OK so today, on the radio, I heard a mom sent her kid to a friend's b-day party.
There were PB & J sandwich slices for the kiddos to have along with a plethora of other things
The mom told her friend "Don't give Johnny PB & J as he is allergic" and brought him celery sticks
The party host states that she'd seen the child eat a Reeses PB Cup the prior week and P B & J sandwiches before
and knew that the child was NOT allergic to PB & J and the mom had lied to her.
So she let the kid have PB & J and nothing happened, as (party mom) knew wouldn't.
The child's mom is VERY upset and said that party mom should have honored her wish,
especially after telling the kid was allergic but party mom argues that since she KNEW
the kid was not allergic and the boy was being made fun of, she didn't see the harm in
it.

Personally, I know a lot of moms lie, but I still would NOT TAKE the risk! You never
know when an allergy could develop.

However, moms who lie are RIDICULOUS! Why on EARTH! She states that she lied because
her kid is 'fat" her words...and she wanted the kid to eat 'healthy snacks' instead of
the 'cheap pb & j' her friend was serving.

I cannot believe a parent would make up a story like this. It sure makes parents look
bad and like liars when they say their child can't have something due to allergic
reaction.

Of course, since my kid is ACTUALLY allergic to PB & J, if I knew it was being served
I would NOT send my child. While HE may know not to eat it, kids with PB & J at a party
= big mess and he could come into contact with it anyway.

So I think they are BOTH wrong. Yes, the friend knew mom was lying, but should not
have served the kid the sandwich. And likewise, mom should not have made up a story. ESPECIALLY
to a friend who she had to have known had SEEN the child eat peanut butter before!

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They were both wrong, but if I had known that, at drop off when she said that I would have said "oh well I can't promise it won't happen I guess he shouldn't stay and you can explain to him why". Since the mother just didn't want him to have it she would have likely caved. If not, hopefully the child would see it was MOM who ruined it for him.

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Agree that both are wrong. However, even though THIS mom is lying, people with peanut allergies sometimes CAN eat peanuts (I'm one of those people). Not all peanut allergies cause anaphylaxis and death. For a mom to send her child to a party and ask him to eat celery instead of what the other kids eat is wrong.

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People say they or their children have allergies all the time to get away with things. It truly harms those that do have allergies bc it has the boy who cried wolf affect. I have heard parents claim that kids are allergic to juice or sugar at parties bc they don't want to sat that they don't allow their child to have those. People are not taking allergies serious bc of this.

Also, highly allergic foods should not be served at a children's party. Not the place for it. If pm & is the birthday boys favorite reserve that for the private family party.

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Yep, both were wrong but the mom was stupid about the whole thing too. If she wanted to curb her son's eating because he's 'fat' (I shudder at that word coming from a mom!!) do it on her own time, not at a birthday party! Was he not allowed birthday cake either? That whole thing just screams 'look at me, I'm the fat kid and can't eat normal kid food!', which is NOT the way to handle a child losing weight. That poor kid is destined to grow up with an eating disorder just because of the way mom is handling it.

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Sounds like a great friendship!

Makes the idea of being a loner that much more appealing ...........


Years ago I had a dcm who insisted her child could not have pb because of possible allergies (unfounded), yet on other occasions dcm had admitted to her child having had pb crackers.
I went along with it, told dcm that was fine, I would not serve her pb, but on the days that pb was on the menu, she would be notified and would be responsible for supplying her child's lunch that day. Dcm agreed.
On the day I announced to dcm that pb would be on the menu for lunch the next day, dcm quickly changed her tune, and stumbled through the explanation of no allergies, and how she was fine with her child being served pb

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It was on the Monday Morning Machaca with 99.9 JOHNJAY & RICH (WEST COAST CHANNEL) ; I bet it's on their website

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As a mom, if I was that concerned about what my child ate at a birthday party, I'd just stay at the party and supervise food consumption myself.
I'm guessing this mom didn't stay.
As a host, I would have not served him the sandwich (lawsuit reasons).
I also wouldn't have let the boy be teased for his weight or whacky mom or his "allergy".

"Hey mom, I'm fine with not offering him the sandwich and giving him your celery, but this is a party and I'm very busy hosting. Maybe you should stay and make sure he doesn't sneak one, I can't watch the food platters all the time. "

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I think it would be really hard to supervise at a bday party. So mom should have stayed if she had concerned. Also ... Mom is a tool for bringing celery sticks and calling her child fat.

