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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Guilt Trip Didn't Work
BumbleBee 04:23 PM 01-16-2013
Due to some issues with a particular dc family, I typed up a letter reiterating one of my policies. I gave it to all of the families as some of the parents work together. The letter is to be signed, dated & returned to me by a specific date. Right above where the parents sign it says "We/I, the undersigned, understand, accept, and agree to follow the aforementioned policy. We/I, the undersigned, understand that refusing/neglecting to return this letter may result in termination of child care for our/my child(ren)." I handed it out this morning.

At p/u one family had the letter signed & dated. They also told me how much they appreciate me & there isn't enough "thank you's" in the world to convey their gratitude for caring for their child. One family asked a few questions to clarify. Last family-aka issue family.

Dcp: I'm not signing that letter. It doesn't work for me.

Me: So your last day will be *date signed letter is due*?

*chirp, chirp, chirp*

Dcp: *sigh-turns to child (infant)* Looks like mommy will have to find somewhere else for you to go. *looks at me*

Me: Let me know if your last day will be before *date signed letter is due* so I can get his things together.

*chirp, chirp, chirp*

I go start washing dishes in the kitchen and dcp leaves w/o another word.
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familyschoolcare 04:33 PM 01-16-2013
Atleast they read it.
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lovemykidstoo 04:46 PM 01-16-2013
This is the family from the other thread you had? Tell her one thing....don't let the door hit ya in the a**! Man what a pain she is.
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daycare 04:49 PM 01-16-2013
rub your back bone on me....wow wish I could do something like that
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laundrymom 07:19 PM 01-16-2013
I'm not giving you applause
I'm not doing the golf clap

I'm standing on the couch doing the arseneo hall fist pump and whowhoopwooopwoot! Battle cry!!!!
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daycare 08:28 PM 01-16-2013
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
I'm not giving you applause
I'm not doing the golf clap

I'm standing on the couch doing the arseneo hall fist pump and whowhoopwooopwoot! Battle cry!!!!
I don't know who hall is. But you made me laugh me tea out my nose. Lol
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Meyou 01:48 AM 01-17-2013
Awesome backbone!!! You did an amazing job with a problem mom.
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melilley 05:43 AM 01-17-2013
Poor you, these people sound like nightmares! Some people! I hope I can say what you say when something arises like that for me! Way to go!
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DaisyMamma 06:13 AM 01-17-2013
Good for you!
"doesn't work for me". Lol, oh well, good luck to her finding a DCP who goes by her rules.
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BumbleBee 06:24 AM 01-17-2013
My backbone is in full force this week. Coincidence that Aunt Flo will be visiting this weekend?

Honestly I'm one of THE most lenient providers around here. My policies are few, I'm willing to work with variable schedules, etc etc.

So yeah, good luck finding a provider who's even more lenient than I am.
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coolconfidentme 06:31 AM 01-17-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
I don't know who hall is. But you made me laugh me tea out my nose. Lol
(I'm wiping my juice off my keypad with laughter.)
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laundrymom 06:37 AM 01-17-2013
Lol. I'm old. Noone knows arsenio. Lol
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Lianne 06:42 AM 01-17-2013
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
Lol. I'm old. Noone knows arsenio. Lol
I do, I do!!

I remember when he had The New Kids On The Block on his show, before they had facial hair!
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lovemykidstoo 06:43 AM 01-17-2013
so did she come today?
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Blackcat31 06:46 AM 01-17-2013
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
Lol. I'm old. Noone knows arsenio. Lol
me too! I know who he is!

As a matter of fact, I feel like he was a later contender in the talk show wars....

I remember him from Solid Gold
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MarinaVanessa 07:04 AM 01-17-2013
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
Lol. I'm old. Noone knows arsenio. Lol
I know who he is!!!! And I'm 30!! Meaning ... I'm not old .

I also got to watch New Kids on his show. I loved watching him on The Apprentice.
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AllDeezBabies 07:06 AM 01-17-2013
Originally Posted by Trummynme:
My backbone is in full force this week. Coincidence that Aunt Flo will be visiting this weekend?

Honestly I'm one of THE most lenient providers around here. My policies are few, I'm willing to work with variable schedules, etc etc.

So yeah, good luck finding a provider who's even more lenient than I am.
YES *Balls up fist to the clouds*

So did she show up?? Huh? HuH? Give me moar!!
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melilley 07:25 AM 01-17-2013
Originally Posted by Lianne:
I do, I do!!

