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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Update to the Stye Situation - VENT
MamaBear 09:42 AM 08-25-2011
I posted last Friday about one of my DCG (14 month old) coming to the daycare with a Chalazion stye (ingrown eyelashes) under one of her eyes. It didnt look that bad on Friday and the mom provided me a dr's note over the weekend stating that it was non-contagious and not painful.

Monday the girl comes back and OMG... she has them under both her eyes. At that point they were small pink puffiness under both eyes. Tuesday the mom chose to keep her home because the dr said she needs warm compresses on her eyes every 2 hrs - which obviously I cant do all the time.

She returns on Wednesday and I almost fainted. The styes were SO much worse than 2 days before. The puffiness had increased and now the entire under eye area was bright red & puffy like big bags under the eyes...about the size of peanut M&M's. The mom stated that she didnt want to bring her but had this super important meeting at work & reassured me that the styes dont hurt (how could they not?!) and that her grandpa was going to pick her up really early. How early I asked and she said in a couple hours... that would be @ 9am. I guess I was in shock and so I let her stay. I look back now and I should not have let her stay the day at all.

Well the hours fly by and grandpa doesnt come. After nap time her styes had doubled in size!!! Looked like she had large size grapes under each eye and literally looked like they were going to burst. Her face looked in pain & she was squinting to see. Totally swollen and just awful to look at. I started calling the mom and text her pictures too. No answers and no responses. I emailed her as well. The grandpa cant be reached either but finally comes about 4:15pm! Later than normally picks up.

I told the grandpa about the day and how the mom couldnt be reached...or him. He said the mom was keeping her home tomorrow (today) because the dr thinks the styes will burst any time now. He says they thought & were hoping it would happen here while she was here!!!! WTH??? I told the grandpa that I'm glad shes staying home tomorrow (today) and that I'd also need her to stay home Friday because I cant have a child here at the daycare with any type of oozing blood, discharge, puss, etc going on. He said he agrees. Plus being home she can have the constant warm compresses, etc.

Anyway - the mom calls and leaves a message about 7pm last night saying that she will keep the girl home today and that she will keep her home Friday if I really want her to. But could she get "credited" on her daycare payment for next week since she missed 3 days this week!!!! Are you kidding me???

My policy is super clear and in black & white that Regular payment is still due even if your child is absent due to an illness. I couldn't believe she asked me that. I responded that I cannot credit her for the sick day absences... Please refer to my policies, blah blah blah.

Besides being irritated with the mom for asking about getting credited her sick days - I just cant believe she still brought her to daycare with her eyes this bad. You guys would faint if you saw a picture of how they looked. I also cant believe she wouldnt answer my calls, texts and emails until the day was over. And I cant believe that she would bring her in the first place knowing & hoping that the styes would burst here! Really?

I'm glad shes not coming today and tomorrow and I hope that they are healing by Monday. I cant allow a toddler who touches everything, to be here with puss & blood oozing from her eyelids. I feel so bad for her because it looks so painful, yet the mom insists that it doesnt hurt whatsoever. I dont understand how she thinks that when the girl is constantly touching it, crying thru naps and super uncomfortable.

Another issue with this was that my other daycare parents were all really freaked about the whole thing. They had so many questions about it and if it was contagious, what if they pop, and all kind of things. I had to educate myself on it so I could make sure they know that its not contagious and not to worry. I think they were more feeling bad for the DCG and also hoping that it wouldnt burst here (me too!).

Thanks the good Lord that next Thursday is her last day. They are moving out of state. I adored the DCG, but her mom was a real piece of work. Some parents just amaze me...
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laundrymom 09:47 AM 08-25-2011
I'm in tears, I wish I could come give you a hug.

