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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Reasonable expectations from toddlers
jenboo 07:50 AM 03-05-2014
Specifically the 18 months- 2.5 years old.
I have the least amount of experience with this age group so I need a little help.
I have three DCKs that fall within this age group. One is really advanced so he acts about .5 yrs older than he really is. My other two I guess are typical 1.5 and 2 yr olds.
Here are the problems im having:
climbing on anyone who is sitting on the floor
hitting/pulling hair (just to do it, not out of anger or anything)
throwing toys
no progress in cleaning up after months of hand over hand
If they are doing something they arent supposed to be doing they ignore me until i start walking towards them, then they stop.
These are the main issues. I am always redirecting, telling them soft touches hitting hurts, lets roll the car instead of throwing it, modeling good behavior, etc.
So I guess my question is: what out of the list (if not all) are perfectly normal behaviors for this age/they can't comprehend that its wrong/cant use self control....and what are the things that are no acceptable for this age/they totally understand what they are doing is wrong?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated as well.
I have the least amount of experience with this age group so I need a little help.
I have three DCKs that fall within this age group. One is really advanced so he acts about .5 yrs older than he really is. My other two I guess are typical 1.5 and 2 yr olds.
Here are the problems im having:
climbing on anyone who is sitting on the floor
hitting/pulling hair (just to do it, not out of anger or anything)
throwing toys
no progress in cleaning up after months of hand over hand
If they are doing something they arent supposed to be doing they ignore me until i start walking towards them, then they stop.
These are the main issues. I am always redirecting, telling them soft touches hitting hurts, lets roll the car instead of throwing it, modeling good behavior, etc.
So I guess my question is: what out of the list (if not all) are perfectly normal behaviors for this age/they can't comprehend that its wrong/cant use self control....and what are the things that are no acceptable for this age/they totally understand what they are doing is wrong?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated as well.
SilverSabre25 07:57 AM 03-05-2014
You have to remember that toddlers live in NOW. Nothing else exists for them. they have little to no impulse control, and little empathy to truly understand that they can hurt someone else or ARE hurting someone else. It sounds like you are doing the right thing with your approach, even if it seems like you are not having an effect on them.
Toddlers are exhausting, but with good modeling and TIME and understanding they will eventually start acting like humans instead of wild monkeys
Cleaning up goes best when you get down on the floor and start handing them things to put away, or start making piles for them to put away. They also are more likely to do it if you are too.
But yeah--that's all typical two.
Toddlers are exhausting, but with good modeling and TIME and understanding they will eventually start acting like humans instead of wild monkeys
Cleaning up goes best when you get down on the floor and start handing them things to put away, or start making piles for them to put away. They also are more likely to do it if you are too.
But yeah--that's all typical two.
TwinKristi 08:03 AM 03-05-2014
This has been my prime age group since starting daycare. I have one myself who's just over 2, one who's almost 2.5 and soon to be 2 that are still between 18-22mos. 3 boys and 1 girl. The girl doesn't throw, hit, etc like the boys do. They all want to climb, play, etc. The gentle hands have gotten much better since 1 DCB left in Dec. He was very possessive, obstinate and dramatic. It was hard with him in the mix. He was smart, but a little too smart for his own good. He would NOT say please in a sentence, at all. He would say it separately when prompted but neither he or his sibling would say it unprompted. It was annoying.
It DOES take time and training to get those skills down. The DCB who left was the best picker-upper! My DS has gotten better and the oldest (who's quite delayed) has gotten better with lots of reminders. Now he sings a clean up song and picks up very well.
You sound like you're doing all the right things! Keep it up and soon it was all click for them and get easier for you!!
It DOES take time and training to get those skills down. The DCB who left was the best picker-upper! My DS has gotten better and the oldest (who's quite delayed) has gotten better with lots of reminders. Now he sings a clean up song and picks up very well.
You sound like you're doing all the right things! Keep it up and soon it was all click for them and get easier for you!!
jenboo 08:05 AM 03-05-2014
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
You have to remember that toddlers live in NOW. Nothing else exists for them. they have little to no impulse control, and little empathy to truly understand that they can hurt someone else or ARE hurting someone else. It sounds like you are doing the right thing with your approach, even if it seems like you are not having an effect on them.
Toddlers are exhausting, but with good modeling and TIME and understanding they will eventually start acting like humans instead of wild monkeys
Cleaning up goes best when you get down on the floor and start handing them things to put away, or start making piles for them to put away. They also are more likely to do it if you are too.
