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  #1  
Old 01-15-2009, 08:13 AM
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Angry Mental Abuse

Hi
Could anyone tell me where to complain for mental abuse in a daycare.
My 2year daughter was in a home daycare and suddenly started to feel frightened of woman. In public if she saw a woman she started to close her eyes with hands and run to us and start to shiver.
We took to our pediatrician and she told that the child might have got fright from the daycare and we stopped sending her.
After 5 month of keeping her and slowly introducing her to people and getting specialist help now her fright has gone to some extent.
During this period I tried to call all regulatory office and they are not ready to take my complaint as they take complaints only if you have observed the abuse.
Please advice me how to proceed as I do not want other children to suffer at that daycare.

Last edited by Michael; 04-18-2009 at 09:03 PM.
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  #2  
Old 01-15-2009, 03:33 PM
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Before you make that complaint you had better make sure that it was mental abuse from the provider and not yourself!
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  #3  
Old 01-16-2009, 07:10 AM
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As a daycare provider, and a person that has 3 kids of my own, all of whom were in daycare at one time or another I really have a hard time with your question. It seems that you are getting ready to file a complaint against a provider with no basis or proof of anything happening to your child at all. Make sure you are being fair while at the same time protecting your child. I'd hate for you to trash the reputation of a provider (or attempt to) when you do not really know that anything happened. That's exactly why the regulatory agency will not take your complaint. Can you imagine if they did take complaints of every single person who just wanted to slander a provider for whatever reason?

I had a child brought to my daycare who had never been exposed to anything but her parents and her grandparents. She was almost two. She was here for a while and then they could not afford daycare anymore, so they pulled her out and had the grandmother, who is not in good health, watch the child again. The child did not know how to interact with other children, was deathly afraid of being away from her parents/grandparents since she had not experienced anything else, cried constantly, and would not talk, eat, play, or anything while here. I made some progress with her while she was here only to have her taken out.

Then, several months later, the parents' situation improved, and they called me back to see if I'd be willing to take her back. I agreed. We started all over from square one. The child was two at that time. After three or four months of trying to bring her around again, and dealing with bounced checks that messed up my account, the mom pulled her out again. This time I had the inside scoop on it because a friend of mine works with the child's grandfather. The mother never wanted to put her daughter in daycare because she did not want to pay the money. So, instead of telling me it was only going to be a temporary situation with her daughter in the daycare so I could keep a space available for people to call about, she kept it a secret from me AND her parents, and once she personally felt her mother had recovered from surgery enough, she forced her mother into watching her daughter by telling her mom and dad (who I have contact with) that she could never get a hold of me. Her mother is not well enough to watch her daughter, but she's pushing it anyway so she does not have to pay. Needless to say, her father knows now that she lied about the whole thing. All she did was call and leave me a single telephone message stating that she was going to pull her daughter and that her mother WANTED to watch her, so she was going to LET her. Will I ever take her back? No. Not worth my time. I had to focus 99% of my attention on the single child while she was here to keep her comfortable and teach her how to play with other children, to eat at the table, etc.

How do you really know that your child does not just want to be with you so much that she is reacting adversely to the provider when she sees her because she thinks that you will leave her with her? Did you ever try just going to the provider with your daughter and visiting for a couple hours, and then leaving with your daughter? Have there been any other complaints filed against the provider? How long have they been in business? Can you talk to other parents that take their child there? Surely you would have gotten to know some of them while your child was there? There are so many ways you can do more discovery work so that you will not have to feel terrible, and possibly face defamation of character and slander charges, or filing a false report charge should a discovery be made that in fact, the provider did NOTHING to your daughter.

You owe it to everyone involved to do the background work first before trying to just put this person in the eyes of the legal system with no basis.
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Old 04-16-2009, 08:23 AM
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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Before you make that complaint you had better make sure that it was mental abuse from the provider and not yourself!
You seem to be that type of person who is a provider and abuses children and then blames the parent. Grow up and dont post if you are going to be that immature or use your name.
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  #5  
Old 04-16-2009, 12:46 PM
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Former Teacher Former Teacher is offline
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Default Well....

[quote=Unregistered;11164]You seem to be that type of person who is a provider and abuses children and then blames the parent. Grow up and dont post if you are going to be that immature or use your name.[/QUOTE

Then why didn't YOU show your name? I still say this forum needs to go to a system where it's required to log in.
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Old 04-16-2009, 04:51 PM
sweetcinna sweetcinna is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
You seem to be that type of person who is a provider and abuses children and then blames the parent. Grow up and dont post if you are going to be that immature or use your name.
For the record sweetcheeks, I am registered here and i post quite often. I suggest that you register here also if you plan to continue to insult providers on this board............I still don't get how someone can make assumptions about someone and not even know them........
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Old 04-16-2009, 11:37 PM
GretasLittleFriends GretasLittleFriends is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
You seem to be that type of person who is a provider and abuses children and then blames the parent. Grow up and dont post if you are going to be that immature or use your name.
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  #8  
Old 04-18-2009, 04:40 PM
Ms.Sue Ms.Sue is offline
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My 2year daughter was in a home daycare and suddenly started to feel frightened of woman. In public if she saw a woman she started to close her eyes with hands and run to us and start to shiver.We took to our pediatrician .....fright from the daycare .......After 5 month of keeping her and slowly introducing her to people and getting specialist ....


This seems like an odd situation. Most children don't just become afraid of women (especially) it they have mothers, aunts, grandmothers, etc. Was she fine at daycare and then just started .....????? Was she comfortable going to daycare?? Did you speak with the provider???? It is very normal for 2 and 3 year olds to develop anxiety over their parents leaving though --- it can be very dramatic and many times it 'seems' that the child must be feeling fear of the daycare ---- when in reality -- she is just experiencing and learning how to deal and cope with seperation. I've had children from the age of 6 weeks - but as soon as they are around 2 years old -- they begin to act frightened at drop off time.....it's just a phase they go through unfortunately. I think your doctor was wrong to target someone - unless you had proof. Hope she's doing better.
As far as '''mental abuse''' please be very careful of damaging someone with this type of accusation UNLESS you have proof and would lay your life down to prove you are right.

Last edited by Michael; 04-18-2009 at 09:05 PM.
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  #9  
Old 04-18-2009, 05:34 PM
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Smile I agree

It sounds like seperation anxiety to me. I had a little girl that I adored who played well and was just a great little girl all around when she was with me and she never had any problems coming in, didn't cry when mom left or anything. But then, I saw her at the store with her mom once and she shrunk back when I came to say hi. It was just her way of saying "Hey, i'm with my mom. Don't take me right now. I don't wanna go with you right now." And that's OK. Kids develop a good idea of the schedule they're on, so they know when it's time to be with mom, and they don't want that mom time suddenly and unexpectedly interrupted. I don't think that behavior alone is grounds for filing a complaint.
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