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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Why Are We Always the First to Blame?
melskids 10:40 AM 06-03-2010
family # 1......

dc girl has a bruise on the ear....parent asks me "who did it here?"

didnt you know i drag them around by their ears all day?!?!?!?

how do i knnow your not pulling her ears!?!?!?

family #2.....

dc boy continues to say "what the he**" on the ride home.

mom asks me who is swearing around him

didnt you know i teach them cuss words at circle time!??!?!

or is it you cussing at the car in front of you or dad cussing at the t.v. at night....oh no...surely you dont swear in your home.....


family # 3.....

wants to know why her child doesnt go to bed at night, am i letting her sleep all day?

didnt you know i give them lots and lots of tylenol PM before nap and they sleep all afternoon so i can watch my soaps in peace.....

or is it you just cant control your precious little one and need someone else to blame?


O.K. vent over......is it almost Friday?!?!?!?!?!?!?
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emosks 10:43 AM 06-03-2010
Luckily our families right now are sane. We had one though that was a real tool!!

And....it is ALMOST Friday!!
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laundryduchess@yahoo.com 10:46 AM 06-03-2010
I second that!!!!! Friday Friday tomorrow is Friday!!!!! I am more than ready for a friday!!!! maybe two!
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momofboys 11:22 AM 06-03-2010
Sorry you are dealing with that. I LOL with your repsonses. Regarding the swearing I think it goes the other way too. My kids have learned several foul words from the family I care for. Words DH & I never use! I also have to deal with how clean the kids are or aren't. One day 8 year old school-ager's face was slightly dirty at drop-off so mom asked me if I could give him a wash cloth so he could clean himself up. No problem. I did give him one & he did look better IMO. However, when she picked up she glared at him & said, "Didn't you ever wash your face?" Of course I think the comment was meant more for me than HIM. But geez, I have more to do than worry about how clean your child is! Especially a child who can do it himself.
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fctjc1979 11:30 AM 06-03-2010
The family that I already terminated thought I was pushing too hard when I was trying to help the five year old learn how to write her name. They also thought it was cute when people asked her how old she was and she held up five fingers. They got all huffy when they found out I was trying to teach her to say "five" instead.
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fctjc1979 11:41 AM 06-03-2010
The other one that's annoying is when you change a kid's diaper five minutes before mom comes to pick up and just before mom gets there, the kid manages to poop. It's obvious by the look on mom's face that she's wondering if you just didn't bother to change the kid. Most moms understand but every once in a while.......
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jen 11:47 AM 06-03-2010
Originally Posted by fctjc1979:
The family that I already terminated thought I was pushing too hard when I was trying to help the five year old learn how to write her name. They also thought it was cute when people asked her how old she was and she held up five fingers. They got all huffy when they found out I was trying to teach her to say "five" instead.
I had a parent who got huffy because I tried to teach their 5 year old to say chapstick instead of "mee-mee." Good Lord! That was adorable at 3, at 5 no one knew what in the hell the kid wanted...and if Mommy picked her up with chapped lips...well, heaven help us all.
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Janet 12:11 PM 06-03-2010
It is easier for them to blame us. It takes the accountability off of the (in their opinion) and makes it our problem. That's why I document every scratch or bruise and I'll be the one to ask how it got there. I forewarn parents that I run a pretty messy daycare, so don't dress your chhild in clothes that you care about. I also tell parents ahead of time that I won't wake a sleeping child and I won't let kids under 6 skip nap. I think that if parents would give their kids their undivided attention after they pick them up from daycare, they might find that the kid will go to bed without much trouble. They just need interaction. Not TV watching. Not running errands with mom or dad. Actual, meaningul interaction. I know that parents are exhausted at the end of the day and they want to relax. So do I, but I have a kid of my own that I hang out with after all of my daycare kids go home. I give my kid all of the attention that she wants from me, and she goes to bed just fine! I also think that some parents feel threatened by their providers and blaming the provider for everything somehow helps them feel validated as a parent.
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Greenshadow 03:49 PM 06-03-2010
I have a parent right now that thinks the food I serve is giving her son a diaper rash. He continuously gets one on Tuesdays or Wednesdays and its usually very bad. I have seen his poop and they are feeding him HEAVY amounts of spicy and hot types of foods. Foods with black beans in them. How do I know? Because I see it in his poop. If it sits on his butt any amount of time, it burns him up and even bleeds. I have to change him immediately. So I told her that if she thinks its my food (which is standard daycare type foods with no extra anything) to bring his food. So she has now. She feeds him all organic foods and only about 50% of the foods I serve are organic. I have been very adament about his diaper changes and feel that the rash hasnt come back because of the frequent diaper changes that Ive now started doing rather than the foods he is eating. The foods she is bringing is so similar to what I serve already. Its not the food. Its HER food at home and I think part of it was my lack of understanding how sensitive his skin is to his own poop. She thinks now that because he isnt getting a rash that she was right. I dont think so.
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originalkat 04:08 PM 06-03-2010
LOL! This post cracked me up! Parents are so annoying sometimes. It is too long to explain...but you should have heard the rediculous questions one of my dcp was asking me this evening.

