Hitting, Pulling Hair

[midaycare]

I have a dcg who is a few week of shy of 2 years. She is slow with speech; dcm is checking into if there are issues or not. I think yes there probably are (with speech), but she is smart and understands directions well.

Every time I turn my back to do anything, another dck is screaming and crying because she has hit them and/or pulled their hair. Twice I have run over and found a handful of hair in her hand. Lots of times I have witnessed her smacking dck's.

I tell her "No, no hit." I have even tried time out with her, which I usually save for 3 and up, but that doesn't seem to work either.

I need tips! This can not go on. I don't care if she is frustrated because she is not talking or any other reason she is doing this. Dcg needs a very quick attitude adjustment.

[Jack Sprat]

I consider this normal, typical behavior for a child under two. Especially one who isn't communicating well. My advice would be for you to be her shadow. Basically you follow her or keep her by your side until it passes. Maybe instead of No, no bite. You could try taking her hand and rubbing her palm on the head and say "nice hands". Also, tell her it hurts when she does this.

This is how I would do it...Others may have better ideas.

[midaycare]

Originally Posted by Jack Sprat

I consider this normal, typical behavior for a child under two. Especially one who isn't communicating well. My advice would be for you to be her shadow. Basically you follow her or keep her by your side until it passes. Maybe instead of No, no bite. You could try taking her hand and rubbing her palm on the head and say "nice hands". Also, tell her it hurts when she does this.

This is how I would do it...Others may have better ideas.

I hope it passes quick. No one wants to play with her right now (surprise, surprise).

I will try the "nice hands" approach.

[melilley]

I too have a child who can't really talk either and I suspect a delay. He understands everything though. He used to be my biter, hitter, kicker, etc...
He was my shadow for it seems like ever. He started at 18 mo. and is now almost 3. I had him shadow me every day, did lots and lots of redirecting and I'll admit, it was a pain, but that's all I could do besides term. Now, he is better, he still takes toys, but is no longer biting. I think that it is somewhat normal behavior, but when the other kids are constantly getting hurt, it's not ok. None of my other kids do that, to that extent, and they are all younger. I should have termed, but couldn't so he's still here. I now will never keep a child like that again. It may be what some kids that age do, but it's tough when it's just you that's there.
All you can really do is shadow and redirect at that age. I also like the idea of showing her nice hands, that has worked for me in the past.

[midaycare]

Originally Posted by melilley

I too have a child who can't really talk either and I suspect a delay. He understands everything though. He used to be my biter, hitter, kicker, etc...
He was my shadow for it seems like ever. He started at 18 mo. and is now almost 3. I had him shadow me every day, did lots and lots of redirecting and I'll admit, it was a pain, but that's all I could do besides term. Now, he is better, he still takes toys, but is no longer biting. I think that it is somewhat normal behavior, but when the other kids are constantly getting hurt, it's not ok. None of my other kids do that, to that extent, and they are all younger. I should have termed, but couldn't so he's still here. I now will never keep a child like that again. It may be what some kids that age do, but it's tough when it's just you that's there.
All you can really do is shadow and redirect at that age. I also like the idea of showing her nice hands, that has worked for me in the past.

It's so nice to know I'm not alone. I really appreciate this forum.

[KiddieCahoots]

I agree with others with shadowing and redirecting.
I have one that age, receives EI services, and has only been with me a few months, that will full out.....take a child down to get at their toy. He's huge for his age at a whopping 41lbs! So he ends up hurting most.
I've pretty much learned to look for his cues, and when I see him going in for the attack, get to him first, call out his name, start singing....anything to get his attention, and redirect.
He is slowly getting better.

[Blackcat31]

Unwanted behavior is unwanted behavior.

I'd go with shadowing until she can SHOW you she is capable of keeping her hands to herself.

I had one (I'll call "J") a while back that would get upset about something and immediately go to the tallest kid in the room and try to snuggle into them.

Hugging or climbing on or just wanting to be cuddled.

The child had way older siblings that did alot of comforting and "parenting" at home so the child would seek out the biggest kid I assume in place of the older siblings.

"J" would get obsessive about it. Especially if the other kids said "no". The simple act of not welcoming the hugging....made "J" even more intense about it.

Anyways, one day I had said to mom that "J" had a particularly rough day and had to be redirected a 100x's for hugging friends that day.

The older sister was present and she immediately went "But J is only trying to hug them"

I had to explain to both mom and older sister that hugging was NO different than hitting if it is done without permission from the other person.

It is still unwanted behavior and the other children have a right to say no, J cannot be in my personal space.