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Hope I didn't come off wrong, I'm not criticizing you or your post.

My gruff is with how frustrating people's stupidity can be

The poor kid should've been allowed to have fun at a birthday party!
Mom should've stayed and observed her child if pb was that much of a concern.
Birthday mom should've told her that.

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My feeling is that if mom felt comfortable dropping the child off, he was probably old enough to know what he should and shouldn't be eating. When we've hosted events and have had kids with allergies, they are better at policing the food then we could ever be. If the mom didn't feel confident her child would do that, she should have stayed. I think it was wrong to put it on the hostess who may be too busy with other kids to monitor the one child's every moment - now I would never purposely serve a child something I know their parent didn't want them to have, but clearly the child made the choice to eat it (and that is very odd knowing the kids I know with allergies).

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Yep! I knew a little girl once who had a severe allergy, the first word she learned to read was "nut", so she could check ingredients herself by the time she was 3 or 4.

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The mom is wrong.

The party giver doesn’t have to respect anyone’s request. Also she does not have to supervise every child’s food intake at a party. She knew the child was not allergic. She did nothing wrong. She just ignored a lying mother’s request who should have been monitoring what her child ate if it was a real important concern of hers.

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Oh no! I was just trying to get everyone to the story, but I'm terrible about finding links. LOL It was broadcasted this morning on the radio on my way to work. The things I listen to!


OMG I FOUND THE LINK TO THE FB thing at least. I wanted to quote the podcast. lol

https://www.facebook.com/permalink.p...52451299196645

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I'm not sure about the party giver not having to respect anyone's wishes.... I believe when you invite people to come onto or into your property and/or home, you assume a certain amount of responsibility to provide a reasonable expectation of safety while there.

I would think that if a guest/child at this birthday party was allowed to swing (when a parent said not to allow the child to swing) and the child fell and broke their arm. I would think the host would be responsible for the medical expenses because it happened on her property under her watch.

I think it's similar to daycare, whether you are being paid to supervise or not, you are still agreeing to supervise and parents leaving their children have a right to have reasonable expectations about the safety of their child.

I don't know for sure but that's kind of my thoughts on it.


BOTH of them seem a bit "of" though so I can kinda see why they are friends.

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It’s my home and party. I am not planning for my guests. I am planning for my child. Yes, I understand safety is part of my responsibility. If, I ‘ve watch a kid down a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey; witnessed the same kid drink whole milk with no reaction; I am not going to respect the mother’s request to keep her kid away from dairy. I am going to tell her to monitor her child’s dairy intact and act accordingly.

I don’t know how anyone else throws parties. What I do is invite and state parents are responsible for your children during the party. I make it clear I don’t have time to babysit your kid. Parents who call about their special snowflakes allergies get, “You’re welcome to come. I am sorry Alice's chocolate and nuts allergies. My child’s favorite cake is German Chocolate. You are welcome to bring any snack/treat for your child if you decide to attend.”

Yesterday, I threw a BBQ. I didn’t worry about the vegans, gluten free, lactose intolerant guests. I figured they bring what they needed to eat. They brought their kids, food preferences, positive attitude and I wasn’t responsible for any of them. My floors weren’t wet. My dogs were crated and no hazards left on my stairs. Everyone had a good time. The herbivores and carnivores played nice.

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This post makes me sick to my stomach. I have a child who has life threatening peanut allergies. It is nothing to lie about or to take lightly. She is only 2, and I am dreading the days of drop off parties (is senior prom too soon for drop off?). For now, we bring our own food. She is well aware of her allergies, even if she does not know what it really means. She can even describe how to use her epi pen...she tells everyone "press it into your thigh and hold it for 10 seconds...but no way would I leave her at a party unsupervised. Even when she is older, unless the hostess or other responsible adult was trained in the use of her epi pen, symptoms of anaphylaxis and agrees to administer in an emergency, I just cannot see leaving her alone. Even when she is old enough to self-inject, a responsible adult still needs to be trained in case she is incapacitated and cannot. I cannot believe any parent would lie about this, and I cannot believe anyone would feed a child something they are told the child is allergic to. Had hostess mom been wrong, the outcome could have been fatal.

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Lying mom was wrong.

Totally understand party mom's side of it. This has happened to me before. If I know a mom is lying, I disregard whatever they said.

