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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Need Boundaries Letter For DCM
LittleD 10:48 AM 10-17-2012
I'm moving my daycare back into my home (from the basement)
Most of my DCF's have been here long enough they were with me when I started upstairs. But this one mom just started, and I'm worried she will treat my home like she treated the basement. To clarify, my basement is actually an apartment, open concept and not used by my family, just for daycare.
She has come in wearing her shoes on my carpet (had to tell her 3 times not to do it before she listened) goes into the fridge to put her child's bottles/food, uses the bathroom without asking, going into the sleep room if she shows up unexpectedly early to get her child up from nap. I didn't mind these things before, because it wasn't my 'home'. Now I have nightmares thinking of her roaming around in my house, and call me crazy, but I really don't like it! Especially using the bathroom.
I have this thing about sharing a toilet with people who aren't family 
So how can I write her letter without sounding, I don't know, rude?
Most of my DCF's have been here long enough they were with me when I started upstairs. But this one mom just started, and I'm worried she will treat my home like she treated the basement. To clarify, my basement is actually an apartment, open concept and not used by my family, just for daycare.
She has come in wearing her shoes on my carpet (had to tell her 3 times not to do it before she listened) goes into the fridge to put her child's bottles/food, uses the bathroom without asking, going into the sleep room if she shows up unexpectedly early to get her child up from nap. I didn't mind these things before, because it wasn't my 'home'. Now I have nightmares thinking of her roaming around in my house, and call me crazy, but I really don't like it! Especially using the bathroom.
I have this thing about sharing a toilet with people who aren't family So how can I write her letter without sounding, I don't know, rude?
bunnyslippers 10:55 AM 10-17-2012
I would write a general letter to all of the parents...don't single her out.
Dear Parents,
As you all know, we will be moving the child care back into my family's residence. Please make note of the following policies:
*list your policies
Thanks for respecting my family's home and our need for privacy. It will be a transition for everyone, but I know it will be a positive experience for everybody. I appreciate the respect you all show both me and my home each day.
Dear Parents,
As you all know, we will be moving the child care back into my family's residence. Please make note of the following policies:
*list your policies
Thanks for respecting my family's home and our need for privacy. It will be a transition for everyone, but I know it will be a positive experience for everybody. I appreciate the respect you all show both me and my home each day.
Cat Herder 11:16 AM 10-17-2012
IMHO, You should consider going to the "bye-bye outside" program.
You have verbally, to her face, asked her to stop repeatedly. A timid letter will not make a dent to her.
You have verbally, to her face, asked her to stop repeatedly. A timid letter will not make a dent to her.
MissAnn 11:33 AM 10-17-2012
I put a a new knob on my bedroom door...one that locks with a key. I keep it locked during DC hours. Any rooms I do not want them to go into has a door knob thingy....you know, to keep kids out. My sons room and 2 closets have that. I don't like parents to use my bathroom, but I don't know how to say no when they are dancing. I don't like parents to go into my kitchen but it has happened.
lovemykidstoo 11:43 AM 10-17-2012
Originally Posted by bunnyslippers:
I would write a general letter to all of the parents...don't single her out.
Dear Parents,
As you all know, we will be moving the child care back into my family's residence. Please make note of the following policies:
*list your policies
Thanks for respecting my family's home and our need for privacy. It will be a transition for everyone, but I know it will be a positive experience for everybody. I appreciate the respect you all show both me and my home each day.
I would do this.I would write a general letter to all of the parents...don't single her out.
Dear Parents,
As you all know, we will be moving the child care back into my family's residence. Please make note of the following policies:
*list your policies
Thanks for respecting my family's home and our need for privacy. It will be a transition for everyone, but I know it will be a positive experience for everybody. I appreciate the respect you all show both me and my home each day.
LittleD 06:09 PM 10-17-2012
Originally Posted by bunnyslippers:
I would write a general letter to all of the parents...don't single her out.
Dear Parents,
As you all know, we will be moving the child care back into my family's residence. Please make note of the following policies:
*list your policies
Thanks for respecting my family's home and our need for privacy. It will be a transition for everyone, but I know it will be a positive experience for everybody. I appreciate the respect you all show both me and my home each day.
