My three year old and three month old started in a home daycare. I really like them, they communicate really well, sending texts and pictures throughout the day. My son seems happy there, my three month old seems content. The thing that bothers me is how she asks us to call or text before drop off, pick up. When I go to pick them up they are by the door all set to go. My 3 year old has his shoes on, 3 month old in the car seat and all their things from the day packed and ready to go. I'm not sure if she does this so that she's got everything ready. I'm just not sure what to think.

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I can think of several reasons why this is happening.

Children have a tendency to misbehave while their parents are present and try and get away with breaking the rules. It is very uncomfortable to correct a child in front of parents, so some providers like to limit the time parents are present. Also, sometimes the presence of other adults makes children act up.

Also, the provider may not want parents to linger. Some parents also appreciate a quick in-and-out.

There are several providers on these forums who have that policy.

I would say if your children seem happy, and well cared for them I wouldn't be too alarmed. I would actually like to have that policy, but I am worried that parents would feel the same way you do. But I don't think it means there is anything to hide, it is probably just for convenience.

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I have the same policy for several reasons.

First, to prevent lingering

Second because as the previous poster said, it limits disruptions because some kids act up at drop off and pick up.

Third because more than one family usually drops off and picks up at the same time and things get confusing and things get forgotten.

Fourth because I'm organized.

Fifth so I can be sure my dogs aren't in the driveway.

I require all parents to give me ten minutes notice before drop off and pick up.

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I have parents call/text if they are picking up at a different time. During nap/towards the end of the day I pack everyone up, and when we see a parent pull up (bay windows in daycare space) we get their shoes and have them ready. As pp have mentioned, my kids are animals around their parents and I would rather not have to correct them about my rules.

Don't understand the calling before drop off UNLESS you drop off/pick up at odd times. I have one parent that I asked to call before drop off AND pick up and that's because she drops off in a 2 hour window and picks up in a 2 hour window and it's sometimes during outside or art time.

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I don't have that rule but sometimes I wish I did. I have a dog who's a jumper and try not to have her out and about during d/o and p/u times. So if parents come at other times we're all trying to run around and get the dog into the crate. We must look like maniacs. And I've never expected them to ring the bell so if nobody notices someone at the door, and the dog gets there first, they get welcomed by the 66# jumping pup first.

While I can completely see the reasons behind what your provider wants you to do, does she also have an open door policy? Keep the communication wide open with your oldest child; they say lots about their day if you listen. Otherwise, as a parent, I'd probably be grateful. Some kids are very difficult to get out the door at the end of the day.

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I would love to request this, well not for drop off, but for pick up. The only reason I don't is because of the feelings you have expressed. It could make a parent think there is something to hide.

Transitions are difficult for some children and the quicker they go the smoother they go in many cases. Like pulling a bandage. Most of my families prefer a quick pick up as they are ready to head home and get on with their evening. One takes up to 40 minutes to complete the pick up process. This makes things challenging and frustrating. The children are no longer following daycare rules and parent has much lower behaviour expectations of them. It distracts me from continuing to provide care to the other children as the parent wants to be engaged in conversation. Causes me to limit what I can discuss with the other parents about their child's day, because of privacy and I don't want to be further questioned about the other children after others have left. It extends my day past their contracted time and disrupts me from moving on to my own family time and possible other obligations. My family complains about it frequently, but I'm not sure how to alter it without coming across as rude and unwelcoming.

If your provider is providing awesome communication about their day in other ways and the children seem happy and well adjusted, things are likely fine. If you are still concerned book a half day off work every now and then. Show up unexpected at an unannounced time (not naptime) to take your children home for the day. Win win situation. Your provider gets a lighter day. You get extra time with your children and get to see how the daycare presents when not expecting a parent arrival or departure.

Chances are if she is an experienced provider she has just found that this method saves a whole lot of chaos and disruption over the years. She may even be thinking she is making your evening and transition to home easier. Also saves hard feelings between parent and provider should behaviour issues flare up with any of the kids during pickups.

