Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>DCB Came In Underwear, And Other DCB Called Me Momma Today In Front Of His Mom
SunshineMama 05:02 AM 04-12-2012
DCM just brought dcb4 in underwear. He has been using diapers this whole time and has never once asked to use the potty. He doesnt even want to go to the potty when I take all the kids.

I started giving them M&M's 2 days ago for using the potty, and he went. His mom told me last night he took himself potty, went and told her he just went potty, and that he decided he wanted to wear underwear from now on.

She said she undertands if I have to put a diaper on him. My policy is that they have to tell me for 2 weeks before wearing underwear.

What would you do? He is 4, so IMHO potty is a choice. I feel like giving him a chance and seeing if he can ask and use the potty. This could prove a big mistake or be really great- I dont want to shatter his newfound confidence, but I dont want pee in my house either.

Other dcm dropped off today and her 1 year old reached out for me, smiled, and called me Mama (right after she told me he was being grouchy this morning). Her face dropped. I felt really bad for her--- until I told DH about it and he reminded me that they went on Vacation 2 weeks ago in Vegas and left him here. He said, "I dont feel bad for her. They left him for a week, and leave him 10 hours a day. ou dont ever get any breaks, and when you do the kids are always there." I'm thankful for DH today and that I get to work at home to be with my children.
Reply
EntropyControlSpecialist 05:06 AM 04-12-2012
Do you happen to have any cloth training pants in the house?! They're underwear-like but more absorbent if he does use the restroom in his pants.

It's great that your daycare baby loves you. Much better than having to peel a screaming little off their parent.
Reply
SunshineMama 05:28 AM 04-12-2012
Originally Posted by LCLC:
Do you happen to have any cloth training pants in the house?! They're underwear-like but more absorbent if he does use the restroom in his pants.

It's great that your daycare baby loves you. Much better than having to peel a screaming little off their parent.
I do not have any cloth training pants. He actually just asked me to use the potty for the first time so I am praying that he keeps it up. I dont know if he knows about going #2 on the potty. I need prayer today!
Reply
seebachers 05:39 AM 04-12-2012
I understand your two week rule, but since he is 4 and he has "decided" to do this....this is his chance to shine. I would definitely give it a try. You are correct that it is a choice for him now. Go with the flow (literally LOLOLOL)!
Reply
SilverSabre25 05:39 AM 04-12-2012
What I've always heard about potty training is that you can spend months and thousands of hours trying to potty train a child who isn't ready yet...or you can spend just a couple days potty training a child who *is* ready.

4 is definitely old enough to make the decision to be in undies from now on. I say, go for it! If he has an accident, don't act the slightest bit upset. "Oops! You forgot to listen to your body that time! Let's get you cleaned up. Great, now, can you help me clean up the pee? Here, you can hold the paper towels. Next time, listen to your body and go to the toilet a little sooner. Thank you for helping me!
Reply
SunshineMama 05:45 AM 04-12-2012
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
What I've always heard about potty training is that you can spend months and thousands of hours trying to potty train a child who isn't ready yet...or you can spend just a couple days potty training a child who *is* ready.

4 is definitely old enough to make the decision to be in undies from now on. I say, go for it! If he has an accident, don't act the slightest bit upset. "Oops! You forgot to listen to your body that time! Let's get you cleaned up. Great, now, can you help me clean up the pee? Here, you can hold the paper towels. Next time, listen to your body and go to the toilet a little sooner. Thank you for helping me!
I like the "listen to your body" part, and handing him the paper towels.
Reply
Heidi 06:10 AM 04-12-2012
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
What I've always heard about potty training is that you can spend months and thousands of hours trying to potty train a child who isn't ready yet...or you can spend just a couple days potty training a child who *is* ready.

4 is definitely old enough to make the decision to be in undies from now on. I say, go for it! If he has an accident, don't act the slightest bit upset. "Oops! You forgot to listen to your body that time! Let's get you cleaned up. Great, now, can you help me clean up the pee? Here, you can hold the paper towels. Next time, listen to your body and go to the toilet a little sooner. Thank you for helping me!
YES!

