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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Would You Call CPS...
youretooloud 12:30 PM 08-04-2011
Based on something the older child told you about the younger child?
Hypothetically, lets say, the older child is seven, and the younger one is four?
And... Hypothetically, the older child said the younger one was being given margaritas and wine coolers almost every night because she's being so bad.... (she is pretty obnoxious) and hypothetically, you are pretty sure these parents would do this.
But, you have no proof.
Would you make the call?
Hypothetically, lets say, the older child is seven, and the younger one is four?
And... Hypothetically, the older child said the younger one was being given margaritas and wine coolers almost every night because she's being so bad.... (she is pretty obnoxious) and hypothetically, you are pretty sure these parents would do this.
But, you have no proof.
Would you make the call?
SimpleMom 12:34 PM 08-04-2011
yep, I would if I was sure it wasn't stories. Even then, if a little one even knew what a "drink" was and to say it in that context that would be a red flag. Yikes! I hope they are not really doing that!
cheerfuldom 12:39 PM 08-04-2011
Have you questioned the 7 year old a little further? Are you sure he knows what he is talking about? Perhaps the parents were having a drink and made a joke about doing this or he misunderstood something about this situation.
Michelle 12:39 PM 08-04-2011
Originally Posted by SimpleMom:
yep, I would if I was sure it wasn't stories. Even then, if a little one even knew what a "drink" was and to say it in that context that would be a red flag. Yikes! I hope they are not really doing that!
We have to report even if we "suspect".yep, I would if I was sure it wasn't stories. Even then, if a little one even knew what a "drink" was and to say it in that context that would be a red flag. Yikes! I hope they are not really doing that!
We are mandated reporters.
Ask the child what kind of cup he drank out of. It doesn't matter what kind, I'm just wondering if the parents joke about giving them a drink or actually doing it.
Sometimes having to give an actual factual detail like that will help but still , we have to report regardless.
how sad
3kidzmama 12:50 PM 08-04-2011
I would definitely report it, but just know that even if it's true it may not have any consequences. As an elementary teacher, I've reported lots of incidents. One that sounds similar was this second grader telling me about his dad giving him marijuana. He even used the terminology like "blunt" and "joint". He said his dad wanted to calm him down at night (he was quite hyper and not medicated for ADHD). So I made the call. DCFS interviewed the boy at school and talked to his mother, and never followed up. I know because I told his mother that it was me that turned it in and why. She laughed and replied that "they didn't find anything" and that she and her baby daddy (not married) would do what they wanted with their kid. Sad.
youretooloud 01:02 PM 08-04-2011
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
Have you questioned the 7 year old a little further? Are you sure he knows what he is talking about? Perhaps the parents were having a drink and made a joke about doing this or he misunderstood something about this situation.
Ya... I was making jokes with her. Have you questioned the 7 year old a little further? Are you sure he knows what he is talking about? Perhaps the parents were having a drink and made a joke about doing this or he misunderstood something about this situation.
The thing is, when she (the seven yr old) was two, she went to a party with her parents, and she walked around the whole party drinking all the mixed drinks people had set down. She was so sick they had to take her to the hospital. She doesn't remember that, but they still talk about it.
So, I was wondering if she was just repeating THAT story. Maybe she's just remembering the story wrong.
I would SWEAR that I can remember watching my dad's car be towed out of a ditch when I was very little. But, they SWEAR I wasn't even in the same state when that happened, and that I just have two stories mixed up.
youretooloud 01:03 PM 08-04-2011
Originally Posted by Michelle:
We have to report even if we "suspect".
We are mandated reporters.
Ask the child what kind of cup he drank out of. It doesn't matter what kind, I'm just wondering if the parents joke about giving them a drink or actually doing it.
Sometimes having to give an actual factual detail like that will help but still , we have to report regardless.
how sad
She says they share mommy's or daddy's drink. But, two year old will only drink wine coolers and margaritas. So, she's drinking out of their glass or bottle.We have to report even if we "suspect".
We are mandated reporters.
