We have two families who don't celebrate any holidays for religious reasons. Family #1 is in my class (4s) and Family #2 is in 3s. Family #1 is pt and arrives after 10 am when she comes so I can schedule any art projects books etc for early morning or their off days. Family #2 however is ft and DCG is a sunup/sundown child. About a month ago we were yelled at by Dcd because DCG participated in a birthday party. He was told that nobody told us anything so we didn't know. He then asked if DCGs teachers would sort them know in advance about any holiday related activities. They said yes. On Halloween, DCG was picked up early and everything was fine.

This morning, DCD came in with DCG's class calendar marked in red the activities that she can not do. It was basically the entire calendar. Her teachers don't know what to do. I'm more than willing to take her to my room when her class is doing whatever but how often are we supposed to do this? And what do we do when my class is in the middle of an activity that she can't join in? We can't shift her from room to room and she always go to the front office. We don't want her parents to have to come and get her everytime or even keep her home. This is a first for us and we don't want to be insensitive to anyone's beliefs. How would you handle this? Is there even a way to accommodate their wishes? Thanks in advance and I'll try to check back before I get off.

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I had a Jehovah's witness family in care before. Why they chose to enroll with me is beyond me. I celebrate everything from Chinese New Year to Cinco de Mayo.

After trying to schedule everything on their day off, they finally termed.

How long has she been there? Why is it JUST an issue now? Don't they receive the calendar monthly that they knew the activities?

I would say that she could go to the office and color/puzzles/small toys when the class is doing a birthday or holiday.

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She's been here since February. I find it odd too since she's participated in the Easter Egg hunt and other birthday parties. Calendars are given out monthly and are color coded to show different activities. DCG came from one of our sister schools so my Director called and asked them if there were any problems with parties/holidays. They said no. They would have someone pick her up or she would go to another class.

If this was a serious issue, why did they wait until now to tell us? As far as taking her to another room, we have no problem doing this at all. The problem will come in December because the Center goes all out for Christmas. We do something Christmas related almost every day. Her teachers are going to start looking for winter art projects for her to do so she won't feel left out.

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Could they be new to a religion that doesn't participate in holidays? Maybe they just recently started going to a church that doesn't believe in this.

This maybe an excellent time to talk to parents about this. Explain to them that the center will try in all ways to accomodate but if not possible she will either need picked up or sent to the office to do quiet activities.

Having them learn this at an early age with their child will prepare them for the road ahead for school.

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We had one family like this in the last center I worked at. I worked it out that she didn't attend our parties (went to another classroom) and if we did art that was specifically holiday themed (jack o lanterns, Christmas trees, menorahs, Easter eggs, mummies, vampires ect) I would give her a generic project to do. I did however, still run into issues. In October I had my weekly lessons planned out. We did 2 letters a week, 2 numbers a week, two colors and for science we were learning about animals. So one week in October, I planned it so we did letter B, color black and the animal was bat. (Don't remeber the other lessons off the top of my head)
I figured she could join since it was very early in the month, so not halloween yet AND bats aren't specifically only Halloween animals. We learned all about bats and then painted one (handprints) in black (our color). Mom got so upset! Said she couldn't take the project home bc although she was more flexible, DCD was NOT. I explained that I chose those things bc for the OTHER kids, it could be related to the holiday but I thought it was generic enough for DCG. Needless to say, the art stayed in the classroom.
Later that month we did scarecrows and pumpkins. I figured again, it's more SEASONAL and not holiday specific... This time DCD came. He pitched a fit! It was like he enjoyed making things difficult! I asked him "what about falling leaves for fall? What about snowmen for winter? What about learning about the ocean and beach in the summer?" He just stood there looking at me like I was insane! It was so very frustrating.the poor kid watched her father toss her beautiful art into the trash. I wanted to cry for her. She was kindergarten age, so it was very upsetting to her. ESPECIALLY since all of her friends witnessed the scene, her father flipping out, girl crying, art into the trash... They didn't understand what was happening. It was horrible!

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When I worked in a center, we didn't celebrate "holidays". Instead we had a Winter Party for Christmas, Fall Harvest was Thanksgiving, we did have a Halloween party and V-day party, but I forgot what they called those (I don't think they changed those names). Could your center name the holidays something else? Or is this child not allowed to participate in any party?

For my home dc, I tell parents when they enroll that I celebrate all holidays. I know you work in a center so that probably isn't in your control.

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I'm the same way. I ask EVERY family at the interview if they have issues with their child learning about and celebrating holidays. I was raised catholic and have raised my children with a catholic education, so we celebrate the major christian holidays. My fiancé is Jewish so we celebrate the major Jewish holidays and finally, As an adult, I chose a different path and am now what many would consider Pagan. So we make a big deal about the changing of the seasons here.... We learn a little about all traditions. So far not one family has had an issue. Thank goodness.

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Oooo. Zeee Eeevil Paaagan Holidays Yeah, I actually had one family tell me that was worse than celebrating Christmas or Sukkot or Halloween or anything.

They didn't last long My philosophy is that anyone who attends here is welcome to share their holidays with our group, so that we all can learn about people who are like us in many ways, and different in some ways. We do it in a spirit of learning and inclusiveness. I hope we do anyway

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...almost sounds like a "sneaky" way to get some one on one for their child.

Especially because she HAS participated in the past.

Personally, if THEY have the issue then THEY have to figure it out. On all the days that DCD marked a red x, I'd ask HIM what HE plans to do about it.

