...is this a no-no in your state? if so, what state are you in?

I'd get a type A violation for inappropriate or excessive discipline for it in California.

I'm always worried that my little guy how PUTS HIMSELF in the corner when he's angry is going to do it during an inspection. :P

Reply

Our lisensing says time outs should not be longer than 5 minutes and not used in children’s under age 3... but there’s all kinds of loopholes for children’s under 3, such as not using the words “time out” that they are okay with. I get away with my cry corner for my niece which is basically a time out just not called that

Discipline is not something I really agree with the state on usually. The state is very black and white and I don’t view discipline as a black or white matter. You have to do what works based on the child’s individual needs as well as what works at home. I’ve had siblings that I’ve had to use different discipline or “redirection” techniques for.

I think if the child puts themselves in a corner it’s not the same thing and if he did it while someone from the state was present I would just say “oh Billy does that when he needs to cool off, it is his way of coping and he does it at home when he is overwhelmed as well”. Maybe even make a point to say “it’s okay Billy you take all the time you need to cool down, just remember you can come play as soon as you are ready to”.

Reply

put up a little sign that says "cool down corner". Maybe toss a pillow over there. We put the kids in a corner area to calm down. They are obsessed right now with the sequin pillow that turns a different color when you run a finger along it. Heck, even the big kids like to play with it when there angry.

Reply

I had a child like this once - her parents had her sit on the bottom stair until she calmed down but my stairs are gated off so she'd sit in the hall outside the bathroom. I made sure to tell my licensor about it once when she was here and the child wasn't having a problem, so the licensor would know if she ever came during a meltdown.

Reply

Well, my cool down spot is in the corner, so I guess I'd get cited too!

Reply

I love () how our rules just state that punishment should never be humiliating or shameful to the child.

So OP if your little guy 'likes' to stand in the corner, I'd bet he isn't humiliated or ashamed so you're good!

I don't use time out or anything similar.

My method of guidance is to give choices, options and opportunities but as far as disciplining goes, they simply lose the ability to be able to choose on their own and I choose their activity for them.

Reply

I do something similar "choices/consequences"....we bring in the "positive role model", too. If they can't make appropriate choices, then "I" will make them and then give them other chances later to see if they can handle themselves....Rinse/repeat ALL THE TIME! Some it takes more than others but on the average it works....I love sharing this with parents. In their mind all they think is "i don't wnat to spank" I tell them you don't have to "spank" just pick a "consequence" and be consistent. Their look of a "deer in the headlights" then turns into a "lightbulb".

Reply

I am in California also.....

I have a calm down space, I do not send children there or mandate their amount of time there... similar to a montessori peace table but more warm and cozy to go with my Waldorf style program.

My space is super cozy with twinkle lights, a book shelf with books, calm down jars, soft seating, etc. My rules for the space are no more than two children at a time and they can only do calm reading, relaxing in the space. Many of the children will go when they want to cry, are shocked/mad/hurt by hearing NO or my enforcing a rule, are mad at another child, etc. I will also go with them if they are having a tough drop off or just need a cuddle.

We also use the space to work out conflicts between children. As a quick fix for licensing put a sign that says Calm Down Spot and add a bean bag and basket of books. Tell the child they are welcome to express their big feelings but at daycare they can do it in the bean bag..... with a book if they desire.

Reply

That's a great point, but who gets to decide what's humiliating or shaming? I have a feeling that if the licensor walked in and the child's nose is buried in the corner my saying "But he LIKES it!" isn't going to fly.

Reply

then have them ask the child! Ours asked one two year old why she was sitting in the corner with her nose on the wall and she said " I calming! this my calm way. I better then I play with toys" Licencor laughed and let it all go.

Reply

He's three, but I don't think anyone outside of his family or my daycare could understand a word he says yet. His speech is still VERY garbled. His receptive language is off the charts though.

Reply