Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Blood Curdling Screaming
Unregistered 11:09 AM 11-12-2013
First of all... I don't want to hear people who wear babies all day tell me to do that. It's not an option. I will not even consider it. If you do that. More power to you. I am not judging you and I support your decision but I absolutely will not consider it. Please do not try to talk me into it or tell me I am terrible for not doing it.
This is a question for the people who work the way that I do (Not wearing babies constantly).... Have you ever quit a family because you cannot get a child to stop screaming all day? I was hoping it would be a phase but it is not changing. It almost seems to be getting worse.
I have had this child from the time she was 6 weeks old and every.single.day she screams from the minute her mom leaves to the time she leaves. Blood curdling shrieking, exorcist style screaming non stop. The only time she does not is if I am holding her...and she will smile. She is perfectly fine if she is held. I put her on the mat to play with toys... nope... put her in the saucer... nope. Put her in the swing... nope... swaddling does not help anymore, she is too big.
She is cute when she is happy but I feel like I am losing my sanity.
Mom admits that she and her husband trade off at home nonstop because she can't bare to listen to it. He has even told her she needs to let her cry and then mom says she tells him "can you HEAR her?!"
I keep mentioning that she cries all day start to finish and that I am ready for the end of the day but I don't think I'm getting through. I am at the point where I am about to say that she needs to make a turn around or she is going to have to find someone who can give her more one on one attention. It is distracting me from the other children and I cannot give only one of 6 children my undivided attention.
I will be losing her and her brother who is here part time if that is the case. I love the family but at this point it is almost worth it.
This is a question for the people who work the way that I do (Not wearing babies constantly).... Have you ever quit a family because you cannot get a child to stop screaming all day? I was hoping it would be a phase but it is not changing. It almost seems to be getting worse.
I have had this child from the time she was 6 weeks old and every.single.day she screams from the minute her mom leaves to the time she leaves. Blood curdling shrieking, exorcist style screaming non stop. The only time she does not is if I am holding her...and she will smile. She is perfectly fine if she is held. I put her on the mat to play with toys... nope... put her in the saucer... nope. Put her in the swing... nope... swaddling does not help anymore, she is too big.
She is cute when she is happy but I feel like I am losing my sanity.
Mom admits that she and her husband trade off at home nonstop because she can't bare to listen to it. He has even told her she needs to let her cry and then mom says she tells him "can you HEAR her?!"
I keep mentioning that she cries all day start to finish and that I am ready for the end of the day but I don't think I'm getting through. I am at the point where I am about to say that she needs to make a turn around or she is going to have to find someone who can give her more one on one attention. It is distracting me from the other children and I cannot give only one of 6 children my undivided attention.
I will be losing her and her brother who is here part time if that is the case. I love the family but at this point it is almost worth it.
Unregistered 11:10 AM 11-12-2013
She is now 6 months old
jojosmommy 11:14 AM 11-12-2013
Omg! I could have wrote this post.
Hugs to you!
I have this exact issue, started at 6 weeks, now 6 months and full on whiner. Medically fine, fed, changed, needs met. Yet not happy.
I HOPE someone has good advice. Just wanted to say I 100% understand what you are going through.
Hugs to you!
I have this exact issue, started at 6 weeks, now 6 months and full on whiner. Medically fine, fed, changed, needs met. Yet not happy.
I HOPE someone has good advice. Just wanted to say I 100% understand what you are going through.
Unregistered 11:20 AM 11-12-2013
Originally Posted by jojosmommy:
Omg! I could have wrote this post.
Hugs to you!
I have this exact issue, started at 6 weeks, now 6 months and full on whiner. Medically fine, fed, changed, needs met. Yet not happy.
I HOPE someone has good advice. Just wanted to say I 100% understand what you are going through.
I know... I am literally on my last leg here. Nothing is "sinking in" with mom. I have had this family for 2 years but I cannot keep a child who is this dependent of every ounce of my time all day. There are days where even holding her is not enough... she has to be TALKED to as well. That's fine off and on but I can't do this undivided thing all day OR listen to the exorcist. I just can't do this anymore.Omg! I could have wrote this post.
Hugs to you!
I have this exact issue, started at 6 weeks, now 6 months and full on whiner. Medically fine, fed, changed, needs met. Yet not happy.
I HOPE someone has good advice. Just wanted to say I 100% understand what you are going through.
Play Care 11:23 AM 11-12-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I know... I am literally on my last leg here. Nothing is "sinking in" with mom. I have had this family for 2 years but I cannot keep a child who is this dependent of every ounce of my time all day. There are days where even holding her is not enough... she has to be TALKED to as well. That's fine off and on but I can't do this undivided thing all day OR listen to the exorcist. I just can't do this anymore.
Really, you have your answer. I know... I am literally on my last leg here. Nothing is "sinking in" with mom. I have had this family for 2 years but I cannot keep a child who is this dependent of every ounce of my time all day. There are days where even holding her is not enough... she has to be TALKED to as well. That's fine off and on but I can't do this undivided thing all day OR listen to the exorcist. I just can't do this anymore.
cara041083 11:33 AM 11-12-2013
I had a lil boy that did that. When I talked to the parents, they told me to stand in front of a mirror and let him look at his self and that would calm him 
Ya I don't think so. Im like you I won't carry a baby around eaither. I would term. Its not worth the added stress if it can't be resolved.
Ya I don't think so. Im like you I won't carry a baby around eaither. I would term. Its not worth the added stress if it can't be resolved.
Heidi 11:38 AM 11-12-2013
Does she sleep?
If she can't go to sleep on her own, and is thus not sleeping enough (4 hours per day would be ideal), then she is going to be a wreck no matter what you do.
At 6 months, she is perfectly capable of being on a schedule. Morning nap 1 hour, afternoon nap with everyone else.
Nan says put them to bed right away at arrival, then up at 9. Then a busy morning and back to bed after lunch at noon. I would absolutely put her to bed on your schedule, and make her stay put until YOU say nap is over. Use white noise. She'll get it really quick now, but if you wait another month or two and she can stand up, it's a lot harder.
Look at it this way-she's crying 99% of the time anyway, so there should be no guilt about CIO. If there is, go in every 10 minutes, a quick hair stroke, and a "it's still nap time". Or, just lay her down and walk back out. Most of mine that I've had like that just get madder when you do that, though.
I bet that once she starts sleeping on a regular schedule, and independently, you'll see a big change. Try it for 2 weeks. If it doesn't change, then you can still "fire" her.
