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Old 04-08-2019, 08:02 AM
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Core12 Core12 is offline
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Default 3 Yr Old Drop Off

I have a dcb who just turned 3. Over the last couple of weeks he has been having Major meltdowns when his parents get ready to leave at drop off. I think his mom is thinking it’s be he doesn’t like it here anymore. We have had him for 2 yrs.
I knew at the beginning that he would leave in August for the “Awesome” preschool that his sibling goes to. His mother has told anyone (parents at drop off) who would listen that this preschool is unbelievable. I was offended by her insensitivity. However, I believe this child can sense the frustration on both sides and is making it hell for me at drop off.
Is this normal for a 3 yr old to suddenly act like this? As a parent what are you thinking?
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Old 04-08-2019, 08:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Core12 View Post
I have a dcb who just turned 3. Over the last couple of weeks he has been having Major meltdowns when his parents get ready to leave at drop off. I think his mom is thinking it’s be he doesn’t like it here anymore. We have had him for 2 yrs.
I knew at the beginning that he would leave in August for the “Awesome” preschool that his sibling goes to. His mother has told anyone (parents at drop off) who would listen that this preschool is unbelievable. I was offended by her insensitivity. However, I believe this child can sense the frustration on both sides and is making it hell for me at drop off.
Is this normal for a 3 yr old to suddenly act like this? As a parent what are you thinking?
I'd let mom know that of course, he'd rather stay home with his parent...what child wouldn't?

However, IF she needs child care and needs to bring him, SHE needs to start supporting the fact that he IS going to be left in care. She is sabotaging him by buying into the "he doesn't want to come to daycare" behavior.

BEST way to address it is to call her out for it...

When child arrives let mom know she needs to make drop off swift and quick. If she starts getting him upset or saying anything about him not wanting to be there, immediately agree with her and tell her that unless she makes drop off swift and quick, she'll need to take him with her vs leaving him with you.

I would refuse to keep him when he's mid-tantrum.
Mom is feeding the behavior so SHE needs to address/fix it.
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Old 04-08-2019, 08:19 AM
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I would just say something like “wow johnny seems to be having a hard time transitioning to daycare these days, anything new happening at home”? Questioning THEM will take the heat off you. Nothing has changed on your end so they should not be blaming you. I would also suggest a quicker drop off so as not to give attention to the behavior and make it worse.

I have had kids do this every once in a while but as soon as I implement the quick drop off and ignore it goes away quickly.
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Old 04-08-2019, 08:58 AM
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My own kids have cried at drop off. Dad brings them downstairs to "drop them off". They both did this around age 2 ish.

For parents I tell them that. It's not that they dont want to come, but what going on now is more fun, stopping what you do is not. Quick drop offs useally lead to this behavior being dropped fast or cry time lessened. I have one that started last month age 3 some days he cries, some days comes in stubberornly, and some days runs in.
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Old 04-08-2019, 09:42 AM
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My 2 1/2 yo dcg seems to be exiting the crying-at-drop off stage now. She's been coming since 4 mo but right after the holidays(and 10 days off from dc) it was challenging for her. It's just barely getting better now. No more tears and we stand at the window and wave to Momma and Sissy, saying we'll see you in a little while!
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Old 04-08-2019, 10:16 AM
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Quick reminder: drop offs need to be kept at no more than 5 minutes. If your child is having a difficult time saying goodbye it’s best to hand him/her to me and quickly exit. This keeps the disruption at a minimum and allows me to have a better eye on the other kids in my care. Thanks for understanding!
That’s my go to text for when I start having drop off problems. I also have a section in my handbook that describes the bye bye outside method. In the event that the text doesn’t get the message across I remind the parent that that’s the next strategy I’ll be taking.
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Old 04-08-2019, 10:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Ariana View Post
I would just say something like “wow johnny seems to be having a hard time transitioning to daycare these days, anything new happening at home”? Questioning THEM will take the heat off you. Nothing has changed on your end so they should not be blaming you. I would also suggest a quicker drop off so as not to give attention to the behavior and make it worse.
I'd also be suspicious that DCM may be making a play at staying home and needs ammunition to get DCD on board. Is she TTC?
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Old 04-08-2019, 01:11 PM
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I find a period of time that the child is happy at drop off then say something to parents about how it won't always be this way - he'll go through a stage of not wanting to come and not wanting to go home, and that all children go through it. Then the parents are warned when it happens. I also say "I know, transitions are hard" to the kiddo and " I know how he feels - I'd rather stay home too" to the parent.
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