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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>"Whiner Parent"?
laundrymom 11:05 AM 02-18-2015
Does anyone have a parent who is just a downer? Just, in general, someone who is a "glass half empty, I've had the roughest day ever, unhappy with life" kind of person?
I've a dad who is such a whiney, woe is me, my day went horrible" kind of guy.
Walking in, he asks how baby was, then offers up info on how hard his day was. Not work related, mind you. But griping about regular things.
Ex:
1. I've got one mad at me because he had to ride here with my radio station on"
2. The city didn't pick up my leaves yet
3. I'm late because I had to stop at the gas station so older bro could potty. He said he couldn't wait.
4. I was on hold w toys r us for over 40 minutes about blablalbla.
Etc.
My husband thinks Somehow, he's taken to conversing w me the way he would his wife (who works a late shift, hairdresser)
It's to the point where I smile, nod, add a few "wow, that's hard" or "how unfortunate"s
And move on w our day. He just stands there. Waiting for the interaction.
Am I handling it the way others would?
I've a dad who is such a whiney, woe is me, my day went horrible" kind of guy.
Walking in, he asks how baby was, then offers up info on how hard his day was. Not work related, mind you. But griping about regular things.
Ex:
1. I've got one mad at me because he had to ride here with my radio station on"
2. The city didn't pick up my leaves yet
3. I'm late because I had to stop at the gas station so older bro could potty. He said he couldn't wait.
4. I was on hold w toys r us for over 40 minutes about blablalbla.
Etc.
My husband thinks Somehow, he's taken to conversing w me the way he would his wife (who works a late shift, hairdresser)
It's to the point where I smile, nod, add a few "wow, that's hard" or "how unfortunate"s
And move on w our day. He just stands there. Waiting for the interaction.
Am I handling it the way others would?
daycarediva 11:12 AM 02-18-2015
I would redirect it back to his kid, each time. I try not to get close to dcds, for obvious reasons.
"That's too bad. Joey did X today. HAHA, he's so cute." as I got kiddo ready.
I have a WAY CHATTY dcd, and it drives me bonkers.
"Hey did you watch X? I love that show! What about X? What did you guys do this weekend? How's X doing? Did you see on the news that X? Man, this weather's something, huh?"
AHHHHHHHHHH!
I also don't like downer people, and typically only 'vent' like that to dh.
"That's too bad. Joey did X today. HAHA, he's so cute." as I got kiddo ready.
I have a WAY CHATTY dcd, and it drives me bonkers.
"Hey did you watch X? I love that show! What about X? What did you guys do this weekend? How's X doing? Did you see on the news that X? Man, this weather's something, huh?"
AHHHHHHHHHH!
I also don't like downer people, and typically only 'vent' like that to dh.
SuperNinjaMommy 11:13 AM 02-18-2015
haha yes I have one of these. Every morning someone's either hospital grade sick or injured and at the end of the day something super dramatic happened at work and she was totally take advantage of. I usually just say "that sucks" and move on with life but yah it's totally annoying.
Jack Sprat 11:33 AM 02-18-2015
I had a dcm like this. Constantly complaining about her commute to work, cost of daycare, how she wished she could stay home, how they were living pay check to pay check. Drove me bonkers. They are no longer here.
laundrymom 11:42 AM 02-18-2015
Yeah. This guys isn't griping about care, it's just his personality. The fam is great. I've had them for about 4 years but the last 4 mo is bad. Dad works an off shift and rarely sees mom. I know he's just venting but it makes me coo coo.
I guess I'll
Just keep glazing it over. I am half tempted to call him on it.
Like if his older gripes so much that he has to potty on the 12 blocks from school to my house. To their house.
Personally I'd tell my child to hush and hold it. But dad doesn't want kid mad at him.
I think that's what I'm going to start doing. Just offering my own advice?
Or maybe I should just keep collecting a paycheck and keep my big mouth shut. Lol
I guess I'll
Just keep glazing it over. I am half tempted to call him on it.
Like if his older gripes so much that he has to potty on the 12 blocks from school to my house. To their house.
Personally I'd tell my child to hush and hold it. But dad doesn't want kid mad at him.
I think that's what I'm going to start doing. Just offering my own advice?