I remember when he had The New Kids On The Block on his show, before they had facial hair!
Me too!!!! Funny, this may be TMI, but I had my very first visit from aunt
Flo at a New Kids on the Block concert...lol
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cheerfuldom 07:36 AM 01-17-2013
ha awesome!

"dont let the door hit ya where the Good Lord split ya"


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julie 07:40 AM 01-17-2013
OP, this is so fantastic to read. Good for you!!!!

I totally know who Arsenio Hall. My Dad did the whoop-whoop fist pump at my Graduation...which was super embarassing but also has burned the image permanently in my mind.
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laundrymom 07:52 AM 01-17-2013
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
so did she come today?
????????? Update?
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allsmiles 07:54 AM 01-17-2013
HAHAHA

i know arsenio hall's show, AND the work he did before the show.. AND i still do the fist and bark when im excited LMBO and im 34!!!!
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daycare 08:15 AM 01-17-2013
i do know who the new kids on the block are, but since I did not grow up here, I don't know who the person is...

Im 39................................


I will have to you tube it...
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Lyss 08:54 AM 01-17-2013
Good job sticking to your guns! Any update for today?


Originally Posted by daycare:
i do know who the new kids on the block are, but since I did not grow up here, I don't know who the person is...

Lucky! lol! Its a late 80s and early 90s US pop culture thing
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laundrymom 09:53 AM 01-17-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
i do know who the new kids on the block are, but since I did not grow up here, I don't know who the person is...

Im 39................................


I will have to you tube it...
New kids were the one direction of the '90's. Lol
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daycare 10:16 AM 01-17-2013
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
New kids were the one direction of the '90's. Lol
oh one direction is the DCKs fav right now....on our pandora radio station every morning....
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melilley 10:31 AM 01-17-2013
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
New kids were the one direction of the '90's. Lol
I was thinking the same thing! I had everything from shirts to pins from New Kids! My daughter is almost 10 and her wall is plastered with One Direction posters and she has shirts and stuff.
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lovemykidstoo 10:35 AM 01-17-2013
My daughter is obsessed with 1D and I gave her 3 walls in her bedroom for the pictures. She is known as Mrs. Harry Styles!! She is 12.
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Hunni Bee 11:30 AM 01-17-2013
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
Lol. I'm old. Noone knows arsenio. Lol
I'm 25. I certainly remember watching the Arsenio Hall show as a child. (why was I up that late??)
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Starburst 11:37 AM 01-17-2013
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
Lol. I'm old. Noone knows arsenio. Lol
Lol I am 21 and I know who you are talking about
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BumbleBee 05:43 PM 01-17-2013
Sorry to keep you all waiting Haven't been on since early this morning.

Yes she showed up today. It is a scheduled day for her dck so it's all fine and good. She wasn't rude or friendly. Very business like.

She picks up at the end of the day. Here's the conversation:

Dcp: I called some other daycares.

Me: Oh good! You still have another week (letter is due next Friday by 6pm) so you can tour those daycares and find one that suits your needs.

*chirp, chirp, chirp*

Dcp: What do I need to do to keep dck here?

Me: Sign, date & return the letter before next Friday. Respect me, my home, and my time. If you don't feel you can do that consistently, don't bother. I have made it clear that you have crossed the line. I am willing to give you a second chance. If you lie to me again, ask for special treatment, show up without necessary supplies, cops an attitude, attempt to drop off early, pick up late, or break a single policy I will terminate your child care immediately.

Dcp: Thank you. I will have the letter on Monday.

So yes, I am giving her one more chance.

ETA: Guess who just CALLED (not text!) to ASK (not tell) if dck could come on an unscheduled day next week! She also nailed the total for drop in!

*Side Note* I know who Arsenio Hall is. I know who NKOTB are. Who the h*ell are One Direction???????????? I'm 28-Backstreet Boys, N*SYNC, & Hanson were plastered on my walls.
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EchoMom 06:07 PM 01-17-2013
Holy cow! I can't believe you said ALLLLLLLLL that! Did you REALLY?! I can't believe she said what do I have to do to keep her here, that's amazing! I WISH one family I had to term had had that response! Wow! Do you think that you'll be able to continue working together after this? Do you think she will be really bitter & resentful of you being so brazen with her? Not that it's bad you stuck to your guns, just that do you think she can really move on from it and not be out to "get you back" in some way? I'd be worried! But if she really turns it around that's amazing.