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It is probably nothing but it would make me a bit uncomfortable too. If I were a parent, I'd probably just ask her. "I'm just curious why you have us text?" She will probably say it is an organization thing but I'd probably need to ask.

As a provider, I wouldn't like all the texts in the morning/evening.

My parents all have about the same drop off/pick up times give or take a few minutes or so I know about when they are coming and have shoes on and bags packed. I don't put infants in their car seats though. To me that seems a bit impersonal but that is just me.

I once had a client who had varying hours so I did ask her to call as not calling caused us not to be able to go to the park or take a walk because we didn't know when she was coming.

Laurel

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I ask parents who come at varied times or early pick up to do this because my house is large and the kids can be on the bottom level. If I'm here by myself I have to secure the little ones and bring the go home kid up. It takes a few minutes to do that.

Parents feel time standing at the door is WAY longer than it is. They think you are hiding something if you have them stand for a few minutes. So you can't win either way.

I had a parent once who came at the end of the day to pick up his son. His kid was the only kid in the house with my co provider who was legally allowed to have 8 by herself. I was meeting with a gutter repairman at the back of the house and didn't hear him. He came around back because he heard voices.

First he accused me of leaving his kid inside by himself but quickly retracted that when I opened the back door and hollered for my staff assistant to bring the child up. I told him that was a serious allegation and brought him a copy of my registration showing him that my assistant was just as legally able to have his son alone as I was. He then stammered that I agreed to have two providers which I said there ARE two providers here. I explained that his kid was the only kid in the house and I wasn't going to pay someone to sit and watch me watch his one kid.

So he finally shuts up and leaves and next thing I know I get a call frim Mom telling me Dad said he had to wait 10 minutes out front and no one answered the door. I told her that was impossible because just a few minutes before the dad got here we sent home the second to the last kid. He INSISTED it was ten minutes so I brought up the video of my driveway and calculated the time. One and a half minutes. That's the time frim when he pulled in my driveway and when he started back down it to come see if we were in the back.

He could have sworn it was 10 minutes because “it felt like forever". I told the Mom to come watch the time stamped tape. She finally surrendered. Now this family had a deal where their previous high school friend watched the baby before me and left the baby alone in her house when she went to pick her own kids up from.school so they had a bad experience before. They did not turn her in nor do I know if they were exaggerating the story after my experience with them.

We parted ways within a week because I couldn't trust the Dads perception and judgement. His allegations were serious and his perception of time was very skewed.

Your provider is most likely wanting to get you and your kid gone asap so she can move on to the next thing. Some providers like to visit with parents but most want you out the door as soon as possible. I'm one of them. I like to visit for a few minutes now and then but if everything is going great and I don't have any pressing updates, my preference is for the kid to be ready to go and you grab and go. Once you leave I'm either one kid down or done.

Now with newbie kids I spend a little more time and I text back and forth more during the day. If anything spectacular happens you would already know before you left work.

Kids don't change much from day to day so we are often hard pressed to come up with something to talk to you about. Sometimes we get parents who want to hang out to stall taking their kid with them or they want an audience to discuss how gifted and special their kid is. Those parents are super annoying and we don't want to be stuck having to endure that especially if the kid is acting up during it.

So most likely she's trying to get you guys out quick just like you want to get off the clock and get out of your work asap. By the time we have had your kid for nine ten hours we are ready for the work of it to end. Nothing personal.

I don't know why she wants an arrival text. I just want that if they are coming later than.scheduled.

