don't need to be badgered every week about it...I'm not going to be duped into doing something that would make my family very unhappy...

Plus...both my licensor and food program rep think I'm crazy for only closing for 2 weeks...they both have said that most providers around here close at least for 4 weeks (mostly paid) and think I'm cutting myself too short. My licensor told me to tell dcm to "get over it."
I closed for 2 FULL weeks (and a Friday that I spent birthing her!) last year. I not only had 0 people jump ship but I had people enroll throughout my pregnancy AND right before she was born. 2 kids began care here the week I had her!!!! You will be fine and it might be best to get rid of crazy mom.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 11:46 AM 04-29-2014
Originally Posted by taylorw1210:
you know how to put an end to the comments quick?

Next time she makes one say, "dcm, this seems to really be an issue for you. Should i write up your 2 weeks notice of termination?"

don't you dare justify or explain things anymore! 2 weeks is nothing after having a baby.
amen!!!!!
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Kabob 11:54 AM 04-29-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
I closed for 2 FULL weeks (and a Friday that I spent birthing her!) last year. I not only had 0 people jump ship but I had people enroll throughout my pregnancy AND right before she was born. 2 kids began care here the week I had her!!!! You will be fine and it might be best to get rid of crazy mom.
I guess I'm just annoyed because I will be closed for way less time than anyone else in the area and without pay (another rarity here) and yet that's cause for her to try to dump guilt on me. I guess we'll see what she says at pick up...I'm not worried if anyone jumps ship...I managed to set aside quite a bit of money that will last us for a while even without me making income (you never know)...just feel like a b-word for dumping her right before the baby is due.
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Oss_cc 12:24 PM 04-29-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
I guess I'm just annoyed because I will be closed for way less time than anyone else in the area and without pay (another rarity here) and yet that's cause for her to try to dump guilt on me. I guess we'll see what she says at pick up...I'm not worried if anyone jumps ship...I managed to set aside quite a bit of money that will last us for a while even without me making income (you never know)...just feel like a b-word for dumping her right before the baby is due.
Don't feel like that! She's the one being rude and ridiculous. I can't imagine any of my current DCPs acting this way if I were pregnant. If they did, I'd give them the boot!
Sorry, I was wayyyy to hormonal to put up with nonsense like that when I was pregnant. I worked retail with my first, and it was a trial!
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Kabob 01:20 PM 04-29-2014
Thanks guys...if it wasn't for this forum, I probably would either think I'm being hormonal or I just would've gone crazy. It seems to be the parents that like to test me more than the kids....the kids learn quickly at least...I can't tell you how often I've had to enforce the same policy on the same parents this past week...I should have a $5 per reminder fee or something to see if it sticks...
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CraftyMom 02:07 PM 04-29-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
Thanks guys...if it wasn't for this forum, I probably would either think I'm being hormonal or I just would've gone crazy. It seems to be the parents that like to test me more than the kids....the kids learn quickly at least...I can't tell you how often I've had to enforce the same policy on the same parents this past week...I should have a $5 per reminder fee or something to see if it sticks...
I do think you have gone crazy...for only taking 2 weeks off...and unpaid!! Give yourself time to recover and bond with that new baby! If dcm doesn't like it too bad! She will move on and forget all about you! That baby however isn't going anywhere and these first days are very few and very special, don't deny yourself something so important to please ANYONE! You won't get this time back!
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KiddieCahoots 02:35 PM 04-29-2014
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:
I do think you have gone crazy...for only taking 2 weeks off...and unpaid!! Give yourself time to recover and bond with that new baby! If dcm doesn't like it too bad! She will move on and forget all about you! That baby however isn't going anywhere and these first days are very few and very special, don't deny yourself something so important to please ANYONE! You won't get this time back!
Perfectly put!
Kabob you obviously have a big heart. Don't let this dcm play it against you! You don't owe her diddlie squat!
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Kabob 03:57 PM 04-29-2014
Eh...I've been called crazy before...my food program rep insists I'm cutting myself short and my family is rooting for me to take more days off.

I guess I do feel bad leaving people in the lurch even though I don't have to feel bad...I am crazy like that.

Dcm didn't say anything at pick up...grabbed her child and practically ran...so I guess I'll see her tomorrow....
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drseuss 04:05 PM 04-29-2014
I keep reading this thread and getting cranky on your behalf!

I may be soured from experience, but that is not a family that I would want to be working with.

Have that baby and enjoy it and take care of you and your family first.
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Kabob 05:36 AM 04-30-2014
Sigh...why do the parents always have to cry when I suggest they go elsewhere?

Dcm came in today and asked again about my plan for closing for maternity leave. I reiterated it again and told her that since she seems so concerned about it then maybe she would be happier finding another daycare that fit her needs better. She started crying and said she's happy here and is loyal and wouldn't leave me but is having a hard time with all the "constant changes" I've been making. She said, for instance, my recent "rate increase" has been hard on her and she doesn't know how long she can afford it and feels I did it because she did something wrong. I pointed out it wasn't a rate increase but a part of her contract that I was waiving up until recently because I needed to do what was financially best for the daycare and was a business decision not a personal one. She then asked if I would be changing the contract soon. I told her there was no need right now and it doesn't expire until December anyway. She tried to insist it did but I reminded her again it doesn't. Then she said she is having a hard time with the time change I made for breakfast because dcg won't eat at home. I told her that dcg won't eat breakfast early her and that I am sticking to that change as well since dcg eats better with a later breakfast. Then dcm asked again about whether I hated her and again I said no...I need to run a business. Dcm said (still crying) she wants to stay here because it is really hard for her to switch daycares but my "rate increase" has caused me to be more expensive than the center she was at before (not true and besides...she could easily lower her rate by arranging to pick up earlier than 10.5 hours). I said well, you gotta do what's best for your family and I gotta do what's best for mine. It does not make good business sense for me to continue to work for free as it was costing me a lot, as you can now see since I've passed that cost on to you...besides, I now have an assistant to consider who is highly qualified and deserved to get paid her fair share too. Dcm then left crying saying she hopes I'm in this for the long haul with her and that I won't term her because she's been making a lot of changes to accommodate me.

