Have any of you came across this. It is so well written, and so true to life about life as a childcare provider.

http://www.justthebabysitter.com/200...1_archive.html

Tuesday, July 14, 2009
It's Just Business

Maybe I'm selfish. I'm sure there are people willing to stand in line for a chance to tell me that I am correct on that point. I tend to think that perhaps I am not selfish but always have my own best interest in mind. I truly believe that in life, and most importantly in business, you must look after numero uno first and foremost. I don't see anything wrong with this ideal. First, I believe it is an innate attribute handed down in our DNA as a result of millions of years of self-preservation and survival needs; and second, the sheer fact that if one does not look after one's self then who will?

I have reiterated this point in relation to daycare many, many times. All too often I witness providers placing the needs of their clients in front of their own. It's a delicate balance being self-employed. Yes, you do need to balance some of your clients' needs or you would have no clients. But, you also need to place your mountain of needs somewhere on that see-saw as well. My thoughts on this point were once again confirmed yesterday.

Not all daycare families are what most of us would consider stellar. However, I have had the pleasure of caring for two children from one superb family over the course of nearly six years. They are a great family. They always pay on time, respect my policies, regularly thank me and comment on the quality of care offered. In the world of daycare they are truly a gem. However, my theory on safeguarding oneself was blatantly reinforced yesterday in conversation with this family.

I was made aware yesterday at pick up that effective August 31st my services would no longer be needed. Apparently this family, who only uses three days of care at a cost of a mere $105 would be leaving to benefit from free daycare services offered by grandma. I was thanked for my services over the last six years and told that they would be happy to be a reference for future interested families. I'm not sure if at that moment I was shocked or angry. My initial reaction was one of indignation, although I was sure not to convey it. Instead, I stood there with my smile, wishing them well and stating my sadness in seeing yet another child go.

Over the last fifteen hours I have had some time to digest the news and have come to a few conclusions. I am no longer angry. They had the opportunity to save $100 a week and have a family member, rather than a friend, care for their child. Who wouldn't make the same decision? I can hardly fault them for coming to that conclusion. However, I do feel anger; anger with myself. Because, I can not count how many times I have made accommodations for this family. I made exceptions because they were the "good" family, the "nice" family. But in the end, they did what everyone else does - took care of themselves first.

Sometimes in life we have the knowledge but can't seem to apply it. Emotion is too easily tied to business and people. I am undecided if this is a positive aspect of the human species or innately a terminal fault. Perhaps Darwin could have answered that question. I had the knowledge. I knew that parents always take care of themselves first. I've seen it a dozen times. But somehow, I, and we, still bend over to accommodate families, often at our own expense, just to see them do what is in their best interest when the situation warrants that action. My question is - When will we learn? When will we decide to only do what suits us? When will be be able to use our knowledge of past events and apply it to the future? It's really not complicated. We just need to be realistic.

If even the "good" families place their needs first then what hope is there for the daycare provider who has less than "good" families in care? There is no hope. You simply can not play a game with the innate intricacies of a million years of programming and expect to win.

Judy learned another lesson yesterday. I have always made a genuine effort to take care of me first. But if I was honest I would also admit there is a certain level of guilt that accompanies that decision. Yesterday's lesson was that guilt should not be a factor. Do what you need to do. Everyone else does.

I'm not a better person than most. And maybe I don't want to be. My experience tells me that in business, being the better person means being the loser. I think I'll go back to my old motto, "It's just business", and will sleep better at night.


I wish more parents would read her blogs, and then take a look at their actions as to how they "treat" their providers, the ones who actually care for their child more hours in a day than they do.

Reply

Wow..

May I be the first person to THANK YOU for posting this...
I'm glued to my computer now..
Thank goodness it is naptime and all the angels are sleeping peacefully...so that I can read this blog. I love it.

I'm sure we've all had similar experiences.

Mine:

I started keeping this little girl when she was 9 months old.
The mom had been referred to me by another client.
I instantly became friends with the mom...and ...have continued to be personal friends with her and her husband...clear to this day.
Meanwhile...
Her daughter (now 10) was in my care until she began attending all day preschool ...at age 4 ... And for several years following this my husband and I were friends with them...outside daycare business.
I went through a divorce in 2001. A year later I married...and this couple attended my very small, private wedding.
In 2004 they decided to have a second baby.
It was my understanding that she had other arrangements for childcare for this infant. At the time, they lived pretty far out, and this person was just up the road from them...so the older daughter had been going for summer care, rather than coming to me. Then there was an incident... Apparently the child care provider left the older girl in the care of her older children while she drove 1/4 mile up the dirt road to take trash to the community dumpster. Older child was 5.
Needless to say, my friend called in desperation...wanting to know if I would possibly have space for her newborn...and the older child...until school started again (summer). I said sure...Of course...without a doubt.

She had the baby on Monday. She brought the baby home from the hospital on Wednesday. On Friday she called me.
She was STRESSED. She said she was NOT cut out to be a stay at home mom...
She NEEDED to get back to work ASAP... and she was ready for me to take the baby..
I said...certainly...of course.. When?
Monday she said..
This baby was 1 week old...
She still had her umbilical cord!!!! Later that same week I was inspected (routine inspection) by child care licensing rep..
She was astonished that this 1 week old infant was in my care...but...there are no rules against it.
Then she asked for shot records and statement of health.
I had to remind her that this baby was just born last week.
She doesn't have either of those yet..
Oh...right...of course..

Meanwhile...the mom...my friend...was suffering from post partum depression issues... nothing major...but..she mostly just needed to talk...reassurance each day that she could be the mom of 2...
Of course she is my friend..and I talked to her daily...and of course...she got through fine...and life goes on..

Two years later..
This little girl has been with me since she was 1 week old.
The mom announces that she will be leaving me.
You could have knocked me over with a feather.
I was speachless.
She wanted her to go to PRESCHOOL.
Preschool? At 2.
And I mean...July birthday...just turned 2.
Basically, it was a daycare FACILITY...near her job...that also provided a preschool curriculum.
And...it saved her a few $$$$.
I felt like I'd been stabbed in the heart.!!!!
That was 3 years ago.

Did I mention that ...after I got over it...which did take about a year...
I continue to be friends with this person.
I had to just SUCK IT UP...and go on with life...
My husband and I had dinner with this couple last week. We frequently go to their home...or have them to our home.
And anytime she introduces me to new people...she always tells them that I am the one that cared for her children since they were infants..
And I always just smile.

Reply

Hey, that's my blog!

Thanks for sharing with others.

Reply

Gosh, I hope it was ok??? I had seen it before, came across it again, and it is so worth sharing with other providers. I hope a lot of parents read it, as it is great.

So much of what you write is so true in our daily lives.
Thanks so much for sharing.

Reply

Isn't THAT the truth!!!

Reply

I've come to terms with being thought of as "just the babysitter". I know that what I do here is much, much more than that. I know that even though that's a common theme, God wants me to do this. I want me to do this. I am learning more and more about taking care of "business", esp. when they are friends or we become friends. Once I got some ground rules, and followed them, started it's been much better and I feel much less taken for granted. I've got a ways to go, but I've come a long way.

I can relate to much of the above posts...

Reply

Hi! good post. the rules are everything...keep it on...

Reply