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I ask that my parents text at pick up and drop off for several reasons and so far none of my clients have acted like it was a problem. I do it for several reasons mentioned above, to prevent lingering and to stay organized but the main reason I started it was because we don't have a doorbell. We removed it after a parent kept letting their child push it repeatedly.
My parents all arrive between 7:50 and 9 am and leave between 3-3:30. They rarely come at the exact same time every day and before I had parents start texting we often had to have TV time in my living room instead if playing in the daycare (basement) so I could sit at the window and watch for parents. Imagine 6-8 clients where one is supposed to arrrive at 7:50 but doesnt show up until 8, another is supposed to arrive at 8 but arrives at 8:05, another is supposed to arrive at 8 but arrives at 8:15 and one that is supposed to arrive at 8:30 shows up at 8:45....it goes on and on and made me feel as if i waisted way too much time waiting.
My daycare gets loud and my hearing isn't the best so when we would be playing in the basement and a parent would knock (even though the door is at the top of the stairs) I wouldn't hear them knock as the kids were pounding around in dress up high heels, pounding with tools in the building station etc.
Since I've had parents start texting its freed up our "waiting" time, we no longer have to watch any TV and get to play more and I'm much less stressed if a parent who's scheduled until 3:15 doesn't arrive until 3:30.
In the summer months we are usually in the back yard and parents just let themselves in at pick up so I don't really need them to text as long as they will arrive by 3:30 and currently all of my parents arrive at about the same time every day so I don't need them to text but we keep it up to prevent future problems.
I do tell parents that if they feel the need to stop by unannounced they are free to do so but they must leave with their child. So far in over 10 years no ones taken me up on the offer so they must feel comfortable with the care I provide. I do have parents that will text when they are on my street or in my driveway which is fine, as long as I know someone's here so I can meet them at the door.

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Just want to say I agree with the above posters...
I would like to implement this as well but haven't for the above mentioned reasons.
It is hard as a provider to just... Wait... With a bunch of little ones. Sometimes when parents show up (outside of agreed upon time) I am diapering, the kids are eating or playing a game or reading with me or im feeding a baby or... When a parent interupts that it effects everyone! The other kids who were engaged in something are now just left hanging- which usually creates chaos- while I am helping get the departing/arriving child ready and touching base with the parent. It is disruptive-

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I think it's just what you think. She wants them to be ready for you so that you can take them. I had plenty of parents want their kids ready to go when they got there, but did not call me but did come at different times from time-to-time. I tried my best, if I knew a parent was scheduled to come at a certain time, to have their child ready but sometimes, it was hard to do when they'd be earlier or later than that time. So I started to request that they text or call when they left work and I'd have their child ready for them so they could go.

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Not to hi-jack the thread, but ...

I think I'm going to be implementing a rule of sending me a text before pick-up. I really like being able to have the kids ready to go as soon as their parent walks in the door. My one DCG has started going absolutely bonkers when her parents arrive - running around, yelling, rolling around on the floor. Do you think it will look more fishy to parents that I'm starting it now, after I've been open for 3 months?

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Not if you explain it simply... Trust me- you will add a lot of policies as things come up!

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I personally would not like having 8 different parents texting or calling me daily at both drop off and pick up to say they were on their way. That would drive me crazy!

However, if it is not within the normal window of time they are supposed to arrive or get picked up, then that would be a different story. Parents will text or call if they are arriving late for drop off or picking up early for some reason, but I have never requested it. It is just common courtesy to let me know when to expect them, if it's not the usual time. Most of them all have the same window of time for drop off and pick up, so I know pretty much when to expect them.

At pick up, I like to have their things together, shoes on, etc so it is helpful to know if they are coming earlier than usual & since they are usually on a time crunch and needing to get somewhere like a Dr. appt, they appreciate having them ready to quickly scoot out the door.

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If you are dropping off/picking up at different times, and or trying to hang around at either times, or letting your kids go wild, or taking your time saying goodbyes etc, Yes I would do the same thing, besides it takes a while to get an infant ready to go, and to gather their stuff. Thats why I don't accept car seats, diaper bags, toys,bottles, cupies etc. to go back and forth. That way all they have to do is to pick up the children, oh, and I do a last diaper change ten minutes before departure.Keep in mind, she sounds organized and remember at the end of the day she must be feeling pretty tired,minding children all day is draining. Having the kids ready is a good thing. It helps avoid the crazines.

