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cherryhill 09:01 AM 10-21-2010
Have any of you every had a kid dropped off dirty? I have this one daycare girl that the parents I am sure not taking her baths. She has had this ink mark on her upper thigh since Monday. Today she has on the same clothes as yesterday, and this is not the first time. I just gave her a bath and put her on my daughters clothes because I did not want to touch her.
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Lilbutterflie 09:11 AM 10-21-2010
I haven't really had a problem with them being dropped off dirty, but when I was watching my nephew there would be at least 2 days out of the week he would come in the same clothes he wore the previous day! It was b/c his dad was in charge of getting all of the kids ready in the morning, and he would use the excuse of "He got himself dressed this morning. I didn't notice it was the same clothes." He was 4, which is the appropriate age to dress himself; but still! Be a parent here! When my SIL would pick him up and see the clothes he was wearing, she would always be sooo mad!
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My Daycare 09:13 AM 10-21-2010
One time yes. I had 2 brothers that would smell like pee. Even their extra change of clothes smelled like it. I felt bad because like you I did not want to touch them. Did you get the ink mark off in the bath? Sometimes those can stick around, but considering she has on the same clothes she probably did not have a bath.

The only reason I ask about the ink mark is that sometimes my kids will get something on them that just won't come off. For example, my son has had red in his hair now for 3 weeks. It was crazy hair day at school, I sprayed it in and it just won't come out. The same spray comes out of the rest of my families hair. I just didn't know, it would stain his white blond hair. I wonder sometimes if the preschool thinks that I don't bathe him enough.
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cherryhill 09:30 AM 10-21-2010
Hello Ladies,

Yes the dad does dress her that is probably the problem...he probably has not clue. The ink did come off of her thigh when I took her a bath. I feel bad because she always wants me to hold her and I do but I don't want to because I feel she is dirty.

Some of the things she wears looks dingy with pellets on tights and sweats they are so disgusting they need to be burned.
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laundryduchess@yahoo.com 09:34 AM 10-21-2010
are the parents this way also? is there a money or water service issue? or are the parents well groomed and just not grooming their kids?
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MommyMuffin 09:40 AM 10-21-2010
I have no advice but this is so sad. Thrift stores and garage sales have plenty of nice clothes! I dont know what I would say to the parents...maybe say she spilled something on them and they need to be washed??
I'm not saying you should but I knwo what I would do is wash her clothes myself. Even though it isnt my job, its just another way I can bless someone else..them or their child, for whatever reason they are not.
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cherryhill 10:24 AM 10-21-2010
Originally Posted by laundryduchess@yahoo.com:
are the parents this way also? is there a money or water service issue? or are the parents well groomed and just not grooming their kids?

The mom looks nice the dad is a mess. I just figure they think because she is going to a home daycare it doesn't matter how she looks. she has even worn dirty socks here

I don't think they have money problems, both parents work they pay on time never complain about paying for days she is not here or holidays.

Sometimes I think parents get so caught up in their life they don't make time for their children she is a bit of a hard one to handle, cries a lot, hits bites, starving for attention.
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marniewon 10:30 AM 10-21-2010
Before I got licensed I was watching a family of 4 kids at their home. The home was disgustingly filthy - food everywhere, dirty and clean clothes all over the floor, floor nasty, etc. Add to that the kids were always sick - runny, snotty noses all the time, green snot crusted on their faces, etc. So one day I go over there and the youngest boy (18 mos) was in bed for afternoon nap. He got up shortly after and he comes out in only a diaper (it was December in MI, and very cold in the house, and he was just a little guy), crusted everywhere with snot, and holding a pb sandwhich smushed in his little hand. He was so disgusting that I didn't want to touch him, but I felt so sorry for him! I gave him a bath, to warm him and clean him without having to scrub him, but couldn't find a clean towel or clean clothes to put on him!! Of course, it was dad who took care of the kids in the mornings - mom worked full time and went to school full time and just didn't have time to do everything. Dad worked full time, but certainly could have picked up a vacuum once in a while, or throw a load of wash in the washer!!
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DBug 10:41 AM 10-21-2010
I have a full-timer with this issue too. I make a game every week of counting how many days he has on the same shirt and/or pants, and whether they've been washed. My running tally was four days with the same dried food stain he got from spilling lunch on Monday . Thing is, he has awesome parents. They love him to bits, they make good money, they always pay on time, they bring random gift cards to thank me for doing a good job, if one has a day off, they keep him home and still pay, etc., etc. I think clean clothes or even wearing different clothes each day, just may not be that important to them. And really, wearing clean or different clothes each day is a cultural standard that really isn't that important in the grand scheme of things. Same as bathing every day. For years and years, my own 3 kids got baths every night. Then I realized that they weren't actually dirty every day, so we cut it down a bit. Now, as they get older, of course we'll have to go to daily showers (as they approach the ripe teenage years), but in the meantime, we're saving a TON of money by bathing them only when they actually need it.