Ask the child what kind of cup he drank out of. It doesn't matter what kind, I'm just wondering if the parents joke about giving them a drink or actually doing it.
Sometimes having to give an actual factual detail like that will help but still , we have to report regardless.
how sad
Crystal 01:12 PM 08-04-2011
I'd make the call and let CPS decide. I think you already know the answer to your question though, and don't need our opinion anyway....but you do have our support. Good luck. 
sharlan 01:19 PM 08-04-2011
Originally Posted by Michelle:
We have to report even if we "suspect".
We are mandated reporters.
Ask the child what kind of cup he drank out of. It doesn't matter what kind, I'm just wondering if the parents joke about giving them a drink or actually doing it.
Sometimes having to give an actual factual detail like that will help but still , we have to report regardless.
how sad
In CA you have to report if you suspect that the story MAY be true. If something happens and you haven't reported it, you can be held liable.We have to report even if we "suspect".
We are mandated reporters.
Ask the child what kind of cup he drank out of. It doesn't matter what kind, I'm just wondering if the parents joke about giving them a drink or actually doing it.
Sometimes having to give an actual factual detail like that will help but still , we have to report regardless.
how sad
countrymom 01:37 PM 08-04-2011
hard to say because I had one girl who every night had to have a tylenol to go to sleep (she is 5) I heard it from the boyfriends brothers sister who works with a dcm (we are good friends) so when I asked the girl about it she said it was true, she calls it a magic pill.
sharlan 01:50 PM 08-04-2011
To answer your question. Yes, I would call CPS when the children AREN'T there.
CheekyChick 01:54 PM 08-04-2011
Personally, I would speak to the oldest child further and then the parents. When my children were younger, I would make them Pina Coladas (sans alcohol). They thought it was fun! Oh, and they are both in their early 20's and have never touched "real' alcohol. Thank the Lord.
familyschoolcare 02:10 PM 08-04-2011
I was told during my health ans safety class that here in cal. we have to report anything that we think might be true. Also we are NOT to question the child(ren) further about the situation. Just call CPS and let them do their job let them deiced based on what you say wiether or not to investigate or not.
On a personal note I would take anything involving children and alcohol very seriously. My Hubby works in a lab where they test "samples" for alcohol and other "drugs" and a few ears ago he got a case where a Infant died, very sad.
On a personal note I would take anything involving children and alcohol very seriously. My Hubby works in a lab where they test "samples" for alcohol and other "drugs" and a few ears ago he got a case where a Infant died, very sad.
Blackcat31 02:12 PM 08-04-2011
Originally Posted by CheekyChick:
Personally, I would speak to the oldest child further and then the parents. When my children were younger, I would make them Pina Coladas (sans alcohol). They thought it was fun! Oh, and they are both in their early 20's and have never touched "real' alcohol. Thank the Lord.
Good advice Cheeky! I think that we sometimes interpret things a bit harshly. I have said things to my kids and have done things that taken out of context could be viewed very badly such as the example that Cheeky gave above. My daughter used to have a Girl's Night Out with a neighbor girl where the neighbor girls mom was their server and the girls were pampered and served all sorts of cocktails (minus the alcohol). The girls were in elementary school.Personally, I would speak to the oldest child further and then the parents. When my children were younger, I would make them Pina Coladas (sans alcohol). They thought it was fun! Oh, and they are both in their early 20's and have never touched "real' alcohol. Thank the Lord.
I had a dcg once tell me her dad made her get out of the car and left her on the side of the road and she was scared. When I asked her why she said because she was naughty and her dad never came back. After talking with the mom, I found out that she was left on the driveway to wait for the bus with 10 other kids like she normally was! Sometimes kid say things that they know will get a reaction. I questioned this girl and never did she say where, why and what the other details were. Just that it happened yesterday and her dad was mad and every time he is mad he leaves her on the side of the road somewhere.
Had I not had an open discussion with both parents, I wouldn't have known anything besides what this child told me. I document everything now and talk with the parent the first chance I get.
