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  #1  
Old 06-11-2013, 07:40 AM
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Default Biting

I've asked on here before about biting...well today 'Jaws' got the one kid that has a drs. appt. today for usual check up/shots, two times! When biten boys Mom came i was /am so upset I cried/ing thank goodness she is the ONE that gets biting happens but I am not anymore. Have any of you really bitten the biter back? I'm almost to that place or to get biter boy to bite himself; how do I do that? Terming is not the answer I have his sib(SA). this kid has almost all teeth at 18 months has a paci on a leash at all times a blankie and stuffed puppy....not hungry or tired. I'm hoping that the almost 3 wks these two will be apart will do the trick(got 3 more days till that happens). Biter does go after the others but I guess male arms and legs are tastier than female. I called biter boys Dad and told him how annoyed I was that I put him in the high chair (for the time being)....even though Dad asked if he should pick up there isn't any sickness....so now that I have up my two extra high gates biter gets to be alone with not alot of toys.Help!Thanks
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Old 06-11-2013, 08:18 AM
Willow Willow is offline
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You cannot bite the children in your care.

I don't know how you'd get him to bite himself but that doesn't sound like a good idea either.

Patents need to step it up at home and you need to keep him better supervised so he can't get to the other kids like that anymore.
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  #3  
Old 06-11-2013, 08:27 AM
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OMG.....I cannot believe you are seriously even SUGGESTING biting him back.

If it is THAT frustrating for you, that you are considering resorting to what would be considered abusive practices, you need to term the biter.

I understand your frustration....really, I do....but it is NEVER okay to consider biting a child....and it wouldn't help anyway.
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Old 06-11-2013, 08:45 AM
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My daughter was the resident biter in her daycare. I was so upset- every afternoon I was getting an incident report. She managed to bite three times in one day. What worked for us was giving her a teether. Staff also had to be right on her at all times. She was about 1 1/2 at the time- after a few months she grew it out of it and it was another kid's turn. I couldn't even get mad the few times she got bit.
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Old 06-11-2013, 09:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sly red cid View Post
I've asked on here before about biting...well today 'Jaws' got the one kid that has a drs. appt. today for usual check up/shots, two times! When biten boys Mom came i was /am so upset I cried/ing thank goodness she is the ONE that gets biting happens but I am not anymore. Have any of you really bitten the biter back? I'm almost to that place or to get biter boy to bite himself; how do I do that? Terming is not the answer I have his sib(SA). this kid has almost all teeth at 18 months has a paci on a leash at all times a blankie and stuffed puppy....not hungry or tired. I'm hoping that the almost 3 wks these two will be apart will do the trick(got 3 more days till that happens). Biter does go after the others but I guess male arms and legs are tastier than female. I called biter boys Dad and told him how annoyed I was that I put him in the high chair (for the time being)....even though Dad asked if he should pick up there isn't any sickness....so now that I have up my two extra high gates biter gets to be alone with not alot of toys.Help!Thanks
Ahhh, hugs. I know the feeling.

No, no way can you bite him. You could get cited for abuse. As far as biting himself my grandson DID bite himself pretty much if there wasn't anyone else around for him to bite. It didn't phase him. He didn't 'remember' that it hurt the next time he tried it so that wouldn't work anyway.

Put the child who is being bitten in long sleeves and long pants. Turn the air conditioning colder if necessary to keep child comfortable if it is hot. The children who are bitten need to be protected as much as possible.

The other thing is just not to have him around the other children as much as humanly possible. That might mean to keep him a high chair with activities at times or alone like you have him with toys (as long as you can see him). If you think he is still cutting a tooth, see if the parents would let you put some teething lotion on his gums.

Mine was biting out of frustration like when someone took his toy or bugged him. If I saw him getting the least bit frustrated I'd be there. Even if he wasn't frustrated I'd be there when he was near another child. Very hard but necessary. When I needed a break from being a 'helicopter' I'd put him in his bed for a stress break....for me. Just 10 or 15 minutes or in his high chair. He was a sleeper anyway so didn't cry.

Hope this gets better. Hang in there it IS rough. Sorry you have to go through this.

