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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Terminating My Screamer?
AuntTami 11:44 AM 05-07-2015
Looking for suggestions on what to say in my termination letter for my screamer? He's almost 2, has been here since December and every day with him makes me hate my job. I'm done. I can't do it anymore.
He's so crabby in the morning because he's tired, then he screams himself to sleep and wakes up 45-90 minutes later screaming and is crabby/whiny/cries for the rest of the day.
He just woke up after 45 minutes and is screaming his bloody head off. I'm done.
Mom has been great with payment but she holds him and snuggles him to sleep and when he wakes up in the night, she brings him to bed with her. She's holding on to him being a baby even though he's almost 2. I can't get her on board, I've tried everything I can think of, but I'm done.
What to say without saying "I hate your kid"?
He's so crabby in the morning because he's tired, then he screams himself to sleep and wakes up 45-90 minutes later screaming and is crabby/whiny/cries for the rest of the day.
He just woke up after 45 minutes and is screaming his bloody head off. I'm done.
Mom has been great with payment but she holds him and snuggles him to sleep and when he wakes up in the night, she brings him to bed with her. She's holding on to him being a baby even though he's almost 2. I can't get her on board, I've tried everything I can think of, but I'm done.
What to say without saying "I hate your kid"?
hope 11:58 AM 05-07-2015
Dcm, I am unable to meet dcb's needs. I believe he would be better suited in an environment that better matches your parenting style.
Controlled Chaos 12:03 PM 05-07-2015
Originally Posted by hope:
Dcm, I am unable to meet dcb's needs. I believe he would be better suited in an environment that better matches your parenting style.
Dcm, I am unable to meet dcb's needs. I believe he would be better suited in an environment that better matches your parenting style.
spinnymarie 12:10 PM 05-07-2015
Originally Posted by hope:
Dcm, I am unable to meet dcb's needs. I believe he would be better suited in an environment that better matches your parenting style.
Very well said. I would add: Your last day of care will be XX/2015. Dcm, I am unable to meet dcb's needs. I believe he would be better suited in an environment that better matches your parenting style.
Unregistered 12:11 PM 05-07-2015
This was my exact situation with a 2yo dcb from last July-October. I tried everything, but it was just miserable for me and the other children. Finally, I had to give them notice...basically just saying I thought he would do better with a smaller ratio provider to tend to his needs and her parenting style. Included the number to child care resource and referral and the last date I would be able to provide care. I wish I would have ripped that bandaid off sooner. I was so relieved once I handed her that letter!
Blackcat31 12:36 PM 05-07-2015
Originally Posted by AuntTami:
Looking for suggestions on what to say in my termination letter for my screamer? He's almost 2, has been here since December and every day with him makes me hate my job. I'm done. I can't do it anymore.
He's so crabby in the morning because he's tired, then he screams himself to sleep and wakes up 45-90 minutes later screaming and is crabby/whiny/cries for the rest of the day.
He just woke up after 45 minutes and is screaming his bloody head off. I'm done.
Mom has been great with payment but she holds him and snuggles him to sleep and when he wakes up in the night, she brings him to bed with her. She's holding on to him being a baby even though he's almost 2. I can't get her on board, I've tried everything I can think of, but I'm done.
What to say without saying "I hate your kid"?
First....((((HUGS)))) its okay. Looking for suggestions on what to say in my termination letter for my screamer? He's almost 2, has been here since December and every day with him makes me hate my job. I'm done. I can't do it anymore.
He's so crabby in the morning because he's tired, then he screams himself to sleep and wakes up 45-90 minutes later screaming and is crabby/whiny/cries for the rest of the day.
He just woke up after 45 minutes and is screaming his bloody head off. I'm done.
Mom has been great with payment but she holds him and snuggles him to sleep and when he wakes up in the night, she brings him to bed with her. She's holding on to him being a baby even though he's almost 2. I can't get her on board, I've tried everything I can think of, but I'm done.
What to say without saying "I hate your kid"?