If she can't go to sleep on her own, and is thus not sleeping enough (4 hours per day would be ideal), then she is going to be a wreck no matter what you do.
At 6 months, she is perfectly capable of being on a schedule. Morning nap 1 hour, afternoon nap with everyone else.
Nan says put them to bed right away at arrival, then up at 9. Then a busy morning and back to bed after lunch at noon. I would absolutely put her to bed on your schedule, and make her stay put until YOU say nap is over. Use white noise. She'll get it really quick now, but if you wait another month or two and she can stand up, it's a lot harder.
Look at it this way-she's crying 99% of the time anyway, so there should be no guilt about CIO. If there is, go in every 10 minutes, a quick hair stroke, and a "it's still nap time". Or, just lay her down and walk back out. Most of mine that I've had like that just get madder when you do that, though.
I bet that once she starts sleeping on a regular schedule, and independently, you'll see a big change. Try it for 2 weeks. If it doesn't change, then you can still "fire" her.
Annalee 11:44 AM 11-12-2013
Since I had to term a crying child after keeping her nine longgggg months, I go by the "if a child has not adjusted to dc after 12 weeks they will never adjust" rule and terminate.....just can't handle the crying especially if parents aren't willing to help with the issue.
Unregistered 11:46 AM 11-12-2013
Originally Posted by Heidi:
Does she sleep?
If she can't go to sleep on her own, and is thus not sleeping enough (4 hours per day would be ideal), then she is going to be a wreck no matter what you do.
At 6 months, she is perfectly capable of being on a schedule. Morning nap 1 hour, afternoon nap with everyone else.
Nan says put them to bed right away at arrival, then up at 9. Then a busy morning and back to bed after lunch at noon. I would absolutely put her to bed on your schedule, and make her stay put until YOU say nap is over. Use white noise. She'll get it really quick now, but if you wait another month or two and she can stand up, it's a lot harder.
Look at it this way-she's crying 99% of the time anyway, so there should be no guilt about CIO. If there is, go in every 10 minutes, a quick hair stroke, and a "it's still nap time". Or, just lay her down and walk back out. Most of mine that I've had like that just get madder when you do that, though.
I bet that once she starts sleeping on a regular schedule, and independently, you'll see a big change. Try it for 2 weeks. If it doesn't change, then you can still "fire" her.
That is actually the schedule that I follow.Does she sleep?
If she can't go to sleep on her own, and is thus not sleeping enough (4 hours per day would be ideal), then she is going to be a wreck no matter what you do.
At 6 months, she is perfectly capable of being on a schedule. Morning nap 1 hour, afternoon nap with everyone else.
Nan says put them to bed right away at arrival, then up at 9. Then a busy morning and back to bed after lunch at noon. I would absolutely put her to bed on your schedule, and make her stay put until YOU say nap is over. Use white noise. She'll get it really quick now, but if you wait another month or two and she can stand up, it's a lot harder.
Look at it this way-she's crying 99% of the time anyway, so there should be no guilt about CIO. If there is, go in every 10 minutes, a quick hair stroke, and a "it's still nap time". Or, just lay her down and walk back out. Most of mine that I've had like that just get madder when you do that, though.
I bet that once she starts sleeping on a regular schedule, and independently, you'll see a big change. Try it for 2 weeks. If it doesn't change, then you can still "fire" her.
It was better when she was initially sleeping more at the beginning. There are days she barely sleeps anymore. She FLIPS out when I lay her down in the pack and play and leave the room. It is ridiculous what a train wreck she turns into. Pure hysterics....
I always feed her first and lay her down. I try to make sure she's good and full. Some days she will sleep but most she is too busy flipping out. If I go in like you said and leave she just gets more mad like you said. It seems to ignite the drama more.
sharlan 11:51 AM 11-12-2013
I am wondering if you don't have a type of round robin situation going on.
The baby starts the screaming, you get stressed (naturally), the baby gets more stressed, the other kids get stressed, you get more stressed, on and on.
If the mom is not willing to work with you, it might be time to let this family go.
My last baby was a screamer. She spent the first 4 mos of her life attached to Mom's breast 24/7. I kept telling Mom that she had to stop and set some limits. Slowly Mom did. In the mean time, about 6 wks, baby did a lot of screaming. Fortunately I was able to put her in a separate room that was totally dark for naps. I would sit outside the door and let her scream for 5 mins, I'd go in and comfort her, never picking her up. Once she was able to turn from her back to her tummy, the screaming stopped. We also spent a lot of time with her in the stroller. Sometimes I would even have the stroller in the house and walk her around.
Good luck.
The baby starts the screaming, you get stressed (naturally), the baby gets more stressed, the other kids get stressed, you get more stressed, on and on.
If the mom is not willing to work with you, it might be time to let this family go.
My last baby was a screamer. She spent the first 4 mos of her life attached to Mom's breast 24/7. I kept telling Mom that she had to stop and set some limits. Slowly Mom did. In the mean time, about 6 wks, baby did a lot of screaming. Fortunately I was able to put her in a separate room that was totally dark for naps. I would sit outside the door and let her scream for 5 mins, I'd go in and comfort her, never picking her up. Once she was able to turn from her back to her tummy, the screaming stopped. We also spent a lot of time with her in the stroller. Sometimes I would even have the stroller in the house and walk her around.
Good luck.
Heidi 11:54 AM 11-12-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
That is actually the schedule that I follow.
It was better when she was initially sleeping more at the beginning. There are days she barely sleeps anymore. She FLIPS out when I lay her down in the pack and play and leave the room. It is ridiculous what a train wreck she turns into. Pure hysterics....
I always feed her first and lay her down. I try to make sure she's good and full. Some days she will sleep but most she is too busy flipping out. If I go in like you said and leave she just gets more mad like you said. It seems to ignite the drama more.
So, how long do you leave her be? I've never had a tired child last 20 minutes. It certainly SEEMS like more, so I set my microwave timer for 7 minutes, and if they aren't winding down by then, I'll go in and resettle. It's quite dark in my sleeping rooms, there is a fan, and they have a sleep sack and a book and pacifiers. I would not do the pacifiers again, because honestly it's just another battle when they throw them out, but with my 11 mo's I'm stuck with them for a little longer. Will be ditching them soon. That is actually the schedule that I follow.
It was better when she was initially sleeping more at the beginning. There are days she barely sleeps anymore. She FLIPS out when I lay her down in the pack and play and leave the room. It is ridiculous what a train wreck she turns into. Pure hysterics....
