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  #1  
Old 02-27-2019, 05:35 PM
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ardeur ardeur is offline
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Default Breastfeeding Right at Closing Time

Mom comes in right at or mere minutes before my closing time and asks if she can sit to breastfeed 6week old. Bfing session lasts 30 minutes about. I really do desire to be as breastfeeding-friendly as possible but I am so done for the day. But I would feel like a jerk for refusing, especially since our culture pushes that breastfeeding be allowed everywhere.

Mom gets off work and drives straight here to arrive right before closing. She requests that I refrain from bottle feeding newborn towards the end of the day so she can breastfeed instead.
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Old 02-27-2019, 05:51 PM
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As harsh as it sounds you need to let this mom know, that when you are closed you are closed. That parents are expected to pick up and leave. While you do support her breast feeding g that you cannot allow her to stay or stay past the time your last child leaves (excluding her kid) if you do want to allow feeding on site. Unless you address it directly she wont get it. Let her know that it's now your family time.

Mabey suggest feeding a smaller bottle during the last bit of the day, almost like a snack.
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Old 02-27-2019, 06:14 PM
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Charge a late fee of $10 per minute every minute child is on site after closing. Mom's expectations are unrealistic. She needs to be out the door, and off site by closing. You work long enough hours already.
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Old 02-27-2019, 06:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ardeur View Post
Mom comes in right at or mere minutes before my closing time and asks if she can sit to breastfeed 6week old. Bfing session lasts 30 minutes about. I really do desire to be as breastfeeding-friendly as possible but I am so done for the day. But I would feel like a jerk for refusing, especially since our culture pushes that breastfeeding be allowed everywhere.

Mom gets off work and drives straight here to arrive right before closing. She requests that I refrain from bottle feeding newborn towards the end of the day so she can breastfeed instead.
How far away does she live?

Being breastfeeding supportive/friendly doesn’t mean having to stay open late.
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Old 02-27-2019, 07:29 PM
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Why can't she feed the baby in the car?
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Old 02-27-2019, 08:00 PM
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No freaking way.

Today I locked the door, went out to the car, and sat in it while I waited for a grandparent to get out my driveway. I can't wait for mom to get back to town so I'm not blocked in when I need to be rolling to the school to pick up my kid.

If the baby is too hungry to leave your daycare without feeding, mom needs to send more milk or approve formula.

Our culture pushes that breastfeeding is allowed anywhere that the mother and baby are legally allowed to be. Are your other families allowed to remain on your property after you close? What hours does licensing have on file for you? This is private property and she has no right to breastfeed after hours, just as she has no right to play croquet on your lawn or binge-watch "The Crown" on your TV. Your home is not open to the public after hours.
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Old 02-28-2019, 02:08 AM
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I completely agree with all the replies!! You can be as breast-feeding friendly as you want but that does NOT give dcm the right to stay beyond her contracted hours. If she wants or needs to do that then she either has to leave work earlier to compensate for that needed nursing or as a PP, agree to overtime rates being charged. If she cannot do either, then why should YOU give up your time??
I had a dcm that used to plop herself down at 4:30 on my couch, to nurse her twins, who were certainly old enough to wait for the 5 minute ride home, plus they'd been eating regular kid food all day(they were about 18 mo at that time). And you know what happens when a parent is around, with all the other dcks? Plus it was pick up time and located right in my front room. She simply had a hard time ever saying no to her children.

Yeh, I'd be changing that very quickly with your dcm, to your benefit and she will work out the details for herself!! Do not be afraid to speak up or she will continue to take advantage. And please consider yourself still breast-feeding friendly, just by your own rules and not hers; nothing wrong with that!!
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Old 02-28-2019, 06:18 AM
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"DCM, I think we may have had a miscommunication and I would like to clear it up. I close at 5, that does not mean pick-up at 5 and it certainly does not mean arrive at 5 and hang out for 30 minutes every day. I need you to be off the property at 5. After 5 is my family time."
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Old 02-28-2019, 11:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cat Herder View Post
"DCM, I think we may have had a miscommunication and I would like to clear it up. I close at 5, that does not mean pick-up at 5 and it certainly does not mean arrive at 5 and hang out for 30 minutes every day. I need you to be off the property at 5. After 5 is my family time."
This! She can do it in the car out of your driveway so she does not hold you up. Sorry, but she will have to leave work earlier or feed at her home. I see this being the start of boundary-pushing.
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Old 02-28-2019, 11:25 AM
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Originally Posted by amberrose3dg View Post
This! She can do it in the car out of your driveway so she does not hold you up. Sorry, but she will have to leave work earlier or feed at her home. I see this being the start of boundary-pushing.
Not in the driveway. Off property.
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  #11  
Old 02-28-2019, 11:30 AM
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Default if you want to make it easy

