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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Separation Issue at 3 1/2
Saskmomma 08:57 PM 06-04-2014
Hi I'm wandering what works for you all on this matter .. I have a boy who's been coming FT for almost 3 yrs n has lately been crying running towards his mom when it's time to leave ... I have now resorted to having her remain outside and bring him to the door I quickly bring him in & the crying doesn't last for terribly long he also has a sister in Kindergarten who comes every other day which I'm seeing sometimes makes a difference but other times he can be the same wether she's here or not I tell him to go into the bthrm until he's done when he comes out or I go speak with him he's sometimes smiling in a matter of seconds .. So it's like it's somewhat manupilitive behaviour can it be true separation anxiety and what else can I be doing ?
Michael 02:00 AM 06-05-2014
cheerfuldom 06:57 AM 06-05-2014
I think you can see that it is manipulative and not true separation anxiety. He has been with you for years so you know he is cared for and safe. I would continue to insist mom drop off and leave quickly and then ignore the tantrum just as you have been doing.
Annalee 09:42 AM 06-05-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I think you can see that it is manipulative and not true separation anxiety. He has been with you for years so you know he is cared for and safe. I would continue to insist mom drop off and leave quickly and then ignore the tantrum just as you have been doing.
I think some moms reach a point where THEY are the manipulators. In moms mind, sometimes it makes them feel better if their child cries/clings to them...and yes, that is annoying when a mom then has to be treated like a child. I think you can see that it is manipulative and not true separation anxiety. He has been with you for years so you know he is cared for and safe. I would continue to insist mom drop off and leave quickly and then ignore the tantrum just as you have been doing.
Unregistered 06:30 PM 06-05-2014
Children are always adjusting and learning from interactions with others. I feel children want to know YOU are in charge in your classroom and that DCM is in agreement with that. I often handle this behavior with extra kindness to give the child the skills necessary to regulate the behavior in the future. I greet them at the door and have the child enter alone. The child leaves the parent. I hold the child's hand or wrap my arm around their shoulder and guide them in. Sometimes they will go back for that one last hug or kiss- tolerate that less each day! I usually get them to stop crying by explaining that if they aren't crying they can help me with my next task. ( they usually aren't still crying by now anyway... Because mom is gone). Try gentle guidance to help him self regulate and he will soon be able to come in without you!
canadian momma 12:09 PM 06-06-2014
Thanx so much for all your response he is coming in fine we do it fast n yes she is a family friend hubby n myself are good friends with the lil boys grandpa n his wife.. His mother was staying for a few minutes too long n chatting in the morns with me n then she'd kiss him n hug him n he would repeatedly want more I saw this all building !!! I will no longer have her in the house I see it not necessary n wish to keep my mornings all beginning on a happy note unless there are new children it then is too be expected !!!!