Second, no you definitely cant say you hate her kid...LOL! I would probably say I hate his behaviors but that's me and my lack of tact sometimes.....
however, if I were in your shoes (and I have been before...live and learn 
) I would just explain to her that while you would love nothing more than to replicate the care and attention he is receiving at home, you simply can't. You are a GROUP care provider and she is setting her child up to require a lot of one on one that you are not able to give him and as long as he is part of a group of kids being cared for by one provider, her methods are making YOUR job harder so instead of continuing to try and get her on board, you are going to do what's best for the child and term him so she can find a nanny to provide the SOLO care and attention he is used to getting.
A lot of parents don't understand and there are many of those same parents that get it when we explain it but there is always going to be those that just do what they do and don't really ever get it or even care if you struggle...as long as it's not them....kwim?
I would just be honest with mom and tell her he requires too much of your time that it's not fair to the other kids and it's also not fair for the child himself, the other kids or you to have to listen to the crying all day.
AuntTami 03:20 PM 05-07-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
First....((((HUGS)))) its okay.
Second, no you definitely cant say you hate her kid...LOL! I would probably say I hate his behaviors but that's me and my lack of tact sometimes..... however, if I were in your shoes (and I have been before...live and learn ) I would just explain to her that while you would love nothing more than to replicate the care and attention he is receiving at home, you simply can't.
You are a GROUP care provider and she is setting her child up to require a lot of one on one that you are not able to give him and as long as he is part of a group of kids being cared for by one provider, her methods are making YOUR job harder so instead of continuing to try and get her on board, you are going to do what's best for the child and term him so she can find a nanny to provide the SOLO care and attention he is used to getting.
A lot of parents don't understand and there are many of those same parents that get it when we explain it but there is always going to be those that just do what they do and don't really ever get it or even care if you struggle...as long as it's not them....kwim?
I would just be honest with mom and tell her he requires too much of your time that it's not fair to the other kids and it's also not fair for the child himself, the other kids or you to have to listen to the crying all day.
Lol sorry! I was in mid-provider melt down when I wrote this. I know I can't tell her I hate him, and I don't total hate him, just at nap time and when he doesn't sleep enough. When he's well rested and refreshed, he's an awesome kid. But those days are few and far between and I can't take it any more. First....((((HUGS)))) its okay.
Second, no you definitely cant say you hate her kid...LOL! I would probably say I hate his behaviors but that's me and my lack of tact sometimes.....
however, if I were in your shoes (and I have been before...live and learn ) I would just explain to her that while you would love nothing more than to replicate the care and attention he is receiving at home, you simply can't. You are a GROUP care provider and she is setting her child up to require a lot of one on one that you are not able to give him and as long as he is part of a group of kids being cared for by one provider, her methods are making YOUR job harder so instead of continuing to try and get her on board, you are going to do what's best for the child and term him so she can find a nanny to provide the SOLO care and attention he is used to getting.
A lot of parents don't understand and there are many of those same parents that get it when we explain it but there is always going to be those that just do what they do and don't really ever get it or even care if you struggle...as long as it's not them....kwim?
I would just be honest with mom and tell her he requires too much of your time that it's not fair to the other kids and it's also not fair for the child himself, the other kids or you to have to listen to the crying all day.
What do I tell her if she asks why? Just tell her that this is group care and I can't meet his needs?
Blackcat31 04:23 PM 05-07-2015
Originally Posted by AuntTami:
Lol sorry! I was in mid-provider melt down when I wrote this. I know I can't tell her I hate him, and I don't total hate him, just at nap time and when he doesn't sleep enough. When he's well rested and refreshed, he's an awesome kid. But those days are few and far between and I can't take it any more.
What do I tell her if she asks why? Just tell her that this is group care and I can't meet his needs?
I knew you weren't serious... Lol sorry! I was in mid-provider melt down when I wrote this. I know I can't tell her I hate him, and I don't total hate him, just at nap time and when he doesn't sleep enough. When he's well rested and refreshed, he's an awesome kid. But those days are few and far between and I can't take it any more.
What do I tell her if she asks why? Just tell her that this is group care and I can't meet his needs?
but I know how hard that really is for a provider to deal with. 
Yes, tell her exactly that. You cant meet his needs and you have to consider whats best for him WHILE you consider whats best for everyone else too.
You can't meet his needs.....not the ones she has created.
It's not fair of her to expect you to.