When mom comes say "Sorry, I need to close at my normal time, I have somewhere to be." You know you need to be at home fixing dinner, or whatever, she doesn't need you to explain further. Repeat everyday if necessary.
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Old 02-28-2019, 11:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amberrose3dg View Post
This! She can do it in the car out of your driveway so she does not hold you up. Sorry, but she will have to leave work earlier or feed at her home. I see this being the start of boundary-pushing.
The "out of your driveway" part is important. I had one mom who would sit in my driveway to bf. In colder weather, she'd leave the car running for heat. In warmer weather, she'd leave the car running for the a/c. She was out there every day for so long, she ended up burning out a patch of my front yard lawn which upset my husband. She would also still be parked out there an hour later as my husband and kids were returning home from work and needed their parking spots. I was trying to be supportive of her breast feeding, too, but allowed her to take advantage of us. (She knew the baby wasn't hungry because I always fed her a snack just before dcm arrived for pick up every day. She still insisted on breast feeding every afternoon before leaving my house. She tried staying late to bf in my playroom but the noise from the other kids and the fact that the baby wasn't hungry made that hard for her so she moved it out to her car. I thought she'd get tired of that quickly but it took about a year before she decided just to head home to bf.) Even though I can be such a wimp when it comes to speaking up, I will never allow another family to inconvenience me or my family like that again.
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Old 02-28-2019, 01:39 PM
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Don't allow this to continue. She is manipulating you.

You close at a certain time. She knows that. There should be no excuses.

She needs to respect your private time the same as any other parent.

There should be a late pick up if she is not off site by closing time.

If you make exceptions for her "needs", you could be expected to make exceptions for the parent who left work late...for the parent who "needs" to pick up groceries after work without the kids....for the parent who "needs" to see the dentist or doctor with a late appointment...basically, every single time they feel like a "need" comes up that requires a late pick up.

I would politely tell her that your family life is very precious and that is why you have chosen to close at such-and-such time. ALL clients must be GONE by closing time so you can have that time with your family.
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  #14  
Old 03-01-2019, 06:31 AM
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I think this situation could be the very definition of "special snowflake".

You've already gotten very good advice, so I don't have much to add except to say that I hope she's getting charged an overtime fee. I charge $1 per minute within my operating hours and $2 per minute past 5:15pm. So, 30 minutes past closing... That'd be $60/day, 5 times a week? An extra $300 please. Payable immediately.
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Old 03-01-2019, 11:35 AM
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Oh, yeah, what a dump.

You'll have to tell her that things are changing. You have other things to do at that time. She needs to figure it out.

I used to bf in the car. But, yeah, not in your driveway.
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Old 03-01-2019, 03:52 PM
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Does she live so far away that she can't wait until she gets home? Is the baby so hungry by the end of the day that they can't wait either? BF is fine, but it needs to be done on her time, not yours. I would just explain to her that although you understand, you cannot make exceptions and all parents and children have to be off your property at closing so that you can attend to your family's needs.
Providers already work a longer day than most, I wouldn't prolong it for anyone. If she continues after you speak to her, you can either charge late fees or terminate.
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  #17  
Old 03-15-2019, 12:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by coloradoprovider View Post
When mom comes say "Sorry, I need to close at my normal time, I have somewhere to be." You know you need to be at home fixing dinner, or whatever, she doesn't need you to explain further. Repeat everyday if necessary.
Yup....this ! I've had some that will linger and have communications with their kids about their school day. I simply say excuse me, you guys going to have that conversation in your car on your way home. I have an appointment and I need to leave. Whether you leave or not it's none of their business.
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