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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Diner Lady Who Yelled At Parents of Screaming Kid
mommyneedsadayoff 12:02 PM 07-21-2015
http://www.pressherald.com/2015/07/1...reaming-child/


I kept reading about this and I am surprised by the controversy. From what I have read, the owner talked to the parents and they wouldn't leave, so after 40 minutes of the kid crying, the owner got mad and yelled (at the parents or kid, not quite sure). Now the parents and everyone are in an uproar. I don't get why. If your kid is flipping out at a restaurant or any public place, you should remove them from the situation if they will not calm down. Seems pretty standard to me. The couple seemed young to me, so maybe this another example of the entitlement parenting generation? Thoughts?
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Thriftylady 12:11 PM 07-21-2015
Without being there it is hard to say. I certainly wouldn't yell at someone's child. But a crying child should be dealt with by the parents. So many parents do just let their kids do whatever they want these days, and I don't agree with that. So many people don't discipline these days.
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Rockgirl 12:34 PM 07-21-2015
Forty minutes is beyond excessive. What about all the other customers....they shouldn't have to endure that. Not saying the owner should've yelled at the child (if it was the child who was yelled at), but I see how she could've become exasperated after 40 minutes of crying/screaming.
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Play Care 12:44 PM 07-21-2015
Saw it on the news. The family should have been asked to leave and escorted out if they refused.

No one should be yelling at anyone.
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Unregistered 02:21 PM 07-21-2015
From what I read it was an exaggeration and the witnesses said it was more like 4 minutes than 40 and that the owner yelled at the child not at the parents. I'm sure this story has nothing to do with the parents being young or entitled (what a rude comment!). Maybe it's because they were white. Or maybe cause they were Jewish. I mean you see how that sounds right? Well, same thing for young. There's no reason to say that a parent that 'looks young' is a crap parent. Anyway, no one knows unless we were there- and we weren't. So no point in guessing what happened.
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Rockgirl 02:27 PM 07-21-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
From what I read it was an exaggeration and the witnesses said it was more like 4 minutes than 40 and that the owner yelled at the child not at the parents. I'm sure this story has nothing to do with the parents being young or entitled (what a rude comment!). Maybe it's because they were white. Or maybe cause they were Jewish. I mean you see how that sounds right? Well, same thing for young. There's no reason to say that a parent that 'looks young' is a crap parent. Anyway, no one knows unless we were there- and we weren't. So no point in guessing what happened.
In all fairness, you're also guessing what happened, based on what you read online. So, 'no point in guessing what happened' applies to everyone.
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mommyneedsadayoff 02:34 PM 07-21-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
From what I read it was an exaggeration and the witnesses said it was more like 4 minutes than 40 and that the owner yelled at the child not at the parents. I'm sure this story has nothing to do with the parents being young or entitled (what a rude comment!). Maybe it's because they were white. Or maybe cause they were Jewish. I mean you see how that sounds right? Well, same thing for young. There's no reason to say that a parent that 'looks young' is a crap parent. Anyway, no one knows unless we were there- and we weren't. So no point in guessing what happened.
Do you have any links to what you have read? All the other stories say the parents were asked to handled their kid, they didn't, and then, after 40 miutes ( I read an hour in one story), the manager or owner got frustrated and yelled "this needs to stop now!" I also would never see how looking young compares to "maybe they were white or jewish, ect." I also never said a young parent is a crap parent. Oddly enough, there are several vitriolic comments from unregistered posters today...
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Rockgirl 02:43 PM 07-21-2015
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
Do you have any links to what you have read? All the other stories say the parents were asked to handled their kid, they didn't, and then, after 40 miutes ( I read an hour in one story), the manager or owner got frustrated and yelled "this needs to stop now!" I also would never see how looking young compares to "maybe they were white or jewish, ect." I also never said a young parent is a crap parent. Oddly enough, there are several vitriolic comments from unregistered posters today...

