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Lyss 10:21 PM 10-06-2012
This is probably more of a vent but this has been bothering me for the last few days...

One of my DCM's made a comment to DCB(2.5yrs) as she walked out the door on DCB's Friday (Thursday) about how she has to try to get Halloween off otherwise "Lyss will have to be responsible for taking DCB trick or treating."

I don't feel it's my "responsibility" to take DCB trick or treating at all. DCM picks up at 6:15 and is home by 6:30-6:45pm which seems like a reasonable time to take DCB out. DCM says they take a walk every night when they get home anyway so it's not unusual for them to be out at that time.

DCB is my last pick up but I have an infant DCG (9mos) that may be here that day (DCD's schedule varies weekly) and is here until 5:45-6pm. I'm not willing to take DCG and my own 10month old out. Even if DCG isn't here on that day I do not plan to take them out. This DCM is always expecting me to go out of my way for them, like bringing a bike and saying I need to try to teach DCB to ride his bike "by Friday so he can ride with the neighbor kids" or asking me to pack up all DCKs and drive them to her work so DCB can attend her employer's family picnic (and being annoyed when I say I won't).

Aghh! Why can't some people realize we're not here to cater to their every whim!
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mom2many 10:42 PM 10-06-2012
Set limits and simply let her know that you cannot accommodate her in this situation. Some parents will try to dictate and obligate you, but if it's not something you want to do or cannot do, you must tell them and not feel guilty doing so!

I personally would be shocked to have a parent expect this of me and never in all of the years of doing this, have I ever been expected to take a child out trick or treating. In fact, parent's always get off work early that day, just so they can go trick or treating with their kids!
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DaisyMamma 04:39 AM 10-07-2012
If she wants to treat you like a nanny, maybe she needs to hire one. You don't work for her!
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jojosmommy 05:33 AM 10-07-2012
Tell her clearly you will not do this. This should be a family affair enjoyed together. Tell her now so she doesnt assume you will be doing this for her.
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Kaddidle Care 07:13 AM 10-07-2012
Since most people working don't get home until after 5:30 it's not a problem! Trick or Treating in the late afternoon is usually a bust around here unless there are a lot of stay at home parents. What time where you planning to take your own children? If you can do it late, so can she.

Are you sure she wasn't kidding? Or feeling you out to see if you would say "no problem"?

Many employers will let their staff go home early on Halloween. At least the office staff type employers. (Or maybe I've just worked for some really good ones that understand the value of family.) Retail is another story.

I think I would just tell her "Sorry, I have other plans for Halloween. Please be sure to pick up on time - maybe your job will let you out early."
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Lianne 07:22 AM 10-07-2012
The only concession I make on Hallowe'en is to serve dinner to any child here at 5pm. I don't announce this but I do let individual parents know, the parents who usually pick up at/after 5pm. This way the child has warm food in their belly and it's one less thing for them to have to do. I don't do this because it's expected but because I want to, simply to be nice and help them out. In fact, if a family expected it, I'd refuse to do it. Dinner on Hallowe'en is typically grilled cheese & soup, raw veggies and dip and fruit salad. Simple but healthy and filling.
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Lyss 08:38 AM 10-07-2012
I plan to address it with her on Monday!

Originally Posted by DaisyMamma:
If she wants to treat you like a nanny, maybe she needs to hire one. You don't work for her!
She always expects above and beyond, even after numerous talks with her! She totally needs a nanny!

Originally Posted by Lianne:
The only concession I make on Hallowe'en is to serve dinner to any child here at 5pm. I don't announce this but I do let individual parents know, the parents who usually pick up at/after 5pm. This way the child has warm food in their belly and it's one less thing for them to have to do. I don't do this because it's expected but because I want to, simply to be nice and help them out. In fact, if a family expected it, I'd refuse to do it. Dinner on Hallowe'en is typically grilled cheese & soup, raw veggies and dip and fruit salad. Simple but healthy and filling.
This is a great idea! I may offer this as an alternative!
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SilverSabre25 09:50 AM 10-07-2012
Yeah...I would probably have said, "Um, excuse me? No, it won't!"
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Lyss 06:31 PM 10-07-2012
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
Yeah...I would probably have said, "Um, excuse me? No, it won't!"
I know right! I had the window open and overheard it as she shut the door on their way out.
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SilverSabre25 09:24 PM 10-07-2012
Originally Posted by Lyss:
I know right! I had the window open and overheard it as she shut the door on their way out.
heh, I STILL would have said it! I would have gone to the window and called it out. Or stayed where I was and called it out.
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Sunchimes 06:44 AM 10-08-2012
I wouldn't do it under those circumstances either.

However, I miss Trick or Treating. When I was a kid and got too old to TorT, I would borrow little kids to take out. I guess it's been nearly 40 years now since I went out, and I miss it. Last year, one of my moms worked retail, and I thought I was going to get to take dcg, but she ended up with the night off. No hope this year, so I'll dress up and sit on the porch envying the 500 kids that come by.
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My3cents 02:34 PM 10-08-2012
I would tell your parents that your closing early on Halloween so that you are able to get your children ready to go out for the night of Halloween.

That lady had a nerve to think that. No respect towards you or your family. I would be beyond irritated.
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littlemissmuffet 08:47 AM 10-09-2012
My hubs and I married on Halloween, so we asolutely adore this day of the year! We have stayed open all the years I've done daycare, but with a child on the way, we're going to start closing on Halloween and make it a family day for us

I would have told this particular daycare mother "Oh, actually no, I think I do quite enough for you and your son alreasy without taking him trick or treating. By the way, we're closing at 4pm that day, make sure you're not late!"
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LK5kids 01:09 PM 10-10-2012
I had a mom ask me to go shopping for a birthday present for her son. I can't remember if the party was that day or what. I told her there was no way I could do that. Somehow we got in a verbal argument and she left with her son. As she was going by my big, low, open window I called her a name.....which was sooooo unlike me. I must have momentarily lost my mind. The child came back a few months later, never a problem again and we became really close friends.
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Soccermom 06:30 PM 10-10-2012
I would only consider taking a DCK Trick or Treating if I didn't have any of my own children to take out.
My kids would be annoyed about a DCK coming with us on a special day.
I think DCPs sometimes forget that we are parents too and that our kids best interest is always priority just as I am sure their children are their number one priority.
Our kids tolerate our DCKs and at times truly enjoy their company but for the most part, they just want Mom all to themselves....especially on a special occasion
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