Laurel
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  #6  
Old 06-11-2013, 10:50 AM
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I used to have that child! I had a dcb who started here at 18 months. He would bite almost daily-sometimes leaving a mark, sometimes not and I thought it would never end! I did tons and tons of redirecting, shadowing, and also showing nice touches (he was a hitter and hair puller too)! I also let him have his pacifier, it seemed to curb the biting and he had them all the time at home anyways. A frozen teether helped too. I was very frustrated and was close to terming, but didn't term him because I thought he would grow out of it, and he did! He is now 20 months-almost 21- and has only tried to bite twice in the last month and the two attempts could have been severe, but I only found slobber, so maybe it was kisses instead.?
Now this little guy is my tornado! He traded biting for being a little stinker and n-e-v-e-r slows down!
I wouldn't bite him back! You could lose your job and it may be considered child abuse. I know how frustrating it can be, but I would either shadow him as much as possible and work with him or term. Good luck!
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  #7  
Old 06-11-2013, 10:53 AM
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If you are to the point where you are considering BITING a child, it is time to term immediately.
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  #8  
Old 06-11-2013, 10:58 AM
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Are you suggesting biting him because someone else gave you that advice on another thread? I read recently a thread where someone suggested this. BAD ADVICE!! Not only is it child abuse, what does it teach the 18 month old? That adults bite, too. So biting must be okay.

I would terminate if you are getting so frustrated. It sounds very, very challenging. At this point, the biter might need one-on-one care, which you are unable to provide. A nanny would be a better solution for that family.
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  #9  
Old 06-11-2013, 11:09 AM
Willow Willow is offline
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No one has ever suggested a provider bite a child in their care anywhere I've seen on the forum.

If they had they had the thread would have been BLAZING.
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  #10  
Old 06-11-2013, 11:17 AM
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No, I swear, I just saw it. Let me go back and try to find it. I read it last night.
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  #11  
Old 06-11-2013, 11:20 AM
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Found it! Okay, so Willow, you suggested the MOM bite the biter on another thread. I read that as the provider bites the biter. I wonder if any other person will read that and think it's potentially okay to bite the biter? I really hope not.
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  #12  
Old 06-11-2013, 11:34 AM
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YOU do not bite him ever! Nor do you attempt to force him to bite himself!

If you are unable to prevent him from hurting the other children in care then you should let the child go. If you keep him just for the money you will risk the other parents in your care leaving.
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  #13  
Old 06-11-2013, 11:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by preschoolteacher View Post
Found it! Okay, so Willow, you suggested the MOM bite the biter on another thread. I read that as the provider bites the biter. I wonder if any other person will read that and think it's potentially okay to bite the biter? I really hope not.
I don't see how anyone would read the word "mom" as the word "provider" any more than they could also read it as "president" or "construction worker."

I think the likelihood of someone else making the same reading mistake is very low.
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  #14  
Old 06-11-2013, 11:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by preschoolteacher View Post
Found it! Okay, so Willow, you suggested the MOM bite the biter on another thread. I read that as the provider bites the biter. I wonder if any other person will read that and think it's potentially okay to bite the biter? I really hope not.
I saw that thread and while I did not mistake parent for provider, I do know there are people who think "the parents do it so I can too"

But OP, yeah, it's time to let "jaws" go. Parents are understanding for little bit, but not if it keeps happening.
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  #15  
Old 06-11-2013, 12:06 PM
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There was a thread a few days ago where a provider said that the parent must not have bitten the child hard enough if the child was still biting. I thought the thread would go crazy condemning that but it didn't... Maybe that is where OP got the idea??

Edit- Oops! While I was looking up that post others posted the same thing.
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  #16  
Old 06-11-2013, 12:26 PM
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Just curious for all who believe the other thread is going to be a GIANT catalyst condoning providers start going around biting children in their care.......have you never had a parent ask you to spank, humiliate, give soap, slap fingers etc etc? And when those exact scenarios are discussed here does everyone start assuming that -omg! Someone said the words so now we're all in danger of falling prey to taking actions we've been trained to know aren't acceptable by law??

I'm sorry but that is so beyond silly.

It's also sort of a slap in the face to the OP to assume that just because she read something somewhere about what a parent could do, that that would automatically inspire her to do something unlawful.

I'm sure she has her own brain and it functions just fine independently of what she reads or sees on the tv. It's obvious she thought it may be an available last resort for her own reasons, and was corrected.