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I think it's interesting to learn about other people's beliefs. I myself am not sure what I believe in and embarrassingly, I don't really know much about any belief or religion. My dad was (he passed away) a born again Christian and his church scared the crap out of me when I was younger so I've shied away from any church.

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Blackcat's, I like your suggestion of putting it back on them. They're not new to their religion. Mom told us that. It just seems strange that it was ok earlier in the year and now it's not.

Country, my Director has asked to meet with them to work on a solution. Like I said we're worried about appearing insensitive and offending them.

Hazel, this has never been an issue before. We are advertised as a Christian Daycare so most people understand we celebrate "Christian" holidays. The parents of the DCG in my class told us up front about their religion and that they won't bring her for any celebrations.

DCG's teachers are going to do generic seasonal projects with her so she doesn't feel left out. But until they have the meeting with her parents, she'll just come to my class while they do their holiday project.

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I would have them either come get her a half hour before the party or have them pay for a staff assistant for her during that time.

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Who in the world enrolls their child in a day care that is advertised as a Christian day care and gets upset about all the holiday celebrations?? Since they have this belief should they have ways to work around the other celebrations. This can't be the first time they or someone they know have faced this. Shouldn't their church know ways to avoid difficult situations such as these?

Could the director maybe get in touch with the local Kingdom hall and ask for ways to work through this? Also they might want to consult their lawyer just incase. We live in such a litigious time and I wouldn't put it past someone to try and find a reason to sue.

Please let us know what happens

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This is what I thought of when I read that you are Christian day care. Why did they enroll? Almost like they are looking for trouble

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No, it won't. I live in a sue happy state. Everyone has a lawyer in the family. Schools/classes have to accommodate children who don't celebrate and you can't deny them a public education. My nephew has holidays taken away from his public school. He's also had things changed to "winter" festivals and other such nonsense. In my local area, the Jewish school burned down. They housed in the public school while their school was being rebuilt. They had week long holidays. A lot of the summer got cut to accommodate them, because they are legally entitled to a public education. It's all about the minority now and who lawyers up first.

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When I worked in a hs, I had a lot of Muslim fathers like that. They usually worked. So, it was only on parents night. They seemed to have a problem with every thing. The mothers were so kind, but the fathers were nuts.

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We thought this too so we re-read the parent handbook. It clearly says that we are a Christian Daycare and lists the holidays we celebrate. Director looked in their file and confirmed they signed it with the date they signed it. If they are thinking about this, then we're covered.

I'm not sure when they're meeting. I know it's this week. I'll post an update. Thanks ladies.

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We had a Jehovah's Witness family last year...we often were running around trying to find something for him to do during the 20 birthday parties, practice for the holiday pageant, holiday-specific art projects, etc.

And my center does major hoopla for every holiday...I couldn't for the life of me understand why they enrolled with us. Why do that to your kid??

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Maybe your hand book needs an update that is specific abut who needs to be responsible for the kid not participating. Mine is going to say something like this. I already considered this since we live in a fairly diverse neighborhood. This is my current draft:

"Daycare celebrates Christian and state holidays with decorations and themed activities. I do not believe in excluding children from activities but respect that some may not want their children to participate. If parents feel strongly their child cannot participate in birthdays, festivities or holiday based activities, foods and events, the parents will need to make other arrangements on days dedicated to these festivities. Parents will be informed of holiday goings on via calendar and monthly newsletter. Parents are responsible for finding alternative care for the day of festivities."

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DCG's teacher called a few minutes ago to tell me about the meeting. She said it was very strange. When they sat down to talk, she asked if it was ok to do seasonal art projects as long as that particular holiday wasn't represented. He said he didn't care and that he can't see why they're making such a big deal out of this. She reminded him about his comments the other day and how upset he was. He told her he didn't care what type of art she did just don't let her go to the parties. She told me it was totally weird. My Director told him that on party days that he should plan to pick up early because every class will have a party. He said ok and then walked out.

Now she's confused and worried that he might start some trouble. She said that she won't do the art and asked if she could come to my class on those days. Maybe it's just me but this doesn't feel right. Do any of you think that he may try to say we're discriminating against them. I mean, why make such a big deal about not celebrating holidays and when presented with an alternate situation you get an attitude.

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Document document and then document some more. The director should have something typed up outlining what he wants. Have him sign it to cover yourself.

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Is this a public or private school? I think the director should just term them if it's private. They do sound like they're looking for trouble. I had a parent like this once. It wasn't about religion/holidays. She wanted me to lie on a form and state her child had signs of a disability when they were normal. I politely declined. I should have called social services on her, but I wanted to be nice. Well, almost two months later. She calls me one morning and says her child won't be coming in and "you know why". Ok... A few months later, I got a very unprofessional letter from her lawyer. The letter stated I pushed the child down a flight of stairs and there were witnesses. I took my security camera footage and went to a company to get it copied and send the copy to her lawyer of the date in question and never heard from her again. A year later, this child was in public school and ended up suing the school and winning. When these sorts see dollars signs, it's like a pitbull. They will latch onto you and until they get what they want. It's get to cut them off at the bypass. These sorts, have no remorse in their actions. They will destroy people knowing their accusations are untrue and then feel they are victims. I would get rid of this family if your center is private.

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I truly doubt they would get very far accusing a CHRISTIAN daycare of discrimination for celebrating Christian holidays or even birthdays. I wouldn't be concerned.

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After thinking about it, i think that no one has ever put the decision back on him and he didn't have an answer. Thanks again, Ladies.

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I feel like he should sign something

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