If you have any pullups-you can always put them on OVER the underwear if he has a couple accidents. "just in case" pants...so you aren't cleaning up pee everywhere.

My oldest son was just over 3, and he never had an accident once because HE decided he was ready. He was even dry at night right away!
Reply
SunshineMama 06:23 AM 04-12-2012
Originally Posted by bbo:
YES!

If you have any pullups-you can always put them on OVER the underwear if he has a couple accidents. "just in case" pants...so you aren't cleaning up pee everywhere.

My oldest son was just over 3, and he never had an accident once because HE decided he was ready. He was even dry at night right away!
Very reassuring! Thanks!
Reply
sassysue 06:30 AM 04-12-2012
I will never understand how people can have 4 and 5 year olds in diapers.
In my opinion- unless there is something medically wrong with a child there is no reason a child should be in diapers past three.
I've potty trained well over 100 kids in my time and never have had anyone over 3 not in underwear. It's really not as complicated as people make it out to be. I don't even make a big deal about it.
At 2 and 3 months-2 1/2 I just put them in underwear with plastic pants over them. Take them to the bathroom when we have our breaks and if they have an accident then we just clean it up and move on with their day.
I've never had a child have more than a couple accidents,most none.
With that being said(stepping off my soap box)
If you have pull ups just put them over his underwear.I do this when they first start potty training for long car rides home.
I'm sure he is ready!
Reply
MrsB 06:38 AM 04-12-2012
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
What I've always heard about potty training is that you can spend months and thousands of hours trying to potty train a child who isn't ready yet...or you can spend just a couple days potty training a child who *is* ready.

4 is definitely old enough to make the decision to be in undies from now on. I say, go for it! If he has an accident, don't act the slightest bit upset. "Oops! You forgot to listen to your body that time! Let's get you cleaned up. Great, now, can you help me clean up the pee? Here, you can hold the paper towels. Next time, listen to your body and go to the toilet a little sooner. Thank you for helping me!


In addtion I set the potty timer from the last time he went, and he has to try, if he goes, then we start it at an hour, if he tries but doesnt go, we set it for a half hour.
Reply
lil angels 07:05 AM 04-12-2012
Over half my kids call me mommy. In front of their parents. We spend a lot of time with these kids and they don't know any better.
Reply
countrymom 07:47 AM 04-12-2012
Originally Posted by sassysue:
I will never understand how people can have 4 and 5 year olds in diapers.
In my opinion- unless there is something medically wrong with a child there is no reason a child should be in diapers past three.
I've potty trained well over 100 kids in my time and never have had anyone over 3 not in underwear. It's really not as complicated as people make it out to be. I don't even make a big deal about it.
At 2 and 3 months-2 1/2 I just put them in underwear with plastic pants over them. Take them to the bathroom when we have our breaks and if they have an accident then we just clean it up and move on with their day.
I've never had a child have more than a couple accidents,most none.
With that being said(stepping off my soap box)
If you have pull ups just put them over his underwear.I do this when they first start potty training for long car rides home.
I'm sure he is ready!
well, I'm going to step on the soap box with you. Because I totally agree with you. My neice was 4 and would only poop in a diaper, do you know how gross a 4 yr old poop is to change in a diaper. And I'm also finding that alot of it, is coming down to LAZINESS. Yup, its like parents hope their child wakes up one day and goes potty so they don't have to do the work. How is a child going to learn to go potty when they are not shown what to do.
Reply
MissK 07:53 AM 04-12-2012
Originally Posted by bbo:
YES!

If you have any pullups-you can always put them on OVER the underwear if he has a couple accidents. "just in case" pants...so you aren't cleaning up pee everywhere.