I don't even know what to think anymore...normally I would feel bad but I mainly feel that I've been more than accommodating for her and a lot of her issues are a result of her refusing to adjust...but maybe that's just me being selfish...
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cara041083 06:05 AM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
Sigh...why do the parents always have to cry when I suggest they go elsewhere?

Dcm came in today and asked again about my plan for closing for maternity leave. I reiterated it again and told her that since she seems so concerned about it then maybe she would be happier finding another daycare that fit her needs better. She started crying and said she's happy here and is loyal and wouldn't leave me but is having a hard time with all the "constant changes" I've been making. She said, for instance, my recent "rate increase" has been hard on her and she doesn't know how long she can afford it and feels I did it because she did something wrong. I pointed out it wasn't a rate increase but a part of her contract that I was waiving up until recently because I needed to do what was financially best for the daycare and was a business decision not a personal one. She then asked if I would be changing the contract soon. I told her there was no need right now and it doesn't expire until December anyway. She tried to insist it did but I reminded her again it doesn't. Then she said she is having a hard time with the time change I made for breakfast because dcg won't eat at home. I told her that dcg won't eat breakfast early her and that I am sticking to that change as well since dcg eats better with a later breakfast. Then dcm asked again about whether I hated her and again I said no...I need to run a business. Dcm said (still crying) she wants to stay here because it is really hard for her to switch daycares but my "rate increase" has caused me to be more expensive than the center she was at before (not true and besides...she could easily lower her rate by arranging to pick up earlier than 10.5 hours). I said well, you gotta do what's best for your family and I gotta do what's best for mine. It does not make good business sense for me to continue to work for free as it was costing me a lot, as you can now see since I've passed that cost on to you...besides, I now have an assistant to consider who is highly qualified and deserved to get paid her fair share too. Dcm then left crying saying she hopes I'm in this for the long haul with her and that I won't term her because she's been making a lot of changes to accommodate me.

I don't even know what to think anymore...normally I would feel bad but I mainly feel that I've been more than accommodating for her and a lot of her issues are a result of her refusing to adjust...but maybe that's just me being selfish...
It is not your job to feel bad for her. All she is doing is trying to make you feel bad. I would hand her a term letter and BE DONE! You have tried to be nice and understand and she has fought you every step in the way. Trust me, the first morning that you don't have to deal with her, will be one of the best mornings you have had in a long time. I had one parent do this to me and after she realized I WAS the best place for her child, she has been begging to come back and still is to this day! Hold your ground and don't let her push you around.
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Kabob 06:13 AM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by cara041083:
It is not your job to feel bad for her. All she is doing is trying to make you feel bad. I would hand her a term letter and BE DONE! You have tried to be nice and understand and she has fought you every step in the way. Trust me, the first morning that you don't have to deal with her, will be one of the best mornings you have had in a long time. I had one parent do this to me and after she realized I WAS the best place for her child, she has been begging to come back and still is to this day! Hold your ground and don't let her push you around.
I know she is only saying what she needs to say so I won't term her before she finds different care but I can't help but feel bad even thinking about terming her. Some days I work 10 hours anyway but I don't have anyone other than her that stays the full 10 hours (and then some in her case). She just has been dragging on me lately so that 10 hours just drags on for some reason...

I am so happy I got an assistant anyway...it's nice to have an adult to talk to and have back up...so even if dcm leaves I'm keeping the assistant for the remainder of my pregnancy (and maybe a bit afterwards).
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CraftyMom 06:18 AM 04-30-2014
You should let her know that she is not accommodating you, it's called following polices because this is the daycare she chose. She could choose another where she won't have to be so "accommodating". That would have irked me, the fact that she thinks she is being accommodating by following rules
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Kabob 06:30 AM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:
You should let her know that she is not accommodating you, it's called following polices because this is the daycare she chose. She could choose another where she won't have to be so "accommodating". That would have irked me, the fact that she thinks she is being accommodating by following rules

True but I haven't been open for a year yet and she was my first client...so as I learned and adjusted along the way, she has had to adjust as well. So I get where she's coming from but the only big change I made was the rate structure and my hours back in December (she's been with me since July). The rest were smaller changes like putting loveys in the cubbies instead of letting them carry it around all day...
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NeedaVaca 06:41 AM 04-30-2014
If she continues these conversations just be blunt and tell her they are becoming redundant and you will not entertain them any longer. She can follow your current policies and there is no need to continue discussing them. If she continues to talk about policies or pregnancy plans she should consider it her 2 weeks notice. I would have lost my patience for this by now...
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MarinaVanessa 07:12 AM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by NeedaVaca:
If she continues these conversations just be blunt and tell her they are becoming redundant and you will not entertain them any longer. She can follow your current policies and there is no need to continue discussing them. If she continues to talk about policies or pregnancy plans she should consider it her 2 weeks notice. I would have lost my patience for this by now...


"You know Susan, it really feels as if you are the one that is unhappy with me and my daycare. You keep calling it a "rate increase" but no matter how many times you want to call it that it's not what it is. Only you control what your rate is, if it's too much for you to pay then you can always reduce your daycare hours. The rate is the rate. If you work more, you get paid more. If you need more daycare hours you pay more. For a long time you got a discount which I cannot afford to give you any more and I feel that now that I can't give it you aren't grateful for my kindness.

And this whole round and round thing about it and my pregnancy among other little things is really getting tiresome and it's unnecessary. As far as my pregnancy goes, why don't you tell me when I'm going into labor. You know as much as I do as to when that would be.

I made changes that needed to be done for the whole of the group and for my business. For whatever reason you are taking it personal and it isn't. I like having you here however if the changes and implementation of policies that were already in place are not working for you and you need a different child care provider I will understand with no hard feelings. However, and let me be clear about this... today is the last day that I will be discussing these topics with you. I have discussed them with you already and no matter how many times you bring it up the answer is still the same"

Thats how I would handle it anyway.