Or maybe I should just keep collecting a paycheck and keep my big mouth shut. Lol
KiddieCahoots 11:58 AM 02-18-2015
Lol! Yup! At first it was kinda funny and interesting on what I'd hear, but I'll tell ya. Opening my mouth to question further or giving my advice was not the best idea. For me, it dragged it out into endless drop offs and pick ups of him talking, to the point that I asked my husband to no longer say anything in response, to try and get dcd out the door. The awkward silence before dcd left was a little obvious, but had to be done. 
....
....
Jack Sprat 11:59 AM 02-18-2015
Respond this way...
"Man here is how my day went. Little Joey came not feeling so hot but, no fever. He then puked all over my new carpet in the dining room, while I cleaning that up and making sure the other 8 kids were safe and in earshot, Suzy Q pinched Frieda. Frieda shrieked so loud that it woke the sleeping, teething and crabby 7 month old. Just as things were calming down and the mess was cleaned up, Joeys mom got here and Joey puked again! This time on his mom. Finally got them out the door. Frieda was still crying about being pinched. She is three ya know, and three yr olds can be very emotional. Finally, everyone was happy! Even the baby. I got lunch ready, nobody ate yet everyone took everything so all that food is now in the trash. We read, and got ready for nap. Thankfully, everyone slept. I got to spend my "break" doing laundry, paperwork, and reading about parents who whine all the time. Have a great evening!"
"Man here is how my day went. Little Joey came not feeling so hot but, no fever. He then puked all over my new carpet in the dining room, while I cleaning that up and making sure the other 8 kids were safe and in earshot, Suzy Q pinched Frieda. Frieda shrieked so loud that it woke the sleeping, teething and crabby 7 month old. Just as things were calming down and the mess was cleaned up, Joeys mom got here and Joey puked again! This time on his mom. Finally got them out the door. Frieda was still crying about being pinched. She is three ya know, and three yr olds can be very emotional. Finally, everyone was happy! Even the baby. I got lunch ready, nobody ate yet everyone took everything so all that food is now in the trash. We read, and got ready for nap. Thankfully, everyone slept. I got to spend my "break" doing laundry, paperwork, and reading about parents who whine all the time. Have a great evening!"
Blackcat31 12:02 PM 02-18-2015
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
Yeah. This guys isn't griping about care, it's just his personality. The fam is great. I've had them for about 4 years but the last 4 mo is bad. Dad works an off shift and rarely sees mom. I know he's just venting but it makes me coo coo.
I guess I'll
Just keep glazing it over. I am half tempted to call him on it.
Like if his older gripes so much that he has to potty on the 12 blocks from school to my house. To their house.
Personally I'd tell my child to hush and hold it. But dad doesn't want kid mad at him.
I think that's what I'm going to start doing. Just offering my own advice?
Or maybe I should just keep collecting a paycheck and keep my big mouth shut. Lol
This would be me. Yeah. This guys isn't griping about care, it's just his personality. The fam is great. I've had them for about 4 years but the last 4 mo is bad. Dad works an off shift and rarely sees mom. I know he's just venting but it makes me coo coo.
I guess I'll
Just keep glazing it over. I am half tempted to call him on it.
Like if his older gripes so much that he has to potty on the 12 blocks from school to my house. To their house.
Personally I'd tell my child to hush and hold it. But dad doesn't want kid mad at him.
I think that's what I'm going to start doing. Just offering my own advice?
Or maybe I should just keep collecting a paycheck and keep my big mouth shut. Lol
I am an eternal optimist and have a VERY hard time with the flip side.
I just don't understand so it's hard for me to relate to those types of people.
Even when I am angry, I'm optimistic.
I WOULD call him out on it. In rinse and repeat type manner.
Next time he makes some sort of "woe is me" remark I'd say "Well we all have the power to make ourselves happy so it sounds like you have some work to do. Don't forget to bring Joey's backpack tomorrow. We have a big day planned. Have a great night! See you tomorrow"
Next morning:
Daycare dad complains about something else....
Me "Looks like someone forgot who holds the key to happiness. Hope you have a great work day! Come on in Joey! We have tons of stuff to do today! Bye!"
I'd continue doing that until he either takes the advice or shuts up about his issues (to you anyways). He can be woeful to his wife.
KiddieCahoots 12:20 PM 02-18-2015
Originally Posted by Jack Sprat:
Respond this way...
