How To Handle A Long-Term Commitment

[Square one]

Hello Everyone!
I have to say how happy I was to find this site! It seems like a wealth of information and a great support system. I'm looking forward to hearing your feedback & offering mine
Now for my dilemma...

I have been providing care for a 4 year old child for the past 2+ years on a full-time basis. The parents are wonderfully sweet people who are thoughtful & quick to accept suggestions. Basically, they are a pleasure to work with. The mother approached me about a year ago to ask what I would charge for a sibling. I quoted her a price that she was happy with, after asking if I would be willing to hold a spot for her not-yet-conceived baby she got pregnant.

Believe me, I have been kicking myself ever since! That is a long time to hold a spot. It equates to over a $7000 loss in wages this past year as I didn't feel comfortable taking in a new child for such a short-term commitment.

So this past weekend I went to hospital with arm numbness that radiated down to my hands. I was admitted because the docs thought I had suffered a heart attack. Turns out it is degenerative spinal stenosis of C5 & C6. I am taking an anti-inflammatory to relieve the nerve compression. I see my family doc next week to discuss a treatment plan.

I am concerned about lifting & carrying a newborn. Lifting weight causes the burning and numbness to come right back. How can I best approach the parents with my concerns? In my experience, things are great until they're not. I can imagine & understand that they will feel angry, let-down, & disappointed, how do I break the news to them? They have said repeatedly that they only got pregnant because they knew they could count on me.

Just to be clear, I am not tendering my resignation. I just want them to be aware that I can no longer make a long-term commitment. I may be fine with the baby for 6 months or so, there is no way to know now. She is due around Christmas, I feel like expressing my concern now allows her ample time to decide what is best for her family & proceed.

Thanks so much for reading this through & for your honest feedback!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I would discuss it with them and word it as an unforeseeable event that causes you a great deal of pain. You can let them know that you'll keep them updated as the months continue to go by, but you can't fully commit to taking the baby on at this point in time due to the amount of pain (burning/numbness) you are in.

I'm sorry that you feel so conflicted about this and as though it may not turn out well. I hope they are understanding.

[Square one]

Thank you so much for your reply! That said everything my upset mind couldn't put together. I say yes much better than no, something I am working on to be successful in life. I also know that I made a mistake in making such a long term commitment. You never know what is right around the corner.
Thanks so much for taking the time to help me out Crossing my fingers that it will out turn out for the best.

[cheerfuldom]

you did nothing wrong here. it doesnt matter if the parents get upset, you did nothing wrong! they never should have brought a child into this world based solely on you supporting them as the daycare provider. I hope that they are not serious in the statement they told you....either way, there is nothing to be done now but be upfront about what you can and cannot do. if you feel that you are willing to take the infant on a trial basis, just be clear about what you will and will not do. I personally would wait till your doctors appointment and discuss it with your doctor first. If you are not sure what to decide, you best err on the side of caution and just straight out change your program to kids that are walking age and up. you could always change diapers on the floor and other accommodations for your medical condition but if you are unsure if you can handle a baby and you can keep your spots filled with older kids, i would just go with older kids, case close. they can start looking now for their infant. they may pull the sibling but even if they do that, you can get some new kids started asap and get back some of that lost income because you wont be holding the baby spot till after christmas like before.

[Laurel]

Originally Posted by cheerfuldom

you did nothing wrong here. it doesnt matter if the parents get upset, you did nothing wrong! they never should have brought a child into this world based solely on you supporting them as the daycare provider. I hope that they are not serious in the statement they told you....either way, there is nothing to be done now but be upfront about what you can and cannot do. if you feel that you are willing to take the infant on a trial basis, just be clear about what you will and will not do. I personally would wait till your doctors appointment and discuss it with your doctor first. If you are not sure what to decide, you best err on the side of caution and just straight out change your program to kids that are walking age and up. you could always change diapers on the floor and other accommodations for your medical condition but if you are unsure if you can handle a baby and you can keep your spots filled with older kids, i would just go with older kids, case close. they can start looking now for their infant. they may pull the sibling but even if they do that, you can get some new kids started asap and get back some of that lost income because you wont be holding the baby spot till after christmas like before.

Plus if she does get upset (which she has no right to do since you can't help what happened), you can remind her of the amount of money you lost by just holding the spot for as long as you have.

Laurel