That is great, short sweet and to the point! I would write a general letter to all of the parents...don't single her out.
Dear Parents,
As you all know, we will be moving the child care back into my family's residence. Please make note of the following policies:
*list your policies
Thanks for respecting my family's home and our need for privacy. It will be a transition for everyone, but I know it will be a positive experience for everybody. I appreciate the respect you all show both me and my home each day.
I don't want to make a policy that says use the bathroom before you get here so I guess I'll just suck it up and lock my bathroom cupboard
I know, I'm weird, lol! locking doors is good too, thanks!
lovemykidstoo 06:21 PM 10-17-2012
Do you think locking the bathroom will work or do you think she'll just ask to use it? Does she have a long drive or something? Why would she need to use your bathroom? I wouldn't like that either.
Lucy 10:15 PM 10-17-2012
Love the letter. It was perfect. In addition to giving it to each of them, I would also print it out with a big font and post it somewhere in the house where you know they will all see it.
You might put a sign outside that says "No shoes in the house please." (Or "no shoes on the carpet".. whatever the case is.)
As far as going into the kitchen fridge, I've had it happen just a couple times, and I just put my hand out and said, "Oh, I'll take it please."
I can only remember once where someone (I think it was a dad... it was many, many years ago) started to go down the hall to a bedroom. I quickly said (whispered loudly actually), "No, no... let me get him. I have other kids sleeping in there." I don't think I actually DID have other kids in the same room, but it just bugged me that he thought he could just DO that!
The bathroom thing bugs the heck out of me, and I started a thread about it quite awhile back, but I won't say no to them. Who wants to stand there doing the potty dance and be told no? LOL. It hasn't happened often though, thank goodness.
You might put a sign outside that says "No shoes in the house please." (Or "no shoes on the carpet".. whatever the case is.)
As far as going into the kitchen fridge, I've had it happen just a couple times, and I just put my hand out and said, "Oh, I'll take it please."
I can only remember once where someone (I think it was a dad... it was many, many years ago) started to go down the hall to a bedroom. I quickly said (whispered loudly actually), "No, no... let me get him. I have other kids sleeping in there." I don't think I actually DID have other kids in the same room, but it just bugged me that he thought he could just DO that!
The bathroom thing bugs the heck out of me, and I started a thread about it quite awhile back, but I won't say no to them. Who wants to stand there doing the potty dance and be told no? LOL. It hasn't happened often though, thank goodness.
My3cents 04:39 AM 10-18-2012
The bathroom doesn't bother me. I have some parents that have a drive home and I know for myself, my body hits the cold air and makes me have to go.
Going into other areas would bother me. My fridge, that is rude.
Why are you moving back upstairs? I would love, actually I do love that my daycare is separated from my home space. I have done it both ways- separate is the way to go if you can. Makes me feel like I go to work each day. Downfall is double the housework. Often my own home gets neglected because that is the last thing I want to do at the end of the day.
Going into other areas would bother me. My fridge, that is rude.
Why are you moving back upstairs? I would love, actually I do love that my daycare is separated from my home space. I have done it both ways- separate is the way to go if you can. Makes me feel like I go to work each day. Downfall is double the housework. Often my own home gets neglected because that is the last thing I want to do at the end of the day.
Sugar Magnolia 11:16 AM 10-18-2012
Downfall is double the housework. Often my own home gets neglected because that is the last thing I want to do at the end of the day.[/quote]
True! My daycare is in a separate house. Double the cleaning, double the bills, double the lawns and maintenance. My MIL died recently, we are trying to sell her house so actually, is 3 houses right now. School house: #1 priority, MIL house, 2nd priority because it needs to be sold pronto. House we live in.....omg what a mess. Lazy teens add to the problem. Oy.
True! My daycare is in a separate house. Double the cleaning, double the bills, double the lawns and maintenance. My MIL died recently, we are trying to sell her house so actually, is 3 houses right now. School house: #1 priority, MIL house, 2nd priority because it needs to be sold pronto. House we live in.....omg what a mess. Lazy teens add to the problem. Oy.