But yeah--that's all typical two.
ok great! Just wanted to make sure I was handling this age correctly. Also, any advice for managing them with 2 older children (3-4 yr olds). My space is not big enough to divide the room. The poor older kids can't do anything without the little ones getting into it. One of the older girls is not used to being around littles. She does not like when they touch her, try to take her toys, etc. She just doesn't understand that they are still learning. The older kids can't really do anything unless what they are playing with is only in their hands. Even then the littles try to grab it from them. Im not sure how to juggle everything. I will try to do an activity/play with the younger ones to give the older ones some time to play without it getting ruined but it only lasts maybe 10 min.You have to remember that toddlers live in NOW. Nothing else exists for them. they have little to no impulse control, and little empathy to truly understand that they can hurt someone else or ARE hurting someone else. It sounds like you are doing the right thing with your approach, even if it seems like you are not having an effect on them.
Toddlers are exhausting, but with good modeling and TIME and understanding they will eventually start acting like humans instead of wild monkeys
Cleaning up goes best when you get down on the floor and start handing them things to put away, or start making piles for them to put away. They also are more likely to do it if you are too.
But yeah--that's all typical two.
preschoolteacher 11:37 AM 03-05-2014
I have 12 kids who are between 18 months and 2.5 (NO, they are not all here at the same time! They are ALL part-timers, so I never have more than 6 at a time).
climbing on anyone who is sitting on the floor This has never happened--none of the kids do this.
hitting/pulling hair (just to do it, not out of anger or anything) Two of the 1 year olds hit, just to hit. And they ONLY hit each other. They have somewhat of a love/hate relationship. No one ever gets hurt and 95% of the time they don't even make contact. We are working on stopping this. One
throwing toys Only the boys do this! And they were doing it often, but seem to be getting better now. We can throw balls and bean bags, so I put those out when the throwing starts. I took all the hard toys out of the playroom back when the throwing started so no one could get hurt
no progress in cleaning up after months of hand over hand No one cleans up except my son (and only sometimes). If I turn cleaning up into a game, they might help clean.
If they are doing something they arent supposed to be doing they ignore me until i start walking towards them, then they stop. Oh yes.
climbing on anyone who is sitting on the floor This has never happened--none of the kids do this.
hitting/pulling hair (just to do it, not out of anger or anything) Two of the 1 year olds hit, just to hit. And they ONLY hit each other. They have somewhat of a love/hate relationship. No one ever gets hurt and 95% of the time they don't even make contact. We are working on stopping this. One
throwing toys Only the boys do this! And they were doing it often, but seem to be getting better now. We can throw balls and bean bags, so I put those out when the throwing starts. I took all the hard toys out of the playroom back when the throwing started so no one could get hurt
no progress in cleaning up after months of hand over hand No one cleans up except my son (and only sometimes). If I turn cleaning up into a game, they might help clean.
If they are doing something they arent supposed to be doing they ignore me until i start walking towards them, then they stop. Oh yes.
melilley 11:44 AM 03-05-2014
Originally Posted by jenboo:
ok great! Just wanted to make sure I was handling this age correctly. Also, any advice for managing them with 2 older children (3-4 yr olds). My space is not big enough to divide the room. The poor older kids can't do anything without the little ones getting into it. One of the older girls is not used to being around littles. She does not like when they touch her, try to take her toys, etc. She just doesn't understand that they are still learning. The older kids can't really do anything unless what they are playing with is only in their hands. Even then the littles try to grab it from them. Im not sure how to juggle everything. I will try to do an activity/play with the younger ones to give the older ones some time to play without it getting ruined but it only lasts maybe 10 min.
I have one 3 yo, a 4 mo. old, two 1.5 yo's and two 2.5 yo's. Their behavior sounds typical to me and I agree with what Silver said.ok great! Just wanted to make sure I was handling this age correctly. Also, any advice for managing them with 2 older children (3-4 yr olds). My space is not big enough to divide the room. The poor older kids can't do anything without the little ones getting into it. One of the older girls is not used to being around littles. She does not like when they touch her, try to take her toys, etc. She just doesn't understand that they are still learning. The older kids can't really do anything unless what they are playing with is only in their hands. Even then the littles try to grab it from them. Im not sure how to juggle everything. I will try to do an activity/play with the younger ones to give the older ones some time to play without it getting ruined but it only lasts maybe 10 min.