I always feed her first and lay her down. I try to make sure she's good and full. Some days she will sleep but most she is too busy flipping out. If I go in like you said and leave she just gets more mad like you said. It seems to ignite the drama more.
Do you have others that sleep at the same times? If so, put them to bed first, making a big show of saying night night. Maybe wind things down with a lullaby first. Then, put them to bed first, and her LAST (so she sees everyone else going). Lay her down, give her blanket if applicable, and say goodnight. Then walk away, turn on your bathroom fan and stove vent and every fan you can find. Do NOT go back in for at least 10 minutes. If after that time she's still raging, go in, lay her down, whisper good night, and walk away. Rinse and repeat until nap is over.
After the nap is over, walk around singing some wake up song LOUDLY. Get her up FIRST. Smile brightly, did you have a nice rest? Etc. Sunny...fake it if you have to. Then get anyone else up.
Afternoon nap, same thing.
Try it for this week and next. If by next Friday she doesn't go with the flow, she's not meant for group care.
Blackcat31 11:55 AM 11-12-2013
A year or so ago, I could have wrote the very same post.
I stuck it out. The kid got better, but until they turned a year old.
I look back now and I swear I must have lost my mind in all the screeching and crying because I have NO idea what I was thinking allowing it to continue on for as long as it did.
The parents were the SAME as you said...mom and dad taking turns passing back and forth, giving in until the next daycare day came so they could drop off and get a break.
I loved loved loved the family so I felt obligated to stick it out. I also had a sibling that I didn't want to leave either.
Anyways, my story ends with me doing ALL the hard work, putting up with the screeching, allowing the other kids to go silently insane and not understand at all why..... and the family up and pulls their child because they wanted a different type of environment.
My advice. Stop. Don't continue being the one who bears the majority of the weight in this situation. If the child isn't blending in and being happy, don't keep them.
Give the issue back to the parents. Whether they are or aren't on board doesn't matter. What matters is you care for a GROUP of children and ONE is making the GROUP miserable (including the provider) so stop allowing ONE child to set the tone for the day.
Let the parents know that you like/love them and the kid(s) but until the child is able, you just can't continue on the way things are.
(((Hugs))) for dealing. I will NEVER EVER EVER do that again. Did I mention NEVER?
I stuck it out. The kid got better, but until they turned a year old.
I look back now and I swear I must have lost my mind in all the screeching and crying because I have NO idea what I was thinking allowing it to continue on for as long as it did.
The parents were the SAME as you said...mom and dad taking turns passing back and forth, giving in until the next daycare day came so they could drop off and get a break.
I loved loved loved the family so I felt obligated to stick it out. I also had a sibling that I didn't want to leave either.
Anyways, my story ends with me doing ALL the hard work, putting up with the screeching, allowing the other kids to go silently insane and not understand at all why..... and the family up and pulls their child because they wanted a different type of environment.
My advice. Stop. Don't continue being the one who bears the majority of the weight in this situation. If the child isn't blending in and being happy, don't keep them.
Give the issue back to the parents. Whether they are or aren't on board doesn't matter. What matters is you care for a GROUP of children and ONE is making the GROUP miserable (including the provider) so stop allowing ONE child to set the tone for the day.
Let the parents know that you like/love them and the kid(s) but until the child is able, you just can't continue on the way things are.
(((Hugs))) for dealing. I will NEVER EVER EVER do that again. Did I mention NEVER?
hgonzalez 11:57 AM 11-12-2013
I have the same child here, three weeks into daycare. She has slept a total of 1.5 hours the last two days here (40 mins today) and has been screaming most of the rest of the day. If I hold her, she is fine.
Not sure I can keep doing this either. I finally put her in her crib, she is screaming and I need a break.
Not sure I can keep doing this either. I finally put her in her crib, she is screaming and I need a break.
Unregistered 11:57 AM 11-12-2013
And I agree about the screaming and CIO. Just for my sanity and the rest of the kids for that matter I have resorted to that but she is stubborn. It just comes to a point and time where I am like, your needs are met...
You've been fed
You've been changed
You don't need to burp
you've had enough attention
Nothing is making you happy and I have other stuff I have to get done so you are just going to have to continue to scream it out alone
Your needs are met... I just keep saying that
....but you can still hear her upstairs on the opposite side of the house. And it worries me when parents walk in and hear that what they must think...which is another reason I'm about ready to part here. I don't want to give an impression that I'm trying to neglect her obviously. I can't have us all sitting her listening to it all day though.
You've been fed
You've been changed
You don't need to burp
you've had enough attention
Nothing is making you happy and I have other stuff I have to get done so you are just going to have to continue to scream it out alone
Your needs are met... I just keep saying that
....but you can still hear her upstairs on the opposite side of the house. And it worries me when parents walk in and hear that what they must think...which is another reason I'm about ready to part here. I don't want to give an impression that I'm trying to neglect her obviously. I can't have us all sitting her listening to it all day though.
Heidi 12:02 PM 11-12-2013
You know, BC brings up a good point.
Taking that into account, I would tell the parents "here is my plan..." Then, do it. Tell them you EXPECT them to do the same thing on the weekend. IF they don't feel like they can do that, then they need to make other care arrangements immediately. If they are willing to work together, then you will give it two weeks.
Yeah, you're pretty much blackmailing them. But, you're willing to do the work if they are.
As far as carrying her around, I would not do it. If she's pulling on your legs wanting attention, I'd say "oh, you want a hug? why of course I'll give you a hug!" Then, bend down and hug her (don't pick her up). Then move on. I'd only carry her if I had to...to get her from A to B. But, I would make sure to give her lots of quick moments of hugs, pats, hair stroking throughout the day to reassure her.
Taking that into account, I would tell the parents "here is my plan..." Then, do it. Tell them you EXPECT them to do the same thing on the weekend. IF they don't feel like they can do that, then they need to make other care arrangements immediately. If they are willing to work together, then you will give it two weeks.
Yeah, you're pretty much blackmailing them. But, you're willing to do the work if they are.
As far as carrying her around, I would not do it. If she's pulling on your legs wanting attention, I'd say "oh, you want a hug? why of course I'll give you a hug!" Then, bend down and hug her (don't pick her up). Then move on. I'd only carry her if I had to...to get her from A to B. But, I would make sure to give her lots of quick moments of hugs, pats, hair stroking throughout the day to reassure her.