The fact that she asked and then you said all that and then she said she'd have it Monday shows some humility so that's great. I would think that if a DCP even had the guts to ask the question, I couldn't imagine someone responding so well after all you said. Wow!
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Starburst 06:15 PM 01-17-2013
Originally Posted by Trummynme:
Me: Sign, date & return the letter before next Friday. Respect me, my home, and my time. If you don't feel you can do that consistently, don't bother. I have made it clear that you have crossed the line. I am willing to give you a second chance. If you lie to me again, ask for special treatment, show up without necessary supplies, cops an attitude, attempt to drop off early, pick up late, or break a single policy I will terminate your child care immediately.
Wow I wish I had that kinda khutzpa
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ABCDaycareMN 06:31 PM 01-17-2013
Awesome response!

How old would you say the dcp is?
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BumbleBee 06:39 PM 01-17-2013
Originally Posted by EchoMom:
Holy cow! I can't believe you said ALLLLLLLLL that! Did you REALLY?! I can't believe she said what do I have to do to keep her here, that's amazing! I WISH one family I had to term had had that response! Wow!

Do you think that you'll be able to continue working together after this? I sincerely hope so.

Do you think she will be really bitter & resentful of you being so brazen with her? Not that it's bad you stuck to your guns, just that do you think she can really move on from it and not be out to "get you back" in some way? I'd be worried! But if she really turns it around that's amazing.

If she is bitter & resentful or out to get me back, I think-knowing how she is-it will be obvious.

The fact that she asked and then you said all that and then she said she'd have it Monday shows some humility so that's great. I would think that if a DCP even had the guts to ask the question, I couldn't imagine someone responding so well after all you said. Wow!
I was talking with my "2nd mom" last night about the situation and she recommended I think about what I would say if the mom asked to stay. She also recommended I think about what I would say if the mom got nasty. I had both scenarios laid out in my head exactly what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it. If it weren't for that I wouldn't have been able to say what I did.

Originally Posted by Starburst:
Wow I wish I had that kinda khutzpa
I didn't know I had it!
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BumbleBee 06:42 PM 01-17-2013
Originally Posted by ABCDaycareMN:
Awesome response!

How old would you say the dcp is?
Thanks! Early 20's. No older than 23.
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melilley 07:13 PM 01-17-2013
Awesome...I envy you! I hope I can have the courage to do that one day if it comes up! Oh, 1D or One Direction is the new NKOTB or Backstreet boys....lol My daughter is almost 10 and that's all she talks about...lol
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laundrymom 07:25 PM 01-17-2013
Holy crap!!!!
I'm so proud of you!!
Girl you got an arsenio battle cry, a Ron Weasley " bloody brilliant" a huge Indiana basketball foot stomp mosh pit mixed in with the flair of tony stark!!!!! Love it!!!
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melilley 07:34 PM 01-17-2013
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
My daughter is obsessed with 1D and I gave her 3 walls in her bedroom for the pictures. She is known as Mrs. Harry Styles!! She is 12.
Haha my daughter "loves" Niall. I hope I spelled that correctly or I'm in trouble...lol
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lovemykidstoo 08:12 PM 01-17-2013
Originally Posted by melilley:
Haha my daughter "loves" Niall. I hope I spelled that correctly or I'm in trouble...lol
I bet our daughters would get along so great!!
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AnneCordelia 04:41 AM 01-18-2013
Good job!!!! I always do easier when I lay out the conversations and scenarios in my head first too. You did great!!
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Meeko 05:26 AM 01-18-2013
I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall!

I am feeling very old.......I was the Osmonds/David Cassidy/Bay City Rollers era!!

In fact...to be totally honest....Donny Osmond still makes my heart race..Sexiest grandpa (and one of the sweetest people I have ever met) on the planet!!!!!
Attached: Donny+Osmond.jpg (20.8 KB) 
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Play Care 10:26 AM 01-18-2013
Originally Posted by Trummynme:
I was talking with my "2nd mom" last night about the situation and she recommended I think about what I would say if the mom asked to stay. She also recommended I think about what I would say if the mom got nasty. I had both scenarios laid out in my head exactly what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it. If it weren't for that I wouldn't have been able to say what I did.



I didn't know I had it!
One of the things I always do when I have to have those "talks" with dc clients is to practice in front of the mirror. I also try to envision different scenarios and make sure my responses are always professional. DH laughs when he finds me talking to myself in the mirror. Of course his next question is "who's in trouble?!"
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itlw8 11:22 AM 01-18-2013
Originally Posted by Meeko:
I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall!

I am feeling very old.......I was the Osmonds/David Cassidy/Bay City Rollers era!!