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Both women were wrong in my opinion. The mother of the boy should not have lied. She should have simply told the party host that she didn't want her son to have certain foods at the party and then provided the food she did want him to eat. Party host never should have taken it upon herself to feed the boy something his mother specifically said she didn't want him to eat. It doesn't matter that the other mother lied. The boy is not party host's child so what he eats or doesn't eat is not her decision to make.

Sounds a little like two day care moms I had years ago. Both had been close friends for years and their 2 daughters were also friends. Dcm1 held a birthday party for her child and invited the other girl. Dcm2 was a major control freak when it came to her dd's diet. She told Dcm1 to give her dd one slice of pizza - no more. The little girl was hungry and wanted a second slice so Dcm1 gave her a second one. Dcm2 freaked when she found out, an argument ensued and the friendship ended. I never understood Dcm2's need to control her dd's diet to the degree she did and I understand why Dcm1 gave the girl the second piece of pizza but .... when you get right down to it, it really wasn't her right to do what the other parent specifically told her not to do. Tough situation with a very sad ending.

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Not taking sides either way just stating some facts. Many people with an allergy can eat a certain thing & have NO reaction several times then all of a sudden BAM they could have a life-threatening anaphylactic reaction. So it is possible the child is allergic & isn't supposed to eat said item but possibly he can tolerate it. It's wrong of the mom to lie about it if that is the case & wrong of her to feed him some of these items if he has a true allergy. My son is allergic to peanuts. I do want to point out my son is 13 & he has some VERY compassionate/caring friends. These families go out of their way to make sure my child is safe. If it were not for me trusting other people from time to time he would be alienated & never get out with friends. It helps that he is very careful with what he eats - he has to be, a mistake could cause death.

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I'm curious about which mother took this to the radio station. They both sound wrong to me. Mom #1 sounds like a wackadoodle, but ultimately when you hear a child has a peanut allergy, whether you believe it or not, you don't give the child peanuts... so Mom #2 sounds like a moron. Why risk it like that just to prove someone's a liar? A child's health and life were (possibly) at stake... Mom#2 was just being a nosy idiot, IMO.

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My interpretation is mother #2 wasn’t testing. She knew due to witnessing the child on multiple occasions various peanut products. Mom #1 just wanted her to enforce a diet.

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If she didn't know 100% for a fact no questions asked confirmed by a doctor that the child wasn't allergic to peanuts then yes, she was testing it to prove a point. Either that or she simply didn't care.

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We just interpret the situation differently. She had witnessed the child while in her company eat a PB & J sandwich and Reese’s Peanut Butter cup in the past. I just think the mothers are acquaintances and the party giving mother ignored a request. I feel due to the way I entertain and give parties that each parent is responsible for their child. I agree the party giving mother didn’t care and I am right there with her.

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I am outraged and offended that PB&J's were being served at a kids party!! If they expect me to get dressed, drive across the street, and shell out money for a gift, MyChild had better be served a well balanced, organic, macro-biotic meal served by caterers wearing nomex gloves, hairnets with thorough background checks!!! They better not skimp on that goodie bag either, especially with such a lame menu.

Eh, sounds like a brilliant ratings boost gag to me.....

(if you don't speak sarcasm, please note it is thick in this post)

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bringing celery sticks and having the host deal with telling the kid no while you leave is just plain rude. I would not let another mom let me be the bad guy in this situation. i stand by my earlier post. lying mom was wrong. you shouldnt lie about allergies and you shouldnt bring your own food to a party when you know other food will be served and also when you demand the host to do your dirty work and tell your own kid no while the other kids enjoy.

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I know this is an older post but, my son is allergic to almonds, sesame and blue dye. We say he is allergic to nuts including peanuts because of cross contamination. We were told to avoid all nuts unless we know they aren't cross contaminated. He does eat peanut butter but, it is Peter Pan peanut butter. I specifically called the company and their peanut butter is not cross contaminated with other nuts or sesame or it would be listed. When a parent says a child is allergic to say peanuts, said child might not be allergic to peanuts but maybe another nut that could be cross contaminated with peanuts. My son eats pecans too but only if we know they came from his grandmothers pecan tree. He has eaten handfuls of almonds also in the past but he was diagnosed with something called Food-dependent exercise-induced anaphylaxis. It has something to do with him eating the offending food and then exercise. Unfortunately, we have had a few very close calls before we figured it out (blue dye in gatorade, almonds and exercise) and he now carries an Epi Pen! Also, if you every hear someone say they are allergic to exercise, they may actually be!!

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