And if she brought it up again I would completely ignore her and talk about something else like her childs day.

good grief.
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KiddieCahoots 08:29 AM 04-30-2014
Good grief is right!
The cycle of emotions used when someone is trying to dodge the factual outcome.......
first tears ....
finally anger.....
All while clinging to denial and trying to turn the tables back onto us.....
I'm sorry, maybe that's a little extreme, but she just isn't hearing you. Sounds like your doing your best to get through to her too.
I'm so sorry she is doing this to you, totally selfish on her part!
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SignMeUp 09:26 AM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by KiddieCahoots:
Good grief is right!
The cycle of emotions used when someone is trying to dodge the factual outcome.......
first tears ....
finally anger.....
Wow. My whole past two weeks suddenly become clear
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My3cents 09:56 AM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
I honestly was so tired (3ish hours of sleep...yay insomnia) that I didn't have a snappy comeback when she asked why I simply couldn't stay open the entire time. I jumbled together something about not feeling safe or comfortable staying open after talking to my licensor. Sigh...I'll have to clarify that one....my dad is a contractor and plans to stay with us while I'm closed so that he can fix/add some stuff for us (install an extra door in the garage for instance) so I wouldn't feel safe with the kids around that plus I don't think I'm allowed to do that kind of thing during daycare. Plus, as already mentioned, I too am the kind of person that wouldn't be able to relax while there are other kids here...I would want to jump in too...plus this is my own home.

And let's just say I live in crazy backwards world and I did say I'd be open instead of closed back in December. It doesn't matter now because what I put in writing now is that I will be closed. And it's my business. If I want to say everyone must wear pink tutus one week and the next week I send a letter saying everyone wears pants only then that nulls and voids what I said previously. The past is the past and what is happening now is what matters. Besides...I could have complications and need to close longer. Who knows?

I get that I need to be reliable so I totally am planning on everyone jumping ship and I wouldn't blame them...but goodness I don't need to be badgered every week about it...I'm not going to be duped into doing something that would make my family very unhappy...

Plus...both my licensor and food program rep think I'm crazy for only closing for 2 weeks...they both have said that most providers around here close at least for 4 weeks (mostly paid) and think I'm cutting myself too short. My licensor told me to tell dcm to "get over it."
maternity leave is 6 weeks for most jobs
Canada its a year!!!

That bonding time is critical for you and your baby.

Nicely tell this client what she wants to know and that would be that she is done on such and such a date. Get clients in that will appreciate you and all you do.

You should get a two week paid vacation and in the event of having a baby I would use that time for that. Then I would save up and take as much time off as you can. You will loose clients because they are depending upon a service, but some might come back to you and go somewhere else temporary. I am learning that we providers need to look out for what is best for our families and our lives, because that is what everyone else is doing. I try hard to do that with as much understanding and kindness as possible.

Best and I wish you a safe wonderful delivery of your new addition
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My3cents 10:02 AM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
I think she's looking for an excuse too. I really would be happy if she left at this point. She's the one that gave me an attitude and then backed off when confronted about it...she said she just was having a bad day but it seems now that she just is festering over my pregnancy and it is showing in the way she talks to me now. I get it. It's an inconvenience. I'm not expecting her or anyone else to stay. I'm not expecting to get paid during this. I just expect respect. I don't even know why I tried to justify my closure to her....me having a baby should be all she needs to know. you got it!!!

I guess I'm just tossing around the idea of giving her an easy out at this point....maybe I'll type up something during naptime....she's the only one complaining...everyone else has already made plans. Again, even my licensor was shocked at her behavior...she has had months to make a backup plan and yet again this morning was asking me what I expect her to do for 2 weeks... She is causing you stress. She has an entitled attitude and is pushing this on you- don't let her. I am closing when I have the baby and you will need to have back up care for the time that I am closed. End it. If she starts her poo then just tell her look I think you need to make other plans for daycare altogether, we are not meshing very well and I am done with this. Consider this your two week notice.

Urgh...I don't know why this is bothering me so much...
because your prego and your hormones are multi faceting and you care~

I responded above in hopefully red
best-
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My3cents 10:06 AM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
It doesn't help that her child happens to be in a difficult phase right now...her diapers are leaking again and she is teething on everything and not listening and is throwing things and screaming at drop off again and not napping quietly and so forth...gotta love "terrible twos".
leaking diapers- unsanitary Mom I need diapers that fit properly

The two's........well that is part of doing daycare and the age.

This is your business and you need to take it on and own it. You will be respected if you don't allow a client to walk on you. I get the feeling this mom intimidates you and some do, you just can't allow it.
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My3cents 10:06 AM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by taylorw1210:
You know how to put an end to the comments quick?

Next time she makes one say, "DCM, this seems to really be an issue for you. Should I write up your 2 weeks notice of termination?"

Don't you dare justify or explain things anymore! 2 weeks is nothing after having a baby.

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My3cents 10:12 AM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
I guess I'm just annoyed because I will be closed for way less time than anyone else in the area and without pay (another rarity here) and yet that's cause for her to try to dump guilt on me. I guess we'll see what she says at pick up...I'm not worried if anyone jumps ship...I managed to set aside quite a bit of money that will last us for a while even without me making income (you never know)...just feel like a b-word for dumping her right before the baby is due.
Listen Shish-

your not that b word. This is your business! You can't get that precious time back with your baby. Enjoy it. Use paid vacation time. Very few perks to this job, take the ones that you can. Paid vacations, paid holidays, and personal days. This is called being good to yourself. Your not dumping her your giving her a choice, she can either respect you or decide she is not going to. Stop giving her so much of yourself. Be brief and to the point and say what you want and what you plan to do- If this client jumps ship it sounds like it would be doing you a big favor.
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CraftyMom 10:14 AM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
I'm getting really tired of my one dcm constantly bringing up how much of an inconvenience it is to her that I'll be closing "without warning" for 2 weeks (unpaid) when I have my baby.
I just want to say this line is hilarious! Because a growing belly isn't enough warning?