Point is, how are these parents in other areas? Are they "good" parents in other ways?
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kidkair 12:09 PM 10-21-2010
I would tell the parents that if they do not clean her and put her in clean clothes that you will be contacting social services and reporting neglect. Then if she shows up dirty again call and report them. Her not being clean could mean that there is more going on at home than you know and maybe they need the help of social services.
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AfterSchoolMom 12:20 PM 10-21-2010
I wouldn't mind it as long as they aren't dirty, but if the clothes have food stains and are crusty? Gross.


Not to threadjack, but do parents ever get upset by a dcp bathing their child w/o permission? I know it's not much different than changing a diaper, but I also know how paranoid some parents can be... Not trying to stir up trouble, just curious.
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DanceMom 12:44 PM 10-21-2010
I have one girl that comes stinky and has dirty clothes on a lot..her mom claims she is too busy to get the laundry done.
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QualiTcare 04:29 AM 10-22-2010
Originally Posted by DBug:
I have a full-timer with this issue too. I make a game every week of counting how many days he has on the same shirt and/or pants, and whether they've been washed. My running tally was four days with the same dried food stain he got from spilling lunch on Monday . Thing is, he has awesome parents. They love him to bits, they make good money, they always pay on time, they bring random gift cards to thank me for doing a good job, if one has a day off, they keep him home and still pay, etc., etc. I think clean clothes or even wearing different clothes each day, just may not be that important to them. And really, wearing clean or different clothes each day is a cultural standard that really isn't that important in the grand scheme of things. Same as bathing every day. For years and years, my own 3 kids got baths every night. Then I realized that they weren't actually dirty every day, so we cut it down a bit. Now, as they get older, of course we'll have to go to daily showers (as they approach the ripe teenage years), but in the meantime, we're saving a TON of money by bathing them only when they actually need it.

Point is, how are these parents in other areas? Are they "good" parents in other ways?
i love friday night because my kids don't have school on saturday and i don't feel like messing with bathtime! there's nothing wrong with skipping a bath if a kid's not dirty - like if they fell asleep before you got them in there or WHATEVER. i do find it odd though when kids wear the same clothes. i'm a nut about clothes - so much that i find new ones they never wore before they outgrew them and there are clothes in every room of the house. but i knew a dc family once whose son always wore the same clothes! he was clean and his clothes seemed clean - and they made PLENTY of money - way more than me, but he would wear the same damn 2-3 outfits OVER and OVER and OVER. i just thought it was super weird. then again, i thought - my laundry and clothing situation might not be such a nightmare if i weren't a clothes hoarder and could just get rid of them all except 2-3 outfits like this guy!
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QualiTcare 04:32 AM 10-22-2010
Originally Posted by My Daycare:
One time yes. I had 2 brothers that would smell like pee. Even their extra change of clothes smelled like it. I felt bad because like you I did not want to touch them. Did you get the ink mark off in the bath? Sometimes those can stick around, but considering she has on the same clothes she probably did not have a bath.