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I agree that would drive me NUTS....
I only require they call or text if they will be later than normal.
Or picking up earlier.

Noting worse then having a parent pick up early in the middle of pairing and then you have to stop what you are doing, leave kids unsupervised painting to open the door. Then to have that parent not control their child's behavior added to it. Omg I wanna pull my hair out just thinking about it.

Every provider does what works for them and the kids. If you are not comfortable with WHY she does something a certain way. Just ask her. You should be able to express your concerns with your provider. Open communication is so important to have.

Good luck.

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That would drive me crazy too! Texting is not my favorite way to communicate anyway.

Laurel

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All of my clients put prewritten text in so I just get a quick text that says "here", "on my way" or "on your street". I don't mind it and I don't respond to the text. To me is so much better than having children run around crazy because their parent can't control them, having other children act crazy because there is another adult in the house, parents standing with my door open, having a parent linger etc. One of the biggest things for me is that when I get a child ready to go or when they arrive I teach them to take off shoes and coats and put them on, it always seems to me the parents do it for them so they have a hard time with it later when it should be a skill they mastered.
They text, I meet them at the door in the morning and they hand me their child. At pick up they text, I get the child all ready to go and meet them at the door with their child. It keeps parents from tracking dirt into the playroom and keeps me sane. Parents do enter the playroom throughout the year but its pretty rare. They come in on special occasions and there are times once in a whole that I wasn't able to get their child ready so they come in and do it. I try to make sure every parent enters the playroom once in a while so they don't feel disconnected with my daycare.
I prefer to text or email my parents and send pictures of their child to them. It cuts down on parents telling me all about their own lives and things I already know about their child. It cits down on people telling me I didnt tell them something and so many other communication problems. Not that I don't talk to my clients, we do plenty of talking, but unless there's a problem we talk only when I feel like talking and have time.
I understand its not for everyone but I wouldn't do it any other way.

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Agree!!! It would drive me crazy and we are so busy I probably wouldn't have time to check all those texts! I have no desire to carry around my cell. But I agree also that everyone must do what works for them

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I also have all my clients text before drop off/pick up. My kids arrive between 7:30-9:30. Most parents say they will drop off around 7:45, but usually it's not until 8:30. Before I had them text me, I was just twiddling my thumbs in the playroom until they arrived.

Now I just head down stairs once the first kid is on their way, which often allows more time with my own child upstairs in her own space, or time to empty the dishwasher, or put away some laundry...

At pick up it gives me the opportunity to get the kid organized, make sure their diaper is dry/have them use the toilet, have them help clean up some toys. This way all these things aren't happening once the parent is here, b/c most children are too excited to see their parents that they won't want to help clean up, or use the toilet.

I have never had a parent question the policy, but I always explain why I do it, so possibly that helps?

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My parents all contract for specific drop off and pick up times.

I would NEVER be comfortable (as a parent) being required to call/text before dropping off or picking up and would NEVER consider enrolling my child in a care facility that has that requirement.

The ONLY time I would be comfortable with it (BOTH as a provider and as a parent) is if my drop off and/or pick up time is outside of my contracted times.

Also the ONLY time I have ever had a child bundled up and ready to go by the door is if a child or parent has a difficult time transitioning for drop off/pick ups.

I don't know but something seems a little "off" about this.

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I don't understand why this seems "off"? A lot of people have explained their reasoning as to why this is beneficial to their program. My parents vary with their pick-up times greatly, within an hour to an hour and a half range. I already have one parent that does this without my request. Another parent occasionally asks, "Did DCD pick up yet?" so I kind of get a sense of when she is coming, but I think it would be so helpful to our end of the day routine to add into my policies to send a quick text that they are on their way.