Unless you aren't showing yet
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My3cents 10:14 AM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
I guess I'm just annoyed because I will be closed for way less time than anyone else in the area and without pay (another rarity here) and yet that's cause for her to try to dump guilt on me. I guess we'll see what she says at pick up...I'm not worried if anyone jumps ship...I managed to set aside quite a bit of money that will last us for a while even without me making income (you never know)...just feel like a b-word for dumping her right before the baby is due.
another thing is you don't know if you will need two weeks or longer. I pray you have a safe and quick delivery but if you end up needing an emergency c-section you might need more time off then two weeks- don't put up with this rude client anymore, your worth more then this and so is your child.
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My3cents 10:16 AM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:
I do think you have gone crazy...for only taking 2 weeks off...and unpaid!! Give yourself time to recover and bond with that new baby! If dcm doesn't like it too bad! She will move on and forget all about you! That baby however isn't going anywhere and these first days are very few and very special, don't deny yourself something so important to please ANYONE! You won't get this time back!


listen to this real good advise- because its true and its from seasoned providers-
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Luna 10:16 AM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by MV:


"You know Susan, it really feels as if you are the one that is unhappy with me and my daycare. You keep calling it a "rate increase" but no matter how many times you want to call it that it's not what it is. Only you control what your rate is, if it's too much for you to pay then you can always reduce your daycare hours. The rate is the rate. If you work more, you get paid more. If you need more daycare hours you pay more. For a long time you got a discount which I cannot afford to give you any more and I feel that now that I can't give it you aren't grateful for my kindness.

And this whole round and round thing about it and my pregnancy among other little things is really getting tiresome and it's unnecessary. As far as my pregnancy goes, why don't you tell me when I'm going into labor. You know as much as I do as to when that would be.

I made changes that needed to be done for the whole of the group and for my business. For whatever reason you are taking it personal and it isn't. I like having you here however if the changes and implementation of policies that were already in place are not working for you and you need a different child care provider I will understand with no hard feelings. However, and let me be clear about this... today is the last day that I will be discussing these topics with you. I have discussed them with you already and no matter how many times you bring it up the answer is still the same"
I think this is perfect. Call her and read this over the phone, or text it to her, or copy/paste and email it to her, print it out and put it in her hand...this is the information she needs.
I'm getting angry for you. I hope you can put an end to it soon and have some peace. You do NOT need this aggravation! It isn't good for you and your baby! Please tune her in!

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My3cents 10:21 AM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
Eh...I've been called crazy before...my food program rep insists I'm cutting myself short and my family is rooting for me to take more days off.

I guess I do feel bad leaving people in the lurch even though I don't have to feel bad...I am crazy like that.

Dcm didn't say anything at pick up...grabbed her child and practically ran...so I guess I'll see her tomorrow....
listen to others around you that have your back. They are right, your cutting yourself short

She would think nothing of dumping you for a better opportunity to better herself. Not that I feel we should live tit to tat but this client is rude to you and playing on your niceties. Let it go........tell her what your doing and then let her decide what she wants to do, but what you do is not let her make you feel bad about it one more second. When she complains, just tell her I guess your going to have to make other arrangements if your not happy with the way I have decided to take my maternity leave.

I know I have responded a lot to this. I just get compassionate about helping others and I read and respond.......and forget to read all the way through the thread before responding. I get excited like a little puppy when I can help someone else out. I was so fortunate to all of you when you helped me out and still am very grateful
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My3cents 10:27 AM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
Sigh...why do the parents always have to cry when I suggest they go elsewhere?

Dcm came in today and asked again about my plan for closing for maternity leave. I reiterated it again and told her that since she seems so concerned about it then maybe she would be happier finding another daycare that fit her needs better. She started crying and said she's happy here and is loyal and wouldn't leave me but is having a hard time with all the "constant changes" I've been making. She said, for instance, my recent "rate increase" has been hard on her and she doesn't know how long she can afford it and feels I did it because she did something wrong. I pointed out it wasn't a rate increase but a part of her contract that I was waiving up until recently because I needed to do what was financially best for the daycare and was a business decision not a personal one. She then asked if I would be changing the contract soon. I told her there was no need right now and it doesn't expire until December anyway. She tried to insist it did but I reminded her again it doesn't. Then she said she is having a hard time with the time change I made for breakfast because dcg won't eat at home. I told her that dcg won't eat breakfast early her and that I am sticking to that change as well since dcg eats better with a later breakfast. Then dcm asked again about whether I hated her and again I said no...I need to run a business. Dcm said (still crying) she wants to stay here because it is really hard for her to switch daycares but my "rate increase" has caused me to be more expensive than the center she was at before (not true and besides...she could easily lower her rate by arranging to pick up earlier than 10.5 hours). I said well, you gotta do what's best for your family and I gotta do what's best for mine. It does not make good business sense for me to continue to work for free as it was costing me a lot, as you can now see since I've passed that cost on to you...besides, I now have an assistant to consider who is highly qualified and deserved to get paid her fair share too. Dcm then left crying saying she hopes I'm in this for the long haul with her and that I won't term her because she's been making a lot of changes to accommodate me.

I don't even know what to think anymore...normally I would feel bad but I mainly feel that I've been more than accommodating for her and a lot of her issues are a result of her refusing to adjust...but maybe that's just me being selfish...
Stick to your policies. She doesn't have to like them. She is playing you like a fiddle. She knows how to manipulate you. Why is her kid in care for 10.5 hours a day. I would reduce this- your a provide not a sitter. Unless she has a long commute and is paying you well for that time I would let her know that her child is not to be in care for those long days. When does she spend any time with her kiddo? I am guessing she has weird hours.

