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Happy Hearts 02:47 PM 11-06-2012
Do you ever wonder what the dc kids say about you when they're at home? And, would the parents believe them?

For instance, yesterday we had a naptime issue. I was not giving in and neither was dcg. She eventually fell asleep, but geez, she fought it hard.

So, today she tells me that she told her mom that she doesn't like me any more. What? My heart sunk. I've been nothing but kind and patient with her, never a cross word. And, I never back down, she knows that when I say something I mean it.

But now I'm wondering what the parents are thinking. Do they think I'm mean to her? I'm hurt and kinda pissed at the same time. I guess as well as growing a backbone, I need thicker skin, too!
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daycare 02:52 PM 11-06-2012
reminds me of this..........


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8aprCNnecU
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Soccermom 03:05 PM 11-06-2012
I used to worry a lot about this to but as time went on, I began to realize that it didn't really matter what DCG or DCB thought about me...it didn't really even matter what DCM or DCD thought of me.
What matters is that I provide the best care that I can to these little ones and that is exactly what I do. There are days when I have to be "Mean" because that is what is best for the child. I have to discipline them when it is needed and I can't allow them to always do what they want to do.
Most parents know that kids tend to exagerate and stretch the truth a lot so they don't take most of what their kids tell them too seriously anyway.
I would probably make a joke about it at pick up and say - So DCG informed me that she told you that I was mean lol. That is probably because of................
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Lyss 03:19 PM 11-06-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
reminds me of this..........


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8aprCNnecU
lol! that is so funny!


One day they don't like you and the next they're crying because they have to go home!

I have a DCM that at least once a week "calls me out" (as she refers to it) about something DCB has said. DCB is a giant storyteller too!

"DCB said you were very upset with him because he threw carrots on the floor" ...ummm no I dropped a jar of baby food carrots and it splattered across my carpet but I just took a deep breath and started cleaning

"DCB said you give him chocolate bars every time he goes potty" nope... You give him tootsie rolls for breakfast that i do not allow him to eat except right before he goes home (if at all) which is always after we go potty, get shoes on, and stuff together. ps if anybody needs a chocolate bar it's me, not DCB!

"DCB said your husband bought him ice cream, you know he can't have dairy" again, no! DH works same hours as DCM, he leaves when she gets here and gets home everyday as she's leaving.

Recently I've started bringing up things DCB says here ("DCB said he ate cheese sticks and ice cream for dinner, did your doctor clear him for dairy again?") and that's really cut down the number of things she asks about that DCB says!
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Cat Herder 03:48 PM 11-06-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
reminds me of this..........


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8aprCNnecU
Oh, that is priceless
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EntropyControlSpecialist 05:28 PM 11-06-2012
When I first started I had a horrible family. The little girl threw a HUGE fit one day because I looked her in the eyes, said, "No. We stay on our cots, we do not run around." and made her lay back down. She was 3.5.
The next day, Mom comes and says, "Princess said you were MAD at her!"
She wanted to make sure I was never mad at her. Ok then.

I'm a no nonsense type of girl and I really haven't had any "DCC said you did ___ or said ____" since that incident. Although, I have one parent that looks me up and down and says, "Princess tells us everything that happens at Preschool." Ok then.
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EchoMom 06:13 PM 11-06-2012
I wonder this, but on the lighter side of things. I wonder what stories, if any they tell. Do the parents know the fun or silly things that happened? Do they know what we did?

I have only one family that ever gives me a clue and they told me that once they were at a petstore and 2yr DCG was sucking her thumb and mom said to stop, then DCG said, "Oh, yes, Miss *** say NO THUMB!" ROFL Yes, I do get short with them about thumb sucking after the 15th reminder... :P
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countrymom 06:22 PM 11-06-2012
I have one, a couple of weeks ago I watched a SA and my rate is 5 dollars before and after school per hour, always has been. Well dcb tells another dcb that he can't come here anymore because I charge too much. ------well, he was here for only an hour and mom wanted to pay me 3dollars.
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e.j. 08:26 PM 11-06-2012
Originally Posted by Sparrow:
Do you ever wonder what the dc kids say about you when they're at home?
Yes, I do. I usually don't give it much thought until one of my dc kids tells me about something that happened at their home. It makes me wonder how the dc parents would feel if they only knew what their kids were telling me. Then I start to wonder what the kids are saying about me and my day care to their parents!

