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Old 10-23-2019, 09:27 AM
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Default The Dreaded "I Think He Has Outgrown Naps" Talk

DCB is 4 - turns 5 in February.

Nap here is from about 12 (usually it's closer to 12:15) to 2:30. At 2:30, I wake everyone up regardless if they are asleep or not. Lights on, sound machine off, blinds open.

DCB usually falls asleep between 12:15 and 12:30 and is hard to wake at 2:30. 4/5 days he is still asleep at 2:30 when I wake everyone.

His bedtime at home is 8:30pm, but mom said he has been falling asleep later in the evening (9:30pm) then not wanting to wake in the morning.

My policy (in my handbook, signed by parents, but we all know that doesn't always mean anything) is that nap time is from 12:00 to 2:30 and if after 30 minutes of quiet resting children are still awake they will be given books and quiet activities to do on their cot for the remainder of nap period. Basically I don't force a child to sleep or stay awake. I provide a relaxing environment and if they sleep, great. If not, that's okay too. I have one 3 year old who never sleeps more than an 1. Never. Her body just doesn't need it.

Advice for when this conversation happens more?

Just reiterate my policy?
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  #2  
Old 10-23-2019, 09:43 AM
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Just repeat policy.Parent needs to wake child in am ,serve breakfast and get ready for the day.My advice to her would be start bedtime "routine" earlier.No Tv after 7:30 quiet play in bedroom story and lights out by 8pm.Then she needs to wake him earlier for the day.I would just say group care nap time 12:30 to 2:30.
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Old 10-23-2019, 10:11 AM
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The minute the topic of giving up naps comes up, I let parents know they have 2 options;

Option #1: Pick up child before my scheduled rest time so their child can skip the nap on their time.

or

Option #2: I ask immediately if they are giving their notice of withdrawal as they surely aren't asking me for individualized services within group care.

Most stop talking about nap with me all together.
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Old 10-23-2019, 10:30 AM
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Tell mom me isn't napping anymore and see if he magically starts going to bed to on time again
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Old 10-23-2019, 11:54 AM
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Funny story.

I had one mom last year that tried to have this discussion with me. Even after referring her to my handbook, which specifically states "every child enrolled rests at nap time. Do not ask me to refrain from naps as I do not offer that service."

Apparently she didn't believe me because she asked again. I told her she could hire a nap time sitter to come pick him up for the two hours/day the group here rests (1-3). The going rate for that service around here is $18/hour if she can find it. The sitter would need to take the child off the property of course. So transportation, insurance and taxes are her responsibility.
Breaking that down- she would jump from paying me $180/week for 5 days a week to $360+/week for one child eliminating naps. I also told her that would be getting off cheap, since if I did entertain the idea, I would charge time and a half for adding two hours onto the end of my day to catch up on what I missed doing at nap. $27/hour (2 hours a day, 5 days a week is $270 plus my $180 weekly fee=$450/wk).
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Old 10-23-2019, 12:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowmom View Post
Funny story.

I had one mom last year that tried to have this discussion with me. Even after referring her to my handbook, which specifically states "every child enrolled rests at nap time. Do not ask me to refrain from naps as I do not offer that service."

Apparently she didn't believe me because she asked again. I told her she could hire a nap time sitter to come pick him up for the two hours/day the group here rests (1-3). The going rate for that service around here is $18/hour if she can find it. The sitter would need to take the child off the property of course. So transportation, insurance and taxes are her responsibility.
Breaking that down- she would jump from paying me $180/week for 5 days a week to $360+/week for one child eliminating naps. I also told her that would be getting off cheap, since if I did entertain the idea, I would charge time and a half for adding two hours onto the end of my day to catch up on what I missed doing at nap. $27/hour (2 hours a day, 5 days a week is $270 plus my $180 weekly fee=$450/wk).
What did mom say to that?
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Old 10-23-2019, 12:53 PM
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What did mom say to that?
I texted it, so I didn't get to see the reaction in person. If it ever happens again, I will definitely do it in person, because I think it'd be funny.
She just responded "ok". Never mentioned it again. Child napped like a champ everyday too.
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Old 10-23-2019, 02:31 PM
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I always say that kids must lie quietly at nap time and it is their choice to sleep. I do not wake sleeping kids. I must have repeated this to one mom for over a year. Kid would sleep one hour yet somehow that would make kid stay up until 11pm. I am friends with her on FB and she has no issues posting her kids asleep in the car or on the sofa in the afternoon after “playing hard” but when they were with me they couldn’t nap
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Old 10-23-2019, 02:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Snowmom View Post
I texted it, so I didn't get to see the reaction in person. If it ever happens again, I will definitely do it in person, because I think it'd be funny.
She just responded "ok". Never mentioned it again. Child napped like a champ everyday too.
I love it
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Old 10-23-2019, 03:02 PM
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Thanks all. Little fell asleep here within 10 minutes of lights out. Clearly his body and mind are needing the rest. His nap neighbor - my girl who only sleeps an hour, woke after one hour as always.