As for the littles getting into the older kids' things, I often let the 3 yo and older 2.5 yo sit at my kitchen table and do certain things so the littles don't take whatever they are doing away from them. Other than that, I try to involve everyone in the activity, especially if it's art or sensory play and believe it or not, they actually will sit or stand and do the activity together w/o fighting and/or anyone getting mad. Other than that, I redirect the toddlers a lot! It gets tiring, but that's what comes with the toddler ages!
craftymissbeth 11:47 AM 03-05-2014
I used nannyde's suggestion of using a rolled up beach towel (or in my case a long thin blanket) to create a barrier on the floor... when I don't want anyone near the baby on the floor or if the 3 yo needs some extra space then I put the rolled up blanket down. Even the 14 month old I had knew not to cross the line. I don't have much space to give anyone a permanent place, but this helps create a temporary boundary. My kids even know not to EVER cross over where the carpet of the playroom and the hardwood of the dining room is unless they are invited to do so.
jenboo 12:00 PM 03-05-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
I used nannyde's suggestion of using a rolled up beach towel (or in my case a long thin blanket) to create a barrier on the floor... when I don't want anyone near the baby on the floor or if the 3 yo needs some extra space then I put the rolled up blanket down. Even the 14 month old I had knew not to cross the line. I don't have much space to give anyone a permanent place, but this helps create a temporary boundary. My kids even know not to EVER cross over where the carpet of the playroom and the hardwood of the dining room is unless they are invited to do so.
I watched the towel video and tried the towel thing for a month to keep them from shaking the baby gates. To be honest, I got tired of fixing the towel every 30 sec. The second i was not right at the towel, they would grab it and throw it. I have to change diapers in a different room and i got tired of coming back and fixing the towel. I felt like it occupied too much of my time and it took away from interacting with the kids. I used nannyde's suggestion of using a rolled up beach towel (or in my case a long thin blanket) to create a barrier on the floor... when I don't want anyone near the baby on the floor or if the 3 yo needs some extra space then I put the rolled up blanket down. Even the 14 month old I had knew not to cross the line. I don't have much space to give anyone a permanent place, but this helps create a temporary boundary. My kids even know not to EVER cross over where the carpet of the playroom and the hardwood of the dining room is unless they are invited to do so.
How long did it take to teach your DCKs?
jenboo 12:01 PM 03-05-2014
Originally Posted by melilley:
I have one 3 yo, a 4 mo. old, two 1.5 yo's and two 2.5 yo's. Their behavior sounds typical to me and I agree with what Silver said.
As for the littles getting into the older kids' things, I often let the 3 yo and older 2.5 yo sit at my kitchen table and do certain things so the littles don't take whatever they are doing away from them. Other than that, I try to involve everyone in the activity, especially if it's art or sensory play and believe it or not, they actually will sit or stand and do the activity together w/o fighting and/or anyone getting mad. Other than that, I redirect the toddlers a lot! It gets tiring, but that's what comes with the toddler ages!
What do you use or sensory play? I have two that put EVERYTHING in their mouths and one that will try to eat EVERYTHING!I have one 3 yo, a 4 mo. old, two 1.5 yo's and two 2.5 yo's. Their behavior sounds typical to me and I agree with what Silver said.
As for the littles getting into the older kids' things, I often let the 3 yo and older 2.5 yo sit at my kitchen table and do certain things so the littles don't take whatever they are doing away from them. Other than that, I try to involve everyone in the activity, especially if it's art or sensory play and believe it or not, they actually will sit or stand and do the activity together w/o fighting and/or anyone getting mad. Other than that, I redirect the toddlers a lot! It gets tiring, but that's what comes with the toddler ages!
craftymissbeth 12:08 PM 03-05-2014
Originally Posted by jenboo:
I watched the towel video and tried the towel thing for a month to keep them from shaking the baby gates. To be honest, I got tired of fixing the towel every 30 sec. The second i was not right at the towel, they would grab it and throw it. I have to change diapers in a different room and i got tired of coming back and fixing the towel. I felt like it occupied too much of my time and it took away from interacting with the kids.
How long did it take to teach your DCKs?
It literally took maybe 10 minutes... but as soon as they come near the blanket I remind them. I also change diapers in another room, but I started taking everyone with me all at once and I have a small basket of toys by the changing table. I have them sit down and they can sit there and play while I change diapers.I watched the towel video and tried the towel thing for a month to keep them from shaking the baby gates. To be honest, I got tired of fixing the towel every 30 sec. The second i was not right at the towel, they would grab it and throw it. I have to change diapers in a different room and i got tired of coming back and fixing the towel. I felt like it occupied too much of my time and it took away from interacting with the kids.