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Unregistered 02:49 PM 07-21-2015
Oh whoops. I thought entighteled parenting generation meant 'crap'. And I did mean what I said about no point in guessing- includes me. No point. We don't have details since we didn't witness it and there are conflicting reports. And, yes racism, classism, ageism... Those are the same. Idk why you don't know that. Lastly, I'd love to see what other drama some more unregistered are stirring up! Ha-ha has nothing to do with me I find ageism rude is all.
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daycare 03:58 PM 07-21-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Oh whoops. I thought entighteled parenting generation meant 'crap'. And I did mean what I said about no point in guessing- includes me. No point. We don't have details since we didn't witness it and there are conflicting reports. And, yes racism, classism, ageism... Those are the same. Idk why you don't know that. Lastly, I'd love to see what other drama some more unregistered are stirring up! Ha-ha has nothing to do with me I find ageism rude is all.
well don't be so sweet now you might give me a cavity!

Hello all... Interesting post here.

I saw it as well and heard the parents phone interview. Lots of conflicting information. Looks like the owner cracked under pressure and handled it the wrong way. BUT what's done is done and now this restaurant owner has gotten her 20 seconds of fame and will cash in on it.

If you ask me, no one can ever win these days. Parents who try to parent their child in public get judged and those that don't get judged.

All I know is that times have changed.....
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Thriftylady 04:17 PM 07-21-2015
Originally Posted by daycare:
well don't be so sweet now you might give me a cavity!

Hello all... Interesting post here.

I saw it as well and heard the parents phone interview. Lots of conflicting information. Looks like the owner cracked under pressure and handled it the wrong way. BUT what's done is done and now this restaurant owner has gotten her 20 seconds of fame and will cash in on it.

If you ask me, no one can ever win these days. Parents who try to parent their child in public get judged and those that don't get judged.

All I know is that times have changed.....
Yes they have. If I took to screaming in a public place my mom would have made sure to "give me something to scream about". Not that I am sure that would have solved the issue. Oh wait maybe I do, I would have been so afraid of that there wouldn't have been an issue lol.
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daycare 04:19 PM 07-21-2015
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
Yes they have. If I took to screaming in a public place my mom would have made sure to "give me something to scream about". Not that I am sure that would have solved the issue. Oh wait maybe I do, I would have been so afraid of that there wouldn't have been an issue lol.
i saw some guy about 40 yrs old wearing a shirt that said

' I survived the wooden spoon era" I almost wet my pants laughing....funny then, not now.
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NoMoreJuice! 07:51 PM 07-21-2015
First of all, Miss panties-in-a-bunch unregistered, sweeping generalizations such as "the younger generation now raising children are a bunch of narcissistic entitled brats" are wrong, and nobody said ALL young parents are to be labeled as such.

However, we just can't help but notice a slight trend.

The days of "I'll give you something to cry about" are over (aka wooden spoon...good one!), and now we have herds of parents who think their screaming little angel is more deserving of respect than a crowded restaurant filled with patrons who want to eat their damn pancakes in peace.