I always equated naps and potty trained children wearing pulls up the same. A child who is truly potty trained would not pee in a pull-up simply because it is on. And a child who is truly not in need of a nap would not fall asleep just because it is nap time. Does that make sense?

Hopefully this discussion doesn't go any further than today.
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Old 10-24-2019, 05:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby Beluga View Post
Thanks all. Little fell asleep here within 10 minutes of lights out. Clearly his body and mind are needing the rest. His nap neighbor - my girl who only sleeps an hour, woke after one hour as always.

I always equated naps and potty trained children wearing pulls up the same. A child who is truly potty trained would not pee in a pull-up simply because it is on. And a child who is truly not in need of a nap would not fall asleep just because it is nap time. Does that make sense?

Hopefully this discussion doesn't go any further than today.
Totally makes sense and I totally agree!
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Old 10-24-2019, 07:08 AM
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I like to turn it around on the parents and ask what their post daycare routine is. Do they have one? Do the get outside to play, then in electronics etc.

I have a 3.5 year old who won't nap for mom or their summer/back up daycare. He sleeps 2.5 hours or more for me. He still goes to bed just fine because they play hard during and after daycare.
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Old 10-24-2019, 11:17 AM
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Originally Posted by LittleExplorers View Post
I like to turn it around on the parents and ask what their post daycare routine is. Do they have one? Do the get outside to play, then in electronics etc.

I have a 3.5 year old who won't nap for mom or their summer/back up daycare. He sleeps 2.5 hours or more for me. He still goes to bed just fine because they play hard during and after daycare.
This!!!!!! I tell parents all the time ...we play hard!!! My kids are out within 10 min of laying diwn. You can ask parents what they do after daycare....they will never tell you the truth...IMO. parents do what works for them....makes their life easier.
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Old 10-24-2019, 11:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby Beluga View Post
Thanks all. Little fell asleep here within 10 minutes of lights out. Clearly his body and mind are needing the rest. His nap neighbor - my girl who only sleeps an hour, woke after one hour as always.

I always equated naps and potty trained children wearing pulls up the same. A child who is truly potty trained would not pee in a pull-up simply because it is on. And a child who is truly not in need of a nap would not fall asleep just because it is nap time. Does that make sense?

Hopefully this discussion doesn't go any further than today.
Absolutely agree with that comparison! I have a kid right now who does not sleep. She lies quietly on her bed for the full rest time. My own kids would lie in their beds and not fall asleep.
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Old 10-30-2019, 11:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowmom View Post
Funny story.

I had one mom last year that tried to have this discussion with me. Even after referring her to my handbook, which specifically states "every child enrolled rests at nap time. Do not ask me to refrain from naps as I do not offer that service."

Apparently she didn't believe me because she asked again. I told her she could hire a nap time sitter to come pick him up for the two hours/day the group here rests (1-3). The going rate for that service around here is $18/hour if she can find it. The sitter would need to take the child off the property of course. So transportation, insurance and taxes are her responsibility.
Breaking that down- she would jump from paying me $180/week for 5 days a week to $360+/week for one child eliminating naps. I also told her that would be getting off cheap, since if I did entertain the idea, I would charge time and a half for adding two hours onto the end of my day to catch up on what I missed doing at nap. $27/hour (2 hours a day, 5 days a week is $270 plus my $180 weekly fee=$450/wk).
I loved this so much and today the opportunity presented itself for me to use this. The look on her face made my week!!
At first she thought I was joking but after I assured her I wasn’t and to let me know if she’d rather pull him in favor of finding a nanny for home she said she’d just push his bedtime back.
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Old 10-30-2019, 01:32 PM
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I loved this so much and today the opportunity presented itself for me to use this. The look on her face made my week!!
At first she thought I was joking but after I assured her I wasn’t and to let me know if she’d rather pull him in favor of finding a nanny for home she said she’d just push his bedtime back.
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