How long did it take to teach your DCKs?
IDK, maybe I'm just a meanie
melilley 12:15 PM 03-05-2014
Originally Posted by jenboo:
What do you use or sensory play? I have two that put EVERYTHING in their mouths and one that will try to eat EVERYTHING!
Lol, they do try to eat everything so I usually do edible things. I do different kinds of noodles a lot, but I also give them bowls, spoons, tongs, etc..it seems to curb the eating. I also let them rip magazines in the table, snow, chocolate snow (if I remember correctly, you don't have snow What do you use or sensory play? I have two that put EVERYTHING in their mouths and one that will try to eat EVERYTHING!
), marshmallows, cotton balls, large spongy stamps, oatmeal. Stuff like that. They love it!
jenboo 12:19 PM 03-05-2014
Originally Posted by melilley:
Lol, they do try to eat everything so I usually do edible things. I do different kinds of noodles a lot, but I also give them bowls, spoons, tongs, etc..it seems to curb the eating. I also let them rip magazines in the table, snow, chocolate snow (if I remember correctly, you don't have snow), marshmallows, cotton balls, large spongy stamps, oatmeal. Stuff like that. They love it!
You are right! Its almost summer here already. I will try a few of these. I just get so nervous about choking!! Ill just have to time it between diaper changes and hope no one poops haha ( i have to change diapers in a different room). I cant wait to get past this phase!Lol, they do try to eat everything so I usually do edible things. I do different kinds of noodles a lot, but I also give them bowls, spoons, tongs, etc..it seems to curb the eating. I also let them rip magazines in the table, snow, chocolate snow (if I remember correctly, you don't have snow
), marshmallows, cotton balls, large spongy stamps, oatmeal. Stuff like that. They love it!I am actually making sensory tables this weekend and Im super excited!
melilley 12:23 PM 03-05-2014
Originally Posted by jenboo:
You are right! Its almost summer here already. I will try a few of these. I just get so nervous about choking!! Ill just have to time it between diaper changes and hope no one poops haha ( i have to change diapers in a different room). I cant wait to get past this phase!
I am actually making sensory tables this weekend and Im super excited!
I used to be worried about choking, but when I have the table out I make sure I am right there. I honestly have never had a problem or never have come close to anyone choking. You are right! Its almost summer here already. I will try a few of these. I just get so nervous about choking!! Ill just have to time it between diaper changes and hope no one poops haha ( i have to change diapers in a different room). I cant wait to get past this phase!
I am actually making sensory tables this weekend and Im super excited!
That's funny, this phase is my favorite...lol I love babies and toddlers, even though toddlers can be hard work sometimes!
jenboo 12:24 PM 03-05-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
It literally took maybe 10 minutes... but as soon as they come near the blanket I remind them. I also change diapers in another room, but I started taking everyone with me all at once and I have a small basket of toys by the changing table. I have them sit down and they can sit there and play while I change diapers.
IDK, maybe I'm just a meanie
Maybe I just have a crazy group of boys haha. We are learning to sit in the hallway while we all wash hands and its crazy!!! They are all in different bedrooms, opening doors..its nuts! We have made a little progress after 3 weeks of doing this 5 days a week. It literally took maybe 10 minutes... but as soon as they come near the blanket I remind them. I also change diapers in another room, but I started taking everyone with me all at once and I have a small basket of toys by the changing table. I have them sit down and they can sit there and play while I change diapers.
IDK, maybe I'm just a meanie
They are so hard headed! Even when I worked in a center and I would help out in the toddler room, i dont remember the kids being like this....
jenboo 12:29 PM 03-05-2014
Originally Posted by melilley:
I used to be worried about choking, but when I have the table out I make sure I am right there. I honestly have never had a problem or never have come close to anyone choking.
That's funny, this phase is my favorite...lol I love babies and toddlers, even though toddlers can be hard work sometimes!
Ill trade you! this is my least favorite age group. I think i need to trade these boys for girls!I used to be worried about choking, but when I have the table out I make sure I am right there. I honestly have never had a problem or never have come close to anyone choking.
That's funny, this phase is my favorite...lol I love babies and toddlers, even though toddlers can be hard work sometimes!