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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Would A Male Director Keep You Away?
Unregistered 11:33 PM 09-26-2016
My mom owns a small daycare with about 30 kids and she recently asked me to get licensed to become the director, I'm all for it but I'm worried about the parents response to a male director.

Are men in daycares common? Would you as a parent be put off if there were a male director? Does it change things if you knew I was only a director and not a teacher?

Also, I don't mean to sound sexist, I just think that men in daycares probably aren't that common.
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Unregistered 03:22 AM 09-27-2016
I will be honest. I would not want my child to have a male teacher. I would be ok with a male director since they are not really in the trenches so to speak being hands on for the most part.
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Pestle 04:45 AM 09-27-2016
The sexism cuts both ways--people of both genders assume that men are better at being in charge.
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Play Care 06:10 AM 09-27-2016
I'd have no issue with that.
The day camp I send my own kids to in the summer has a male director. We really like him.
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DaveA 06:22 AM 09-27-2016
"One off" positions (director/ admin, cook, transport, etc.) doesn't seem to face the same scrutiny as teaching/ direct care positions do. Especially being your family business I don't think it will cause much of an issue. Do you work there now? In what capacity? Honesty if you're coming in new with no experience that would cause more headaches than being male.


I started in my Mom's center also and never had a problem while I was there. When I went to other centers........well that's a different story.
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Blackcat31 06:22 AM 09-27-2016
What's the difference?

I've seen passive-aggressive women who have trouble managing both groups of children and groups of other adults and have issues running a business.

I've seen men behave the same way.

I've seen women that rock at this.
I've seen men do the same.

I don't think either sex/gender is "ideal"

What IS ideal is a good mixture of exposure to every type of positive experience a teacher and/or caregiver can offer.

Every caregiver/teacher that comes into a child's life has something positive and unique to offer that child and to think one can do a better or does a worse job than the other because of gender is sad and disheartening.
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DaveA 07:03 AM 09-27-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
What's the difference?
There isn't one, but I'll be the cynic. This is a "safe" bias. If the question subbed a race/ orientation/ religion for "male' or if it was a woman in a "man's job", the condemnation would be swift and pretty much universal. But this one isn't perceived like those. Continuing to be cynical- I don't think it will change on large scale anytime soon. Directors who won't hire men won't land themselves in hot water with EEOC, parents who won't use a male provider won't be told they're discriminating against men, and providers who won't let husbands in "their" daycare won't be told they're belittling or diminishing their husbands instead of "protecting" them.

Sorry if that sounds harsh. Guess I woke up on the "Grouchy SOB" side of the bed this morning. In OP's case I don't think it will be a issue because of it being a family business and making the assumption he is already known there.
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Blackcat31 07:30 AM 09-27-2016
Originally Posted by DaveA:
There isn't one, but I'll be the cynic. This is a "safe" bias. If the question subbed a race/ orientation/ religion for "male' or if it was a woman in a "man's job", the condemnation would be swift and pretty much universal. But this one isn't perceived like those. Continuing to be cynical- I don't think it will change on large scale anytime soon. Directors who won't hire men won't land themselves in hot water with EEOC, parents who won't use a male provider won't be told they're discriminating against men, and providers who won't let husbands in "their" daycare won't be told they're belittling or diminishing their husbands instead of "protecting" them.

Sorry if that sounds harsh. Guess I woke up on the "Grouchy SOB" side of the bed this morning. In OP's case I don't think it will be a issue because of it being a family business and making the assumption he is already known there.
Hey, no back lash from me.... I agree that that is the way it is, but for lack of better words that really pisses me off!

For all the reasons/examples you gave...

It's ridiculous and silly.

It's even more shameful and horrifying that early childhood educators, providers and caregivers that consider themselves professional, educated and non-biased or those that feel they "belong" in this field actually have the audacity to say they too share in the bias.

That infuriates me.

Cynical?? That's perfectly acceptable consider this is more than likely something you deal with on different levels every day but like I said, it's an shame and an embarrassment to this entire profession that we can have the issues we are currently facing in the world (race/religion/education etc) and yet still feel that somehow we are "protecting" our children by limiting their contact with males in their early years.


...okay, I gotta leave this topic...I can feel my blood pressure rising
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CheekyChick 07:51 AM 09-27-2016
There is a fabulous male Director in my city and I have heard only amazing and positive things about him.
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CalCare 09:59 AM 09-27-2016
I only care about education and experience and, obviously, that teachers and directors are background checked. So, no, male or female doesn't bother me. But, I have worked with some great male teachers. Maybe many parents wouldn't have had that chance beforhand and would worry? Sexist , but could be.
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daycare 10:28 AM 09-27-2016
I think it is so sad that we even have to ask this question. It should not matter what your gender is. All that should matter is that you are a good person who can do a good job in a positive and encouraging way.

I have a male employee who is also gay, he is hands down my best employee and the most loved by the children. We have now been together for 4.5 years

I have had a few parents question it and I just tell them, if you are not comfortable, we would not be a good fit for your family. But then I have had them question my husbands tattoos too. REALLY PEOPLE what does that have to do with how you love someone or care for someone.

