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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>The Tattle Tail
busymommy0420 12:29 PM 04-10-2013
I have DCG age 4 who is a TATTLE TAIL. She tells me everything everyone is doing wrong. I appreciate it when my back is turned changing a diaper or getting lunch ready but when I am watching the children and someone does something she still tells me. She is an only child at home. She is very well behaved here but OMG does she tell me EVERYTHING!!!! I am not sure if I should discourage it or not? It has helped me here and there when I was cleaning and cooking. Does anyone else have a tattle tail in their group? How do you deal with it?
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ABCDaycareMN 12:36 PM 04-10-2013
My son is. His teacher tells him "worry about (sons name)"

I have adapted that and it's worked out great. I only allow tattles if someone is hurt or hurting someone else.
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spud912 01:33 PM 04-10-2013
Ugh I have one. Only he tells me EVERYTHING that is going on, not only when the others are doing something wrong (and this includes when I am staring at them too ).

Dcb: "Hey, Johnny is reading a book!!!!"
Me: "Yes, I know that dcb, I am watching him do it! Worry about yourself!"

FYI: Nothing works for me. I just know that some days I am more tolerable and ignore it....other days it irks me to no end.
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Bookworm 03:08 PM 04-10-2013
My usual reply is, " Is that your business?" Shuts it down every time. Lately, my oldest DCK has been telling the other kids what to do and how to do it. My response to her is, "Sally, who's the teacher in this room?"
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just_peachy 05:33 AM 04-11-2013
When my older kids do that, I shout in a silly way "SWEEP YOUR OWN PORCH!" It's a good reminder to them, because it makes them stop to think about what I even mean. Every now and then I'll tell them the story about how if we all sweep our own porches, what a nice clean world it'd be, bla bla bla... they get it.

They ARE allowed to tell if damage is being done to someone else or something else.
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Play Care 05:38 AM 04-11-2013
I have TWO tattle tales in my dc.

I've tried everything but lately the only thing that seems to work is saying "thank you" but that's it. I don't act on anything they tell me. I have a "listening ear" that they are supposed to tattle too, but they don't care for it. I've tried the "pay attention to you, I'll pay attention to Susie." But I repeat it all.day.long. "Thank you" acknowledges that I've heard them, but robs them of the satisfaction of getting someone in trouble, which is usually the reason behind the tattle tale. It's the best I can do right now
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canadiancare 05:41 AM 04-11-2013
I call it being the daycare police. I tell them it is their job to worry about themselves and my job to worry about everyone.
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countrymom 05:45 AM 04-11-2013
I have a frog (nows the best time to get it, its plastic and is sensored) and I tell them to go tell the frog. They love the fact that the frog makes noise, but they all talk to the frog. Works great.

yesterday my ydd (she's in grade 3) was telling me about the boy in her class who tattles all the time. She was saying that he tells on people reading, doing their work...its driving her teacher crazy and the students. Theres nothing wrong with him, he just likes to tattle.
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Blackcat31 06:01 AM 04-11-2013
I adopted Nannyde's tattle tale philosophy a long time ago and formed a "Complaint Department".

Any time someone tries to tattle on someone else (outside of the hurt or serious necessary tattle) they are immediately directed to the "Complaint Department."

Our "Complaint Department" is comprised of "J" a 10 month old DCK and "B" a 20 month old DCK.

BOTH "J" and "B" love being talked to and although they don't have the best mediation skills yet, they adore the attention and are fantastic listeners!!
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rmc20021 06:24 AM 04-11-2013
Originally Posted by ABCDaycareMN:
My son is. His teacher tells him "worry about (sons name)"

I have adapted that and it's worked out great. I only allow tattles if someone is hurt or hurting someone else.
Same here...I always tell all my kids who try to tattle to worry about themselves and I will worry about everyone. I also tell them I don't want to hear it unless someone is hurt.

I do still have one 4 yo who seems to call out all the new kids when their parents are here interviewing. He is very good about following rules and expects all the new kids who come to visit to know the rules as well. LOL
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craftymissbeth 03:45 PM 04-11-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I adopted Nannyde's tattle tale philosophy a long time ago and formed a "Complaint Department".

Any time someone tries to tattle on someone else (outside of the hurt or serious necessary tattle) they are immediately directed to the "Complaint Department."

Our "Complaint Department" is comprised of "J" a 10 month old DCK and "B" a 20 month old DCK.

BOTH "J" and "B" love being talked to and although they don't have the best mediation skills yet, they adore the attention and are fantastic listeners!!
I LOVE this!
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MrsSteinel'sHouse 04:59 PM 04-11-2013
I always ask mine are they hurting themself or others... <sigh> no and she walks back to the playroom. She has dramatically reduced the tattling!
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blandino 07:42 PM 04-11-2013
We tell all our tattles to "Fred". I drew Fred on a piece of paper, and he has extra big ears because he loves to listen to our tattles. It works pretty well. Most of the bigger kids, realize how silly it is - and the older ones really think they are telling someone who cares. WIN/WIN

The other day someone posted about having a picture of the POTUS on the wall, and telling the kids to "go tell the President".
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Cradle2crayons 07:59 AM 04-12-2013
I have an almost 4 yr old dcg who started this. I sat down with her and told her that miss Lynn is in charge of watching all the dck however if its something related to safety, then she can come tell me. It worked great and she follows the rules great now after a few reminders
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Cradle2crayons 08:00 AM 04-12-2013
We even did a role playing game about when it was okay... For instance if dck1 hits another child or if the youngest we're to somehow get ahold of an older kids toys etc because she might choke etc.. But if its not related to someone getting hurt, then let it go
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Cradle2crayons 08:10 AM 04-12-2013
I have an almost 4 yr old dcg who started this. I sat down with her and told her that miss Lynn is in charge of watching all the dck however if its something related to safety, then she can come tell me. It worked great and she follows the rules great now after a few reminders
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solarismoon 08:14 AM 04-12-2013
If someone is hurting, in danger of hurting, or threatening to hurt others, themselves or property, TELL.

Otherwise, try to work it out with them and ask for help if you've tried to resolve the conflict and need assistance or a mediator. Not to be confused with asking for someone to solve your conflict for you before you have tried.

We define tattling as telling on someone for the purpose of getting them in trouble, or for the purpose of making yourself look good, seeking attention or praise.

Toddlers and younger we just redirect. They can't be expected to resolve conflicts yet on their own or differentiate between tattling and safety issues.

Role playing is always helpful. We act out scenarios that are common so children can practice these skills safely.
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