Hello all. Submitting on unregistered for privacy, because I don't know what to do and I just need help.

So I work full time at a day care. My days begin at 8am, and end at 6:00pm including one half-hour break during that time. (Unpaid break.) I do this monday - friday. No benefits, or paid vacations and I make eight fifty an hour.

I work my absolute hardest and I take care of 6 - 8 (usually 8) one-year-old children every day, with one other person.

It's getting unbearable. Not only is the owner of the daycare hypercritical of only me, she is extremely negative towards only me. I have only ever done things to please her, and she finds faults in me every time I see her. While others are breaking the rules the State puts in place, (such as wearing gloves while changing children, etc.) I follow them. While others yell and punish the kids, I ask them not to do something and I distract them with another toy/book/activity. There are times when I snap and may raise my voice, but it has never happened when the child did not need it to happen, especially when the child is doing something that could harm them.

However, I feel as though I am constantly being watched because they don't trust me for some reason. I have never received positive feedback, no, "Hey, good job getting them all outside." or "I noticed you cleaned your room really well today. Great job." Not even any, "I know it's rough. Hang in there. We're here to support you." Instead, I feel as though I cannot even talk to my boss because she is so gossipy with her assistant and other workers.

I've worked there for a little over three months, and have been talked to maybe 5-6 times about things i have either not done, or things that I did not know to do because I did not get any training.

I feel like everything is against me, yet I continue to go, work as hard as I possibly can to try to change the negative view they have of me, yet I come home almost every day and I'm in tears from frustration and exhaustion. 9 1/2 hours is a lot to work, especially every single day.

Sometimes I want to speak up, but I don't have the courage to face my boss and her harem of gossipy, judging workers. It's so difficult. It feels like if I say something, they'll just fire me on the spot, or I'll suffer because they will spread rumors about me through the business.

I feel no joy, happiness, or really anything anymore about this job. Just exhaustion. Pure exhaustion. The children are no longer fun, they've become annoying and bothersome. I hate that it happened, but now I have a negative view of myself as a child care provider, and the children have stopped listening to me anyway (one has even completely tuned me out) and it is just frustrating, 1000% frustrating. A parent hates me and complains about me because I'm "new."

Any suggestions on what I should do? I know I should probably just leave, but finding a job isn't exactly the easiest of things.

Thank you for reading my rant, cookies if you made it to the end.

Reply

First of all - HUGS! You sound like a wonderful provider. Hang in there.

I would start looking for other jobs ASAP. Have you thought about running your own home daycare? In the meantime try to focus on things outside of work that will refresh you. Eat well and get a good night's sleep. At the end of each day congratulate yourself on something you know you did well and focus on something you enjoyed doing with the kids. Stay as far away from the gossipy co-workers as you can while still being polite and professional. Vent here

Reply

I realized I posted this in the wrong place..I'm sorry!

Its not a home day care but I'm sure you wonderful people can help me out. It's a shame I'm so burnt out after I get home, or I would be out there searching for another job..

Reply

You can post here for center daycare too. There are a few providers on here that work in centers and many members who do home based daycare used to work in centers.

I can identify so much with how you are feeling. When I first graduated I worked in a center with toddlers. I was the youngest employee by decades and everyone else had been working there for a long time. Gossip and criticism were abundant. Many of the employees had no idea what they were doing. I felt awful everyday.

Try not to get caught up in the gossip. Just smile and keep doing a good job and following the rules and regs. Try to look for a new job in any spare time you can. Hang in there!

Reply

Just wanted to send that .

Reply

Thank you. I needed that.

Reply

Sorry you have to feel so horrible doing a job you love.
I used to work in centers, 3 of them where I was the toddler and lead infant and toddler teacher. I left each to move to a better center with better pay and now have my own in home. While I have not been criticized or anything I have been burnt out. And I know that in a lot of center settings, people do look down on the newbies. I don't know why, but it happens. In most of the centers that I worked at, you definitely could see the clicks, kinda like hs, but I have also noticed that usually the newbies eventually get "accepted". I have also seen how the directors sometimes buddy up with other teachers and do gossip, it's so unprofessional and silly. The people that have worked there forever feel like they are better and know more and blah blah blah. Not everyone or every center is like that though. Hopefully they will see how hard you are working and will be nicer to you. As for the parents, I have noticed that sometimes it takes a while for them to warm up. Have they said they didn't like you? Or do they just not talk to you? Sometimes I thought a parent didn't like me so I would come out of my comfort zone and talk to them every day even if I was uncomfortable and eventually they would warm up to me. I still talk to some of those parents to this day and it's been years since I've cared for their children.