Be nice and kind but don't be walked on.
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cheerfuldom 10:32 AM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by MV:


"You know Susan, it really feels as if you are the one that is unhappy with me and my daycare. You keep calling it a "rate increase" but no matter how many times you want to call it that it's not what it is. Only you control what your rate is, if it's too much for you to pay then you can always reduce your daycare hours. The rate is the rate. If you work more, you get paid more. If you need more daycare hours you pay more. For a long time you got a discount which I cannot afford to give you any more and I feel that now that I can't give it you aren't grateful for my kindness.

And this whole round and round thing about it and my pregnancy among other little things is really getting tiresome and it's unnecessary. As far as my pregnancy goes, why don't you tell me when I'm going into labor. You know as much as I do as to when that would be.

I made changes that needed to be done for the whole of the group and for my business. For whatever reason you are taking it personal and it isn't. I like having you here however if the changes and implementation of policies that were already in place are not working for you and you need a different child care provider I will understand with no hard feelings. However, and let me be clear about this... today is the last day that I will be discussing these topics with you. I have discussed them with you already and no matter how many times you bring it up the answer is still the same"

Thats how I would handle it anyway.

And if she brought it up again I would completely ignore her and talk about something else like her childs day.

good grief.
the bolded is what I would say and all I would say. Some parents need one firm statement repeated over and over. Do not get baited into anymore conversations. She is child that is trying to wear you down by asking over and over if she can have her way. Seriously, she is using child like behavior. The tears are all part of plan B...."once asking and asking doesn't work, then I will start crying and see where it gets me". Some people never grow up. I have a few phrases that i use for these parents.

"XYX is not negotiable"
"We have already discussed XYZ and you know where I stand on it so this discussion is over"
"You already know m policy regarding XYZ so now you need to decide if you can adjust to that or if you need to provide a two weeks notice"
"This discussion is over. You need to leave"

Seriously, STOP getting into these discussions. End it, right now.

I bet the other part of this issue is that she is jealous of your baby......the newborn that will be taking time and attention away from her princess. Its an issue we here on the forum dont talk about much but i have experienced several times. Parents that go ape-crazy and get jealous and demanding right around when your child is going to be born. They are wanting to test out the new pecking order and make sure they and their special snowflake are still on top. You are showing them she is not number one at your house and she isnt going to like that.

For me, I would just give do an immediate termination on Friday and be done with it. Two weeks notice period is going to be a nightmare with her.
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My3cents 10:37 AM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
True but I haven't been open for a year yet and she was my first client...so as I learned and adjusted along the way, she has had to adjust as well. So I get where she's coming from but the only big change I made was the rate structure and my hours back in December (she's been with me since July). The rest were smaller changes like putting loveys in the cubbies instead of letting them carry it around all day...
give yourself a break........there is a learning curve here. Read the boards, tons of info at your finger tips that will help you become stronger and have a wonderful backbone for dealing with clients. This lady is not your friend, she is a business client. Treat her that way and all others. Its not personal it is just business. Then when she pulls out the tears on you, you just stare at her and say nothing. You don't back down from what you believe in. You don't let clients personal problems become your own.

For me what I do, is change my policy/contract/hand/rule book once a year. Usually the beginning of the year- January Unless its something important that I need to address then and there. I put up with changes until this time if possible so that I am not all over the place with my business decisions. The first three years your going to learn a lot and make a ton of changes. Be good to yourself or you will burn out!!!
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saved4always 10:38 AM 04-30-2014
The crying is just manipulative. She wants you to feel bad for her and give in to her by making a crying scene. If it was really less expensive at the old daycare she would go back there. She was getting a deal and she is not happy that she has to pay a fair price now for the time she is using. I used to charge more per day if the contracted hours were more than 8.5 hours. 10 or more is just a crazy long day and should be paid extra for.

Do what is best for your business and for your family. Take the time you need to have your baby and enjoy those first weeks with him/her. Every mom needs to recuperate from birth, even in the case of an "easy" delivery. Make sure you get the rest and time with your new baby you need. Do not let her make you feel bad about what all moms need. Babies grow up fast...mine are 12, 19 and 21 and it feels like I just had them. Don't let some selfish parent make you feel guilty or ruin this time for you.


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kitykids3 10:44 AM 04-30-2014
That emotional guilt trip she just tried pulling on you is ridiculous. Does she go into other places of business that she uses and do that c$*#? That would have been my final straw and I would have told her that her daycare is ending in 2 weeks. Wow, the nerve. You have more patience than I do with the adults. You've got enough to worry about than her issues. And if the other daycare was cheaper and she can't afford you any longer, then tell her to go back there. Ugh!
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taylorw1210 10:45 AM 04-30-2014
Seriously? She cried?

Goodbye, DCM!
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kitykids3 10:49 AM 04-30-2014
Or maybe the next time she wants to discuss this with you, you can tell her you will now be taking 4 weeks off with her because of the extra stress she is putting on you and you'll need the extra rest from it. lol
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saved4always 10:51 AM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by kitykids3:
Or maybe the next time she wants to discuss this with you, you can tell her you will now be taking 4 weeks off with her because of the extra stress she is putting on you and you'll need the extra rest from it. lol

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KiddieCahoots 10:55 AM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by SignMeUp:
Wow. My whole past two weeks suddenly become clear
LOL! I know, maybe a little too much
I can't help but get all flamed when I read what this dcm is doing.

Kabob your about to bring your little wonder into the world. Your future memories about this time are so important. This dcm should not be part of the equation....don't allow her to be.

Everybody here gives such good advice!
My3cents....love how you put it!
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Unregistered 11:09 AM 04-30-2014
The tears spring forth because she NEEDS you to continue looking after her child now, until she succeeds in finding alternative care. She will want to end things on her terms and timing, not yours.
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Unregistered 12:27 PM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by KiddieCahoots:
Good God! This parent is nuts!
Sounds like she is just looking for you to give her an excuse to leave at this point. So give her one.....her 2 weeks notice! Lol!
The undue anxiety she is causing you and your baby at a time that is suppose to be joyful. Ugh! I'll never understand how some parents can act like this!
This!
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Kabob 01:02 PM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by MV:


"You know Susan, it really feels as if you are the one that is unhappy with me and my daycare. You keep calling it a "rate increase" but no matter how many times you want to call it that it's not what it is. Only you control what your rate is, if it's too much for you to pay then you can always reduce your daycare hours. The rate is the rate. If you work more, you get paid more. If you need more daycare hours you pay more. For a long time you got a discount which I cannot afford to give you any more and I feel that now that I can't give it you aren't grateful for my kindness.

