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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Showdown with Daycare Mom
Thriftylady 05:53 AM 07-23-2015
So I just had a showdown with daycare mom. This is the one who left for cheaper care and came back. Well policies have always been a huge issue with her and this morning I had enough.

The deal is DCKs have to be here by 8 for breakfast or eat before they come. So DCM sleeps until the last minute (has told me "I was going to have her here on time but wasn't ready to get up yet"). So she jumps in the car in the morning and gives DCG who is 16 months a breakfast bar in the car. Every mourning she hads her to me and says "she's all sticky she is still eating". Well my rule is no outside food from home. So today I tell DCM "this is not fair to me, never again either she gets here on time for breakfast or she is finished and cleaned up before she comes, that may mean you have to get up fifteen minutes earlier, but you are a mom now". She says to me, "I didn't know the no outside food rule". So I asked if she read her handbook and she said no. GRRRR I told her that she had signed a contract saying she had and she needs to go home and read it. Now she starts crying and says "you you are saying I am a S*(& ty mom. I said "No I am telling you that you need to get your stuff together, parenting is not always easy I have been a parent for 25 years and I know that, but you are a parent now". Then she says "well I don't know what to feed her that she can eat". Grr this convo again so again I tell her all the things we eat and tell her just cut the food up and sit with her while she eats. The she says "but what about when she won't eat, she wouldn't eat any dinner last night". So again we go over that she won't starve herself.

She may start looking for other care, because I told her that I would not let her or any other parent come in here and disrupt my program and try to change how I run my business. She said she wasn't doing that. I told her "but you are if you expect me to make and/or clean up after the same meal several times a day, that takes away from my reading to the children, working on colors and all that. It isn't fair to me or the other parents and children to not have policies". I hate confrontation, but sometimes I guess you just have to do it. Backbone growing more.
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rosieteddy 06:19 AM 07-23-2015
Good for you.That drove me crazy.I stopped offering breakfast because parents were feeding crap in the car and spoiling their appetite.I also had the ''talk''.Stick to your policy.I did print out the chart about what a toddler should eat daily .I gave it to all parents with some meal suggestions for them.I told them to post it on their fridge for all caregivers to see what to feed the child and more importantly what the serving size was.Parents "said"it was helpful.You should now that you are a great sourse of info (even though it drives us crazy).
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Heidi 10:37 AM 07-23-2015

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cheerfuldom 02:25 PM 07-23-2015
I think you did the right thing.
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Thriftylady 02:31 PM 07-23-2015
I just sent another handbook home with dad and told him "I need you and mom to both read this tonight".
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Blackcat31 03:07 PM 07-23-2015
I have a statement on my contract signature page that parents must initial.

It says "Failure on my part to fully read the handbook does not give me valid excuse to disregard any policies and rules and I acknowledge that I can be terminated immediately for violation of any or all of ABC Child Care's policies"


I don't parent parents and I refuse to remind them, beg them or encourage them to read what they are signing and agreeing to.

They are adults. Not doing/doing something = a consequence

It's not a hard concept to grasp.
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Thriftylady 03:16 PM 07-23-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I have a statement on my contract signature page that parents must initial.

It says "Failure on my part to fully read the handbook does not give me valid excuse to disregard any policies and rules and I acknowledge that I can be terminated immediately for violation of any or all of ABC Child Care's policies"


I don't parent parents and I refuse to remind them, beg them or encourage them to read what they are signing and agreeing to.

They are adults. Not doing/doing something = a consequence

It's not a hard concept to grasp.
Yeah I have that on my contract also, well different words lol but same thing. I reminded her she initialed and signed it. But after dad picked up tonight she did come by and pay me for next week A day early.
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Blackcat31 03:19 PM 07-23-2015
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
Yeah I have that on my contract also, well different words lol but same thing. I reminded her she initialed and signed it. But after dad picked up tonight she did come by and pay me for next week A day early.
......Oooo, progress! She is learning!!

Hopefully she is a fast learner...for your benefit.

Parents "playing dumb" is one of my biggest per peeves...
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Thriftylady 03:26 PM 07-23-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
......Oooo, progress! She is learning!!

Hopefully she is a fast learner...for your benefit.

Parents "playing dumb" is one of my biggest per peeves...
Well maybe only learning that I am not going to roll over and play dead, but I will take it lol.
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Dilley Beans 04:49 PM 07-23-2015
My USDA Food rep said I had to feed any child that arrives before 9am. I would check that you're not going to get in trouble with them for refusing to feed this child.
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Thriftylady 05:18 PM 07-23-2015
Originally Posted by Dilley Beans:
My USDA Food rep said I had to feed any child that arrives before 9am. I would check that you're not going to get in trouble with them for refusing to feed this child.
I am not on the food program, but follow their guidelines. When I was, I was allowed to set my meal times, I just had to let the food program know when they were. When did that change? At that time my cut off was also 8 AM.

ETA: If not the cut off, I would not have the required amount of time between meals and snacks.
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Josiegirl 03:10 AM 07-24-2015
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
I am not on the food program, but follow their guidelines. When I was, I was allowed to set my meal times, I just had to let the food program know when they were. When did that change? At that time my cut off was also 8 AM.

ETA: If not the cut off, I would not have the required amount of time between meals and snacks.
That's the way it works here too. My cut-off is 8:30. Lunch is 11-11:30. That way the food program lady knows to come at those times if she needs to observe a meal. She came one time when I had already cleaned up most of the stuff by 11:15 but she saw what the remains were so knew what I had served was indeed on the menu. One of those days where you just have to get the dcks down for a nap before you pull out all of your hair. KWIM?

And kudos to you for sticking to your rules!! Shame on her for not reading your policies; clearly she's not taking your rules seriously. Maybe there's still hope for her to change?
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Blackcat31 05:32 AM 07-24-2015
Originally Posted by Dilley Beans:
My USDA Food rep said I had to feed any child that arrives before 9am. I would check that you're not going to get in trouble with them for refusing to feed this child.
That may be a rule from your agency but it is not a rule of the USDA food program.

Most providers are simply required to set designated meal serving times but that is the extent in which the food program dictates "having' to serve anyone.

Breakfast is not part of my program and ALL my kids arrive before 9am. All are fully fed at home. I am NOT required to feed anyone outside my program's designated meal times with the exception of infants as the state requires infants to be fed on demand and not be restricted to time frames.
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Sunchimes 06:49 PM 07-27-2015
Regarding the parents not reading the handbook, I have a paragraph offering a nice discount for parents who mention it within 2 weeks of signing up. It is strategically placed right in the middle of my illness policy. In 4 years, I have never had to honor the discount.
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Thriftylady 06:56 AM 07-28-2015
Originally Posted by Sunchimes:
Regarding the parents not reading the handbook, I have a paragraph offering a nice discount for parents who mention it within 2 weeks of signing up. It is strategically placed right in the middle of my illness policy. In 4 years, I have never had to honor the discount.
I have put that in there as well since BC mentioned it. It is a discount off my enrollment fee since I send the handbook home with them at first interview. Only had one person sign up since then, but haven't had to do it either.
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