Blackcat31 12:07 PM 11-12-2013
Originally Posted by Heidi:
As far as carrying her around, I would not do it. If she's pulling on your legs wanting attention, I'd say "oh, you want a hug? why of course I'll give you a hug!" Then, bend down and hug her (don't pick her up). Then move on. I'd only carry her if I had to...to get her from A to B. But, I would make sure to give her lots of quick moments of hugs, pats, hair stroking throughout the day to reassure her.
Another thing I was taught in regards to difficult kids was do NOT pick them up. If they want to be held, immediately sit down and allow them to sit on your lap. As far as carrying her around, I would not do it. If she's pulling on your legs wanting attention, I'd say "oh, you want a hug? why of course I'll give you a hug!" Then, bend down and hug her (don't pick her up). Then move on. I'd only carry her if I had to...to get her from A to B. But, I would make sure to give her lots of quick moments of hugs, pats, hair stroking throughout the day to reassure her.
Do NOT pick them up and carry them. That gives them the false sense that they belong in "the world up there".... they do NOT. Their world is down low.
ANYTIME the child wants to be held, sit. Supposedly, the child will eventually learn that being held means being held down in their world and since that isn't as fun as being "UP", they stop wanting to be held.
I've never actually done it because I didn't learn about the technique until after my screamer kid but I have advised parents who say their child wants to be held all day at home to do it and have heard some really good success stores about it really working.
Unregistered 12:11 PM 11-12-2013
The room she sleeps in is dark. It's my son's room and the room is a royal blue color and it has denim curtains... .
She fights the sleep sacks now. She used to like them but now she gets more mad if I use them. I run a fan in her room. She has a pacifier that works while you hold her but as soon as you set her down she spits it out and starts her screaming. And like I said... if I go in to reassure her she gets even more mad when I leave again. It's a no win.
She fights the sleep sacks now. She used to like them but now she gets more mad if I use them. I run a fan in her room. She has a pacifier that works while you hold her but as soon as you set her down she spits it out and starts her screaming. And like I said... if I go in to reassure her she gets even more mad when I leave again. It's a no win.
Unregistered 12:14 PM 11-12-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Another thing I was taught in regards to difficult kids was do NOT pick them up. If they want to be held, immediately sit down and allow them to sit on your lap.
Do NOT pick them up and carry them. That gives them the false sense that they belong in "the world up there".... they do NOT. Their world is down low.
ANYTIME the child wants to be held, sit. Supposedly, the child will eventually learn that being held means being held down in their world and since that isn't as fun as being "UP", they stop wanting to be held.
I've never actually done it because I didn't learn about the technique until after my screamer kid but I have advised parents who say their child wants to be held all day at home to do it and have heard some really good success stores about it really working.
In all honestly your style is more like mine Blackcat. I don't hold the kids much other than once in awhile I will sit down and watch a movie with them and one will climb in my lap on occasion. But I have noticed with this child especially that the more I pick her up the more she expects it so I try to meet her needs and not encourage much more. Every so often I will. I talk to her. I give her toys and show her how to play with them, ect but it doesn't take much for her to run with it.Another thing I was taught in regards to difficult kids was do NOT pick them up. If they want to be held, immediately sit down and allow them to sit on your lap.
Do NOT pick them up and carry them. That gives them the false sense that they belong in "the world up there".... they do NOT. Their world is down low.
ANYTIME the child wants to be held, sit. Supposedly, the child will eventually learn that being held means being held down in their world and since that isn't as fun as being "UP", they stop wanting to be held.
I've never actually done it because I didn't learn about the technique until after my screamer kid but I have advised parents who say their child wants to be held all day at home to do it and have heard some really good success stores about it really working.
Leanna 12:22 PM 11-12-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
First of all... I don't want to hear people who wear babies all day tell me to do that. It's not an option. I will not even consider it. If you do that. More power to you. I am not judging you and I support your decision but I absolutely will not consider it. Please do not try to talk me into it or tell me I am terrible for not doing it.
Well alrighty then...First of all... I don't want to hear people who wear babies all day tell me to do that. It's not an option. I will not even consider it. If you do that. More power to you. I am not judging you and I support your decision but I absolutely will not consider it. Please do not try to talk me into it or tell me I am terrible for not doing it.
jojosmommy 12:27 PM 11-12-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
The room she sleeps in is dark. It's my son's room and the room is a royal blue color and it has denim curtains... .
She fights the sleep sacks now. She used to like them but now she gets more mad if I use them. I run a fan in her room. She has a pacifier that works while you hold her but as soon as you set her down she spits it out and starts her screaming. And like I said... if I go in to reassure her she gets even more mad when I leave again. It's a no win.
Starting to wonder if we SHARE the same kid?! Lol. The room she sleeps in is dark. It's my son's room and the room is a royal blue color and it has denim curtains... .
She fights the sleep sacks now. She used to like them but now she gets more mad if I use them. I run a fan in her room. She has a pacifier that works while you hold her but as soon as you set her down she spits it out and starts her screaming. And like I said... if I go in to reassure her she gets even more mad when I leave again. It's a no win.
Everything you have said is exactly what I would have said. Mom/dad cater to kid. Older sibling has been here forever too!
I dread this kid. I can not bond with a kid so miserable. I have done cio for two weeks (this is the 3rd week) of cio but she has been here since July. And no improvement.
I dislike that my dcks know "shes" here. They all dread her too. Its all I have each friday not to play Let Freedom Ring and tell her buh bye!
I feel bad for you.
Laurel 12:34 PM 11-12-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
A year or so ago, I could have wrote the very same post.
I stuck it out. The kid got better, but until they turned a year old.
I look back now and I swear I must have lost my mind in all the screeching and crying because I have NO idea what I was thinking allowing it to continue on for as long as it did.
The parents were the SAME as you said...mom and dad taking turns passing back and forth, giving in until the next daycare day came so they could drop off and get a break.
I loved loved loved the family so I felt obligated to stick it out. I also had a sibling that I didn't want to leave either.
Anyways, my story ends with me doing ALL the hard work, putting up with the screeching, allowing the other kids to go silently insane and not understand at all why..... and the family up and pulls their child because they wanted a different type of environment.
My advice. Stop. Don't continue being the one who bears the majority of the weight in this situation. If the child isn't blending in and being happy, don't keep them.
Give the issue back to the parents. Whether they are or aren't on board doesn't matter. What matters is you care for a GROUP of children and ONE is making the GROUP miserable (including the provider) so stop allowing ONE child to set the tone for the day.
Let the parents know that you like/love them and the kid(s) but until the child is able, you just can't continue on the way things are.