And this whole round and round thing about it and my pregnancy among other little things is really getting tiresome and it's unnecessary. As far as my pregnancy goes, why don't you tell me when I'm going into labor. You know as much as I do as to when that would be.

I made changes that needed to be done for the whole of the group and for my business. For whatever reason you are taking it personal and it isn't. I like having you here however if the changes and implementation of policies that were already in place are not working for you and you need a different child care provider I will understand with no hard feelings. However, and let me be clear about this... today is the last day that I will be discussing these topics with you. I have discussed them with you already and no matter how many times you bring it up the answer is still the same"

Thats how I would handle it anyway.

And if she brought it up again I would completely ignore her and talk about something else like her childs day.

good grief.
I agree with this...I have basically said this to her repeatedly in not so many words...mainly: "The plan hasn't changed but I will tell you if it does." Or "I'm doing what's best for everyone/the business. " I feel like she jumps me and then dumps on me....lately I'm exhausted from lack of sleep (I'm 34 weeks pregnant and feeling it!) so she seems to almost intentionally be timing her barrage in the mornings. I don't think as clearly to be honest and then am angry with myself for botching another conversation. I really just need to tell her this isn't the time to be asking me questions as I'm busy...

Originally Posted by My3cents:
Stick to your policies. She doesn't have to like them. She is playing you like a fiddle. She knows how to manipulate you. Why is her kid in care for 10.5 hours a day. I would reduce this- your a provide not a sitter. Unless she has a long commute and is paying you well for that time I would let her know that her child is not to be in care for those long days. When does she spend any time with her kiddo? I am guessing she has weird hours.

Be nice and kind but don't be walked on.
She actually schedules herself 10+ hours a day so she can have 3 consecutive days off (or more) a week. She told me this back in December when I changed my rates to reflect pick up time. She said she was never going to change her hours because she likes her days off and her dh can never drop off or pick up because he works 30 minutes away and doesn't get the routine. So now I charge her for the time used because I was stupid and let her get a $5 a day discount and now she's freaking because she says she needs that discount to stay here. Not my fault she won't change her hours or make dh pick up. She knows she let it slip that he can pick up on some days but chooses not to...so she thinks I'm doing this as punishment. That's my thoughts anyway.

She's not even full time...her schedule varies from 2 to 4 days a week depending on her needs.

I guess it boils down to me just being angry at myself for accommodating her and then her turning around and claiming it's me she's accommodating when she hasn't changed anything...and won't.

I'm just too worn out to be angry at her...just annoyed...she's my new drama mama and she just wants me to cave and say "sure we'll go back to that discounted rate and feel free to continue scheduling long days for dcg." But I'm too tired to want to go back to that...those last few minutes drag on for everyone. I'm hoping she figures out what she wants to do soon because at this rate, I'm not keeping her.

Oh and I did tell her that I could possibly be closed for longer if something goes wrong or I need more rest than anticipated. She was not pleased but I was surprisingly calm (dh says I made her cry because I was too unemotional and didn't mention that I wanted her to stay)...I think I just wasn't processing her attitude quick enough to get mad.
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Kabob 01:06 PM 04-30-2014
Again, I appreciate all of your input! Gives me the knowledge I need to do what's best and gives me a place to constructively vent.

And My3cents, I also appreciate your passion on the matter.

Sometimes I forget how much this affects my family too...even my unborn child...as silly as that sounds.
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TheGoodLife 01:22 PM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:

She's not even full time...her schedule varies from 2 to 4 days a week depending on her needs.

I'm hoping she figures out what she wants to do soon because at this rate, I'm not keeping her.
Personally, for your sanity and for the baby, I'd term now. If you know she's going to be gone anyways, and right now she's just making you stressed and TRYING to get to you when you're more vulnerable (in the mornings). So disrespectful and deserves to be the one getting termed, not terming you when she gets things situated- I can see it being a no notice/ high stress situation anyways. So sorry you have to deal with this, when this should be a nice, happy time for you in your pregnancy!
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kitykids3 01:24 PM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
Again, I appreciate all of your input! Gives me the knowledge I need to do what's best and gives me a place to constructively vent.

And My3cents, I also appreciate your passion on the matter.

Sometimes I forget how much this affects my family too...even my unborn child...as silly as that sounds.
That's just it, the negative stress is already having an effect on your unborn LO. Really, you should just tell her you're done, no more chances. Write up a note and tell her when her last day is. It's not worth it to have that stress and manipulation on you or your baby.
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NeedaVaca 01:25 PM 04-30-2014
I don't know how your pay scale is set up but for a schedule like she has, she is still taking a full time spot. You can't take other kids since her schedule changes. She's lucky you aren't charging her a full time rate (assuming it's more than what she currently pays).
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MarinaVanessa 01:36 PM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
Again, I appreciate all of your input! Gives me the knowledge I need to do what's best and gives me a place to constructively vent.

And My3cents, I also appreciate your passion on the matter.

Sometimes I forget how much this affects my family too...even my unborn child...as silly as that sounds.
That's not silly. You don't need to be going into early labor because of stress. You run a daycare but you're a mom first
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Kabob 02:10 PM 04-30-2014
Originally Posted by NeedaVaca:
I don't know how your pay scale is set up but for a schedule like she has, she is still taking a full time spot. You can't take other kids since her schedule changes. She's lucky you aren't charging her a full time rate (assuming it's more than what she currently pays).
Good point. Now that I'm charging her properly, some weeks she pays more than a full time child and others she pays the same. This way I can deal with her wacky schedule and she can still get flexible days per week. If that makes sense. I don't feel like I make much sense lately...

