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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Interesting Situation Yesterday
Msdunny 01:24 PM 10-09-2013
I am the provider who had the bed bug post yesterday. I had an interesting thing happen and wondered how you all would have reacted. I have let all my DCP's know what is going on from the moment I realized what was going on (Sunday morning). Closed Monday, then updated as needed. Treatment couldn't be scheduled until Saturday, so ended up being closed for the week.

I received an email after sending out the message concerning closing for the week. It was a reply to a Craigslist ad I had placed - but from one of my current moms! I replied (quoting here) "Umm, dcm, this is (Me). I am assuming dcb won't be returning. I will have his things ready for you to pick up, and per our contract will expect two weeks final payment (you can deduct one week since I am not available this week.). I have bent over backwards for my clients this year, to the point of remaining open even when my mother died. I am trying to protect not only my family by being closed this week, but also yours. Good luck with your childcare search."

The reply comes back - turns out grandma was 'trying to help out', but she was so rude to me! She told me she couldn't believe my tone! I couldn't believe it. What was I supposed to think, getting that email signed by a current client?! And I feel my reply was EXTREMELY civil and businesslike.

Loooong story short, I stuck to my guns and went with the assumed termination. I have his things packed up. So, what do you think? Was there a 'tone'? Maybe I didn't wait long enough to reply, and I can't 'read' the anger I was feeling? Go ahead - I can take it!!
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crunchymama 01:34 PM 10-09-2013
I personally feel that your tone in the reply was firm, direct, with an edge of anger. That being said, I think you did the right thing. It's better to take control of the situation and be proactive.
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Willow 01:35 PM 10-09-2013
How does grandma have access to moms email account?

And why would grandma have been trying to "help" unless your name was being slung through the mud already via the parents?

I do think there was a bit of a tone going on, but nothing undeserved. I'd venture to say most of us would be miffed to find out a family was shopping around like that without giving any indication there was any sort of problem.
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Leigh 01:36 PM 10-09-2013
Was there a "tone"...yeah. Was it justified...probably. Was it REALLY grandma? I doubt it. Just go with your gut.
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daycarediva 01:43 PM 10-09-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
How does grandma have access to moms email account?

And why would grandma have been trying to "help" unless your name was being slung through the mud already via the parents?

I do think there was a bit of a tone going on, but nothing undeserved. I'd venture to say most of us would be miffed to find out a family was shopping around like that without giving any indication there was any sort of problem.
Yes, tone but quite justified IMO.

Don't believe for a second that was actually grandma. That would have been more 'tone' from me and an immediate term for lying.
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crazydaycarelady 01:44 PM 10-09-2013
Busted!

I agree with Leigh!
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CedarCreek 02:18 PM 10-09-2013
Oooo. Mom got busted.

I think your tone and actions were fine. Better for you to term now before she tries to skip out on you while you're closed and not pay the two weeks notice!
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KidGrind 02:35 PM 10-09-2013
The only tone I interpreted was a firm one.
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Msdunny 02:41 PM 10-09-2013
Another fact I left out. My dh and I have been discussing the possibility that the bugs came from this family, because they had moved into a rental around the time the inspectors suspect the bugs came into my home. That said, we also traveled around that time, and they can come from anywhere. But 'grandma' did mention in her reply that she has dealt with them before and has a problem with them being in my home.

On another note.I have asked all my families to have an inspection with the company I used - it is free - and let me know the results. Everyone has done so at this point (except this family) and has no problems. Yay!!
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crazydaycarelady 03:07 PM 10-09-2013
Sounds like this might be a blessing in disguise!
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Shell 04:58 PM 10-09-2013
Originally Posted by Msdunny:
I am the provider who had the bed bug post yesterday. I had an interesting thing happen and wondered how you all would have reacted. I have let all my DCP's know what is going on from the moment I realized what was going on (Sunday morning). Closed Monday, then updated as needed. Treatment couldn't be scheduled until Saturday, so ended up being closed for the week.

