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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Interview...The Kid Sounds Perfect, but..
SilverSabre25 07:29 AM 07-28-2011
I have some major concerns about mom. She's just coming off daycare assistance, wouldn't stop bashing her current babysitter (called her a twit at one point during the interview), kept going on about how much she LOVES the large chain center/school her daughter currently attends (but has to stop due to money but can keep going 2 days a week until October), and when I was trying to explain things like our typical menu she kept interjecting comments like "Oh we'd starve, oh we couldn't do that"--um, all I said was I don't serve chicken nuggets and french fries and that sort of thing, so I'm concerned on that score. She kept going on about random things that didn't have anything to do with me, child care, or the interview.
I feel like her story wasn't completely straight--she kept talking about her current babysitter, but apparently her dd goes to a large corporate chain. She told me on the phone her dd loves fruits and veggies but told me in person that her dd loves cheese.
Something about mom just set me off a bit. She said that she wanted to make sure I'm not "like, a baby killer or anything" but didn't know what she wanted to ask to determine this for herself. She had almost no specific questions for me, which is fine...when the parents don't seem concerned about me, which she did.
Since I really, really do NOT want another flaky, problem family, I know what I need to do. I guess I just need to know that I'm not the only one seeing red flags here?
I feel like her story wasn't completely straight--she kept talking about her current babysitter, but apparently her dd goes to a large corporate chain. She told me on the phone her dd loves fruits and veggies but told me in person that her dd loves cheese.
Something about mom just set me off a bit. She said that she wanted to make sure I'm not "like, a baby killer or anything" but didn't know what she wanted to ask to determine this for herself. She had almost no specific questions for me, which is fine...when the parents don't seem concerned about me, which she did.
Since I really, really do NOT want another flaky, problem family, I know what I need to do. I guess I just need to know that I'm not the only one seeing red flags here?
GretasLittleFriends 07:48 AM 07-28-2011
Red flags??? It's more like a red good-year blimp!!! Screams "Noooo!!! Run!!!! Stay far away!!!"
Just my .02.
Just my .02.
flightlessbird11 08:03 AM 07-28-2011
I definetely saw some huge red banners waving!
Doesn't sound like this family is worth the headache.
Doesn't sound like this family is worth the headache.
Meyou 08:15 AM 07-28-2011
Lots of red flags for me. I wouldn't take her on the food comments alone.
cheerfuldom 08:59 AM 07-28-2011
shes definitely lying about something. either she's a daycare hopper or worse, her daughter is in a center during the day and with a babysitter in the evenings. shes getting way too picky and nothing is going to get better after she actually has to start paying for daycare versus assistance. I am thinking she doesn't even know what her daughter likes to eat. The fact that she asked no questions but only complained about the info you did provide is a huge red flag. Its life size, neon, and blaring "run away!!!!"
DBug 09:01 AM 07-28-2011
I had an interview like this. Mom didn't want to listen to me go over policies, etc, just wanted to talk about her own stuff. Then, in the middle of the tour, literally AS we're walking down the stairs, she hands the baby to me to see "how he looks on me" 
. Turned out that she was incredibly flakey and had NO idea how daycare works. I guess she figured it was more of a drop-in type thing. She would call me and ask if I could take her ds for the day, and then be confused as to why I didn't have enough space for him. She totally did not get my policies, what a contract was, what legal ratios are, etc., etc.
My advice: Run. Run far, far away!!
This type of mom will just never get it.
. Turned out that she was incredibly flakey and had NO idea how daycare works. I guess she figured it was more of a drop-in type thing. She would call me and ask if I could take her ds for the day, and then be confused as to why I didn't have enough space for him. She totally did not get my policies, what a contract was, what legal ratios are, etc., etc. My advice: Run. Run far, far away!!
This type of mom will just never get it.
nannyde 09:10 AM 07-28-2011
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
shes definitely lying about something. either she's a daycare hopper or worse, her daughter is in a center during the day and with a babysitter in the evenings. shes getting way too picky and nothing is going to get better after she actually has to start paying for daycare versus assistance. I am thinking she doesn't even know what her daughter likes to eat. The fact that she asked no questions but only complained about the info you did provide is a huge red flag. Its life size, neon, and blaring "run away!!!!"
ooohhhhhhshes definitely lying about something. either she's a daycare hopper or worse, her daughter is in a center during the day and with a babysitter in the evenings. shes getting way too picky and nothing is going to get better after she actually has to start paying for daycare versus assistance. I am thinking she doesn't even know what her daughter likes to eat. The fact that she asked no questions but only complained about the info you did provide is a huge red flag. Its life size, neon, and blaring "run away!!!!"
you are GOOD cheer
cheerfuldom 09:22 AM 07-28-2011
thanks nan I have figured out a few things over the past few years, ha ha
I have figured out a few things over the past few years, ha ha
laundrymom 09:45 AM 07-28-2011
I don't see red flags I see a big red circle with a line through it!!!!! Run.
Tell her you are interviewing others for the spot and will call her and let her know if you chose her.
Tell her you are interviewing others for the spot and will call her and let her know if you chose her.
nannyde 09:49 AM 07-28-2011
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
thanks nan I have figured out a few things over the past few years, ha ha
You now can speak "parent". thanks nan
I have figured out a few things over the past few years, ha haYou can be our resident "parent translator".
SilverSabre25 09:49 AM 07-28-2011
Thank you! Thankyouthankyouythankyou THANK YOU!!!!
My husband wants me to take her because we need the money. I point out how well that's worked for us in the past year (i.e. it hasn't...). He doesn't see the flags I see. He says he thinks I'm over-reacting (I think he sees what I see but wants the money). I'm totally showing him this thread.
