So I posted earlier about how I'm having a really hard time filling a spot. Well one of my friends (we aren't really that close) wants to know if I will watch her son. I'm not so sure how I feel about it because I would want her to follow my contract exactly just like the other families do. I guess I feel weird about giving her a contract even though I am definitely going to. I don't want her to feel like she can pay me later just because we know each other. What would you do?

Reply

I've done it in the past, way back before I had contracts and all that. It went okay. Just have a talk with her before, make sure she knows you have to keep business and personal separate. I would try it but will you be able to end it if she is the type to take advantage? Make sure she pays ahead, and reads everything, initialing each page to let you know she's aware of your policies. If you stand firm I don't see why it couldn't work.
Good luck!!!

Reply

I recently had a friend ask me this. I agreed, but with conditions. I told her that this is my business and I will treat her as every other client. She didn't seem to believe me heh. Wasn't she surprised when she wanted to drop off one afternoon and I said absolutely not. We hadn't gone over policies, filled out paperwork, had a contract etc. I said I would be happy to set up a time to do this and then we could move forward and, nothing yet. *shrugs* I think it can be done but you have to be able to put the friendship aside and treat it as strictly business. At least, for me, that's how I'd have to do it.

Reply

Thank you both! I'm so bad with staying firm, so I hope I can do it!

Reply

Yes as long as they understand it is strictly business it can be done without straining a friendship.

Reply

I frequently have friend's children in my preschool. They get the same treatment as everyone else and they follow the rules really well. They know I mean business when it comes to my business.

Reply

It REALLY depend on the friend I think. I recently had a friend ask me to take her son and there was just no way I could do it. She is the most anal human I have ever seen, complains about every little thing. No one is better than she is in every way etc. I don't mind hanging out with her every now and again but to have to see her and deal with her every day would just be too much. I also know she would have an issue with everything!

Reply

I did it once; it ended our friendship. If the child is difficult, you can't be truly honest with a friend the way you are a parent. Dcb was terribly difficult for me, and telling his mom this was awful and a spot I will never be in again. She won't talk to me 1.5 years later.

Reply

depends on the type of friendship - little more than acquaintance I would do but I would set up an interview and go thru all policies just like anyone else. A better friend I would be hesitant to work with - if I wouldn't be ok with the friendship ending over daycare issues I wouldn't do it!

Reply

I personally wouldn't be able to do it, but that's just me. If you do go through with it, like everyone else said....... make sure they know business is business.

Reply

In the past I always filled spots with friends' kids. That has ended poorly for me on several occasions. It's been my experience that many times friends expect special treatment, aren't willing to make their kids mind, shrug it off when you present an issue that needs to be taken seriously, etc. The stress that accompanies the need to term when its a friend is awful. I would make sure that you share similar parenting styles before accepting a friend's child into care. I would also be VERY firm and stick to all policies from the beginning. I've had a couple friends who respected my business and it worked out well, but I've had several who refused to discipline their children and expected me to just adapt b/c we were friends. Stress for all.

Reply

I completely agree with those who said it depends on the friend. I watch a friend's sons for going on 5 years now. She and I communicate very well though, and I think that is a MUST when it comes to friends.

Reply

I watch the child of a friend occasionally. I DON'T charge her. I don't want that kind of relationship with my friends. I do it as a favor.

Reply

I don't think it completely depends on the friend but rather depends on you (the provider) and whether or not you can enforce your contract and policies.

I've provided care for many friends and family and have had no issues because I made it very clear from the beginning that when providing care, it's business first and friends/family second.

I think as a parent I'd WANT the comfort and security of a friend/family member caring for my child so much so that I would have absolutely respect for their business and would make sure I was a model client.

If I felt they didn't treat/view our agreement that way, I'd have terminated the arrangement or declined all together.

Reply

I have watched the children of many a friend as well as nephews. They are told up front that this is my business and my livelihood. I also let them know if they don't follow my rules/policies that I will discontinue care to protect the friendship. It has worked out really well for me. I agree that it has less to do with the parent and more to do with the provider. If I didn't stick to my policies and strictly enforce them it wouldn't work. I have also become friends with many dcps thoughout the years. We have monthly dinners and grab drinks occasionally. It works because I respect my business and so do they.

Reply

I watch the kiddo (and soon to be 2 kiddos) of a friend. No issues at all! In fact, she follows the contract to a T and has never given me ANY reason to question my watching her kiddos. Plus, she is super sweet and I adore her kids. I think if your friend understands that it is a business, it can work out perfect.

Reply

I actually have a policy of not accepting family & friends. It's kinda like mixing business and pleasure right.

Anyway, once I did accept a child of a former friend on a temp basis. It worked out ok, but I don't know if I would do it again.

I think as long as you tell her upfront that she will have to abide by your child care contract and that this is your occupation, she should understand. I might even bring up the fact that it is a little awkward but that you need to follow your usual business practices it should go ok.

Reply

I haven't taken friends' children but have taken family children. When both sides can make a distinction between business and family it works well. If both sides can't make that distinction it's awful. I'd definitely let her know that business and friendship are separate and that they'll be treated just like everyone else when it comes to business.

Reply

I would Run!!! for the hills.
Deb

Reply

I do it every week and charge normal fees. I watch my best friend's 2 daughters but I think it definitely depends on the friend. My friend is super down to earth and does not think her children are faultless. She even pushes to know if they did anything wrong during the day and is super open to feedback. She did try to negotiate a lower rate recently due to a changing financial situation for them but when I declined to be able to change the fee as I am already giving them a sibling discount she was fine with it and said she understood.I think you have to go with your gut. You know your friend, would they be a good client or not?

Reply

I think no. I would only watch an acquaintances child if I wouldn't mind cutting ties with that acquaintance. Otherwise I know it would be hard for me to stand my ground.

Reply

Thanks everyone! I decided to watch her son and so far it's going great! She pays me on time and her son fits in very well with my other daycare kids. It's still within the probationary period, so if something happens I can always just say it's not working, but I hope it works out!

Reply

So....I may have spoken too soon. I have in my contract that I must get paid Friday at pick-up for the following week. I noticed that dcm didn't bring her wallet last night and when she was about to leave, I asked her about the payment. She said she had a busy day and would maybe run it by later that night or Saturday morning(today.) Well stupid me didn't enforce my late fee policy. She knows I get paid on Friday! I feel like I shouldn't have to remind her to pay me in the first place. She said it so nonchalantly too, like oh I will pay you when I get around to it. I shouldn't have to beg parents for my paycheck. Do any of you give parents an invoice like the day before payment just to remind them?

Reply

I have found, just as parents shouldn't expect "special" from us, we shouldn't expect "special" from them. Meaning, they require training and a backbone like everyone else.

She probably has no idea why it matters. She may think of it like a paying a sitter (and see no disrespect in that).

I would give her a call and say "Sally, I need you to bring me a check by ____ today. I need to deposit all tuition Friday night in order do shopping for the following week Saturday. It puts me in a bad position when parents don't pay on time. I can't buy groceries and supplies for the children when I don't get paid. That is why there is a late fee of ____ (whatever your policy is). I will waive it just this once, since maybe you didn't understand. In the future you absolutely must pay on time. Thanks! "

Reply

Our friends little guy was a nightmare so it was hard to kick him out. Ended up saying one day that its very stressful and I'm not sure what to do. and they said we can see if he can go back to grandmas daycare and I took my out. We are all fine friends still we don't ever talk about it so i dunno for sure if it bothered them but I felt bad. I just couldn't handle him.

Reply