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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Don't Feel In The Wrong...
MommyMuffin 03:42 AM 08-18-2015
I had a family that was interested. This was a month ago. I told them I wasn't in a rush and would let them know if I had an immediate family so they may save a spot.

Fast forward a few weeks and I emailed them and told them due to business reasons I have to fill my spots faster and will take on a family who needs immediate care.

They say they want to hold the spots. I email back that I need a contract and deposit. They say, yes we will get it to you. 2 days pass and I have 2 interviews. I had a family sign on the spot, contact, deposit and starting on Friday.

I emailed the previous family and told them the spot was filled. This morning I get an angry email from the husband. Threatening to report me....for unprofessional behavior and such. That it has put a strain on their marriage and that he may have to quit his job.

I understand, I do and I feel bad but I had to have paperwork.
Here is the letter I sent:
Hello,

I am sorry about the choices I had to make. In the resent past I had a family state that they wanted me to care for their children and I waited 4 weeks without a contract or deposit. In those 4 weeks I turned away 4 families that wanted immediate care.

Then a day after I was to start with them, they called and said that they had a family member that was going to watch their child.

This put me in a bad situation and I learned a lesson about not saving spots until I had paper work and deposits.

Due to school starting soon and the cost that has risen with that. financially I needed to have a fulltime family in care earlier than expected.

These are the reasons I had to make the decisions I did. It was nothing personal, just business and I had to look out for the best interest of providing for my family as well.

If you have a grievance to report you can call the county licensing department Xxx-xxx-xxxx.

Again, I am sorry about what a difficult situation this has put you in and I did not decide this lightly.
My name

With that being said...do you think I was in the wrong....don't be too harsh with your responses please!
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Josiegirl 04:07 AM 08-18-2015
Since you've already sent the letter to the family, I won't critique it. If it put them in such a pressing situation and created such strife between them then they should have been a bit more interested in taking the spot. I think they're just trying to make you feel bad. I wouldn't give them another second of worry. They're just acting out of anger because you weren't waiting forever for their response.
Maybe it'll do them good to realize the world doesn't revolve around them after all.
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MommyMuffin 04:28 AM 08-18-2015
I should have come on here quick and had you all give me tips! Darn it! You ladies always come up with great ideas.
I do feel bad but I'm happy that I have a signed contract.
Would you have handled this another way?
They needed care to start in 3 weeks
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laundrymom 04:36 AM 08-18-2015
I wouldn't have responded to the dad at all. He CHOSE not to pay you. You picked someone who would. Sorry for HIS behavior but HE is just trying to bully you. You should not explain yourself.
Let him "report you" for whatever he wants. Licensing isn't your boss they are there to insure safety of the children. Not get in the middle of a prospective clients demands on someone not even contracted yet.
I know you already sent the letter. But next time don't. The state isn't your boss. They don't care if we get paid. If you choose child a over child c. They care that you are safe and clean for the kids. Not that you didn't give in to a family who was unwilling to commit. If he wanted you that bad he would have paid you.
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daycarediva 04:39 AM 08-18-2015
Next time, don't reserve the space without a contract, start date and deposit (hefty deposit, I do last two weeks of care and ONLY hold the space with no pay if it's already filled and the family is waiting for an availability).

Send an email with a deadline. "If you're interested in the space I will need a contract, deposit equal to X and definite start date no later than X date and X time or I will fill the space."

That way they can't come back on you. Everything is a learning experience!
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Play Care 04:42 AM 08-18-2015
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
I wouldn't have responded to the dad at all. He CHOSE not to pay you. You picked someone who would. Sorry for HIS behavior but HE is just trying to bully you. You should not explain yourself.
Let him "report you" for whatever he wants. Licensing isn't your boss they are there to insure safety of the children. Not get in the middle of a prospective clients demands on someone not even contracted yet.
I know you already sent the letter. But next time don't. The state isn't your boss. They don't care if we get paid. If you choose child a over child c. They care that you are safe and clean for the kids. Not that you didn't give in to a family who was unwilling to commit. If he wanted you that bad he would have paid you.


The only thing the state cares about is the kids in your care. You never had these kids. What's to report? You would have taken them on had they done what was asked.
You asked for a contract and deposit and they didn't do it. You took another family. As I say to my kids "you snooze, you lose!"
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christine19720 05:05 AM 08-18-2015
Originally Posted by Play Care:


The only thing the state cares about is the kids in your care. You never had these kids. What's to report? You would have taken them on had they done what was asked.
You asked for a contract and deposit and they didn't do it. You took another family. As I say to my kids "you snooze, you lose!"
This!