(((Hugs))) for dealing. I will NEVER EVER EVER do that again. Did I mention NEVER?
A year or so ago, I could have wrote the very same post.
I stuck it out. The kid got better, but until they turned a year old.
I look back now and I swear I must have lost my mind in all the screeching and crying because I have NO idea what I was thinking allowing it to continue on for as long as it did.
The parents were the SAME as you said...mom and dad taking turns passing back and forth, giving in until the next daycare day came so they could drop off and get a break.
I loved loved loved the family so I felt obligated to stick it out. I also had a sibling that I didn't want to leave either.
Anyways, my story ends with me doing ALL the hard work, putting up with the screeching, allowing the other kids to go silently insane and not understand at all why..... and the family up and pulls their child because they wanted a different type of environment.
My advice. Stop. Don't continue being the one who bears the majority of the weight in this situation. If the child isn't blending in and being happy, don't keep them.
Give the issue back to the parents. Whether they are or aren't on board doesn't matter. What matters is you care for a GROUP of children and ONE is making the GROUP miserable (including the provider) so stop allowing ONE child to set the tone for the day.
Let the parents know that you like/love them and the kid(s) but until the child is able, you just can't continue on the way things are.
(((Hugs))) for dealing. I will NEVER EVER EVER do that again. Did I mention NEVER?
Heidi 12:38 PM 11-12-2013
Originally Posted by Leanna:
Well alrighty then...
yeah, I don't think OP meant in in a mean way. Well alrighty then...
It's just a common answer, and if one isn't willing, for whatever reason, to baby-wear, why not cut to the chase and save you fine ladies who do the trouble?Every time someone suggests it, I want to strap all 4 of my kids to me and take a picture to post, but I never have. It'd be pretty funny, though.
Heidi 12:40 PM 11-12-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Another thing I was taught in regards to difficult kids was do NOT pick them up. If they want to be held, immediately sit down and allow them to sit on your lap.
Do NOT pick them up and carry them. That gives them the false sense that they belong in "the world up there".... they do NOT. Their world is down low.
ANYTIME the child wants to be held, sit. Supposedly, the child will eventually learn that being held means being held down in their world and since that isn't as fun as being "UP", they stop wanting to be held.
I've never actually done it because I didn't learn about the technique until after my screamer kid but I have advised parents who say their child wants to be held all day at home to do it and have heard some really good success stores about it really working.
I may have read or heard that somewhere, too. Sometimes we gather information, file it away in the back of our brains, and have no clue where we got it. 'Specially if we're into "middle age" like me. Another thing I was taught in regards to difficult kids was do NOT pick them up. If they want to be held, immediately sit down and allow them to sit on your lap.
Do NOT pick them up and carry them. That gives them the false sense that they belong in "the world up there".... they do NOT. Their world is down low.
ANYTIME the child wants to be held, sit. Supposedly, the child will eventually learn that being held means being held down in their world and since that isn't as fun as being "UP", they stop wanting to be held.
I've never actually done it because I didn't learn about the technique until after my screamer kid but I have advised parents who say their child wants to be held all day at home to do it and have heard some really good success stores about it really working.
daycarediva 01:12 PM 11-12-2013
I would have a sit down with parents, give them a schedule that you do/are adhering to for baby, include less holding, not co sleeping and learning to self-soothe and state in the notice that if there is not significant improvement in baby's demeanor, you WILL be letting them go on X date.
No way, no how would I ever do this again. I lasted 9 months and every day was a nightmare. My kids hated it, my daycare kids hated it, my dh hated it, but most of all I hated it, every single second.
No way, no how would I ever do this again. I lasted 9 months and every day was a nightmare. My kids hated it, my daycare kids hated it, my dh hated it, but most of all I hated it, every single second.
Leigh 02:04 PM 11-12-2013
I termed a screamer last spring. She was pure hell. The other kids hated her, would put their hands over their ears when she walked in the door. A 2 year old told me to kick her out of daycare. My husband was ready to divorce me, because I let it go on for 6 weeks (he works night shift), and he hadn't had a rest in that long. I did everything I could, but nothing was enough.
The child did the same at home. Her parents were not concerned, but told me that at 8 months, she was just spoiled, and that they just set her on the floor and ignore her, and that I should do the same.
The problem was that the child was allergic to milk, and the parents switched her from her milk-free formula back to milk-based. That is when the screaming started, and it never stopped. I pushed the parents to switch formula back to the one their doctor had advised for the milk allergy. I pushed them to take her to the doctor. They refused. The day I wrote the termination letter was the happiest day I had had since I accepted her into care. This kid was here 10 hours a day, and screamed 9.5 of them. She refused naps (in 6 weeks, that kid MAYBE slept 90 minutes here). Her parents put her to bed at 6PM screaming, and didn't get her up until it was time for daycare (8AM drop off). I felt so terribly sorry for that little girl, but she was not my child, and I could not let it be my problem any longer. I termed and I reported the parents to social services for the formula issue. I have no idea why these parents switched (probably because the Parent's Choice brand didn't make the formula they used), but they were making this poor girl's life hell and, literally, hurting her.
I'll never put up with an all-day screamer again. Not worth it, no matter how much you care for the kid OR the paycheck.
The child did the same at home. Her parents were not concerned, but told me that at 8 months, she was just spoiled, and that they just set her on the floor and ignore her, and that I should do the same.
The problem was that the child was allergic to milk, and the parents switched her from her milk-free formula back to milk-based. That is when the screaming started, and it never stopped. I pushed the parents to switch formula back to the one their doctor had advised for the milk allergy. I pushed them to take her to the doctor. They refused. The day I wrote the termination letter was the happiest day I had had since I accepted her into care. This kid was here 10 hours a day, and screamed 9.5 of them. She refused naps (in 6 weeks, that kid MAYBE slept 90 minutes here). Her parents put her to bed at 6PM screaming, and didn't get her up until it was time for daycare (8AM drop off). I felt so terribly sorry for that little girl, but she was not my child, and I could not let it be my problem any longer. I termed and I reported the parents to social services for the formula issue. I have no idea why these parents switched (probably because the Parent's Choice brand didn't make the formula they used), but they were making this poor girl's life hell and, literally, hurting her.
I'll never put up with an all-day screamer again. Not worth it, no matter how much you care for the kid OR the paycheck.
blessed mom 02:11 PM 11-12-2013
I think you should terminate.
Babies build confidence in that first year of life. You can't spoil them by holding them too much, they need to be held. After about 1 or just under that is a different story. It's not always possible in a day care situation to hold a baby as much as they need. It's not a good fit for you, so you may as well terminate.