My husband wants me to take her because we need the money. I point out how well that's worked for us in the past year (i.e. it hasn't...). He doesn't see the flags I see. He says he thinks I'm over-reacting (I think he sees what I see but wants the money). I'm totally showing him this thread.
Unregistered 11:24 AM 07-28-2011
I can't remember if you said whether or not she brought the kids with her. If she didn't bring them, then for me, that's a red flag. I need to meet kids before I agree to care for them. Another red flag is that she seems like she is going to have a hard time handling actually having to pay for daycare. I think that the biggest red flag is that she spent so much time bashing the provider that she's switching from. I don't like that at all because it makes me think that the parent is hiding something. It's pretty rare that the provider is totally 100% responsible for the breakdown of the business relationship. You could end up on the recieving end of the bashing if you were to do something to make her mad. That's not a good place to be. I also would have seen the food issues as a red flag because it sounds like she might expect a provider to cater to her kids preferences. It could just be my interpretation from the OP, but it seems like the parent had the attitude of "You work for me. Since I pay you, I call the shots." I could see that parent being a nightmare to have as a client, so I would decline.
You should let your husband read this thread so that he can see that the red flags are very real!!!
You should let your husband read this thread so that he can see that the red flags are very real!!!
Auntie 12:35 PM 07-28-2011
Did you leave the interview saying to the parent well I have others to interview and I will be getting back to you?
That way you can call or email her back and say I just want to say thank you for taking the time to interview however, I am sorry I don't feel this would be a good fit.
That way you can call or email her back and say I just want to say thank you for taking the time to interview however, I am sorry I don't feel this would be a good fit.
jojosmommy 12:37 PM 07-28-2011
I wouldnt take her if you are already concerned. Something is telling you not to. Trust yourself and don't think about it again- no matter how broke you are for not taking the kid.
SilverSabre25 01:49 PM 07-28-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I can't remember if you said whether or not she brought the kids with her. If she didn't bring them, then for me, that's a red flag. I need to meet kids before I agree to care for them. Another red flag is that she seems like she is going to have a hard time handling actually having to pay for daycare. I think that the biggest red flag is that she spent so much time bashing the provider that she's switching from. I don't like that at all because it makes me think that the parent is hiding something. It's pretty rare that the provider is totally 100% responsible for the breakdown of the business relationship. You could end up on the recieving end of the bashing if you were to do something to make her mad. That's not a good place to be. I also would have seen the food issues as a red flag because it sounds like she might expect a provider to cater to her kids preferences. It could just be my interpretation from the OP, but it seems like the parent had the attitude of "You work for me. Since I pay you, I call the shots." I could see that parent being a nightmare to have as a client, so I would decline.
You should let your husband read this thread so that he can see that the red flags are very real!!!
She did not bring her daughter but we had agreed to that ahead of time--mom works near me but they live on the opposite side of town and the current daycare is near where they live. We had agreed to this first interview and then a playdate with the girl if the interview went well. Her attitude wasn't so much the "you work for me" one (and believe me I've seen that one a few times) but just...odd. I can't even put my finger on it. And yes, the bashing was really, really off-putting. I can't remember if you said whether or not she brought the kids with her. If she didn't bring them, then for me, that's a red flag. I need to meet kids before I agree to care for them. Another red flag is that she seems like she is going to have a hard time handling actually having to pay for daycare. I think that the biggest red flag is that she spent so much time bashing the provider that she's switching from. I don't like that at all because it makes me think that the parent is hiding something. It's pretty rare that the provider is totally 100% responsible for the breakdown of the business relationship. You could end up on the recieving end of the bashing if you were to do something to make her mad. That's not a good place to be. I also would have seen the food issues as a red flag because it sounds like she might expect a provider to cater to her kids preferences. It could just be my interpretation from the OP, but it seems like the parent had the attitude of "You work for me. Since I pay you, I call the shots." I could see that parent being a nightmare to have as a client, so I would decline.
You should let your husband read this thread so that he can see that the red flags are very real!!!
Originally Posted by Auntie:
Did you leave the interview saying to the parent well I have others to interview and I will be getting back to you?
That way you can call or email her back and say I just want to say thank you for taking the time to interview however, I am sorry I don't feel this would be a good fit.
I didn't say those words, but have something I need to email to her and then we were talking about setting up a playdate so I can meet her daughter. So, we're not quite to the "will we or won't we?" point; there are a few steps between here and there, but I'm definitely leaning towards cutting it off right now. Especially since I just set up another interview for next Monday.Did you leave the interview saying to the parent well I have others to interview and I will be getting back to you?
That way you can call or email her back and say I just want to say thank you for taking the time to interview however, I am sorry I don't feel this would be a good fit.
cheerfuldom 05:36 PM 07-28-2011
go with your gut. That "odd" feeling about her should not be ignored. If she didn't bring her daughter, my first guess is that the child is very badly behaved or might be special needs even. I know that sounds bad but in my experience, parents leave their kids home during daycare tours or interviews for a reason.
nannyde 06:16 PM 07-28-2011
I require the kid to be at every interview. I want them with me as much as possible before the first day. I also want to see how the parents do with their baby. It tells me a lot about how comfortable they are being a parent. The easy going, calm, realistic parent is going to fit right in to my program. If the parent is nervous with their kid and doesn't seem to be able to manage them when they are here they will most likely have unrealistic expectations on me.
SilverSabre25 06:50 PM 07-28-2011
As I said, the reason that she didn't have her dd with her was entirely one of logistics. But, I wasn't thrilled with it either which was why we were going to arrange a playdate prior to the decision being made. But, when she gets off work 3 mins away from me at 5:30 and her current daycare/sitter is 30 mins away, if not more at rush hour, I couldn't see much other way around it. I don't like to do interviews that late (my DD is too squirrely by then) and the lady is a single mom with, apparently, no family to help.