"Man here is how my day went. Little Joey came not feeling so hot but, no fever. He then puked all over my new carpet in the dining room, while I cleaning that up and making sure the other 8 kids were safe and in earshot, Suzy Q pinched Frieda. Frieda shrieked so loud that it woke the sleeping, teething and crabby 7 month old. Just as things were calming down and the mess was cleaned up, Joeys mom got here and Joey puked again! This time on his mom. Finally got them out the door. Frieda was still crying about being pinched. She is three ya know, and three yr olds can be very emotional. Finally, everyone was happy! Even the baby. I got lunch ready, nobody ate yet everyone took everything so all that food is now in the trash. We read, and got ready for nap. Thankfully, everyone slept. I got to spend my "break" doing laundry, paperwork, and reading about parents who whine all the time. Have a great evening!"
Respond this way...
"Man here is how my day went. Little Joey came not feeling so hot but, no fever. He then puked all over my new carpet in the dining room, while I cleaning that up and making sure the other 8 kids were safe and in earshot, Suzy Q pinched Frieda. Frieda shrieked so loud that it woke the sleeping, teething and crabby 7 month old. Just as things were calming down and the mess was cleaned up, Joeys mom got here and Joey puked again! This time on his mom. Finally got them out the door. Frieda was still crying about being pinched. She is three ya know, and three yr olds can be very emotional. Finally, everyone was happy! Even the baby. I got lunch ready, nobody ate yet everyone took everything so all that food is now in the trash. We read, and got ready for nap. Thankfully, everyone slept. I got to spend my "break" doing laundry, paperwork, and reading about parents who whine all the time. Have a great evening!"
........love it!
Controlled Chaos 01:01 PM 02-18-2015
Originally Posted by KiddieCahoots:
Lol! Yup! At first it was kinda funny and interesting on what I'd hear, but I'll tell ya. Opening my mouth to question further or giving my advice was not the best idea. For me, it dragged it out into endless drop offs and pick ups of him talking, to the point that I asked my husband to no longer say anything in response, to try and get dcd out the door. The awkward silence before dcd left was a little obvious, but had to be done.....
I am always so tempted to question/advise etc - partly because I am excited to talk to a grown up by the end of the day Lol! Yup! At first it was kinda funny and interesting on what I'd hear, but I'll tell ya. Opening my mouth to question further or giving my advice was not the best idea. For me, it dragged it out into endless drop offs and pick ups of him talking, to the point that I asked my husband to no longer say anything in response, to try and get dcd out the door. The awkward silence before dcd left was a little obvious, but had to be done.
.... but it never goes well when I do. I am trying to get better at the blank stare or silent smile and nod
Unregistered 01:08 PM 02-18-2015
Originally Posted by Controlled Chaos:
I am always so tempted to question/advise etc - partly because I am excited to talk to a grown up by the end of the day but it never goes well when I do. I am trying to get better at the blank stare or silent smile and nod
This is me! I'm working on it too!I am always so tempted to question/advise etc - partly because I am excited to talk to a grown up by the end of the day
but it never goes well when I do. I am trying to get better at the blank stare or silent smile and nod Try walking over to the table and pretend to be writing. It helps
Unregistered 07:05 AM 02-19-2015
hehehehe
I had one too and it was the father
he was out of work and well complained about everything not the day care just the money and where we lived and no work ex
he felt the weight on HIM he had a wife who worked so 2 of them
I am single
I work 10 hours plus a day and do everything else myself
one day I had enough
but I said to his wife not him
" If he complains to me one more time how hard his life is I am going after him "
her responce " go for it "
turns out she went home and told him to never complain to me again
it worked ...guess she had enough too
I had one too and it was the father
he was out of work and well complained about everything not the day care just the money and where we lived and no work ex
he felt the weight on HIM he had a wife who worked so 2 of them
I am single
I work 10 hours plus a day and do everything else myself
one day I had enough
but I said to his wife not him
" If he complains to me one more time how hard his life is I am going after him "
her responce " go for it "
turns out she went home and told him to never complain to me again
it worked ...guess she had enough too
laundrymom 10:43 AM 02-19-2015
So glad I'm not alone.
Yesterday he started in and I handed him the baby, told him to have a great night and that I had to use the bathroom. Opened the door and smiled.
