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Old 10-18-2019, 08:33 AM
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Default How Do You Deal With This?

I have a 4yo girl who cries most days when mom drops off. She has a 16 month old brother who come in happy and waves goodbye to mom each day. Mom was off yesterday and today, but still brought kids both days. Yesterday and today, 4yo cried even more at drop offs telling mom she wants to stay home with her. Mom has checked in each day about 30 minutes after drop off wondering how she is doing because she knows she left her here screaming and crying. Usually it takes DCG all through breakfast to settle down. As well as multiple times a day, she will just start crying and I can't get her to tell me what is wrong.
Even if mom is not telling DCG she is not working, I think kids get to a certain age where they just recognize that a parent isn't going to work on a particular day. (Not wearing work clothes, didn't pack a lunch, didn't bring work materials in the car, etc.) I can't help but feel bad for the child wanting to stay home and be in the comfort of their own home to spend the day with their parent! Mom has joked in the past she needs the days off to herself to stay "sane". I know it shouldn't bother me since I am still getting paid, but it is just hard to watch a child struggle so much who just wants to spend time with mom.
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Old 10-18-2019, 11:25 AM
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CountryRoads CountryRoads is online now Member
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I used to get very annoyed when parents would drop off their kids to me knowing they weren't working. I realized I had to change my mindset or it was going to drive me crazy - because it happens a lot.

Now, it makes me feel good knowing that this family wants their child to come to me instead of staying home with them. It may be for their own selfish reasons, but I'm just glad their child has somewhere to go where they are cared for and loved. I look at it like it is their loss, not mine.

I don't have any 4 year olds, so I can't relate to that part. But, I would imagine it would be a little more difficult for you to have a different attitude when the child knows their mom is home and is upset. It must be hard for her to understand
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Old 10-18-2019, 12:39 PM
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Ariana Ariana is online now
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I have kids who come to my house when their parents are home and they don’t cry at drop off. I have only had one kid cry consistently at drop off and it was mostly about attention. His sister would run in happily but he needed his moms attention more than her so he would start milking it the night before. Even the mom emailed me one night asking why her son was so upset. When I told her that it was a manipulation tactic and he just wanted her attention she understood it. She kept repeating to him “its ok to feel sad but you have to go to daycare” over and over it stopped!
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4 year old, separation anxiety

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