In fact...to be totally honest....Donny Osmond still makes my heart race..Sexiest grandpa (and one of the sweetest people I have ever met) on the planet!!!!!
Now I loved those boys in plaid glad I am not the only experienced one here LOL
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kitykids3 11:28 AM 01-18-2013
way to go

maybe I should start practicing in the mirror
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lovemykidstoo 12:03 PM 01-18-2013
Originally Posted by itlw8:
Now I loved those boys in plaid glad I am not the only experienced one here LOL
Love the Bay City Rollers. I live 15 minutes away from Bay City and the town to which they got their name! Saw them there back when I was a kid!!
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Blissful Kids 12:11 PM 01-18-2013
I can't tell you how many times my friend and I listened to Mmmbop! Also, I was a pretty big Jonathan Taylor Thomas fan. Oh and I'm almost 29 and may secretly think that New Direction is pretty cool. Guess that makes me hip with the twelve year old girls? =P
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Blissful Kids 12:12 PM 01-18-2013
Originally Posted by Blissful Kids:
I can't tell you how many times my friend and I listened to Mmmbop! Also, I was a pretty big Jonathan Taylor Thomas fan. Oh and I'm almost 29 and may secretly think that New Direction is pretty cool. Guess that makes me hip with the twelve year old girls? =P
I meant One Direction! Guess I'm not that huge of a fan...
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melilley 12:17 PM 01-18-2013
Originally Posted by Blissful Kids:
I meant One Direction! Guess I'm not that huge of a fan...
Haha I had to laugh...New Direction! I always get their songs stuck in my head, due to my daughter, and I have to admit I like some of them...shhhhhh
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daycarediva 04:32 PM 01-18-2013
Originally Posted by Trummynme:
Sorry to keep you all waiting Haven't been on since early this morning.

Yes she showed up today. It is a scheduled day for her dck so it's all fine and good. She wasn't rude or friendly. Very business like.

She picks up at the end of the day. Here's the conversation:

Dcp: I called some other daycares.

Me: Oh good! You still have another week (letter is due next Friday by 6pm) so you can tour those daycares and find one that suits your needs.

*chirp, chirp, chirp*

Dcp: What do I need to do to keep dck here?

Me: Sign, date & return the letter before next Friday. Respect me, my home, and my time. If you don't feel you can do that consistently, don't bother. I have made it clear that you have crossed the line. I am willing to give you a second chance. If you lie to me again, ask for special treatment, show up without necessary supplies, cops an attitude, attempt to drop off early, pick up late, or break a single policy I will terminate your child care immediately.

Dcp: Thank you. I will have the letter on Monday.

So yes, I am giving her one more chance.

ETA: Guess who just CALLED (not text!) to ASK (not tell) if dck could come on an unscheduled day next week! She also nailed the total for drop in!

*Side Note* I know who Arsenio Hall is. I know who NKOTB are. Who the h*ell are One Direction???????????? I'm 28-Backstreet Boys, N*SYNC, & Hanson were plastered on my walls.
You are amazing! I'll do the whoop-whoop for ya too!

One direction are quite popular. My daughter is ALSO known as Mrs. Harry Styles like a pp's daughter. She's 13.

My dcb(2) can sing the ENTIRE song "you don't know you're beautiful" and he can sing "gangnam style" and attempts the dance. When I walk into a room he yells "HEEEEYYYYY SEXAY LADY!"
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Blackcat31 08:03 AM 01-19-2013
From backbone to One direction?

Way too funny!!!!
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BumbleBee 03:51 PM 01-20-2013
The letter worked. I'm now being informed of schedule changes in a timely manner and respected. By Saturday night I had the weekly schedule laid out with everybody's requested days. I was able to plan, shop, and prepare for the week ahead without worrying about having too much or too little of something. What a weight off my shoulders!

Thank you all
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AquarianKid 07:41 PM 01-21-2013
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
I'm not giving you applause
I'm not doing the golf clap

I'm standing on the couch doing the arseneo hall fist pump and whowhoopwooopwoot! Battle cry!!!!
Hilarious! I flipping with you!
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daycarediva 03:48 AM 01-22-2013
Originally Posted by Trummynme:
The letter worked. I'm now being informed of schedule changes in a timely manner and respected. By Saturday night I had the weekly schedule laid out with everybody's requested days. I was able to plan, shop, and prepare for the week ahead without worrying about having too much or too little of something. What a weight off my shoulders!

Thank you all
great job!!! Congrats!
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