Please stop assuming she is so easily influenced by a single sentence on the internet that just so happened to be misread by one other person.
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  #17  
Old 06-11-2013, 12:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Willow View Post
Just curious for all who believe the other thread is going to be a GIANT catalyst condoning providers start going around biting children in their care.......have you never had a parent ask you to spank, humiliate, give soap, slap fingers etc etc? And when those exact scenarios are discussed here does everyone start assuming that -omg! Someone said the words so now we're all in danger of falling prey to taking actions we've been trained to know aren't acceptable by law??

I'm sorry but that is so beyond silly.

It's also sort of a slap in the face to the OP to assume that just because she read something somewhere about what a parent could do, that that would automatically inspire her to do something unlawful.

I'm sure she has her own brain and it functions just fine independently of what she reads or sees on the tv. It's obvious she thought it may be an available last resort for her own reasons, and was corrected.

Please stop assuming she is so easily influenced by a single sentence on the internet that just so happened to be misread by one other person.
No, I didn't think the other post would be a "catalyst condoning providers start going around biting children in their care".

I DID think that there would be an outcry against a DCP posting that a parent should bite a child harder!

I understand that parents will parent how they want, and yes I have had parents say I can spank their child (which I responded that I could not and would not ever do that). BUT- To me it wasn't a very far leap from "Oh, this DCP posted that a parent should bite their child harder so they will learn their lesson" and "Oh, this DCP worked it so child could bite themselves and learn their lesson" to "Oh, maybe I should bite the child myself to teach them a lesson."

As far as I have read the OP hasn't said yet why she thought she should bite the child. When/if she does then we will know!
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Old 06-11-2013, 12:43 PM
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Originally Posted by JoseyJo View Post
No, I didn't think the other post would be a "catalyst condoning providers start going around biting children in their care".

I DID think that there would be an outcry against a DCP posting that a parent should bite a child harder!

I understand that parents will parent how they want, and yes I have had parents say I can spank their child (which I responded that I could not and would not ever do that). BUT- To me it wasn't a very far leap from "Oh, this DCP posted that a parent should bite their child harder so they will learn their lesson" and "Oh, this DCP worked it so child could bite themselves and learn their lesson" to "Oh, maybe I should bite the child myself to teach them a lesson."

As far as I have read the OP hasn't said yet why she thought she should bite the child. When/if she does then we will know!
We had a provider in our town who was very highly thought of. Always full, with a wait list. I have two of her former dc kids. Apparently she would have the other kids do back whatever was done and if they couldn't, she did. My one dc boy stepped on another child - he claims it was an accident - and because the other child was too small to step on him, she did it for him. Another time she had my dc boy bite another child back...I agree that for the most part people are smart enough to understand the difference between what is allowed as a parent and what is allowed as a provider. But not everyone.
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  #19  
Old 06-11-2013, 01:13 PM
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When it comes to physical aggression I am a firm believer that pairing them up will solve the problem.

Will I actively encourage it? If it were my kids, and in many different situations, yes. If someone clocks my son on the bus you bet I'm going to tell him to stick up for himself and clock the bully back. Why? Because 9 times out of 10 it'll work to curb an aggressor.

It's human behavior 101 and yes, even one year olds can easily grasp the concept. If I bite I'll get bitten or smacked in a pained panic back....so maybe I shouldn't do that anymore! I wouldn't get involved in any physical back and forth but absolutely believe kids can learn best from each other when you get to talking biting specifically.

I don't think it's developmental and I do believe parents and providers alike use that crutch as an excuse to let it continue on far longer than it should.
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Old 06-11-2013, 02:26 PM
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Originally Posted by preschoolteacher View Post
Are you suggesting biting him because someone else gave you that advice on another thread? I read recently a thread where someone suggested this. BAD ADVICE!! Not only is it child abuse, what does it teach the 18 month old? That adults bite, too. So biting must be okay.
Here is the actual quote from the poster that suggested the child get bitten back.

Quote:
Call me crazy, old school, cruel or whatever but I'd tell mom to take him home and if he bit her or anyone else again she should bite him the heck back.

And hard.

Maybe invite the cousins over and set him up to knock out a few eye for an eye lessons asap.


