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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Waiting for the Confrontation
Happy Hearts 05:39 PM 06-05-2013
I didn`t want to hijack the Illegal Daycare thread so I thought I`d start this one. A lady in town was running an illegal daycare. She got caught and the authorities went to her house. We are acquaintances and friendly.... at least we were until I noticed that she must have blocked me from Facebook.
I was wondering if she went away or something since I haven`t seen any comments from her or had her `like`any of my stuff lately. But, now I realize she blocked me. I think she thinks that I reported her. She knows that I overheard her talking about watching 4 kids one day. She doesn`t make any secret about it and walks around town with kids in tow. She advertises on public forums. She was bound to get caught.
Anyways, now I'm dreading seeing her when I'm out and about in town. She's so scary..... she's a loudmouth, no-nonsense, aggressive woman. I know she will confront me and yell at me. I don't want to stand there like a stammering fool, what do I say?
I was wondering if she went away or something since I haven`t seen any comments from her or had her `like`any of my stuff lately. But, now I realize she blocked me. I think she thinks that I reported her. She knows that I overheard her talking about watching 4 kids one day. She doesn`t make any secret about it and walks around town with kids in tow. She advertises on public forums. She was bound to get caught.
Anyways, now I'm dreading seeing her when I'm out and about in town. She's so scary..... she's a loudmouth, no-nonsense, aggressive woman. I know she will confront me and yell at me. I don't want to stand there like a stammering fool, what do I say?
MissSarah 06:43 PM 06-05-2013
That's a tough one! I don't know what I would say in a situation like that. 
Maybe you'll luck out and she won't say anything if she sees you and will just ignore you.
Maybe you'll luck out and she won't say anything if she sees you and will just ignore you.
Childminder 06:51 PM 06-05-2013
Confront her first. Call her up, say that you heard that she was shut down and ask her if she has any clue as to who would have done such a thing.
AmyKidsCo 07:28 PM 06-05-2013
I couldn't confront someone first - I'm too chicken. 
But if she says something to you, just look her in the eye and tell her that you weren't the one to report her.
But if she says something to you, just look her in the eye and tell her that you weren't the one to report her.
MyAngels 07:48 PM 06-05-2013
"You know, Jane, I realize that you are upset but I am not the one who reported you, but only because someone beat me to it. You should be upset with yourself, not the person who reported you, because you were the one breaking the law and now you've lost any chance you had to continue caring for children."
Then I'd probably add something along the lines of "grow up, for Pete's sake!" but that's just me
Then I'd probably add something along the lines of "grow up, for Pete's sake!" but that's just me
MamaBearCanada 05:22 AM 06-06-2013
"Jane, I didn't report you. Must have been someone else fed up with people scamming the system."
Heidi 05:37 AM 06-06-2013
In WI, the first time they catch you, they "inform" you, and encourage you to get licensed by directing you to pre-licensing services.
The next time, in theory, they send a cease-and-desist letter, and then after that, they fine you. Then, they pretty much forget about you until someone new reports you.
and repeat...
The next time, in theory, they send a cease-and-desist letter, and then after that, they fine you. Then, they pretty much forget about you until someone new reports you.
and repeat...
Play Care 05:53 AM 06-06-2013
I like the idea of calling her first. This way you have some control over the initial contact.
And I would say something along the lines of "Jane, I heard you were turned in, and I understand you believe I did it, I want to state unequivocally that I did no such thing. While I feel bad for your circumstances, you made no secret of the fact you had kids in your care when it was not legal. This was bound to happen."
And I would say something along the lines of "Jane, I heard you were turned in, and I understand you believe I did it, I want to state unequivocally that I did no such thing. While I feel bad for your circumstances, you made no secret of the fact you had kids in your care when it was not legal. This was bound to happen."
Willow 06:22 AM 06-06-2013
If I were you I wouldn't say a thing and if she asks deny, deny, deny.
If there is no way she could know it was you play stupid.
"You think I did what the what?? Uhhh, nope. Try again. I've known you weren't licensed for the longest time and didn't say anything why the heck do you think I'd do that now??....."
Tell her good luck and walk away if she remains accussatory and aggressive, if she seems open though explain to her that maybe it won't be such a bad thing for her (if she's good at what she does and you think it might be good for her to continue on licensed).
There is no way I would invite a confrontation from someone who is naturally aggressive much less naturally aggressive AND ticked off at not getting their way to boot.
Ain't nodody got time for that drama
If there is no way she could know it was you play stupid.
"You think I did what the what?? Uhhh, nope. Try again. I've known you weren't licensed for the longest time and didn't say anything why the heck do you think I'd do that now??....."
Tell her good luck and walk away if she remains accussatory and aggressive, if she seems open though explain to her that maybe it won't be such a bad thing for her (if she's good at what she does and you think it might be good for her to continue on licensed).
There is no way I would invite a confrontation from someone who is naturally aggressive much less naturally aggressive AND ticked off at not getting their way to boot.
Ain't nodody got time for that drama
SquirrellyMama 06:34 AM 06-06-2013
Originally Posted by Willow:
If I were you I wouldn't say a thing and if she asks deny, deny, deny.
There is no way I would invite a confrontation from someone who is naturally aggressive much less naturally aggressive AND ticked off at not getting their way to boot.
Ain't nodody got time for that drama
I agree. Do not start the confrontation yourself. If you weren't the one to report her then you have nothing to hide or be afraid of. I think calling her and telling her you didn't do it would look guiltier than saying nothing until asked.If I were you I wouldn't say a thing and if she asks deny, deny, deny.
There is no way I would invite a confrontation from someone who is naturally aggressive much less naturally aggressive AND ticked off at not getting their way to boot.
Ain't nodody got time for that drama
K
Happy Hearts 07:04 AM 06-06-2013
Thanks for all the replies! I think I will wait it out and see if she confronts me. I don't like drama at all.
But, now I feel better prepared. Thanks for your input ladies.
But, now I feel better prepared. Thanks for your input ladies.
Blackcat31 08:00 AM 06-06-2013
Personally if I were in your shoes, my response to her would be "The fallout from YOUR actions have nothing to do with me" and then I'd give her my best stink eye and walk away.
But I completely understand if you are a non-confrontational type of person.
It can be tough to deal with someone who refuses to "get it".
But I completely understand if you are a non-confrontational type of person.
It can be tough to deal with someone who refuses to "get it".
Cat Herder 09:04 AM 06-06-2013
She is the one to have acted out badly (blocking you without notice).
You hold the cards in this situation.
You hold the cards in this situation.