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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Question For Those With Small Kids Of Their Own
sahm2three 12:44 PM 01-05-2012
Do you feel like you just don't get a break? I feel like I take care of kids all day long, including my youngest, to taking care of my family all night long and just don't ever seem to get any "me" time. I try at nap, but my youngest has decided that he is going to hang with me the entire time. Which I love most day. But some days I just feel like I need to have some personal space and quiet. My ds is in the "Why" phase. Asking "Why are their floors?" "Why do we have hair?" "Why were curtains made?" Stuff like that. Constant. I love him so much but after frustrating days like today, I just need some quiet time. And then my evening will start and I will be busy helping with homework, making dinner, cleaning up after dinner and vacuuming and cleaning toys before I finally hit the hay. I am just really craving some quiet. Maybe just feeling overwhelmed after all the hussle and bussle of the holidays. Just needed to vent.
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cheerfuldom 01:02 PM 01-05-2012
Are you married? Can your husband help out more?

With 3 kids under 5 of my own, plus my daycare kids, yes I do know exactly what you are talking about.
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sahm2three 01:07 PM 01-05-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
Are you married? Can your husband help out more?

With 3 kids under 5 of my own, plus my daycare kids, yes I do know exactly what you are talking about.
I do have a husband. But usually I deem him my 4th child. He isn't much help. He complains that he works all day too and would like to be able to relax when he gets home. Yeah, me too....

My 2 older kids are fairly self sufficient at 12 and 10, but still need guidance. And they fight like cats and dogs. My youngest is a MAJOR mama's boy. He is stuck like glue to me usually. So I feel like I need a bubble around me at some points of the day so that I can just "be". I know one day I will wish like heck I could have these days back, so I am trying to just suck it all in now. But you still need some time to your self. I can't even go to the bathroom alone! LOL!
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Breezy 01:16 PM 01-05-2012
I have a 10.5 month old and yes I feel this way!!

I make sure to get out of the house in the evening to run errands by myself a few days per week. I also go @off duty@ with our son for about an hour after my DH gets home.
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Growing1atime 01:18 PM 01-05-2012
Originally Posted by sahm2three:
I do have a husband. But usually I deem him my 4th child. He isn't much help. He complains that he works all day too and would like to be able to relax when he gets home. Yeah, me too....

My 2 older kids are fairly self sufficient at 12 and 10, but still need guidance. And they fight like cats and dogs. My youngest is a MAJOR mama's boy. He is stuck like glue to me usually. So I feel like I need a bubble around me at some points of the day so that I can just "be". I know one day I will wish like heck I could have these days back, so I am trying to just suck it all in now. But you still need some time to your self. I can't even go to the bathroom alone! LOL!
I know what you mean about the husband turned child thing! We have four of our own all under the age of 9 and it gets to be a bit much sometimes. Which is why I down scaled the daycare and have only a few part time kids. Also I sat down with my husband and told him he had to pick 2 major household chores that he had to do everyday no matter what. It helped with the cleaning and also helped with the fighting!

I take one night off during the week, and one 1/2 day off on the weekends. I prearrange which nights and days with my dh and things are better around here. The old saying when mommy is happy everyone is happy is really true.
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small_steps 01:27 PM 01-05-2012
I have twins that are 8 and a 2 year old. I know exactly what you mean. I'm a single mom so I don't have a husband that helps out.
One thing I'm thinking about doing is having my helper start coming and working mornings for me. I usually only have her here when I have appointments but I can afford her here more often right now so I'm thinking why not? And then I could take at least 3 mornings a week to go to the gym...straighten the house...maybe even take a nap...watch a movie without any distractions..etc. My daycare is now in my converted garage so I can usually close the door and have my house back to myself if someone is in there with them to watch them.
Could you hire someone to come in one or two mornings a week and take some time for yourself maybe?
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cheerfuldom 01:46 PM 01-05-2012
well I went pretty hard core on my husband last year due to severe burn out. Made him pack a bag and was about ready to give him the ol "heave ho"....I was so beyond sick of carrying the burden of working plus kids and pregnancies. Anywho, it worked! He has matured so much this past year and we are finally a team. No one keeps score of who is doing what, we both work till it gets done. He is an excellent father and no longer uses the "I've been working all day and I'm tired" excuse. sometimes you just have to put your foot down and make some changes. Best thing I ever did. I am proud to say that my husband is not my fourth child.

It also helped that I finally got an amazing assistant for the daycare. She comes at least one time per week, sometimes twice. That totally helped! I also refuse to have any drama whatsoever from my daycare families. I just have no time for people screwing around and messing up what I have going here.....either get on board or get off the train
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AnneCordelia 01:54 PM 01-05-2012
I do feel this way.

I have 4 young children of my own. An 8yo, 6yo, 3yo and 1yo. There are days when hubby walks in the door from work and I go straight to bed. But, I try to keep the big picture in mind...it's only a short time of my life that I will be this run this ragged. LOL. And I have small milestones in my future: my 3rd child starts kindergarten in the fall (he turns 4 this year) and that will be a big break for me as he is my child who requires the most.
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daycare 01:59 PM 01-05-2012
OMG do I hear you......

Yesterday was my B-day and my in laws called to surprise me with gifts and dinner at my house. While it was nice, I had just gotten done cleaning my house. ALL OF IT.

Well my Niece was with them too, she is 4. So of course all of my daycare was destroyed, tables, my kitchen and bathroom.

So for my birthday (oh yeah not to mention I'm sick too, really sick) I got to stay up until 1am recleaning the house by myself. Of course everyone else was too tired to help.