I say go for it if you think you would excel at it.
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Cat Herder 11:30 AM 09-27-2016
Originally Posted by DaveA:
If the question was a woman in a "man's job", the condemnation would be swift and pretty much universal.
As a woman who faced extreme physical hazing, glass ceilings, less pay and non-stop sexual harassment for many years in "a mans job", I could not disagree more.

Unjustified discrimination sucks in ANY direction.

Each generation has to throw down their gravel.... It is just your turn. Keep proving them wrong.
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Controlled Chaos 01:38 PM 09-27-2016
As long as he isn't polish.

<Sarcasm>

Insert any gender, race, ethnicity, religion etc into the conversation and its straight discrimination. So the OP's question is basically "Would you discriminate?" Our answers may reveal something about who we are as people, but it doesn't answer whether you should take the job. Maybe this is an enlightened community of people who would never discriminate and check their privilege when applicable. Maybe we are a group of sexist and racist jerks. Either way, I don't think we are going to be an accurate sample of people that are comparable to the community you live in.

If you want the job, you should do it. The more people that do the jobs they want, rather than worry about other people's perceptions about what the right person for the job looks, like the better. That's how stereotypes get dismantled.
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galaxy 02:03 PM 09-27-2016
Nope, would not bother me. Do you qualify? Did you pass a background check? Do you have the right temperament to deal with children if the situation arises? If yes to all those then I don't see a problem. I think it is ridiculous that people now a days still have a problem with men doing what is considered stereotypical "woman's work".
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DaveA 02:25 PM 09-27-2016
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
As a woman who faced extreme physical hazing, glass ceilings, less pay and non-stop sexual harassment for many years in "a mans job", I could not disagree more.

Unjustified discrimination sucks in ANY direction.

Each generation has to throw down their gravel.... It is just your turn. Keep proving them wrong.
Oh don't get me wrong- I'm not saying it doesn't happen waytoo often or trying to justify it when it does. Like you said- sucks in any direction.

What I was trying to say was some of the same people who would break out the bullhorn, torches, and pitchforks in your case would either shrug off, rationalize, or dismiss as "not their fight" my situation. Of course I would be expected to support "their side". I don't know if I've used this example or not, but years ago I had a rather heated discussion at a conference with an ECE professor. She flat out said they should discourage men from getting into childcare. Her reason: Making it more diverse would weaken women's power in one of the few industries they truly "rule the roost" in. A fascinating fatally flawed argument.

Like I said- a bit of a grouch this morning and wasn't in the mood for tact or subtlety.
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Mike 04:58 PM 09-27-2016
Men in daycare isn't very common, but it is slowly being accepted.

If the families already know you, I doubt there will be any issues. If they don't know you, some may worry, but most won't. If you want to do it, go for it. It never hurts to add more of us to the business.
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Stepping 06:53 AM 09-28-2016
It wouldn't keep me away as I've worked with some excellent early childhood educators who are male. I also think it's important for children to see men in caring professions.
However, I have seen discrimination from parents. I once hired a male substitute teacher (he was the friend of an existing teacher at the daycare). He was excellent and a great gift to our daycare that day. Unfortunately, one family immediately pulled their child from care for the day and another family enquired out of 'concern' whether he would be coming back again.

I'm currently hiring and have a male teacher on my shortlist. I fully expect to lose at least two families if he is the final choice.
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Ariana 11:40 AM 09-28-2016
Would not bother me as a parent. I would be THRILLED to see a male in some capacity caring for kids! Kids need it desperately. Men are different caregivers and that is what makes them awesome and NEEDED in care positions.

Unfortunately as a director you won't be much of a carer but you might be good at sidestepping the drama as most men are so that will be good! Go for it! Don't think twice about other peoples opinions.
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Mom2Two 10:57 AM 09-29-2016
I would just say make the decision based on if it's something you really want to do. If you love the work, you'll be good at it. But I wouldn't do it for other reasons. People tend to not be that great at things they don't really want to be doing.

If you are a good fit for the job, and your mom wants this, then clients will just make their own decisions, as is their right.
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Mariahsaint 11:18 AM 09-29-2016
That wouldn't impact my decision in any shape or form.

I judge by many things, but gender is not one of them.
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daycarediva 11:57 AM 09-29-2016
Originally Posted by DaveA:
There isn't one, but I'll be the cynic. This is a "safe" bias. If the question subbed a race/ orientation/ religion for "male' or if it was a woman in a "man's job", the condemnation would be swift and pretty much universal. But this one isn't perceived like those. Continuing to be cynical- I don't think it will change on large scale anytime soon. Directors who won't hire men won't land themselves in hot water with EEOC, parents who won't use a male provider won't be told they're discriminating against men, and providers who won't let husbands in "their" daycare won't be told they're belittling or diminishing their husbands instead of "protecting" them.