Be glad they are not in your care. If they are this irresponsible, and have a need to blame their life on you before you even enroll them, I would not even want to imagine what kind of nightmare customers they would have turned out to be!
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MyAngels 05:28 AM 08-18-2015
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
Next time, don't reserve the space without a contract, start date and deposit (hefty deposit, I do last two weeks of care and ONLY hold the space with no pay if it's already filled and the family is waiting for an availability).

Send an email with a deadline. "If you're interested in the space I will need a contract, deposit equal to X and definite start date no later than X date and X time or I will fill the space."

That way they can't come back on you. Everything is a learning experience!
This. I'm assuming you made it clear that you would continue to interview and the spot would not be held without a contract and deposit.
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Shell 06:16 AM 08-18-2015
I've been in this situation before, and done exactly what you have done.

I'm not sure if I would have responded at all, but if so, I may have said something short and sweet like, "I apologize for the inconvenience, but I needed to make a business decision and I did not hear from you promptly".

You dodged a bullet with this family!

You didn't exchange any money, so I don't think there's anything more to say here (as far as licensing is concerned).
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Rockgirl 06:22 AM 08-18-2015
Bottom line, you told them you needed paperwork and a deposit, they didn't turn it in. Their choice, their fault.

Strain on their marriage? Dad may have to quit his job? Please....he is melodramatic. It's absurd that he would try to blame that on you. Can you imagine how he'd be as a client?
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childcaremom 06:27 AM 08-18-2015
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
Bottom line, you told them you needed paperwork and a deposit, they didn't turn it in. Their choice, their fault.

Strain on their marriage? Dad may have to quit his job? Please....he is melodramatic. It's absurd that he would try to blame that on you. Can you imagine how he'd be as a client?

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AmyKidsCo 07:23 AM 08-18-2015
That's exactly what I would've done. I reserve spots at no charge as long as there aren't any other families interested in starting sooner. If another family wants to start sooner than the first family I contact the first family and give them the option of paying to hold their spot.

I would've signed up a new family if the first family didn't get back to me right away too.
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Thriftylady 07:54 AM 08-18-2015
Originally Posted by Rockgirl:
Bottom line, you told them you needed paperwork and a deposit, they didn't turn it in. Their choice, their fault.

Strain on their marriage? Dad may have to quit his job? Please....he is melodramatic. It's absurd that he would try to blame that on you. Can you imagine how he'd be as a client?
Sounds like someone is looking for a reason to quit their job.
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NoMoreJuice! 10:18 AM 08-18-2015
Great learning experience! Next time you encounter a situation where they are interested, but not wanting to commit, give a deadline in writing, email preferably.

"I would love to care for your child, but as interest in my program is very high, you will need to sign a contract and pay your deposit by XX/XX/2015 or the spot may be filled at my discretion."

This is a black and white, ball-in-their-court statement. Will they still be annoyed if it's their fault they waited past the deadline? Of course. But it leaves very little room for misinterpretation and it makes you look more professional.
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MarinaVanessa 10:53 AM 08-18-2015
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
He CHOSE not to pay you. You picked someone who would. Sorry for HIS behavior but HE is just trying to bully you. You should not explain yourself.
[enter clapping smiley here]

As far as I can tell you did everything right.
You told them you weren't in a hurry at that time but if things changed then you'd let them know.
Things changed and you let them know that you needed to fill the spots quickly.
You let them know that they needed to bring you a contract and deposit.
They did not.
You had other interviews and signed someone that gave you a signed contract and deposit.

I would have responded but I would have responded maybe just a little differently. I would not explain my "why" as you did. My letter would have been something more like ...

Dear Parent,

I understand that you may have some misplaced frustration however I would like to remind you that when I first spoke to you I mentioned that I was not in a hurry to fill my space at that time and that if things changed that I would notify you. X weeks went by and I needed the spot filled so I did contact you to let you know that I needed a signed contract and deposit. Two days went by and I still did not have your signed contract or deposit and I had a family interested that could provide a signed contract and the deposit immediately.

If you feel the need to report me to licensing please feel free to contact them. The number to the regional office is XXX-XXX-XXXX, my analyst's name is {name}. I have already contacted her in regards to this situation and have sent her copies of our communication including your previous email. She is expecting your call.

I wish you the best of luck in your search for child care and I am sincerely dissapointed that things did not work out.

Provider
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