Babies build confidence in that first year of life. You can't spoil them by holding them too much, they need to be held. After about 1 or just under that is a different story. It's not always possible in a day care situation to hold a baby as much as they need. It's not a good fit for you, so you may as well terminate.
Unregistered 02:19 PM 11-12-2013
Originally Posted by Heidi:
yeah, I don't think OP meant in in a mean way. It's just a common answer, and if one isn't willing, for whatever reason, to baby-wear, why not cut to the chase and save you fine ladies who do the trouble?
Every time someone suggests it, I want to strap all 4 of my kids to me and take a picture to post, but I never have. It'd be pretty funny, though.
Yeah... I really didn't mean it to sound rude. I just wanted to be clear that it wasn't going to be something anyone would be able to talk me into. yeah, I don't think OP meant in in a mean way.
It's just a common answer, and if one isn't willing, for whatever reason, to baby-wear, why not cut to the chase and save you fine ladies who do the trouble?Every time someone suggests it, I want to strap all 4 of my kids to me and take a picture to post, but I never have. It'd be pretty funny, though.
I respect people who are willing to do that. Great for them but its just not for me. I need my space and I am clearly one who believes that it is completely possible to spoil an infant.
Not for me.
Blackcat31 02:21 PM 11-12-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Yeah... I really didn't mean it to sound rude. I just wanted to be clear that it wasn't going to be something anyone would be able to talk me into.
I respect people who are willing to do that. Great for them but its just not for me. I need my space and I am clearly one who believes that it is completely possible to spoil an infant.
Not for me.
So have you come to any conclusions as to what you are going to do?Yeah... I really didn't mean it to sound rude. I just wanted to be clear that it wasn't going to be something anyone would be able to talk me into.
I respect people who are willing to do that. Great for them but its just not for me. I need my space and I am clearly one who believes that it is completely possible to spoil an infant.
Not for me.
MyAngels 02:37 PM 11-12-2013
Was the older brother this way, too? If not it could be an issue other than just wanting to be held.
I had this same child at one point and I just want to say it absolutely can turn around in some cases. I had various work around to get through it, and eventually mine turned into the sweetest child you could imagine. I've had both of her brothers here and they were both non-screamers. A lot of my little girls' issues were with over stimulation. Looking back, I think she would have been much happier with one-on-one care, but it did work out with a little time and some tough CIO sessions here.
I had this same child at one point and I just want to say it absolutely can turn around in some cases. I had various work around to get through it, and eventually mine turned into the sweetest child you could imagine. I've had both of her brothers here and they were both non-screamers
. A lot of my little girls' issues were with over stimulation. Looking back, I think she would have been much happier with one-on-one care, but it did work out with a little time and some tough CIO sessions here.
Unregistered 02:58 PM 11-12-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
So have you come to any conclusions as to what you are going to do?
Well give the fact that mom changed the story today and says she is fine at home and they don't have any problems with her at all I am thinking about terming instead of giving them the option to work it out. All the sudden her story has changed but don't they always I guess... So have you come to any conclusions as to what you are going to do?
I honestly feel like its better than to work through this because I am at my limit and i don't want to deal with games. I just had a major death in my family and lost the closest person to me. She was my grandmother but more like my mother. She was also my backup help who lived next door to me and which I no longer have now for relief. I can't afford new cause she did it for free even.
Just too much weighing on me right now for games.
countrymom 02:58 PM 11-12-2013
when i get back from ds's tutoring I will tell you what happened with me.
nannyde 04:02 AM 11-13-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Another thing I was taught in regards to difficult kids was do NOT pick them up. If they want to be held, immediately sit down and allow them to sit on your lap.
Do NOT pick them up and carry them. That gives them the false sense that they belong in "the world up there".... they do NOT. Their world is down low.
ANYTIME the child wants to be held, sit. Supposedly, the child will eventually learn that being held means being held down in their world and since that isn't as fun as being "UP", they stop wanting to be held.
I've never actually done it because I didn't learn about the technique until after my screamer kid but I have advised parents who say their child wants to be held all day at home to do it and have heard some really good success stores about it really working.
https://www.daycare.com/forum/showth...ighlight=pointAnother thing I was taught in regards to difficult kids was do NOT pick them up. If they want to be held, immediately sit down and allow them to sit on your lap.
Do NOT pick them up and carry them. That gives them the false sense that they belong in "the world up there".... they do NOT. Their world is down low.
ANYTIME the child wants to be held, sit. Supposedly, the child will eventually learn that being held means being held down in their world and since that isn't as fun as being "UP", they stop wanting to be held.
I've never actually done it because I didn't learn about the technique until after my screamer kid but I have advised parents who say their child wants to be held all day at home to do it and have heard some really good success stores about it really working.
providerandmomof4 04:44 AM 11-13-2013
Originally Posted by dapb45:
Since I had to term a crying child after keeping her nine longgggg months, I go by the "if a child has not adjusted to dc after 12 weeks they will never adjust" rule and terminate.....just can't handle the crying especially if parents aren't willing to help with the issue.
I agree. Your sanity is worth more. Sometimes you have to do it and it's no reflection on you.Since I had to term a crying child after keeping her nine longgggg months, I go by the "if a child has not adjusted to dc after 12 weeks they will never adjust" rule and terminate.....just can't handle the crying especially if parents aren't willing to help with the issue.
My3cents 12:23 PM 11-13-2013
Have the child taken to the Dr. to rule out anything medical.
Ears- Fluid in ears.
Ears- Fluid in ears.
dingledine 01:23 PM 11-13-2013
I have a child that blood curdling screams. I considered terming her, but we worked out the issues... the parents were on the same page though. That is mind scattering, and stressful to you, and the other kids. I would term her.
Unregistered 01:41 PM 11-14-2013
Well I did it. It was hard and I feel terrible but I know this was for the best. I gave her my 2 week notice and she said she will try to find someone for her to watch her tomorrow and see if her husband just wants to be done. She left without saying goodbye. I am sure she is really hurt. it was hard for me! It sucks but I do feel a huge weight lifted.
daycare 01:44 PM 11-14-2013
I know how hard it is to term. It really stinks. BUT you did the right thing for everyone involved.
Hopefully the parents will GET it.........
Blackcat31 01:48 PM 11-14-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Well I did it. It was hard and I feel terrible but I know this was for the best. I gave her my 2 week notice and she said she will try to find someone for her to watch her tomorrow and see if her husband just wants to be done. She left without saying goodbye. I am sure she is really hurt. it was hard for me! It sucks but I do feel a huge weight lifted.