This morning i was so angry at my husband I told him that my birthday wish was to not wake up this morning so that I could continue to burn myself out.
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Ariana 03:48 PM 01-05-2012
You definately need to start demanding more from your husband! As soon as he gets in through the door, grab the car keys and say "gotta go run a quick errand be back soon" and then he has no choice but to be a dad!!
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greenhouse 04:07 PM 01-05-2012
I feel like my workday is 24 hours a day. My husband still thinks I don't actually work- even though I do the day care,plus another home business, do 100% of the housework, and take care of my 2 year old. I can't wait to work outside the home again! I ask for help when I need it, that's the key. My husband now helps with bedtime so I can workout at night or whatever.
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busymommy0420 05:21 PM 01-05-2012
I have four kids 2,2,11 & 15. I watch 6 other children (varying) between 7:30 and 5:30pm Monday through Friday. I feel like I am alone all the time. No grown ups all day and hubby coaches b-ball two weeknights and will do grocery shopping and errands for me. He comes in and I so want to go in the other room for 10 minutes but I feel like he worked all day too so maybe he wants to relax for a few minutes before toddler time. I put my daughters to bed right at 7:30 and enjoy sometime in the evening. I try to pay bills, clean and prepare dinner during naptime 12:30-2:30 daily. All the kids sleep at the same time so I am lucky there.

I am going out tomorrow night for my Birthday dinner with girlfriends and NO KIDS!!! LOL it's been awhile. I actually feel guilty when I am gone....go figure!

I know Daycare is not my forever job, I want to go back to school for nursing and become a LPN or RN by the time the girls start Kindergarten but am not sure if I can fit school in. I would like to work PT as a nurse so I am still home most of the time once the girls start school. So much to think about.
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e.j. 08:16 PM 01-05-2012
I don't have little ones of my own anymore. My son turned 21 today and my daughter turns 18 in March but I remember feeling the same way as all who have replied to this thread - overwhelmed, exhausted, resentful at times toward my third kid (aka: husband)....

It probably doesn't feel like it to you right now but "this, too, shall pass." Your kids will be all grown up before you know it and it happens in the blink of an eye. Hang in there! It will get better.
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iheartkids 11:08 PM 01-05-2012
My DH works 3rd so there are a lot of times in the evenings he decides to take a "nap" before he goes into work. Conveniently this is usually the time I have to run errands or go grocery shopping! So I have to clean the lil one up after dinner and drag him with me everywhere. One day I had a dr. appointment which my DH watched our kids while I went and I was actually enjoying the wait in the waiting room!
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AmyLeigh 11:46 PM 01-05-2012
Originally Posted by sahm2three:
. I can't even go to the bathroom alone! LOL!
Hahaha! My bathroom door opens right next to the toilet and I have bruises constantly on my knees from my 3 yo opening the door on me.

Zumba usually does it for me. There are 2 classes a week at my gym I can make after all the dc kiddos leave and I get home just in time to tuck my kids in bed. Thankfully, dh doesn't mind, but I still feel guilty because he works such long hours and he's on bedtime duty on those days.
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AnneCordelia 05:24 AM 01-06-2012
You need take a rule about the bathroom. Best thing I ever did. Even my 1yoknows to wait quiet outside the door. Some things a woman should be able to do in pea e. Lol
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melissa ann 05:36 AM 01-06-2012
I started my childcare when my kids were 1 and 3. They are now 7 and alomost 5. I rarely get a break. My husband is about worthless. He comes home from work about quarter after 5(he does feed the dog), then he lays down n the sofa and watches tv until the dck leave and we eat supper. My daycare is seperate from our personal home. I've been trying to get him to do the dishes during the week on our personal side. Since it's mostly his lunch dishes (he takes leftovers) and his cups. But, no. the sink is still full.
I tell him I do dishes during the day, and I need a break too. But he says, well, that's my job and get paid for it
My dd (7) has girl scouts and takes ballet. All of which, in the evenings, I get her there. I work longer hours then my husband and yet he does nothing to help in the evenings.
My church has LIFE (living in faith everyday) study groups 3 times a year that lasts 10 weeks each. I was participating in those. It's an hour and a half one day week. Ididn't do the fall semester because my husband didnt' want to watch the kids. Especially, when they didn't want me to leave and would get upset. I really enjoy going to those, I could actually talk to people older than 7
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countrymom 06:02 AM 01-06-2012
I have 4 kids, and run a full daycare, I feel like I'm working around the clock. Now the kids are older (13,11,9,7) its a bit easier. Dh is sometimes like my 5th kid. He will come home sit on the couch and sleep, heck he sleeps everywhere. I found that I need to be organized all the time. I also go out for a coffee at tim hortons once a week and just sit in there
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MNMum 11:31 AM 01-06-2012
I had to get in on this one...My husband has gotten better...but. I have felt very resentful lately, being sick the last two days has not helped. He gets up, goes to work, gets home after all daycare kids have gone, sometime between 5-6. Sometimes he prepares dinner. Cannot get him to help with anything on a daily basis. We have three kids, 9,5,2. Our house is always a mess. They bring home art projects and papers and toys are everywhere. How do you get a guy to see that making dinner involves not only food prep, but dishes, putting away stuff that was used, wiping the table, and cleaning up the floor? And that things need to be put away on a daily basis. With a household of 5, once a week doesn't work. I need a maid and chauffeur, that would probably solve the problem!
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PolarCare 08:08 PM 01-06-2012
My husband used to be a big pain about that. Like having another kid. I politely explained that if I don't get any downtime, nobody does. That, and I started leaving the house for my "me time", detailing what I expected to find when I got home. Pretty effective.
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Tags:burnt out, overwhelmed
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