He was like
Oh. Umm ok. Well. We will talk tomorrow. And left.
Jeesh. Really? I'm not a bartender!! I'm day care. Lol
I think today I'm going to be mean. I've got three three ur old frozen freak girls.
I'm going to ask him if he's got a few minutes, then when he says yes, I'm going to have them sing the first time in forever. They have it down perfect !!
Monday maybe I'll have them sing let it go, or the fixer upper song. :-)
Yesterday he started in and I handed him the baby, told him to have a great night and that I had to use the bathroom. Opened the door and smiled.
He was like
Oh. Umm ok. Well. We will talk tomorrow. And left.
Jeesh. Really? I'm not a bartender!! I'm day care. Lol
I think today I'm going to be mean. I've got three three ur old frozen freak girls.
I'm going to ask him if he's got a few minutes, then when he says yes, I'm going to have them sing the first time in forever. They have it down perfect !!
Monday maybe I'll have them sing let it go, or the fixer upper song. :-)
Josiegirl 11:00 AM 02-19-2015
Hey, be thankful. At least you don't have to live with him.
daycarediva 11:30 AM 02-19-2015
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
So glad I'm not alone.
Yesterday he started in and I handed him the baby, told him to have a great night and that I had to use the bathroom. Opened the door and smiled.
He was like
Oh. Umm ok. Well. We will talk tomorrow. And left.
Jeesh. Really? I'm not a bartender!! I'm day care. Lol
I think today I'm going to be mean. I've got three three ur old frozen freak girls.
I'm going to ask him if he's got a few minutes, then when he says yes, I'm going to have them sing the first time in forever. They have it down perfect !!
Monday maybe I'll have them sing let it go, or the fixer upper song. :-)
So glad I'm not alone.
Yesterday he started in and I handed him the baby, told him to have a great night and that I had to use the bathroom. Opened the door and smiled.
He was like
Oh. Umm ok. Well. We will talk tomorrow. And left.
Jeesh. Really? I'm not a bartender!! I'm day care. Lol
I think today I'm going to be mean. I've got three three ur old frozen freak girls.
I'm going to ask him if he's got a few minutes, then when he says yes, I'm going to have them sing the first time in forever. They have it down perfect !!
Monday maybe I'll have them sing let it go, or the fixer upper song. :-)
Oh I bet he would LOVEEEEEEEEEE that! haha!
spinnymarie 12:00 PM 02-19-2015
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
So glad I'm not alone.
Yesterday he started in and I handed him the baby, told him to have a great night and that I had to use the bathroom. Opened the door and smiled.
He was like
Oh. Umm ok. Well. We will talk tomorrow. And left.
Jeesh. Really? I'm not a bartender!! I'm day care. Lol
I think today I'm going to be mean. I've got three three ur old frozen freak girls.
I'm going to ask him if he's got a few minutes, then when he says yes, I'm going to have them sing the first time in forever. They have it down perfect !!
Monday maybe I'll have them sing let it go, or the fixer upper song. :-)
Love this idea. Clearly he has plenty of time for it So glad I'm not alone.
Yesterday he started in and I handed him the baby, told him to have a great night and that I had to use the bathroom. Opened the door and smiled.
He was like
Oh. Umm ok. Well. We will talk tomorrow. And left.
Jeesh. Really? I'm not a bartender!! I'm day care. Lol
I think today I'm going to be mean. I've got three three ur old frozen freak girls.
I'm going to ask him if he's got a few minutes, then when he says yes, I'm going to have them sing the first time in forever. They have it down perfect !!
Monday maybe I'll have them sing let it go, or the fixer upper song. :-)
kathiemarie 02:57 PM 02-19-2015
I have a DCM like this. She drives me batty. For some reason I think I could handle a dad complaining more than a mom. I love BC responses, I'm going to have to try them.
Meyou 05:03 AM 02-21-2015
I had a friend like this and we had to part ways when she created two children who were exactly the same. It was too much to ignore coming from Mom and two kids.
Sunchimes 06:33 AM 02-21-2015
I think my DCDs are afraid of me. They come in, mumble a greeting, shuffle their feet, and leave. I'm not mean, we've never had issues, so I don't know why. I do stress my rules at the interview in a very nice way. I have grandkids their age, maybe they associate me with their grandma or something. Even my husband can't get a smile out of them with guy talk.