Sometimes doing the right thing doesn't feel like it and I am sure she was/is hurt but you still did the right thing. Well I did it. It was hard and I feel terrible but I know this was for the best. I gave her my 2 week notice and she said she will try to find someone for her to watch her tomorrow and see if her husband just wants to be done. She left without saying goodbye. I am sure she is really hurt. it was hard for me! It sucks but I do feel a huge weight lifted.
Tomorrow I am telling my family that is doing the two week trial that I won't be enrolling on a permanent basis.
I learned a long time ago that being self-employed means I DO get to decide if something makes me happy or is doable.
I WANT to get up each morning and like my job. When it gets to the point that you are miserable or slowly going insane, you HAVE to change something.
It's okay to feel bad. Just because it was a business decision doesn't mean there weren't emotions involved.
In a few days, you will look back and be at peace with the decision you made.
Unregistered 08:23 PM 11-14-2013
Quick question. If other patents ask what happened to kids who left this abruptly how do you usually respond?
Unregistered 08:31 PM 11-14-2013
Dad called me and said they probably will not be returning for the remainder. He was surprised but seemingly not surprised at the same time if that makes sense. He said mom has not been telling him of any issues so he was inquiring a lot but did not get angry or frustrated. I got the feeling like he understood but was just blindsided since I do not see him much and therefore had not been communicatin these problems and mom had not mentioned it. I told him I had been having conversations off and on with mom about babies dependency becoming so high.
I referred him to my sons old daycare facility who might be able to offer more 1:1 with her in their nursery. I just feel so bad.
I referred him to my sons old daycare facility who might be able to offer more 1:1 with her in their nursery. I just feel so bad.
countrymom 05:43 AM 11-15-2013
it has nothing to do with you, its the parents. I had a kid like this at that age.
after all the needs were met, all the kid did was scream. She was able body walker but all she wanted was to be carried all day.
mom and dad would give me conflicting reports like she never ever behaved like that at home but dad would be like "she just screams at home till you carry her around"
till one day the dad took her outside and she screamed and screamed that the neighbour came to see what the heck was going on. Thats when they tried to fix it.
I don't think its necessary the 1 on 1 care they need, its that they want to be carried all day long and don't know what to do.
after all the needs were met, all the kid did was scream. She was able body walker but all she wanted was to be carried all day.
mom and dad would give me conflicting reports like she never ever behaved like that at home but dad would be like "she just screams at home till you carry her around"
till one day the dad took her outside and she screamed and screamed that the neighbour came to see what the heck was going on. Thats when they tried to fix it.
I don't think its necessary the 1 on 1 care they need, its that they want to be carried all day long and don't know what to do.
Leigh 06:01 AM 11-15-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Quick question. If other patents ask what happened to kids who left this abruptly how do you usually respond?
When I termed my screamer (and thank God, I have only had one), the other parents had already been complaining, and their kids had been complaining to them. The parents were relieved and grateful when I told them that I had termed her. The other parents understand that this is my income, and were pretty supportive of my trying to give her a chance to adjust and for the parents to get help for her, but I did have one parent (of 2 of my kids) hint that she was thinking of pulling her kids because the screamer was bothering them so much. This kid screamed from drop off to pick up, and all of the other parents had witnessed it and been disturbed by it.Quick question. If other patents ask what happened to kids who left this abruptly how do you usually respond?
Unregistered 06:11 AM 11-15-2013
Originally Posted by countrymom:
I don't think its necessary the 1 on 1 care they need, its that they want to be carried all day long and don't know what to do.
I think you can't train a child to be that dependent and expect other people to deal with it all day every day. I understand its easy to do and its a slippery slope but a child has to be able to adapt. If they are not adapting its because the parents aren't allowing them to achieve that important milestone. If you are going to make a child that dependent that they cant get through 5 minutes without being joined to your hip, then you should stay home with them yourself or be willing to pay dearly for 1:1 individual care for each child you have. I don't think its necessary the 1 on 1 care they need, its that they want to be carried all day long and don't know what to do.
To expect someone caring for multiple kids to give your child undivided attention or listen to them scream because they got the message that is what life should be is just not reasonable or fair. That is just my opinion. Stay home with your children if you want them that dependent on ***you***.
MarinaVanessa 07:39 AM 11-15-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I think you can't train a child to be that dependent and expect other people to deal with it all day every day.
I agree. My 3mo son is hugely dependent but that's because I TAKE CARE OF HIM. I don't go anywhere without him and I don't leave him with anyone other than my mother (who also holds him constantly, we're two peas in a pod I think you can't train a child to be that dependent and expect other people to deal with it all day every day.
) and my DH. I ONLY do this because I know that I'm his caregiver and wouldn't dream of leaving him with someone else to deal with it. That's horrible, and I mean for the person that would have to care for him!
sally 08:03 AM 11-15-2013
I had an 18 month old crier who would only stop when held. Since that was not possible I termed them. I later found out that Mom who was home with him for the first 17 months held him constantly, all day long. He expected to be held and wouldn't get used to not being held.
countrymom 09:42 AM 11-15-2013
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
I agree. My 3mo son is hugely dependent but that's because I TAKE CARE OF HIM. I don't go anywhere without him and I don't leave him with anyone other than my mother (who also holds him constantly, we're two peas in a pod) and my DH. I ONLY do this because I know that I'm his caregiver and wouldn't dream of leaving him with someone else to deal with it. That's horrible, and I mean for the person that would have to care for him!
out all my 4 kids, my ydd was the worst. We also didn't have anyone care form my kids, they went every where with me (thank goodness they are old enough now to stay home by themselves) but at one point not only was I nursing dd (till she was 3 yrs old) but she wouldn't leave my side at all.I agree. My 3mo son is hugely dependent but that's because I TAKE CARE OF HIM. I don't go anywhere without him and I don't leave him with anyone other than my mother (who also holds him constantly, we're two peas in a pod
) and my DH. I ONLY do this because I know that I'm his caregiver and wouldn't dream of leaving him with someone else to deal with it. That's horrible, and I mean for the person that would have to care for him!so I started going to the gym. I started off slow, like 15 min. at a time, and then the following week for a half hour and then a hour. It took 3 months going 3 times of week but she finally let go of me. I started of slow, I didn't want anyone to listen to her more than 15 min at a time.
but thats why I'm home I can take care of the, but she was such a clingy cling on!!