I took a day off tomorrow for a conference so TODAY IS MY FRIDAY!!!!! YIPPEE!
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MarinaVanessa 04:24 PM 06-03-2010
Originally Posted by Janet:
I know that parents are exhausted at the end of the day and they want to relax.
If I wanted to kick back and relax after a long day at work I wouldn't have had kids. Game over once you have them. I agree 100% that if you play and interact with them they'll be fine and go to bed on time. After the DC kiddos go home guess what?! I still play with my own. There's no clocking out when you're a parent, or a mute button, or off switch lol.

And yes we get blamed for a lot of things because people in general always think that someone is to blame ... always someone else but never me.
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misol 08:24 PM 06-03-2010
Originally Posted by originalkat:
LOL! This post cracked me up! Parents are so annoying sometimes. It is too long to explain...but you should have heard the rediculous questions one of my dcp was asking me this evening.

I took a day off tomorrow for a conference so TODAY IS MY FRIDAY!!!!! YIPPEE!
Ahhh, now I'm curious!
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Chickenhauler 09:09 PM 06-03-2010
In a way, I'm kinda glad we have some idiot families.....no matter what, I can still look at them and say "Ya know honey, we're pretty damn good parents"
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professionalmom 09:47 PM 06-03-2010
Originally Posted by Chickenhauler:
In a way, I'm kinda glad we have some idiot families.....no matter what, I can still look at them and say "Ya know honey, we're pretty damn good parents"
Ditto on that. I can't tell you how many times, after the kids are gone, my husband just shakes his head, rolls his eyes, and said, "Idiots!" (refering to the parents, not me). Then my husband looks at me and says, "And you wonder if you're doing a good enough job with our daughter?! You're a genius compared to these idiots!" Thank goodness I have had those idiots, because it makes my hubby appreciate me all the more!
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momofboys 05:25 AM 06-04-2010
Originally Posted by Chickenhauler:
In a way, I'm kinda glad we have some idiot families.....no matter what, I can still look at them and say "Ya know honey, we're pretty damn good parents"
I used to laugh at the parents on Supernanny & the like. They always boosted my morale & made me feel like a GREAT mom. I never thought I'd refer to the parents as idiots but on occasion I do too!
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TGT09 05:54 AM 06-04-2010
Originally Posted by fctjc1979:
The other one that's annoying is when you change a kid's diaper five minutes before mom comes to pick up and just before mom gets there, the kid manages to poop. It's obvious by the look on mom's face that she's wondering if you just didn't bother to change the kid. Most moms understand but every once in a while.......
HAHA! I so can relate to this! I feel that way!
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safechner 08:05 AM 06-04-2010
I had daycare mother blame on me that someone scratched her toddler girl. Tell you the truth, I always check on the kids everyday (drop them off and pick them up) to make sure there are no scratch, bites, bruises, etc in my house and write it down on my log in everyday. Her mother asked, "Is that boy who scratched my little girl?" and I said no. I asked her to show me where it scratch and she showed to me and I told her no it is not him. She asked me how do you know and I showed her all of my log in book. She was so shocked and apologizes to me because she was so embarrassed. I told her that her little girl always scratch herself and she said that is what her husband said, too. After that, she never ask me again. What an idiot.