I once had a dcg who told her parents she had fun playing "drinking games" at my house. (The kids used to pretend they were serving me a cup of tea, coffee, etc. and I'd pretend to dislike it and send them back to the kitchen to make me a new cup with different ingredients in it.) I also had a dcg who told her mother I was hitting her on the head with a wooden spoon. After some questioning by the dcm (who worked for child services investigating abuse/neglect cases!), the girl confessed to making the story up. Thank God both parents knew me well enough to know the stories they were getting didn't sound "quite right" and they were laughing when they asked me about them but when something like this happens, it does make me wonder what else is being said at home that I'm not aware of!
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Country Kids 09:49 PM 11-06-2012
I have had some dozeys told about me and the parents laughted it off but it just put that uncomfortableness in me. I always think what if they said something like this during an inspection.

2 times I have had kids ask me/tell parents that I drink alcohol (a specific kind) during daycare hours. I don't drink anything with alcohol, religious/personal beliefs. Always makes me wonder how they know so much about it at a young age.

I have had a few tell their parents I spank them! I'm very upfront with parents that I'm not allowed to spank because I would say 75% of my parents have asked to write letters to the state allowing me to spank their child while in care. Several even work for the schools and know we can't do that but still ask.
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Meyou 12:27 AM 11-07-2012
I don't worry about it too much. I've heard some WILD stories and I'm kind enough not to repeat most of them.

The best one told on me was from a 5 year old DCB who said I made him nap with the babies while all the other older kids got to play special games and eat special treats with me.

Translation: DCB was always the first one asleep and needed to be woken up. As a result he always missed the process of the other children waking, having a little snack (before real snack) and playing "special" table activities while the little ones slept. He never did quite understand it all since he insisted that he never fell asleep and had to lie there "all alone in the dark with only babies to talk to." It still makes me giggle when I think about it.
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melskids 03:32 AM 11-07-2012
I can only imagine what they go home and say about me after everything I hear, and I have heard it all! I'd tell you some of it, but I don't want to make anyone blush...lol

So I tell the parents, I'll only believe half of what they tell me, if you promise to only believe half of what they tell you...lol
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Nellie 06:30 AM 11-07-2012
Originally Posted by Lyss:
lol! that is so funny!


One day they don't like you and the next they're crying because they have to go home!

I have a DCM that at least once a week "calls me out" (as she refers to it) about something DCB has said. DCB is a giant storyteller too!

"DCB said you were very upset with him because he threw carrots on the floor" ...ummm no I dropped a jar of baby food carrots and it splattered across my carpet but I just took a deep breath and started cleaning

"DCB said you give him chocolate bars every time he goes potty" nope... You give him tootsie rolls for breakfast that i do not allow him to eat except right before he goes home (if at all) which is always after we go potty, get shoes on, and stuff together. ps if anybody needs a chocolate bar it's me, not DCB!

"DCB said your husband bought him ice cream, you know he can't have dairy" again, no! DH works same hours as DCM, he leaves when she gets here and gets home everyday as she's leaving.

Recently I've started bringing up things DCB says here ("DCB said he ate cheese sticks and ice cream for dinner, did your doctor clear him for dairy again?") and that's really cut down the number of things she asks about that DCB says!



LOL Don't know if I could put up with questions like that daily.
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littlemissmuffet 06:36 AM 11-07-2012
I would hope if a child told their mom/dad something questionable and the parent was concerned that they would come and talk to me. I would want to make sure the parent felt comfortable with me and was able to get both sides of the story...
Unfortuntely, alot of parents will just take their child's word... no matter what it is.

I don't worry much about what kiddos tell their parents - the way my DCKs run in the house in the morning and don't want to leave at the end of the day says it all. If a parent can't see that, well, I don't want them here anyways.

I do sometimes worry about flase allegations against either me or my husband, by a confused or vindictive child or a disgruntled parent. We do our best to protect ourselves and realize that's an unfortunate part of running a daycare/business.
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BumbleBee 09:18 AM 11-07-2012
Yes & no. It used to bug me when I got the "dcb said you _____" but it was usually by the parents who's children were "angels" so no matter what I said or did dcp wouldn't believe it anyways.