This is all good reason to have open communitcation and a good relationship wiht your dc families. It is important for us to know them and what kind of people they are for many reasons.
sharlan 02:20 PM 08-04-2011
See that's the problem with CA. You can't just document, you HAVE to report IF you have any suspicion that it MIGHT me true.
familyschoolcare 02:30 PM 08-04-2011
I know of a case that was almost not reported that resulted in the children being taken from the mother that often drove drunk and with the children in the car and when CPS confronted her about the situation she told them I will not stop if what I am doing is that wrong you will have to take my children away.
We are talking about children here little human beings that do not have the life skills to stand up for themselves and that is why we as adults in their life must report anything that might be happening so that someone that can stand up for them can get involved.
We are talking about children here little human beings that do not have the life skills to stand up for themselves and that is why we as adults in their life must report anything that might be happening so that someone that can stand up for them can get involved.
Cat Herder 02:37 PM 08-04-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I'd make the call and let CPS decide. I think you already know the answer to your question though, and don't need our opinion anyway....but you do have our support. Good luck.
I agree... I once had a couple who "shotgunned the baby" to help them him with colic. I'd make the call and let CPS decide. I think you already know the answer to your question though, and don't need our opinion anyway....but you do have our support. Good luck.
I had no idea wth that meant so I asked. It is blow-by marijuana.
I made the call and was told they were aware and it was a cultural/religious thing...not to worry.
I left it alone after that. Very overweight pre-teen today, btw...
sharlan 02:38 PM 08-04-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
I agree... I once had a couple who "shotgunned the baby" to help them him with colic.
I had no idea wth that meant so I asked. It is blow-by marijuana.
I made the call and was told they were aware and it was a cultural/religious thing...not to worry.
I left it alone after that. Very overweight pre-teen today, btw...
A cultural issue??????I agree... I once had a couple who "shotgunned the baby" to help them him with colic.
I had no idea wth that meant so I asked. It is blow-by marijuana.
I made the call and was told they were aware and it was a cultural/religious thing...not to worry.
I left it alone after that. Very overweight pre-teen today, btw...
CheekyChick 02:42 PM 08-04-2011
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Good advice Cheeky! I think that we sometimes interpret things a bit harshly. I have said things to my kids and have done things that taken out of context could be viewed very badly such as the example that Cheeky gave above. My daughter used to have a Girl's Night Out with a neighbor girl where the neighbor girls mom was their server and the girls were pampered and served all sorts of cocktails (minus the alcohol). The girls were in elementary school.
I had a dcg once tell me her dad made her get out of the car and left her on the side of the road and she was scared. When I asked her why she said because she was naughty and her dad never came back. After talking with the mom, I found out that she was left on the driveway to wait for the bus with 10 other kids like she normally was! Sometimes kid say things that they know will get a reaction. I questioned this girl and never did she say where, why and what the other details were. Just that it happened yesterday and her dad was mad and every time he is mad he leaves her on the side of the road somewhere.
Had I not had an open discussion with both parents, I wouldn't have known anything besides what this child told me. I document everything now and talk with the parent the first chance I get.
This is all good reason to have open communitcation and a good relationship wiht your dc families. It is important for us to know them and what kind of people they are for many reasons.
Agreed. If I called CPS every time a child told me a story, I would be calling once a week. One of my two year old girls recently had a scratch (clearly from a puppy or kitten) on her neck and she told me her daddy hit her. I asked her mother about the scratch and it was from their puppy. I know this family very well and there is NO way the daddy would hit (or scratch) his little girl. Good advice Cheeky! I think that we sometimes interpret things a bit harshly. I have said things to my kids and have done things that taken out of context could be viewed very badly such as the example that Cheeky gave above. My daughter used to have a Girl's Night Out with a neighbor girl where the neighbor girls mom was their server and the girls were pampered and served all sorts of cocktails (minus the alcohol). The girls were in elementary school.