Let me start by saying that. Next I'm going to hit send before I type what I'm thinking, after I calm down I'll post again.
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MamaBear 09:50 AM 08-25-2011
I have this feeling that the mom is going to call or email me today and say that she isn't bringing her back again... only because she is probably mad that I wont credit her days. Thats the type of person she seems to be. I wont be surprised if that happens. I think I would actually be relieved if that does happen.
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Koukla 09:51 AM 08-25-2011
omg that is just crazy.. what mother does not respond to a text or call that there is something wrong with their child. I am so sorry you had to go through this. I hope she gets better soon.
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DaycareMama 10:48 AM 08-25-2011
That poor child I hope she feels better soon. Thank goodness she will be out. I coulndn't imagine having them burst while in your care. How tramatizing for the other children as well to see their friend in such pain. Hugs all around!
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laundrymom 10:56 AM 08-25-2011
Ok keeping emotion out of this,

My 13 yr old got styes when younger. Hers hurt. Badly. The pressure, the heat. It was horrible. I would use a sinus mask, warmed, as hot as she could stand it. 10 min on, 5 off. All day long. It killed me to see her. I could not imagine a MOTHER ignoring their Childs discomfort. I can't say what I would have done in your situation. I would like to think I would have not harmed the woman but I can't promise anything. I would have texted it was worse, given it 10 min. Called her at work, called her main number at work explaining I was her provider and her child was very I'll. I then would se
Nd her a text and voicemail letting her know I was giving her 10 minutes to get ahold of me or calling ambulance or authorities. If she didn't respond I would call authorities telling them I am unable to get mom to respond, that child has grape sized lumps under eyes and that it looks like she will burst. Have them take over trying to get mom to parent. I also would term immediately. I would not accept a child for care whose parents ignored my contact. That poor kid. I just ache for her.
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Kaddidle Care 11:03 AM 08-25-2011
That poor kid! I've never heard of Styes getting that big. How awful - and not even any Tylenol for the child for pain? That's just torture!

I can't believe the Grandpa told you they were HOPING they would burst at Daycare. What a bunch of nut jobs!
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momofsix 11:08 AM 08-25-2011
Oh that poor little girl. I truly don't understand how any meeting in the world could be more important than the wellbeing of a child In my eyes that mom is guilty of neglect. She purposely ignored your calls-Im sure she know from the beginning that you would be calling and had already decided to not answer for the day.
I really can't believe they wanted them to burst at your house how horrible for the child, and how rude and disrespectful of you and the others in your care. Although, it probably would have been better for the little girl at your house-at least you would give her loving!
Unbelievable!
Hugs to you for taking care of her like you did.
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morgan24 11:19 AM 08-25-2011
I can't believe dcm said they aren't painful. I have one on the top of my eye lid and it's itchy and very painful. I have been putting compresses on it to try to get it to come to a head quick. I don't blame you for making her stay home both days, they are messy when they finally burst. I wouldn't credit her for any days.
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kimsdaycare 11:26 AM 08-25-2011
She's leaving the state? Is she staying with the same employer or leaving them as well? You sure her important meeting wasn't more of a Bon Voyage celebration at work??

I'm only half kidding.

If you are on your last days of work at your employer would you honestly care more about whatever meeting they were having than taking a sick day? You are probably not a big part of any new projects or anything at this point. You're in clear out the desk mode.

Now if she's transferring, that's different. But no meeting goes all day with no break.

Don't get me started on the grandpa's coming early part. He just didn't wanna deal with stye juice either. They lied to get you to keep her.

I'm sorry for today but happy your last day is near!
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MamaBear 01:33 PM 08-25-2011
Originally Posted by kimsdaycare:
She's leaving the state? Is she staying with the same employer or leaving them as well? You sure her important meeting wasn't more of a Bon Voyage celebration at work??

I'm only half kidding.

If you are on your last days of work at your employer would you honestly care more about whatever meeting they were having than taking a sick day? You are probably not a big part of any new projects or anything at this point. You're in clear out the desk mode.

Now if she's transferring, that's different. But no meeting goes all day with no break.

Don't get me started on the grandpa's coming early part. He just didn't wanna deal with stye juice either. They lied to get you to keep her.

I'm sorry for today but happy your last day is near!
YES... thats the part that really confuses me... She is moving out of state and next week is her last week at this job. And it was only a temp job! SO I dont understand why a meeting there would be so important! If I was her I would just quit the job early and deal with my daughter's problem.

I bet your right about grandpa... he was waiting and hoping it would pop at my house. Errrr... makes me madder thinking about it. I'm sure the mom knew he wasnt coming early too. I agree with you too Laundrymom... I feel like I should terminate them. Now its so close to the end though so I'm not sure what to do. I really dont want to deal with this same situation on Monday. If she comes Monday morning and it still looks bad, I will just have to send her away again. Such a headache.
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wdmmom 01:45 PM 08-25-2011
This is terribly sad! Although I don't know anything about styes, I must question whether the mom actually took her daughter to the doctor or just got a note.