Last year, I had other daycare dad stopped by my house around 7:30pm while my husband helped me cook the dinner. My husband answered the door and I heard them start arguing FRONT of my kids. I stopped by them but I didnt know it was my daycare dad. I asked them what was going on. My husband said that he blamed on me that he pushed his two boys down so hard. I told his daycare dad, "that isn't true how can he pushed them down since he is not around them." My husband gets off around 6 or 7 and the boys went home 5:30pm, how is that possible?? The next day, I gave him a two weeks notice because that wasn't unacceptable behavior toward to my husband and front of my daughters. Later on, I found out that he was making up the stories to blame on my husband because he wants me so badly. EWWWW....
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professionalmom 01:46 PM 06-04-2010
Originally Posted by safechner:
Later on, I found out that he was making up the stories to blame on my husband because he wants me so badly. EWWWW....
Weird! All I can think of is "HOME WRECKER" (or attempted home wrecker). However, I never heard of a guy being called a home wrecker. I actually had a DCM that stiffed me then started trying to make up stuff about me because she had the hots for my hubby. You should have seen her in court, bad mouthing me but going on and on about how great my husband is! The magistrate's jaw was on the floor! Needless to say, I won.
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momma2girls 05:35 AM 06-05-2010
I had the weirdest parent get upset with me, because myslef and my 7yr. old daughter was showing the 4 yr. old daugher how to write a correct e, and not do it backwards!!! She ended up leaving over it, and she gave me a bad reference, because I was helping her daugher!!!!!!! I can't believe some parents!!!!
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fctjc1979 07:04 AM 06-05-2010
Originally Posted by Iowa daycare:
I had the weirdest parent get upset with me, because myslef and my 7yr. old daughter was showing the 4 yr. old daugher how to write a correct e, and not do it backwards!!! She ended up leaving over it, and she gave me a bad reference, because I was helping her daugher!!!!!!! I can't believe some parents!!!!
I know, it seems like parents are beginning to split into two categories - 1. parents who think their kids are advanced at everything and are going to be doctor/president/lawyer/entrepreneur all rolled into one and 2. parents who try to keep their kids as babies for the rest of their life. Where did all the normal kids and parents go?
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melissa ann 07:36 AM 06-05-2010
g-pa treats his 4 1/2 yr old son like a baby. He does everything for him. During the day, I do not put up with that. He puts his cup/plate in the sink when's done. If he doesn't finish his food, he puts in the trash. And he's even been practicing writing. ( a lightbulb must have just switched on this week). When he's done with his paper, he smiles and says he's a big boy and if I'm proud of him. I always tell him that I am proud of him and that he's doing well. He doesn't get this postitive enforcement at home. At home he just watches tv or goes to the playground. He doesn't have any puzzles at home either and this boy really loves to do the board puzzles for ages 3-7.

Thursday when dcb's aunt pick the kids up, he showed her his paper and said mom helped him. I also tell the kids to say my name and I will correct them even in front of the parents. Well, this aunt made a face. Then yesterday, her 3 yr old daughter wanted a hug before she left and said bye mom. I told her it's "my name here" She said but you're a mom too. So I said, okay, I'm a mom too. But her mom looked furious. Now, I have this kids 11 hours/day. IT means nothing to me. Heck, my kids call g-pa, papa, like the other kids do. And all of the dck call both my mil and mom, grandma. Some people are just too touchy. I understand people need to work. But her schedule varies and sometimes she works day,like 6-4 and some times it's 2-midnight so she doesnt' see her kids very much. .
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momma2girls 12:39 PM 06-05-2010
Originally Posted by fctjc1979:
I know, it seems like parents are beginning to split into two categories - 1. parents who think their kids are advanced at everything and are going to be doctor/president/lawyer/entrepreneur all rolled into one and 2. parents who try to keep their kids as babies for the rest of their life. Where did all the normal kids and parents go?
I am with you there!!! I just had one so interested in the position I had open, and I hadn't heard back from her- so I sent her an email last week, re. it. She writes back, she definately wants the spot, and she will send the contract and dep. right away to me. THis week still nothing!! I finally emailed her and said I cannot hold the spot for her, unless I receive everything. I haven't heard back from her now, it's been 5 days!!!
Plus, I went thru my old waiting and contact list, and low and behold I found her name, in there, about 2 yrs. ago, called me set up one appt. and no call no show, then took guts even set up one more, no call no show!!! I couldn't believe I found it in there. SO I wrote to her, and told her this, and told do not contact me again, this was very rude to even waste my time!!!!
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