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SunshineMama 02:34 PM 09-10-2013
it just didn't feel right. I dont know why. Was it the pacifier that never left the 13 month old child's mouth the entire time he was here? The aloofness of the dad? The mom and dad talking about how they can only handle one child and cant imagine how people handle more than one? Or their comments mocking any kind of educational activities for littles?

I just cant figure it out, because all of those things are minor...right? Am I being paranoid? I am bothered bc I cant pin it down. They left, asking me to email references. But I am interviewing and I dont want to give out a bunch of references to every family I interview if I dont feel comfortable with the family.

Thoughts?
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Michael 02:37 PM 09-10-2013
We have a whole section on Red Flags: https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=red+flag
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SilverSabre25 02:37 PM 09-10-2013
"Dear [parents],

Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with me today! It was great getting to talk with you and [child] seems like a really sweet child. I know you asked me to email references to you, but I just don't feel like my program is going to be the right fit for your family at this time.

Good luck with your child care search!

All the best,
SunshineMama"
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Heidi 02:39 PM 09-10-2013
Hmm...too bad you forgot to email those...

Honestly, I think you should just pick another family. If the vibe is not there, it's not there.

Since you have their email, wait a day or so, then send them a very nice email thanking them for their time, it was nice to meet them, but you've chosen another family because it was a better fit for your program. Best of luck in your search, and you hope they find just the right place for little kiddo.
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lovemylife 02:45 PM 09-10-2013
I don't hand out references until the second interview. I don't want to "use up" my references. Go with your gut! I personally don't see a problem with a 13 month old having a binky. My 19 month old has some sensory "issues". So he still has one, we are currently working with an occupational therapist to help him over come his battles.
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countrymom 03:02 PM 09-10-2013
if your gut says no then don't do it.
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Starburst 05:23 PM 09-10-2013
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
it just didn't feel right. I dont know why. Was it the pacifier that never left the 13 month old child's mouth the entire time he was here? The aloofness of the dad? The mom and dad talking about how they can only handle one child and cant imagine how people handle more than one? Or their comments mocking any kind of educational activities for littles?

Thoughts?
The binky- I personally don't have too much of an issue with until they are closer to 2 years old (13 month old is still a new 1 year old). But if for some reason I did have an issue with it, I could work on weaning (at daycare... at least). They may just not know better about milestones and weaning, or it's just not a big issue to them (picking their battles). http://www.babycenter.com/408_when-s...ier_1368496.bc

Dad's aloofness- Lots of guys are like that. Especially when they think they have to negotiate prices or policies (not that he has a prayer in this case lol). He probably just didn't want you to think they were too eager to leave room for 'negotiation' .

Mom and dad talking about being one and done/ can't handle more than one child at a time- Some people just aren't good with young kids. To some people having a kid (at least one) is more like a status statement, a life step ("We been married for 5 years, lets have a kid"), or just a surprise pregnancy (they could have used condoms, BC pills, a diaphragm, spermicide, and both had vasectomy and tubal ligation but still got pregnant {though unlikely}). It's all sad, but true. Also some people don't have the patience for more than one child at a time, I would see that as a complement that they understand you have a hard job that many people don't have the skills/knowledge/instinct for.

Mocking education activities for younger kids (assuming toddlers and preschoolers)- That one would get under my skin. I think every experience for young children is a learning experiences (can be both good and bad). The more excited and supportive the parents are in a child's education (especially from the beginning), the better the child will do. If education is one of the principles of my business, then I would see that as they don't take it seriously enough and that they are not a good fit. If they don't respect your philosophy, they probably won't respect you.

Just for the last one alone I would definitely pass them over- especially if you have other interested families.
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jenn 05:34 PM 09-10-2013
I would follow your gut instinct. I have taken families that I just did not have a good feeling about, and it has never turned out well.
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Familycare71 05:45 PM 09-10-2013
Originally Posted by jenn:
I would follow your gut instinct. I have taken families that I just did not have a good feeling about, and it has never turned out well.

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Cat Herder 06:26 PM 09-10-2013
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
Thoughts?
Superb use of sarcasm in your thesis.

My sides ache from laughing.....
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JoseyJo 08:07 PM 09-10-2013
Originally Posted by Starburst:
Mocking education activities for younger kids (assuming toddlers and preschoolers)- That one would get under my skin. I think every experience for young children is a learning experiences (can be both good and bad). The more excited and supportive the parents are in a child's education (especially from the beginning), the better the child will do. If education is one of the principles of my business, then I would see that as they don't take it seriously enough and that they are not a good fit. If they don't respect your philosophy, they probably won't respect you.

Just for the last one alone I would definitely pass them over- especially if you have other interested families.
I agree- the others wouldn't bother me that much, but mocking educational activities would be an automatic "Not a Good Fit"
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melilley 10:49 AM 09-11-2013
Sometimes the vibe is just not there and that's ok! I had an interview on Friday and they said they would call Monday and didn't, but I'm kind of relieved. They didn't really do or say anything in particular that put me off, but, I don't know, I just wasn't into them.
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