If I ever encountered such a situation, you can be assured that I would request a note along with a diagnosis, treatment plan, etc.

And as for grandpa...I would have asked him where he was at 9am?! And instead you had her all day.

I think I would have sent the belongings home that day!
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laundrymom 07:21 PM 08-25-2011
Originally Posted by wdmmom:
This is terribly sad! Although I don't know anything about styes, I must question whether the mom actually took her daughter to the doctor or just got a note.

If I ever encountered such a situation, you can be assured that I would request a note along with a diagnosis, treatment plan, etc.

And as for grandpa...I would have asked him where he was at 9am?! And instead you had her all day.

I think I would have sent the belongings home that day!
Yes!!!!!! Gps would be taking her belongings with him , contract would be termed on the spot due to ignoring my contact about a medical condition.
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MamaBear 08:01 AM 08-26-2011
Originally Posted by wdmmom:
This is terribly sad! Although I don't know anything about styes, I must question whether the mom actually took her daughter to the doctor or just got a note.

If I ever encountered such a situation, you can be assured that I would request a note along with a diagnosis, treatment plan, etc.

And as for grandpa...I would have asked him where he was at 9am?! And instead you had her all day.

I think I would have sent the belongings home that day!
I did get a dr's note last weekend and it stated that she had "Chalazion Styes" in both eyes and that its not painful and completely non-contagious. It said that she needed warm compresses every 2 hrs and this ointment put on. But the mom said they were only going to do compresses at home & meds at home. So weird. I'm sure her condition got worse than it may have if they just kept her home. The note also said it wasn't painful at all and that she is totally ok to be in a childcare setting. Doesnt it sound like the mom told the dr what to write word for word? Sheeze...

I also did question the grandpa about not being able to be reached. He said he was working & didnt know that he was supposed to come early. So the mom was lying obviously. Oh well. I'm just SO glad next week will be IT. And if her eye is not healed (no discharge at all) by Monday she wont be coming anyway.
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momofsix 11:21 AM 08-26-2011
Very interesting, when I googled "chalazion stye" it says that a "chalazion" is not even a "stye". They are two different things, caused by different things. The chalazion isn't usually painful like a stye is, but it can be. Even if the Dr. truly did say it shouldn't be painful mom is still responsible for looking at her own child and seeing that it obviously was.
I'm still fuming over this poor child's treatment by her mom/grandpa
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MamaBear 11:36 AM 08-26-2011
Originally Posted by momofsix:
Very interesting, when I googled "chalazion stye" it says that a "chalazion" is not even a "stye". They are two different things, caused by different things. The chalazion isn't usually painful like a stye is, but it can be. Even if the Dr. truly did say it shouldn't be painful mom is still responsible for looking at her own child and seeing that it obviously was.
I'm still fuming over this poor child's treatment by her mom/grandpa
Funny you say that because I found the same thing. The dr even wrote "Chalazion Stye" on her drs note. Interesting huh? Chalazia is ingrown eyelashes that look just like styes. The mom constantly called it styes to me and so that confused me when I looked it up on google, its not really considered a stye.

If its a stye or if its chalazia... Either way there is puss & blood that will come out of them when they burst... So either way is not allowed to be here. I found out that styes are very contagious if a child touches the discharge and that discharge gets into another child's eyes... Chalazias are not contagious. But if the mom is calling it a stye & a chalazia, what am I supposed to think? I'm highly considering terming them today or over the weekend and getting it over with. I really dont want to deal with the mom next week on her last week.
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Kaddidle Care 03:22 PM 08-26-2011
I don't blame you. They are leaving anyway and the way both you and the child were treated was just plain wrong.

Someone should have gotten back to you when you called. That plus the Mom told you the child would be picked up by 9:00 AM. The Dr.'s note said that she needed warm compresses every 2 hrs and this ointment put on.

That means they didn't follow Dr.'s orders at least 4 times that day. Can you say Neglect?

The fact that other parents were shocked and asking about it says to me the child shouldn't have been left there. Poor thing.
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Tags:contagious, credit - days, eye infection, stye
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