The only reason I ask about the ink mark is that sometimes my kids will get something on them that just won't come off. For example, my son has had red in his hair now for 3 weeks. It was crazy hair day at school, I sprayed it in and it just won't come out. The same spray comes out of the rest of my families hair. I just didn't know, it would stain his white blond hair. I wonder sometimes if the preschool thinks that I don't bathe him enough.
you're right about the ink. i've had to tell my kid's daycare teachers before, "i gave them a bath, but that ink will NOT come off!" just bc i knew they'd wonder like this poster is wondering. same thing with temporary tattoos - UGH! i hate those things cus i know ppl have to think my kids don't bathe, but i still stick 'em on there every time.
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TTOTS 04:41 AM 10-22-2010
I have 2 boys (brothers) that have not had a bath in a week. The mom goes and gets her hair done regularly and is always buying herself new clothes. These boys come in dirty and in clothes either way too big or way too small. The youngest he's 3 1/2 has had the same ewwy messy gunk in his ears for over a week. I finally asked him yesterday if he had a bath last night. He said not since our pumpkin trip. That was on the 15th. The older boy 4 1/2 came in with clothes on that was small enough to fit a newborn. I said I don't want to see those clothes on him again, he looks like an orphan child. Mom said well they dress themselves. I said that's all fine and dandy, but hey ya know what SUPERVISE them! So if they come in today without a bath I am clearly gonna say something to the mom. Good luck with yours.
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BentleysBands 04:48 AM 10-22-2010
i've had this issue before years ago..thankfully i terminated them (for another reason)....since then i stress to parents at interview and its in my handbook that all children must be dressed appropriately and clean, including diaper. if child poops in the car before arrival parent must stay and change before leaving. i cant keep dirty gross kids, whatever the reason. cleanliness is not hard. its lazy parenting
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MN Mom 05:22 AM 10-22-2010
Bathing is very important, but I'm not a fanatic. Every day for my 11 year old and every other day for the rest. (They fight me tooth and nail right now because we do not have a tub currently only a shower, bathroom under contstruction). My 4yo son will often hop in the shower with his older sister, regardless of the every other day thing. He loves playing in the shower. However....alot of times he will (even after I get clean clothes out) dig thru the dirty laundry to find his "special shirt". I think it's a boy thing, my girls never insisted on wearing a certain shirt over and over.
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momofsix 05:27 AM 10-22-2010
http://www.thefamilygp.com/bathing-b...their-skin.htm
I totally agree with DBug. And if they are good parents in every other way, I don't see it as a big problem.
Pediatricians do not recommend bathing every day at all, only 2-3 times per week! (see link)
And threatening to call social services over something like this is not realistic nor warranted. You could call, but they have much more legitimate things to deal with and are already backlogged with serious neglect/abuse cases.
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boysx5 06:12 AM 10-22-2010
oh that would gross me out. A bar of soap and clean clothes won't break the bank you can buy cheap clothes soap and bar soap and still look nice. Second hand clothes work well also
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missnikki 06:33 AM 10-22-2010
Not to threadjack-
I had this issue yesterday with an 8th grade girl (12 yo) who sat about 6-7 feet away from me and OH BOY, the funk was to unbearable. I had some spray deodorant in my desk, and I offered it discreetly to her saying, "If you want, you can borrow some of this. It's always in this drawer if you ever want some, help yourself."
This morning, her mom dropped her off, and asked to see me privately. She chewed me out for embarassing her daughter. PUH-LEASE. I told her that there was only 2 other kids in the room and if she were embarassed about that, she would have been more embarassed about going out in public with her 'situation' as it were. I was only trying to help. This is the same mom who's daughter does no evil ever, and only tells the whole truth no matter what, every time. ARRRGH.
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AfterSchoolMom 06:54 AM 10-22-2010
I've had to start my oldest on wearing deodorant. He HATES it and it's a daily battle, but oh man is he funky without it! That's the thing, though - I'm the grownup and I make him bathe and wear deodorant and clean clothes everyday. I don't understand parents who just say "oh well, they dressed themselves" or "they fight me over bathtime". They're smaller than you, make them do what they should!

We don't do baths every single day all the time either, but we only skip a night 1-2 times per week, and only if they haven't been playing outside or sweating.
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misol 07:46 AM 10-22-2010
Originally Posted by BentleysBands:
i've had this issue before years ago..thankfully i terminated them (for another reason)....since then i stress to parents at interview and its in my handbook that all children must be dressed appropriately and clean, including diaper. if child poops in the car before arrival parent must stay and change before leaving. i cant keep dirty gross kids, whatever the reason. cleanliness is not hard. its lazy parenting
I can't do dirty kids either. Luckily, all of my parents have kept their kids very clean so I've never had an issue with this. Like you, I also have in my handbook that children need to arrive each day clean and fully dressed in weather appropriate clothing. If it ever became a problem, I would send out a notice to parents to review the hygiene section in their handbook. I don't mind changing a dirty diaper if a child poops in the car on the way to my house. I WOULD have a problem with changing a super full diaper that hasn't been changed since the night before though! It's easy to tell if the diaper was soiled on the ride over or if they've been in that diaper since the night before. Yuck.