I had a dcg once tell me her dad made her get out of the car and left her on the side of the road and she was scared. When I asked her why she said because she was naughty and her dad never came back. After talking with the mom, I found out that she was left on the driveway to wait for the bus with 10 other kids like she normally was! Sometimes kid say things that they know will get a reaction. I questioned this girl and never did she say where, why and what the other details were. Just that it happened yesterday and her dad was mad and every time he is mad he leaves her on the side of the road somewhere.
Had I not had an open discussion with both parents, I wouldn't have known anything besides what this child told me. I document everything now and talk with the parent the first chance I get.
This is all good reason to have open communitcation and a good relationship wiht your dc families. It is important for us to know them and what kind of people they are for many reasons.
Oh, and one of my older boys told me the scratches on his knees were from falling in a volcano of hot lava. LOL!!!
Now... If I didn't know a family well or if I had a suspicion that ANYTHING odd was going on, I would absolutely call CPS. That's my job.
youretooloud 02:43 PM 08-04-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
I agree... I once had a couple who "shotgunned the baby" to help them him with colic.
I totally would have thought that meant "put him in the front seat".I agree... I once had a couple who "shotgunned the baby" to help them him with colic.
I'm so uncool.
Cat Herder 02:51 PM 08-04-2011
Originally Posted by sharlan:
A cultural issue??????
Not U.S. citizens, work visa. A cultural issue??????
It is not illegal in every country.
Blackcat31 02:51 PM 08-04-2011
Originally Posted by CheekyChick:
Now... If I didn't know a family well or if I had a suspicion that ANYTHING odd was going on, I would absolutely call CPS. That's my job.
Right on. Now... If I didn't know a family well or if I had a suspicion that ANYTHING odd was going on, I would absolutely call CPS. That's my job.
That is the difference between calling or not calling.
erinalexmom 06:44 PM 08-04-2011
Originally Posted by youretooloud:
I totally would have thought that meant "put him in the front seat".
I'm so uncool.
Im uncool too cause I thought, OMG they didnt put him in a carseat? I totally would have thought that meant "put him in the front seat".
I'm so uncool.
familyschoolcare 06:53 PM 08-04-2011
Originally Posted by erinalexmom:
Im uncool too cause I thought, OMG they didnt put him in a carseat?
I must be uncool to when I first read it I thought it had something to do with a firearm. Then again maybe that is just the military wife part of me.Im uncool too cause I thought, OMG they didnt put him in a carseat?
Cat Herder 07:03 PM 08-04-2011
Originally Posted by familyschoolcare:
I must be uncool to when I first read it I thought it had something to do with a firearm. Then again maybe that is just the military wife part of me.
That was my first thought too as a gun enthusiast/collector. I must be uncool to when I first read it I thought it had something to do with a firearm. Then again maybe that is just the military wife part of me.
nannyde 07:22 PM 08-04-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I'd make the call and let CPS decide. I think you already know the answer to your question though, and don't need our opinion anyway....but you do have our support. Good luck.
I agree with crystal on this.I'd make the call and let CPS decide. I think you already know the answer to your question though, and don't need our opinion anyway....but you do have our support. Good luck.
Country Kids 07:01 AM 08-05-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
I agree... I once had a couple who "shotgunned the baby" to help them him with colic.
I had no idea wth that meant so I asked. It is blow-by marijuana.
I made the call and was told they were aware and it was a cultural/religious thing...not to worry.
I left it alone after that. Very overweight pre-teen today, btw...
I thought it had something to do with marrying him off I agree... I once had a couple who "shotgunned the baby" to help them him with colic.
I had no idea wth that meant so I asked. It is blow-by marijuana.
I made the call and was told they were aware and it was a cultural/religious thing...not to worry.
I left it alone after that. Very overweight pre-teen today, btw...
Cat Herder 08:46 AM 08-05-2011
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
I thought it had something to do with marrying him off
Wait until you see "cupping". I thought it had something to do with marrying him off
It is also a cultural/religious thing. Using actual flame and a cup on a child chest for flu/pneumonia/bronchitis.... It leaves little 1st degree burns/bruises/blisters in a perfect circle and will FREAK you out if you have never seen it.
I was fortunate and was pre-warned on it.