If I were to compare her to a child, she's not yet to the stress level of a crying child all day long but is currently at the level of a child whining for something they already have been told they can't have multiple times a day.

Not nearly as bad as my last drama mama...if she ever pulled the stunts the last drama mama did then she'd be done today...so far it's just annoying questions and words that she's using to try to get out of her contract on her terms...
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spud912 02:21 PM 04-30-2014
This mom needs a reality check...seriously. I would like to see her only take 2 weeks maternity leave. If anything....YOU should be the one complaining!

I would do as cheer said and just offer short and blunt responses to her whining "we already discussed this....you know the answer." Rinse and repeat. If it continues then I would just say "I don't think this is working out. I've discussed this with you repeatedly and yet you still keep bringing it up. If you can't stop, then I suggest you start looking for another place that better fits your needs because I WILL NOT entertain this discussion or anything similar anymore."

If she starts crying, do the notorious blank stare....NO APOLOGIES!! She will think you're heartless, but it will get the point across.
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Kabob 05:51 AM 05-01-2014
Well she didn't whine or cry this morning but was super cheerful so I was hopeful we turned over a new leaf....until she opened her mouth. She said (surprise!) she's taking tomorrow off to clean her house so she might be a little late dropping off dcg (by a few minutes) but otherwise she will be sticking to the same hours since she knows I like scheduling days in advance. I couldn't stop myself from saying "well actually, I'd be happy to change your schedule since I only allow the late pick up time because you need the time to get here from work. Since you're not working, I will expect dcg to be picked up by my 5pm closing time." Dcm just stood there staring at me and then said "Yeah, sure, I can make that work...." Then left.

Sigh...I keep giving people chances and they just cement their fate instead...no way I'm accommodating her late pick up anymore if she does stay here past Friday...she sees it as an obligation instead of a privilege. My fault for letting it go for so long...
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EntropyControlSpecialist 05:54 AM 05-01-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
Well she didn't whine or cry this morning but was super cheerful so I was hopeful we turned over a new leaf....until she opened her mouth. She said (surprise!) she's taking tomorrow off to clean her house so she might be a little late dropping off dcg (by a few minutes) but otherwise she will be sticking to the same hours since she knows I like scheduling days in advance. I couldn't stop myself from saying "well actually, I'd be happy to change your schedule since I only allow the late pick up time because you need the time to get here from work. Since you're not working, I will expect dcg to be picked up by my 5pm closing time." Dcm just stood there staring at me and then said "Yeah, sure, I can make that work...." Then left.

Sigh...I keep giving people chances and they just cement their fate instead...no way I'm accommodating her late pick up anymore if she does stay here past Friday...she sees it as an obligation instead of a privilege. My fault for letting it go for so long...
Oh brother. Who wants to work late on a Friday night so Mom can relax instead of pregnant you?
Good for you for standing up for yourself. If you don't, no one else will.
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NightOwl 06:26 AM 05-01-2014
Here's a theory: she's jealous. She's jealous of the attention you're getting, the exciting event you're about to experience, the "vacation" you'll get, etc. When people are jealous of something going on in someone else's life, they tend to minimize it and try to make it seem less important than it is. Trying to level the playing field, in a way. She sounds like she is just green with envy, IMO. Maybe not envious of the new baby, but envious of the attention/special treatment most pregnant women get.
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TaylorTots 06:46 AM 05-01-2014
*hug* I feel your stress.

This morning DCM who is due in December:

-looked quite put out that I was not going to let her keep 2 spots for free during maternity leave.
-whined excessively about not having a backup care provider - specifically referencing a date that has already happened and I gave her a month notice to find care.
-claimed from Feb-June next year when she returned from maternity leave she could take zero days off due to her "record" at work for missing days.

She misses work less than 10 days a year because of me needing time off (vacation, personal days for appts, illnesses for myself or my two children) and she could make that number ZERO if she had a couple backup care people lined up. Did I mention my days off are all upaid? Why does she complain, EVERYONE around here who is a CCP has paid days off. Seriously.

I was quite frustrated like you are - but hey.

NOT. MY. PROBLEM.
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KiddieCahoots 06:47 AM 05-01-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
She said (surprise!) she's taking tomorrow off to clean her house so she might be a little late dropping off dcg (by a few minutes) but otherwise she will be sticking to the same hours since she knows I like scheduling days in advance....
And there it is......turning the tables onto you.
To try and twist the set schedule request to this....common!

I've been a mom for 28 years, of 5 children. Not once did I need someone to watch my children so I could clean the house.

Good for you Kabob! Keep on standing your ground!
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Kabob 07:38 AM 05-01-2014
Yeah you guys called it...she has no respect for me and expects special treatment...I just kept making excuses for her for some reason. I keep doing that for people...I try to give them the benefit of the doubt too much.

I should have ended this back when dh mentioned he saw her arrive from the direction of her house instead of her work or other times she let it slip that her husband had the day off but still picked up after hours (this was before I started enforcing my fees).

I'll stop whining now...so done with drama mama...
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spud912 07:42 AM 05-01-2014
Unfortunately, now she will just lie to you when she is not working so she can have that late pick-up .

I always love when parents take off random days with ease to "clean" or for random doctor appointments (yet take off the entire day), but when you need a day off for a valid reason (like maternity leave to recover from CHILD BIRTH), then it's the biggest hassle in the world.
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Kabob 07:46 AM 05-01-2014
Originally Posted by spud912:
Unfortunately, now she will just lie to you when she is not working so she can have that late pick-up .

I always love when parents take off random days with ease to "clean" or for random doctor appointments (yet take off the entire day), but when you need a day off for a valid reason (like maternity leave to recover from CHILD BIRTH), then it's the biggest hassle in the world.
Exactly why I won't be allowing her to schedule late pick ups anymore. Also yeah...cleaning is apparently more important than me giving birth. I wish I could have a day to clean by myself. We'll see what she says when I tell her I'm not allowing her special time anymore...
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My3cents 11:15 AM 05-01-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
Again, I appreciate all of your input! Gives me the knowledge I need to do what's best and gives me a place to constructively vent.