My oldest son was just over 3, and he never had an accident once because HE decided he was ready. He was even dry at night right away!
This was how my daughter was as well. We tried working with her for awhile and she just wasnt ready - one day she decided she wanted to use the potty and that was that. She didn't wear one more diaper or have any accidents after that day - crazy kids

Oh - and if it makes you feel any better I've called a teacher mommy before... (elementary - not college...haha)
Reply
SunshineMama 07:59 AM 04-12-2012
Originally Posted by countrymom:
well, I'm going to step on the soap box with you. Because I totally agree with you. My neice was 4 and would only poop in a diaper, do you know how gross a 4 yr old poop is to change in a diaper. And I'm also finding that alot of it, is coming down to LAZINESS. Yup, its like parents hope their child wakes up one day and goes potty so they don't have to do the work. How is a child going to learn to go potty when they are not shown what to do.
I agree on you about the poop- it's sooooo gross coming out of a diaper on a 4 year old!
Reply
spud912 08:34 AM 04-12-2012
Originally Posted by sassysue:
I will never understand how people can have 4 and 5 year olds in diapers.
In my opinion- unless there is something medically wrong with a child there is no reason a child should be in diapers past three.
I've potty trained well over 100 kids in my time and never have had anyone over 3 not in underwear. It's really not as complicated as people make it out to be. I don't even make a big deal about it.
At 2 and 3 months-2 1/2 I just put them in underwear with plastic pants over them. Take them to the bathroom when we have our breaks and if they have an accident then we just clean it up and move on with their day.
I've never had a child have more than a couple accidents,most none.
With that being said(stepping off my soap box)
If you have pull ups just put them over his underwear.I do this when they first start potty training for long car rides home.
I'm sure he is ready!
I understand what you are saying, but I think there are a few very stubborn children out there (my dd for instance). She just turned 3 and downright refuses to sit on the potty and wear underwear. The only way to get her to do either of these things is physically force her (which I really don't think is the appropriate way to go about potty training). Oh, and bribes don't work with her. The few times I did get her in underwear, she peed in them repeatedly for several days, didn't say anything to me about it, and didn't care. From what everyone has told me, it's that "I" should relax about it and not force her to do any potty training and don't even mention it to her. Supposedly, she will snap out of it and want to go potty on her own one day . I'm just curious to know what you would do in this situation.
Reply
Country Kids 08:54 AM 04-12-2012
This is not meant to scare anyone! I have a friend though that teaches kindergarten and she was telling me she has several which still are in pull-ups and show no desire to potty train. There is no rule that they have to be potty trained to attend school. I think this is totally sad but getting to be the norm.

Its getting to be a totally let the child run the show type world I believe. I think before to long we will see kids coming to school with the pacifiers/bottles/lovies also. I fear that within 20 years the last of the "old school" type parents will be officially gone if not before then.
Reply
sassysue 09:00 AM 04-12-2012
It may have became a power struggle between the two of you and that is one power struggle you will never win
I would just throw out all her diapers and let her know she will be wearing underwear and using the potty from now on. Put them on her in the morning(plastic pants too) We go potty in the morning,before we go outside at 10:00 a.m.,after lunch around noon and again after nap. So basically every 2 hours.I just say it non chalantly-no bribing, no asking.I act like it basically is no big deal,I don't praise or get upset if they do have an accident.
They feel great pride when they get it so it doesn't take long.If you can potty train with a group it works even better(I guess peer pressure does work)
Taking them to pick out their underwear helps a lot too.I guess no one wants to get pee on their new Thomas or Dora underwear I allow pull ups to go over their underwear,at nap time for the first couple of weeks.
I just tell the kids that it's just in case they have an accident but they are still to use the potty,that way they don't think it's permission to just go whenever they have a pull up on over their underwear
Whew!I don't think I've ever typed so much about potty,pee,underwear and pull ups.
Originally Posted by spud912:
I understand what you are saying, but I think there are a few very stubborn children out there (my dd for instance). She just turned 3 and downright refuses to sit on the potty and wear underwear. The only way to get her to do either of these things is physically force her (which I really don't think is the appropriate way to go about potty training). Oh, and bribes don't work with her. The few times I did get her in underwear, she peed in them repeatedly for several days, didn't say anything to me about it, and didn't care. From what everyone has told me, it's that "I" should relax about it and not force her to do any potty training and don't even mention it to her. Supposedly, she will snap out of it and want to go potty on her own one day . I'm just curious to know what you would do in this situation.

Reply
daycare 09:08 AM 04-12-2012
I had a nightmare from you know what when a child came into my daycare in underwear that was not PT. and this child was 5.

