Hello, I have a family that will potentially start in May. Their daughter is 9 months old and they have already left their previous provider because they said their baby did not seem happy. We are now looking at a start date of May 19th. They have asked if they could bring their daughter in with me a couple of hours a day for some days to see how she likes it. How do you all handle this? I have never had parents do this before. The child usually starts on their start date and I have never had a problem really. I was going to offer to let them bring her one day next week because one of my kids will be out. What do you all put in your contract regarding this matter? My contract states that I as the provider can end the contract at anytime but the parents must give me 2 weeks notice. Thanks so much!!!

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So they want their baby to come to your place to try it out for awhile before her start date?

I'd let them. But I'd charge for a full day.

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I doubt that I would want to deal with parents who think that their 9-month old is capable of choosing a daycare. I would pass on these parents just based on them leaving previous care because she didn't "seem happy" and then asking for a trial to see how SHE likes it. Come on-a 9 month old!?

I would let these parents know that a child doesn't "settle in" in a day or two, and that while SOME kids are fine everywhere, many take a month or more to get comfortable.

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Bingo.

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yeah, if this was an 18-24 month old I would do the gradual thing ok, but not a 9 month old. Also, it would fall under our 2 week trial period, I wouldn't do it unless a contract is signed and deposit given, etc.

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I would explain that consistency is important with infants especially, so starting for a couple days to see how she likes it really will be counter-productive. I used to work in a high end fitness center daycare and we had parents who never left their kids with anyone and bring them in and they scream bloody murder. Mom comes back horribly upset because baby was upset and then says they'll have to wait and see. They come back 2wks or even 2 mos later and the same thing happens. Rinse, repeat! They don't realize that if they came every day for 2 weeks or at least 3-4x/wk and were confident in leaving that their child would acclimate much better. I have a new guy who started yesterday, he was sad when mom & dad left but I texted a happy pic shortly after to let them know he was fine. Today was worse, but he also recovered much quicker once they left. Again, sent a pic and he was happy blowing bubbles. Kids will figure it out eventually. Some take longer than others but if she's already been in daycare she shouldn't have too hard of a time. Nervous, anxious mommies breed nervous, anxious babies. Showing baby that she's safe and mom always comes back for her is the best bet. I would allow a transitional period the week before, maybe 4hrs a day? But even if she's unhappy when mom drops her off or picks her up, you need to reassure mom that she had a happy day otherwise.

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Run. Far. Fast. Run.

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I would allow them to use as many or as few days as they want but I would still apply the first two weeks (no matter how much or little she attends) as her two week trial period and I would charge my regular infant rate (which is weekly) no matter how little or much she attends.

It's fine for the parents to feel as though they are weaning their child into care but from my end, once she starts she is an enrolled child held to the same contract as everyone else.

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I may be a little overly sensitive to anything that seems weird because I am always sorry when I don't trust my gut. I just think the idea of kind of letting the baby decide is weird but I guess that's not what they are really saying.

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I prefer to do a "gradual start" for all kids, and even still, I think it's odd to request it in order to see if a 9-month-old likes it. I think the parent should visit and should decide if they like it, then present it joyfully and confidently to their child and trust that you will help her be as happy as possible.

But since you asked, in terms of how to manage a gradual start, here's what I do:

--parent visits program during open hours to see if it feels like a good match; they may or may not bring child (up to them)

--if I decide to enroll them, I visit them at their home to get to know them on the child's own "turf," ask all my questions, etc.

--I encourage as many visits as the family wants before their official start date. That means the parent comes with the child and hangs out to play for an hour or two. It's at my convenience (i.e. not at lunch or nap or drop-off/pick-up, etc.) They do not pay, and I am not in charge of their child. (I do write off any snacks they eat, though.) Most parents do not choose to do this, but some do. I have a new girl starting next week, and she's been to visit 2 times and will come once more this week.

--I expect a parent to stay the first full day with their child. They pay. They may hang out with the child or sit back and observe or do their work at my dining-room table, but they are here. This is partly so that the child is comfortable. But it's also so I can observe how the parent interacts with the child--whether they feed them, how they speak to them, what they expect re pottying, etc. (helps me to know, although I do things my own way). And it's especially useful for getting parents to really know us--our schedule, how I handle things, who the other kids are, etc. A strong community is essential to my style of teaching. (I learned to do this from the schools of Reggio Emilia, which inspire my teaching.) (And as an added bonus, if they have to pay me and still be here all day, they know I'm pretty serious about expecting strong parental involvement and not just drop-and-run.)

It's not for everyone, but you asked how it works, so maybe it'll be helpful. :-)

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Exactly! A nine month old doesn't know if it is happy with the daycare mom chose. I personally would tell them the baby starts May 19th and it may take some time to adjust. She isn't going to adjust in just a couple hours a day for a few days.

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I dont allow parents to hang out. I do allow small playdates or half days to ease into care but that is for the child ONLY, not the parents. parents drop off and leave and i will tell them how it went. i understand why a parent would want to hang out but its not a service i provide. way too much extra work for me and i have no desire to be re-interviewed for days on end by high maintenance parents. that said, i do think it is important for parents to have a trust level with the provider first but it seems to come in extremes. i have many, many parents that dont call my references, no one has ever asked for a background check in 6 years! or the other end of things where mom wants to sit in my house for weeks and you feel like you will never be good enough for the family. ugh. you just cant win.

but to answer your question, what the parents are asking for, no I dont allow. and i dont know that many other providers or centers that allow it either.

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I've had parents want to start gradually before as well. I just charge them for a full day and often they are paying more than a full time family would depending on how many days they schedule. I have parents now that only schedule 2-3 days a week anyway after "weaning" their child into care 1 day a week. It works because they follow my schedule and dcb didn't have any issues adjusting from day 1 (he even transitioned to a nap mat on day 1) and the parents don't mind paying a higher rate to hold their spot.

You could offer a 2 week trial period if you feel that they may not be a good fit.

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What they do here (but they pay full from the first day), is the first day is 8-10, second day 8-12, third day 8-2 and from day #4 full (7 - 4:30). If they want to come halftime and pay full time for a few days before, I think it's a good thing.

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I don't have anything in my contract about this. If I like the family at interview I go along with their request of starting gradually, I get paid by the day so no loss on my part

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I agree. There are so many red flags.

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I actualy have a $25 enrollment and gradual entry
the family comes for an interveiw , then if enrolling, come again , get booklet, and do paper work , with child , then child comes again on own for a couple hours and some times again ....then I have the 2 week trial period.....I find it is esier on both the child and myself the gradual introduction to my home, me, the other children....if they enrolled but do not start for month or more , the family comes with child for coffee ....once or twice a month .....I am a family based day care ...I tell you it realy helps ....

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I had a lady once who wanted to bring her 2 year old in the evening for a couple hours to "get used" to the daycare. I allowed her to do this 2 afternoons. When she called for a third "get used" to the daycare I told her that I felt this was not necessary due to the fact the child would gradually be expected to fall in line with my routines throughout the day and the mom being with her at these "get used" to daycare dates was confusing to the child. Ironically, she started my program and stayed till she went to kindergarten. I now tell all parents that want to tarry around for a few days this same thing and it helps them get the point....it is my program and there are other children, not just their little one.

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