I've never seen a biter that finally got a taste of his own medicine bite much beyond that.
Now, I have to say, that in hindsight when reading this thread I too, thought of the previous thread (with the above quote) and did remember that someone suggested the child be bitten back.

I did not recall at the time who said it but I did remember that the poster suggested that the provider have the MOM bite her child back at home.

So, yes I too, thought perhaps OP in this thread was hinting at biting the child back because someone had suggested that previously.

I personally have no advice as I have been lucky enough to never have had to deal with a biter but I also think that biting a child back (regardless of WHO does the actual biting) is not at all something I would ever condone, suggest or accept as a solution to this situation.

I guess if I did have a biter in care, I would keep them separated AT ALL TIMES and never allow them outside of my direct line of vision so that they did not become a liability to anyone.

If I exhausted all efforts to curb the biting with no luck, I would ultimately have to term them as I am not equipped to deal with ONE child at the risk of giving the other children less care nor would I be willing to continue allowing ONE child to be a threat to others in any capacity.
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Old 06-11-2013, 03:50 PM
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I'm the one who had the earlier thread about biting. I got some great information today, so I'll share it.

One of my dcb is in the early intervention program. He has some under-sensitivity issues, so we do a lot of touching, massaging, rubbing, and joint compression to help him focus on what is happening around him. He is the target of my biter, so I talked to his therapist about it today. She said that at this age, they are so full of the "newness" of the world around them that their nerves are almost bouncing off the wall. It's like they need some of the same focus processes that my dcb needs. Biter was sitting near her while we talked, and she reached over and was doing some minor joint compressions, massaging his joints, etc, just casually. She stopped and he moved closer and wanted more. In minutes, he was so relaxed that he fell asleep, mid morning, before lunch, and after an early morning nap. It was amazing! The touches release a chemical in their body that relaxes the tension in them. I can't remember exactly how she explained it, but it helps DCB focus on his surroundings and it seemed to help biter focus on other outlets for his frenzy.

She said it would help the 2 year old with some of her tantrums if she was having the kind of day that seemed to lead to frequent tantrums.

I'm going to start lining them up and do the exercises as an assembly line!!
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Old 06-11-2013, 04:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Sunchimes View Post
I'm the one who had the earlier thread about biting. I got some great information today, so I'll share it.

One of my dcb is in the early intervention program. He has some under-sensitivity issues, so we do a lot of touching, massaging, rubbing, and joint compression to help him focus on what is happening around him. He is the target of my biter, so I talked to his therapist about it today. She said that at this age, they are so full of the "newness" of the world around them that their nerves are almost bouncing off the wall. It's like they need some of the same focus processes that my dcb needs. Biter was sitting near her while we talked, and she reached over and was doing some minor joint compressions, massaging his joints, etc, just casually. She stopped and he moved closer and wanted more. In minutes, he was so relaxed that he fell asleep, mid morning, before lunch, and after an early morning nap. It was amazing! The touches release a chemical in their body that relaxes the tension in them. I can't remember exactly how she explained it, but it helps DCB focus on his surroundings and it seemed to help biter focus on other outlets for his frenzy.

She said it would help the 2 year old with some of her tantrums if she was having the kind of day that seemed to lead to frequent tantrums.

I'm going to start lining them up and do the exercises as an assembly line!!


This is awesome! Would you happen to know what I can google to get ahold of more information about this? Like is there a specific name for it?
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  #23  
Old 06-11-2013, 04:51 PM
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Here is the first thing I found when I googled. I don't do anything like the first video (squishies), ours are much more gentle--exactly like the second video (joint compression demonstration). http://sensoryandmore.com/2011/08/11...-compressions/

The message is just a firm stroking of their legs, feet, and arms. The therapist was just casually doing it, nothing that appeared like formal therapy. At one point, she rubbed his chest and his shoulders.
http://voices.yahoo.com/calming-acti...-10929050.html
We also do the blanket taco swaddling. It's become a game and all of the kids love to be the hot dog or the taco, depending on what we are playing that day. I use a flannel baby blanket. She brought a nylon parachute today and he hated it.

She comes back on Friday. I'll ask her then for some links to more information.

Last edited by Sunchimes; 06-11-2013 at 04:53 PM. Reason: forgot to add links
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