So no way in the world would I say ok to letting any child come in undies only if they were not PT.
Reply
MyAngels 09:30 AM 04-12-2012
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
This is not meant to scare anyone! I have a friend though that teaches kindergarten and she was telling me she has several which still are in pull-ups and show no desire to potty train. There is no rule that they have to be potty trained to attend school. I think this is totally sad but getting to be the norm.

Its getting to be a totally let the child run the show type world I believe. I think before to long we will see kids coming to school with the pacifiers/bottles/lovies also. I fear that within 20 years the last of the "old school" type parents will be officially gone if not before then.
Well crud, there goes the standard line I use to all worried-about-potty-training moms - "Don't worry, he/she won't go to school in diapers, we'll get it eventually."

As far as the 4 year old showing up in underwear - I agree with the others, give it a try. I've had two kids in just the last few months do the same thing (just show up one day in undies) and both of them were accident free from the first day.
Reply
SunshineMama 09:46 AM 04-12-2012
Update: So he peed in his underwear

He still wanted to keep it on, bless his heart. He was so proud of his underwear. I told him we will try again tomorrow (and I will ask mom to bring a protective shell to wear over it). I think he was just super excited and in the middle of play. He did have 3 successful trips to the potty earlier.

Unfortunately mom did not bring me any spare underwear or a change of clothes either.
Reply
Sunshine44 11:31 AM 04-12-2012
Glad to hear it is going decent. 3 out of 4 isn't bad, but I uderstand the need for something to catch the pee. Also, someone said Kindy's are in pull ups? Where do you live? Here you have to be potty trained before kindy.
Reply
Country Kids 01:02 PM 04-12-2012
Originally Posted by Sunshine44:
Glad to hear it is going decent. 3 out of 4 isn't bad, but I uderstand the need for something to catch the pee. Also, someone said Kindy's are in pull ups? Where do you live? Here you have to be potty trained before kindy.
The reason they can go in pullup is they can't discriminate a child for not being potty trained. I think if a parent in your area really wanted to push it if their child wasn't they would be able to attend school.
Reply
SilverSabre25 01:50 PM 04-12-2012
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
Unfortunately mom did not bring me any spare underwear or a change of clothes either.
Now *that* is stupid...I can't believe a parent would do that!

3/4 on the first day is really REALLY good!
Reply
daycare 02:00 PM 04-12-2012
do the kids have cubbies at your house? Can you make some so that they have plenty of supplies on hand all of the time..

I require that the parents check their childs cubby boxes every Friday. they must have all of their supplies necessary for the week. On Sunday, I check everyone's box. If someone does not have enough supplies, i will shoot a reminder text home or email. If they come Monday morn and don't have them, they go back home and get them.

No clothes No stay
No diapers NO WAY
Reply
saved4always 08:26 PM 04-12-2012
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
This is not meant to scare anyone! I have a friend though that teaches kindergarten and she was telling me she has several which still are in pull-ups and show no desire to potty train. There is no rule that they have to be potty trained to attend school. I think this is totally sad but getting to be the norm.

Its getting to be a totally let the child run the show type world I believe. I think before to long we will see kids coming to school with the pacifiers/bottles/lovies also. I fear that within 20 years the last of the "old school" type parents will be officially gone if not before then.
Wow...that is really surprising. When my son who is now 17 yo had just turned 3, my daycare told me that I had to get him out of diapers or I would have to keep him home until he was able to be out of diapers because he was too big to be in the older toddler room but needed to be potty trained to go into the 3's room. I took away his pull ups that night, sent him to daycare in underwear and prayed! He only had 1 accident at daycare that first day and never had another again. I guess he was more ready than I had thought. We had been working on it some but we were using pull ups so my son was not very motivated to use the potty. Evil pull ups.

It is unfortunate, but it is sometimes easier for the kids to be in diapers. And, if no one is requiring it, some parents will never potty train, I guess! I just cannot believe they allow diapers in kindy!
Reply
angelicpretty 12:33 PM 04-18-2012
I've been called "Mommy" at work more times than I can count! I just gently correct them but it's kind of sad if you think about it.
Reply
Tags:clothing - issues, parents - don't want kids, unkept
Reply Up