I've got a school ager now who, from what mom says, hates me I started 2 infants last week so sa no longer has my full attention. Mom is very relaxed tho and tells me what sa says about me in a joking way. First words out of mom's mouth when I told her about the babies was "good, it's not all about sa anymore!"

Just yesterday sa's mom told dcg (who was complaining that I "ignored" her all day) that there was more than enough to do here & if the babies can find something to play with, surely she could too.
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Childminder 11:46 AM 11-07-2012
I just tell the parents: "I won't believe everything I hear about you either."
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Oneluckymom 12:12 PM 11-07-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
reminds me of this..........


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8aprCNnecU
OMG...how adorable I just want to squeeze him!!
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Lefse&Kids 09:25 PM 11-09-2012
I try not to think about it, but it does get to me. I provide a lot of love and fun to the kiddos but there was a situation I think I'm worrying way too much it.

Perhaps I asked for it too, looking back, probably not the best thing to do.

My 3 yr old I "wrapped up"(like a present) in his favorite blanket and tied a bow on him (this was a sparkly sash around his body with his arms against him but he could easily get out - don't worry very loose).

Well, the 4 yr old wanted this too and so we took turns "wrapping" each other up like presents. Well, when the 4 yr old dcg's mom arrived she loudly shouted "She was tying me up!". She was happy but still, it just sounds wrong. I told the mom what we were doing and all seems fine, but I know how some parents choose not to believe the provider and then get nervous.
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Hunni Bee 10:29 AM 11-10-2012
Originally Posted by Childminder:
I just tell the parents: "I won't believe everything I hear about you either."
I said that to a mom at conferences a couple weeks ago.

My most difficult family said that they'd asked their child about me, and all the child had said over and over was "No means no!"

It still bothers me, because I've never said that, to any of the kids and really, as much time as I spend with this kid, that's all they could come up with??
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Angelmichelle 09:40 PM 11-11-2012
I've had a mom "confront" me over her 2.5 year old telling her that I spanked her. Mom came in all angry asking me, in front of other DCPs at drop-off!, "Lil Miss says you spanked her! How dare you?!" I asked, "Are you serious? I spanked her? When??" DCM decided to get very loud and replied, "Yesterday after breakfast. She said you spanked her and made her lay down on the cot until it was time for me to pick her up!" I started laughing. How absurd does that sound?! Finally, one of the other moms said: "Didn't you have the food lady here yesterday?" because she dropped off late and I was able to make the introduction. Why, yes, I did. While Lil Miss played very noisily in the imagination station corner with the rest of the toddlers... and spanked the toy doll while saying, "didn't. i. tell. you. not. to. spill. that. cup. again. lil. miss????" Bwahaha! She didn't appreciate me sharing that part of the day with her and the rest of the eavesdropping parents. DCM never confronted me again!
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EntropyControlSpecialist 05:29 AM 11-12-2012
I had an accusatory e-mail masked as concern very recently. The child said, "X hurts their arm every day at ____'s home." and the Mom said she did not know what to think about this. We have children occasionally hurt their arms in very normal ways, but not the same child and not daily. I couldn't quite tell if it was meant as a "you hurt a child" e-mail or a "you are neglectful for not noticing" e-mail. Neither could my husband who is still steaming. The end of the e-mail turned back to being light-hearted with a "just a heads up."
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SilverSabre25 05:42 AM 11-12-2012
I wonder...because the other day when dcb's mom got here he ran up to her and announced, "Miss silver called me stupid!"

My jaw dropped and I scolded him that I had not, and would never, call him stupid. Mom's jaw dropped and she said the same thing to him.

But i've had a few other stories come back from varies dcks...and a couple from DD...

I should put in my contract, "I won't believe everything I hear about home if you don't believe everything you hear about daycare!"
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Kaddidle Care 07:33 PM 11-12-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
reminds me of this..........


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8aprCNnecU
That just cracked met up!

There's another video of him 4-5 years later watching himself. He's still a cutie:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v...ture=endscreen
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