One thing that stood out was the fact that you only get a half hour break? I don't know off the top of my head what the law is, but I'm pretty sure you legally should get an hour. I would look into that!

Just keep doing what you are doing, it sounds like you are a great teacher and care! In the mean time, I would definitely look for another job!

Reply

I didn't work in a center but in a gym "Playcare" which operated under a lot of the same regulations as a daycare center. Anyway, it was very similar to what you describe. Gossipy, catty, backstabbing, negative, etc. most girls I worked with were 18-24 and had no children. I was almost 30 with several children and daycare experience. Some would come in hung-over and slow, call in sick all the time leaving us either over our numbers and scrambling to find coverage or turning unhappy parents away at what would have been drop-off. I described it as loving the kids I worked with but not being able to tolerate the adults I worked with! Even the management was ridiculous at times so there was no where to go with a problem.
Good luck! I would find a new job! I think the other person up there was asking if you've considered opening a home daycare in your own home.

Reply

I'm only nineteen, and I'm actually leaving for college in January, so I have absolutely zero desire to open my own! Haha. The encouragement here is helping already. <3

Reply

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I work in a center and know exactly what you're talking about. For about 3 years, my center has been doing the same thing with new hires. Sometimes it's justified. The majority of the time though, it's unfounded because the "lead teacher" is being shown up by the new person.

It sounds to me that your partner is a slacker but good friends with the Director. While I don't have any advice, I do recommend you document every time you are called out on something, good or bad. Hang in there but if it gets too unbearable, quit if possible. If you know you're in the right, then you shouldn't feel bad.

Reply

Use this experience to get you through college and earn your degree. Unfortunately I've found this behavior to be pretty much par for the course in lower paid professions

Reply

I have worked at numerous centers, and have seen good people like you treated horribly. Doing a great job probably means you are out doing others that just want to do the status quo, do the minimum, and go home. You are making the others look bad, by being so good In my experience, it's not going to change. You don't deserve this treatment, and you shouldn't tolerate it.
Can you get a babysitting job? Babysitting is great money, less aggravation, and a good job while in college. You would be surprised how many stay at home moms will pay good money to get out for a few hours. Advertise on care.com and craigslist. You can't change these people, so I wouldn't even try. Find somewhere where hard work is appreciated, and don't settle for less

Reply

. This is another reason centers have a bad name. Again, hang in there.

Reply

You're nineteen? From your post, you sound very mature, caring, and self-aware. It seems like you have high standards for yourself and a good work ethic. Honestly, I did not have all of those qualities at 19!

Hang in there until January when you leave for college! Post here in the meanwhile for support.

You could always consider a nanny job PT in the evenings while in college or even a summer nanny position. With your experience, you'd be very qualified. Care.com is a great place to look for jobs. Then you can choose your family, only care for the number of kids you want to care for, and get rid of that negative work environment you are in!

Reply

after years of working in the same kind of environment ive finally found a center that has its downsides but tends to let me do what i want with kiddos. my best advice is stick to your own routine. be ready for the changes they throw in but do your own thing. work with your kids. do things with them. follow state procedures but dont push them on the others and add me if youd like we can chat. and vent here often. we all snap at kids sometimes. it happens in this environment but try not to take it out on them. remember your there for the kiddos not the gossip

Reply

ive had the same sort of problems

Reply

Thank you! It's honestly such a big compliment that you believed I was older than I am. I was very upset when I wrote the original post, and I was concerned I sounded like a six year old. :P I wanted to have some maturity to be able to explain thoroughly what was happening.

I finally got up the guts, and talked to my boss. I decided I wanted to work there only part time, about 20 hours a week. I will also be working with the preschoolers, which has its positives and negatives. I'll miss my "babies" badly, but I won't have to change as many diapers (I have a bad back/knee from years of horseback riding and ballet injuries) which will be amazing to reduce the stress on my body, and mind.

Just trying to be positive, positive, positive and LOVE on my kiddos! I gave and received lots of hugs and smoochies from them today. It was an awesome feeling.

That's all for now. I appreciate the immense support and the stories from you all. It's *so* nice to know that I'm not alone in this, and that you all struggle too. Childcare is an extremely hard profession, and my hat is off to you ladies who have been doing it for a long time.

Reply

Member BlackCat31 posted something about burn out. Worth a read: https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=66513

Reply

I had actually just found that before you posted and I thought it was a great read. It's sometimes difficult for me to find reliable information on topics like that, but I saw a lot of the signs of stress/burnout in myself. Although it doesn't surprise me, it worries me how quickly I became burnt out and how bad it has gotten. Going to take my long weekend and relax, put my feet up, and then go see a doctor about my joints!

Reply