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I do wonder what the OP's arrangement is with the provider - does he have a window of drop off and pick ups? Then the texts would make sense.
Most of my parents are very good about getting their kids and going. If they were not I would deal with it on the individual basis.
Maybe because I still have the old fashioned cell phone, I am not someone who texts and would be annoyed if it were one more thing I had to check.

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Cell phones don't work in my house We live in a dead zone. I do ask parents to give me a heads up if they are going to be outside their normal time frame. If a child is over 20 min late for drop off, I will call to check on them. But, my parents are pretty good about letting me know if they are running late.

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It seems "off" to me because the OP hasn't shared any other information as to whether his kids are having a tough time during the transition of drop offs/pick ups and/or if the family is arriving at random times.

I completely understand PP's reasoning for requiring calls/texts from parents but it doesn't make sense to me to just require it just because....

Unless there were other mitigating factors....kwim?

A provider NOT allowing a parent to enter the house and seemingly "pushing" them out the door so quickly would be a red flag to me.

The OP would have to supply more details though to know the exact situation.

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I gotchya

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The only communication I require as far as drop-offs go is if you are going to be later than normal. I will have parents that usually bring their child for breakfast be running late and they are courteous enough to let me know so I don't prepare a plate for them that gets wasted.

I also have parents who give me a general time frame of when they'll be picking up if it is earlier than our typical pick-up time. I try to have their child ready/almost ready to go at that point in time.

All of the children are picked up between a 20 minute window at the end of the day (unless they are contracted for the extra hour of care) and we ALL go to the gated off entryway, put shoes on, get ready to go, and sit and read books together. I don't require a text because I know that all parents will be coming in this 20 minute time frame. I prefer to have the child ready to go so pick-ups are short. They're only over 1 minute in length if the parent has something to say to me and I have no issue with correcting a child if the parent won't. I PREFER to not have to and this is why I make sure the child is ready to go, but it does happen.

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I know everyone runs their business different but if I was a parent then yes I would wonder why I HAD to call or text first. To many times you hear of providers doing things like Way over capacity and you say didn't the parents see all those children.... No because they never saw them they had to text they were coming or wait at the door.

so while it works for lots of providers I would not take my child there unless they told me Why and also let me come in to where the children are

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I guess I should add that one of my clients doesn't text. She always shows up within 5 minutes of her scheduled time and is the first arrival so I don't have to worry about the kids being so noisy I won't hear the door. She picks up right before lunch time so she's my first pick up and in the summer just comes to the yard where we are playing and in the winter she just comes in and gets her child ready. She's my best and most responsible client though and is very reliable on her times.
I get a majority of young clients and college students because I live so close to the university and so I often have kids arriving and leaving at all different times, I remember I once had so many arrivals/departures it took an entire page of a notebook each day for me to write down my schedule! Now I'm open 7:30-3:30 and all but one of my clients drop of between 7:50-9 am and pick up between 3-3:30 since I charge the same rate no matter what the hours are.
I haven't had a crazy schedule like that in a while since I stopped taking school agers and babies but I think that's when I first started implementing it.
I've never really thought about it from a parents perspective before because no one has seemed concerned but if i had a provider and she asked me to text it would throw up some red flags for me, not sure why it doesn't do that for my clients. Now I don't require parents to do it but tell them that if they would like me to have their child ready to go at pick up to send me a text and I will meet them at the door. Maybe that's why no one has a problem with it here.
There are plenty of times throughout the year that clients don't text, maybe it's on accident but it could be on purpose I guess.
I also explain that we have at least 4 unannounced visits a year from the state/food program. Maybe that puts their minds at ease. I also have a private Facebook group just for current clients where I post a ton of photos throughout the day, welcome new clients and post information so all of my clients can see their children having fun and who their friends are. If a provider just told me I had to text and I never got to see where my child was and what they were doing all day I would definitely have a problem with it. I agree with previous posters that if your children seem happy with her and you're happy with her just ask about the policy.

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