Originally Posted by AfterSchoolMom:
We don't do baths every single day all the time either, but we only skip a night 1-2 times per week, and only if they haven't been playing outside or sweating.
I bathe my kids every other night unless we've done something that day that has caused them to get extra dirty or sweaty. I also bathe them on the "off night" if they have been around someone who is sick.
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kidkair 11:57 AM 10-22-2010
Originally Posted by momofsix:
http://www.thefamilygp.com/bathing-b...their-skin.htm
I totally agree with DBug. And if they are good parents in every other way, I don't see it as a big problem.
Pediatricians do not recommend bathing every day at all, only 2-3 times per week! (see link)
And threatening to call social services over something like this is not realistic nor warranted. You could call, but they have much more legitimate things to deal with and are already backlogged with serious neglect/abuse cases.
Not bathing everyday is fine but if a child stinks so much that their caregiver doesn't want to hug them the kid is being neglected and the parents should be reported! I reported one of my families and it was the best thing every for them because they got the help they needed.
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melissa ann 03:43 PM 10-22-2010
I bathe my kids every other night. In the summer, it might be everyday depending on how hot the day was, or if in a pool. My 3 1/2 yr old son, loves his SpiderMan shirt and would wear it everyday. If it's not stained or anything, I will let him wear it again, or at least under another shirt. On the off nights, I do go over their faces, tushies, and hands. My daughter hasn't asked to wear anything that was in the laundry basket, so it may just be a boy thing as mentioned before. Too me it's not a big deal. There are biggier issues out there than that. I have dad dcks come with the same outfit 2 days in a row, but the kids seemed cleaned.
Yesterday my son didn't nap but fell asleep at 6pm and stayed asleep all night. It was also bath night. I wasn't going to wake him up to bathe. I washed him down this morning when he got up.
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momofsix 06:36 AM 10-23-2010
Originally Posted by cherryhill:
Have any of you every had a kid dropped off dirty? I have this one daycare girl that the parents I am sure not taking her baths. She has had this ink mark on her upper thigh since Monday. Today she has on the same clothes as yesterday, and this is not the first time. I just gave her a bath and put her on my daughters clothes because I did not want to touch her.
Kidkair, nowhere in the original post does she say anything about the child stinking so much she can't hold her! She says she "feels" she is dirty...pellets on tights. (by the way, tights get pellets from being old, not just dirty, so it could be that too) I'm glad you were able to help out a family by calling ss.
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QualiTcare 12:26 PM 10-23-2010
Originally Posted by momofsix:
Kidkair, nowhere in the original post does she say anything about the child stinking so much she can't hold her! She says she "feels" she is dirty...pellets on tights. (by the way, tights get pellets from being old, not just dirty, so it could be that too) I'm glad you were able to help out a family by calling ss.
well, she didn't say she can't hold her - but she did say she doesn't want to TOUCH her which is worse.
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cherryhill 06:50 AM 10-24-2010
The little girl does smell her hair smells, and her clothes smell. When I took her a bath the ink mark came right off without scrubbing the last time she had a ink mark on her for days, I wiped it with a wipe and it came of. The dcg is only 21 months we usually go outside everyday to the park and she likes to play in the dirt so she probably needs a bath almost everyday. Honestly I believe the mom is overwhelmed and does not have much help from the dad. I think there house is probably crazy and clean clothes are mixed with dirty clothes.

This family lives close to me and I sometimes see the dad when we are at the park, he will wave, honk the horn, and yell the dcg name she will never acknowledge him she will look at him like she does not even know him. If he picks her up she will scream, so needless to say he doesn't pick her up anymore.
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My4SunshineGirlsNY 04:47 PM 10-24-2010
I had a family like this 10 years ago..the little girl was a little over a year and her hair was never combed, her bangs were in her face, the diaper bag smelled like a dirty home, as well as her clothes that she was wearing. She was such a cute little girl but the parents made her look aweful by not grooming her and putting her in raggy clothes. I felt bad for her and would give her a bath myslef because I couldn't stand to see her like that, epecially when it was summer and she LOVED my sandbox. Back then I didn't do child care as a profession, I just started doing it to be home with my kids and have a little extra

I don't understand some people, I buy some of my kids clothes at the Salvation Army and have picked up some very nice things for very cheap. I live in a small town and there are so many kids I see that looked less than cared for with ratty clothes..most of them with parents that look the same way. Makes me sad for the kids..they only know what they are taught.
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momofsix 04:53 PM 10-24-2010
Originally Posted by cherryhill:
The little girl does smell her hair smells, and her clothes smell. When I took her a bath the ink mark came right off without scrubbing the last time she had a ink mark on her for days, I wiped it with a wipe and it came of. The dcg is only 21 months we usually go outside everyday to the park and she likes to play in the dirt so she probably needs a bath almost everyday. Honestly I believe the mom is overwhelmed and does not have much help from the dad. I think there house is probably crazy and clean clothes are mixed with dirty clothes.

This family lives close to me and I sometimes see the dad when we are at the park, he will wave, honk the horn, and yell the dcg name she will never acknowledge him she will look at him like she does not even know him. If he picks her up she will scream, so needless to say he doesn't pick her up anymore.
That is so sad. Do they have pets at home that could be adding to the smell?
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