Sorry if that sounds harsh. Guess I woke up on the "Grouchy SOB" side of the bed this morning. In OP's case I don't think it will be a issue because of it being a family business and making the assumption he is already known there.
I agree there is huge discrimination and bias against men in ECE (and education in general)

Dh works in the trades and knows a few women in the field- he sees the discrimination first hand. The way the men talk about the female electrician and GC. It is not at all welcome.
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CityGarden 01:54 PM 09-29-2016
I like men in the daycare center setting and school setting and I feel they add great value. I would however be less likely to enroll my daughter in a home setting with a male. I am not sure what it is abut the home setting that makes me more reluctant..... please don't bash me for being honest.

(That said I never put my child in a home setting and although they appeal to me for the cozy factor I am happy I was able to stay home with my dd.)
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Mike 04:02 PM 09-29-2016
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
I agree there is huge discrimination and bias against men in ECE (and education in general)

Dh works in the trades and knows a few women in the field- he sees the discrimination first hand. The way the men talk about the female electrician and GC. It is not at all welcome.
In my home renovations years, I've met several professional women, and have hired a couple. I treat them as professionals, but I've seen others be very immature.

Originally Posted by CityGarden:
I like men in the daycare center setting and school setting and I feel they add great value. I would however be less likely to enroll my daughter in a home setting with a male. I am not sure what it is abut the home setting that makes me more reluctant..... please don't bash me for being honest.

(That said I never put my child in a home setting and although they appeal to me for the cozy factor I am happy I was able to stay home with my dd.)
It's a fact that a man running a home daycare will be frowned upon by many. Doesn't bother me at all. I fully understand why some don't believe in it. I'm sure that when I start, I will get some bashing and maybe even more, but the parents who do use my services will be very happy, and once I get going for a while, it won't be hard to find more clients if needed.
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CityGarden 01:30 AM 09-30-2016
Originally Posted by Mike:
Men in daycare isn't very common, but it is slowly being accepted.

If the families already know you, I doubt there will be any issues. If they don't know you, some may worry, but most won't. If you want to do it, go for it. It never hurts to add more of us to the business.
Originally Posted by Mike:
It's a fact that a man running a home daycare will be frowned upon by many. Doesn't bother me at all. I fully understand why some don't believe in it. I'm sure that when I start, I will get some bashing and maybe even more, but the parents who do use my services will be very happy, and once I get going for a while, it won't be hard to find more clients if needed.
Both of these ring true for me. Yes if I knew the person (man or woman) I as a parent would feel more comfortable.
I wanted to add that I personally like having a 2nd teacher in the room most home providers in my local area are one woman shows or have "fill in" type helpers. As a teacher with all the accusations and liability teachers face now, I appreciate the 2nd set of eyes and that was something I knew I wanted when placing my daughter..... so for me it is more complex than just gender alone.

Also have you googled Teacher Tom? I love him and his energy AMAZING!
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DaveA 06:59 AM 09-30-2016
Originally Posted by CityGarden:
I like men in the daycare center setting and school setting and I feel they add great value. I would however be less likely to enroll my daughter in a home setting with a male. I am not sure what it is abut the home setting that makes me more reluctant..... please don't bash me for being honest.

(That said I never put my child in a home setting and although they appeal to me for the cozy factor I am happy I was able to stay home with my dd.)
No bashing-To me there's a distinction between a parent making a decision based on comfort/ what they want and dealing with other ECE professionals and the industry. Do I agree with you or like it? No but it is what it is. Is it splitting the baby a bit? Yes but it's the difference between and .

When dealing with the industry it frustrates me because it really doesn't matter to me anymore. If someone waves a wand and says "No more men in childcare" I have other opportunities that I will enjoy doing full time. It isn't about me or even guys like Mike who've been around the block a few times and can deal with the idiots. What sends me into low earth orbit is the people wanting to get into this business. I had a decade of experience when I went back into childcare. I knew the industry and was good at it. And I had resumes thrown in the trash in front of me, told don't bother applying/ get out of the building, told I couldn't work with the ages I had the most experience with due to "risk", and had an Assistant Director tell my coworkers the Director "stuck" them with me till "she could do something about it". A couple of those experiences or classes with someone like that the professor I mentioned above and a lot of potentially really good teachers or providers are probably going to say F this and do something else. As much as I want to be optimistic, this is an area I'm very cynical about. And I will readily admit if I'm not in a good mood I can be a real SOB about my cynicism.

We're kind of hijacking OP's post. In his case I don't see it being a major issue. He might have the odd parent here or there, but as an administrator he won't have much blowback. I started in my mom's center. The only time I had issue was when she retired/ sold the center and I didn't take over. It closed a couple years later. I still have a former coworker that gives me grief over it.
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Mike 07:22 PM 10-01-2016
Originally Posted by CityGarden:
Also have you googled Teacher Tom? I love him and his energy AMAZING!
Just did some reading from his blog. Very interesting. I like his way of thinking.
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CityGarden 12:36 PM 10-03-2016
Originally Posted by Mike:
Just did some reading from his blog. Very interesting. I like his way of thinking.
I his approach.
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renodeb 03:55 PM 10-11-2016
Interesting question,
are you already known at the center? I dont see it as an issue esp. being a family business. I would love to hear an update as time goes by.
Deb
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