And My3cents, I also appreciate your passion on the matter.

Sometimes I forget how much this affects my family too...even my unborn child...as silly as that sounds.
we do forget until it is put as fact in front of us.

Unless your hubby works in your daycare I wouldn't allow him to tell you how to run your job! I assume he has a job. I assume you don't tell him how to do his job outside of the house. If your talking with a client and they break down, and you stand on your two feet for what you believe in your doing what you should do. It doesn't mean that you don't have compassion for the client, it just means you care about your business and your family and are doing what is best for you. I often find hubbies think only of the $ the client brings in, and not of the toll it takes on the provider. Not all- but many do.

If this mom has a choice I wouldn't allow her to use me for that long a day. You can remedy this by saying that you only allow so many hours per day, as it is not good for the child or the provider to carry on such long hours and you believe that parents should have time in the day to parent their child. Its different if your a center. A center often- not always has rotating employees, in a home its one provider doing the care 10 hours is a huge long day. Again this is your business run it the way you want and what works for you!!! don't let the client run you-
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My3cents 11:23 AM 05-01-2014
Originally Posted by KiddieCahoots:
And there it is......turning the tables onto you.
To try and twist the set schedule request to this....common!

I've been a mom for 28 years, of 5 children. Not once did I need someone to watch my children so I could clean the house.

Good for you Kabob! Keep on standing your ground!
This does always amaze me. I am all for a parent taking a day for themselves when needed. I think its healthy. but if I had a parent that hardly spent time with the child I would say something. I don't get it either........you can't clean your house with your child at home?

I suggest you get a good rule/policy/handbook together that spells out a lot of things for your parents. Learn it well and stick to it. You sound like your getting the hang of it and there is no doubt in my mind that your hormones are going boing right now.....and thats ok. Your allowed!!!
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My3cents 11:25 AM 05-01-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
Exactly why I won't be allowing her to schedule late pick ups anymore. Also yeah...cleaning is apparently more important than me giving birth. I wish I could have a day to clean by myself. We'll see what she says when I tell her I'm not allowing her special time anymore...
you go---- look forward to an update on how that works out for you. I hate it when I see another provider being used.
best-
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SunshineMama 11:51 AM 05-01-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
I'm getting really tired of my one dcm constantly bringing up how much of an inconvenience it is to her that I'll be closing "without warning" for 2 weeks (unpaid) when I have my baby.

She literally had the balls this morning to say that I originally said I would stay open using my sub the entire time (my sub that she didn't like me hiring mind you) and so she is upset I lied to her. I didn't. I originally said 1 week closed back in December but changed it to 2 weeks when dh threw a fit. So I told her accordingly that same month and then reiterated it verbally since then every month and also sent out a letter last week reiterating my pregnancy plan...2 weeks closed unpaid with my sub ready to take over when I go into labor.

She also said this morning that I needed to give her an exact day I plan to pop out this baby. Seriously? Her child was a month early with complications and I'm sure she wasn't asked to work through it...

I'm tired of it. She just won't leave it alone. I wanted to tell her if it's that bad then she should leave....she already is a pain in my rear due to her using over 10 hours a day (paid now but she will probably complain about that soon since it won't be noticeable to her until she uses a full week the next week) and has been just testing my patience on everything lately. I swear if she comes back whining tonight I'm just gonna write her a lovely goodbye note...save myself on some money on paying my assistant since that leaves me with families that only use 9 hours a day...

Ok...vent over...back to my regularly scheduled morning...
I didnt read the other comments. But, if I were you Id dump her in a heartbeat. When I had my baby, my dcps TOLD me to take at least 6 weeks off, and recover.

Thank God I did- I was very ill after having the baby, and the baby had MSPI. It was the worst month ever. If I had daycare kids at my house it would have ended me!
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Kabob 12:23 PM 05-01-2014
I plan to tell her no more today...would it be mean of me to say: "Good news! I found a way to save you money on your daycare bill! I'm not caring for your child past 5pm anymore!"
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CraftyMom 12:28 PM 05-01-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
I plan to tell her no more today...would it be mean of me to say: "Good news! I found a way to save you money on your daycare bill! I'm not caring for your child past 5pm anymore!"

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Kabob 06:11 PM 05-01-2014
Well that conversation actually went really quick...I told her no more after 5pm pickups by the end of this month. She said that's fine since she is signing up for a 30 day trial period with another daycare tonight. I said sounds good, if I need to change anything else sooner I will let her know and vice versa.

Hopefully all will go well...
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MarinaVanessa 01:09 PM 05-02-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
Well that conversation actually went really quick...I told her no more after 5pm pickups by the end of this month. She said that's fine since she is signing up for a 30 day trial period with another daycare tonight. I said sounds good, if I need to change anything else sooner I will let her know and vice versa.

Hopefully all will go well...
"Ahh ok. Well I was giving you until the end of the month because you were a long term client but since you won't be a client anymore after this month then you will need to pick up by 5 starting immediately. "
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Kabob 01:53 PM 05-02-2014
Originally Posted by MV:
"Ahh ok. Well I was giving you until the end of the month because you were a long term client but since you won't be a client anymore after this month then you will need to pick up by 5 starting immediately. "
So tempting. I did tell her I might need to change to 5pm pick ups sooner...depending on how this continues and my pregnancy. She made it sound like she's trying to leave sooner and I encouraged her to do so...
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KiddieCahoots 04:28 PM 05-02-2014
I've never been a fan of letting clients go, and have a reputation of being very patient with my clientele. Which I'm trying to change, in order to keep myself from burning out.
But because I am leaning to let the bad apples go, have to ask if you feel the same way....... Are you feeling some of the stress she's brought your way deflate, now that there's a light at the end of the tunnel?
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