I received an email after sending out the message concerning closing for the week. It was a reply to a Craigslist ad I had placed - but from one of my current moms! I replied (quoting here) "Umm, dcm, this is (Me). I am assuming dcb won't be returning. I will have his things ready for you to pick up, and per our contract will expect two weeks final payment (you can deduct one week since I am not available this week.). I have bent over backwards for my clients this year, to the point of remaining open even when my mother died. I am trying to protect not only my family by being closed this week, but also yours. Good luck with your childcare search."

The reply comes back - turns out grandma was 'trying to help out', but she was so rude to me! She told me she couldn't believe my tone! I couldn't believe it. What was I supposed to think, getting that email signed by a current client?! And I feel my reply was EXTREMELY civil and businesslike.

Loooong story short, I stuck to my guns and went with the assumed termination. I have his things packed up. So, what do you think? Was there a 'tone'? Maybe I didn't wait long enough to reply, and I can't 'read' the anger I was feeling? Go ahead - I can take it!!
Good for you! I agree that it was definitely the mom pretending to be grandma. What a ridiculous excuse she gave to cover up getting caught!
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Msdunny 10:02 AM 10-10-2013
UPDATE - The dad in this family (divorced couple) called me yesterday afternoon to ask me what was going on, since he had only gotten one side of the story. I told him everything, and he said that unfortunately this is not uncommon for his ex-wife and her family. Grandma takes over situations And they tend to burn daycare bridges wherever they go. He asked if I would consider taking his son back, and I had to say no, since mom and her family would be the primary people I was dealing with. I appreciate his willingness to fight for his son to be in my care - I do love this boy! But I just can't open myself back up for this type of thing happening again.

So I'm left to decide if I want to advertise for more, or just stick with 2 dcks for a while.
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preschoolteacher 10:37 AM 10-10-2013
Originally Posted by Msdunny:
I am the provider who had the bed bug post yesterday. I had an interesting thing happen and wondered how you all would have reacted. I have let all my DCP's know what is going on from the moment I realized what was going on (Sunday morning). Closed Monday, then updated as needed. Treatment couldn't be scheduled until Saturday, so ended up being closed for the week.

I received an email after sending out the message concerning closing for the week. It was a reply to a Craigslist ad I had placed - but from one of my current moms! I replied (quoting here) "Umm, dcm, this is (Me). I am assuming dcb won't be returning. I will have his things ready for you to pick up, and per our contract will expect two weeks final payment (you can deduct one week since I am not available this week.). I have bent over backwards for my clients this year, to the point of remaining open even when my mother died. I am trying to protect not only my family by being closed this week, but also yours. Good luck with your childcare search."

The reply comes back - turns out grandma was 'trying to help out', but she was so rude to me! She told me she couldn't believe my tone! I couldn't believe it. What was I supposed to think, getting that email signed by a current client?! And I feel my reply was EXTREMELY civil and businesslike.

Loooong story short, I stuck to my guns and went with the assumed termination. I have his things packed up. So, what do you think? Was there a 'tone'? Maybe I didn't wait long enough to reply, and I can't 'read' the anger I was feeling? Go ahead - I can take it!!
I think your tone was direct. No, it wasn't emotionless. You can tell by reading it how you feel. But I think your response was appropriate. I also seriously doubt that it was grandma...
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Blackcat31 12:53 PM 10-10-2013
Wow~ what a crazy chain of events.

I don't think you did anything out of line.

I think it is probably high time this family felt a little backlash from grandma's meddling.

I wouldn't have taken them back either and would probably have responded in the same manner you did although I don't thin I would have been as good at hiding my anger.

If dad could have agreed to take over ALL drop offs and pick ups, I may have considered keeping the child but then again, since you feel that the bed bugs may have possibly come from them...it's probably a good thing that things worked out this way in the end.

Hoping you are able to get back up and running soon!

Oh and I would continue to advertise until the right family comes along.
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cheerfuldom 01:25 PM 10-10-2013
everything points to grandma and mom lying and sneaking around. i am sorry you have been stuck dealing with people like this. parents have no idea how hard it is to keep a daycare home running! one time people bring in lice or bed bugs or a serious illness and the whole household suffers.
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Tags:bed bugs, busted
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