Unregistered 05:38 AM 11-18-2013
Well interesting turn of events. They decided to ensue a hailstorm of drama about the whole situation.
Despite me giving them my 2 week notice they elected to not bring them back at all. They paid me last Monday two weeks ahead so dispite the fact that have a two week notice period and I offered to watch them for the two weeks... due to the circumstances and wanting to end this on a positive note I *offered* to give them back only this week if they elected not to come this week but did not offer to reimburse for Friday since its pay for the week regardless of Attendence and they still had the option to come.
Dad called yesterday saying he was going to stop by and pick up the check and their other things. i told him due to tornado warnings we would be down in the basement. he asked me onput it all on my porch then (????????) apparently this was worth risking his life over.
Then he said he wanted to make sure how muh i was reimbursing them and wanted to make sure it was for last friday and this week I explained I had only *offered* to reimburse for this week and he threw a complete hissy fit saying that the services were not rendered and as a parent if someone tells you that your children are overwhelming you... You obviously would not want your child to continue going there. (By the way this argument he ensued upon me was over $20.00)
I finally gave up and told him I was putting his crap with the check in my porch and he had an hour to pick it up and get off my property.
I am so pissed off! Seriously WHAT MORE do I have to do to do the right thing here?!? I went over and beyond what i had to do and they had to keep digging for more and be greedy jerks about it all and twist it into something negative. I'm so sick of people making a dramatic display when you are trying to handle things as nicely nin dramatic and professional way. They got to get some kicks int there to make t all even.
How about grow up and realize I was not the one that created this situation and I did was doing what was best and most responsible for everyone.... I wish I had the ability not to let this stuff eat at me but I am just so ticked off now.
Despite me giving them my 2 week notice they elected to not bring them back at all. They paid me last Monday two weeks ahead so dispite the fact that have a two week notice period and I offered to watch them for the two weeks... due to the circumstances and wanting to end this on a positive note I *offered* to give them back only this week if they elected not to come this week but did not offer to reimburse for Friday since its pay for the week regardless of Attendence and they still had the option to come.
Dad called yesterday saying he was going to stop by and pick up the check and their other things. i told him due to tornado warnings we would be down in the basement. he asked me onput it all on my porch then (????????) apparently this was worth risking his life over.
Then he said he wanted to make sure how muh i was reimbursing them and wanted to make sure it was for last friday and this week I explained I had only *offered* to reimburse for this week and he threw a complete hissy fit saying that the services were not rendered and as a parent if someone tells you that your children are overwhelming you... You obviously would not want your child to continue going there. (By the way this argument he ensued upon me was over $20.00)
I finally gave up and told him I was putting his crap with the check in my porch and he had an hour to pick it up and get off my property.
I am so pissed off! Seriously WHAT MORE do I have to do to do the right thing here?!? I went over and beyond what i had to do and they had to keep digging for more and be greedy jerks about it all and twist it into something negative. I'm so sick of people making a dramatic display when you are trying to handle things as nicely nin dramatic and professional way. They got to get some kicks int there to make t all even.
How about grow up and realize I was not the one that created this situation and I did was doing what was best and most responsible for everyone.... I wish I had the ability not to let this stuff eat at me but I am just so ticked off now.
Unregistered 05:41 AM 11-18-2013
I meant I offered to only reimburse home for this week. Not including last Friday. ($20.00)
Just to clear that up. I'm on my cell phone.
Just to clear that up. I'm on my cell phone.
countrymom 05:48 AM 11-18-2013
I don't blame you one bit. don't worry, about it after going from provider to provider they will realize that they are the problem. You try to be nice and it blows up in your face.
Unregistered 05:53 AM 11-18-2013
Then when I gave up.... I told him fine just to get you off the phone I would rewrite the check to include Friday.
He still even continued to run his mouth....I finally just hung up on him. I'll be damned if he didn't drive clear a cross town in the high winds to pick that stuff up though.
Fight tooth and nail not to pay me more than they can get a way with for the last two years constantly trying to negotiate pay for me but I had their daughter for over 6 months and they literally bright her maybe 3 times that entire time wearing clothes I had seen before. I have never seen a child with a wardrobe that large.
He still even continued to run his mouth....I finally just hung up on him. I'll be damned if he didn't drive clear a cross town in the high winds to pick that stuff up though.
Fight tooth and nail not to pay me more than they can get a way with for the last two years constantly trying to negotiate pay for me but I had their daughter for over 6 months and they literally bright her maybe 3 times that entire time wearing clothes I had seen before. I have never seen a child with a wardrobe that large.
Heidi 06:01 AM 11-18-2013
What jerks...
I wouldn't have refunded a penny. You were very nice to do that. They may not know it, but you were very nice to terminate that child. A lot of experienced providers get caught up in the "I should be able to handle this" mindset, and are afraid to terminate. That sometimes leads to bad outcomes. Not suggesting you would do anything, because you were smart enough to know when enough is enough. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!
I wouldn't have refunded a penny. You were very nice to do that. They may not know it, but you were very nice to terminate that child. A lot of experienced providers get caught up in the "I should be able to handle this" mindset, and are afraid to terminate. That sometimes leads to bad outcomes. Not suggesting you would do anything, because you were smart enough to know when enough is enough. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!
laceylmm 06:00 PM 11-18-2013
Omg I could have wrote this exact post. Only mine is four months and I have had her since 6 weeks. The most miserable baby I have ever met. I have four kids and none of them ever behaved this way. If they had I would probably only have one child. Parents claim they don't hold her all day but I KNOW they do. They are the my neighbors. Mom has said since day one she doesn't like babies. She is here 8-4 every day. Dad is usually home by 1pm 'working' aka napping. And doesn't usually get her until the last possible minute. Then they put her to bed at 7 and fight with her all night to sleep so they don't have t deal with her screaming if she is t being held.
Then try to tel me she is good at home...I can hear her screaming!
She only wants to held up or to be propped in a sitting position on their laps.
I so know how you feel/felt! So now to say I'm not wiling to deal with it anymore you hae to anticipate that they will say they don't feel safe leaving her with you.
Then try to tel me she is good at home...I can hear her screaming!
She only wants to held up or to be propped in a sitting position on their laps.
I so know how you feel/felt! So now to say I'm not wiling to deal with it anymore you hae to anticipate that they will say they don't feel safe leaving her with you.
laceylmm 06:03 PM 11-18-2013
Also mine will nap some days decently but even then Im on edge and making everyone try to be quiet so we don't wake her. It's ridiculous.