The manager is correct, she could have handled it better, but she's also correct not to offer an apology.
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mommyneedsadayoff 05:20 AM 07-22-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Oh whoops. I thought entighteled parenting generation meant 'crap'. And I did mean what I said about no point in guessing- includes me. No point. We don't have details since we didn't witness it and there are conflicting reports. And, yes racism, classism, ageism... Those are the same. Idk why you don't know that. Lastly, I'd love to see what other drama some more unregistered are stirring up! Ha-ha has nothing to do with me I find ageism rude is all.
Did you read my post? There is a trend with young parents, which would include my generation, where the baby is the center of the universe and I call it entitled parenting, because they feel they are somehow special since they produced offspring. I don't care if it was 4 minutes or 40 minutes, if it was my kid, they would haven't been allowed to cry for even one minute. They would get a firm, "you need to calm down and eat or we will go to the car". And then you know what??? I would actually follow through! Shocking right?! The parents should have handled their kid from the beginning and if they had, the owner would never had gotten invovled and this wouldn't be a news story. Sadly, times have changed and we are now discussing who was right or wrong. The owner admitted to losing her temper and using bad judgment by yelling. I have not read anything where the parents have admitted to their own lack of action in parenting their kid. That is entitlement. They feel that since they are paying customers, they should be able to do whatever they want and everyone should just deal with it. The owner gave them a wake up call if you ask me and she had every right to as the "rights" of one set of customers do not trump the "rights" of the 70 other paying customers who would like to enjoy their meal in peace. Again, we see it all the time in daycare these days and it is mostly 20s and 30 somethings, so if you want to call it ageism...well, if the shoe fits!
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LindseyA 06:35 AM 07-22-2015
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
Did you read my post? There is a trend with young parents, which would include my generation, where the baby is the center of the universe and I call it entitled parenting, because they feel they are somehow special since they produced offspring. I don't care if it was 4 minutes or 40 minutes, if it was my kid, they would haven't been allowed to cry for even one minute. They would get a firm, "you need to calm down and eat or we will go to the car". And then you know what??? I would actually follow through! Shocking right?! The parents should have handled their kid from the beginning and if they had, the owner would never had gotten invovled and this wouldn't be a news story. Sadly, times have changed and we are now discussing who was right or wrong. The owner admitted to losing her temper and using bad judgment by yelling. I have not read anything where the parents have admitted to their own lack of action in parenting their kid. That is entitlement. They feel that since they are paying customers, they should be able to do whatever they want and everyone should just deal with it. The owner gave them a wake up call if you ask me and she had every right to as the "rights" of one set of customers do not trump the "rights" of the 70 other paying customers who would like to enjoy their meal in peace. Again, we see it all the time in daycare these days and it is mostly 20s and 30 somethings, so if you want to call it ageism...well, if the shoe fits!
Thank you further explaining. I, for one, felt a twinge of offense by the "they seemed young... May be entitlement parenting generation" comment. Just being honest! I agree that there certainly is a change in parenting these days, but to make such a generalization rubbed me the wrong way. As does many many generalizations. But that's just me.
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Unregistered 06:44 AM 07-22-2015
Crying children don't bother me at at. People yapping on their cell phones at the next table in a restaurant annoy me to no end. Next time I guess it will be ok to slam my hand down on the table and scream at them to get off the phone.
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Heidi 06:56 AM 07-22-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Crying children don't bother me at at. People yapping on their cell phones at the next table in a restaurant annoy me to no end. Next time I guess it will be ok to slam my hand down on the table and scream at them to get off the phone.
No, probably not ok, although a polite "hey, could you take that outside please?" would be fine, or asking the owner/manager to handle it. They would also most likely say "hey, could you take that outside, please?"

But, if it's the 10th time in a day that someone is doing that, or the 10th time that week, and they ignore a polite request, then maybe they'd lose their temper. Sometimes, it just gets old!

It IS a right of any business owner to do business with anyone they choose. As long at the are not discriminating against a protected class, they can kick anyone out they choose. I can tell ALL my customers to go to he** if I choose, as long as it's not based on discrimination. That wouldn't exactly be good business practice, though. But, one customer ruining everyone else's experience at my restaurant? Please leave!
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Sugaree 07:08 AM 07-22-2015
This was a total fail on the part of the parents. And, the owner was completely unprofessional in this (and other) FB posts.

So....fail all the way around.
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Play Care 07:10 AM 07-22-2015
Originally Posted by Sugaree:
This was a total fail on the part of the parents. And, the owner was completely unprofessional in this (and other) FB posts.

So....fail all the way around.
Agreed.

No, the child shouldn't have been allowed to cry/scream for any length of time.

But the owners ranting makes her seem unbalanced rather than a champion of diners who want quiet everywhere.
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mommyneedsadayoff 07:13 AM 07-22-2015
Originally Posted by LindseyA:
Thank you further explaining. I, for one, felt a twinge of offense by the "they seemed young... May be entitlement parenting generation" comment. Just being honest! I agree that there certainly is a change in parenting these days, but to make such a generalization rubbed me the wrong way. As does many many generalizations. But that's just me.
I totally understand. I am 32, so I am included in that generalization. The reason I said they looked young, is because I have not had the experience of seeing this type of parenting in people who are quite a bit older. I am sure they exist, as people are waiting later in life to have kids, but for me, my experience has been with parents in the 25-35 age range. Ten years ago or so, I didn't see this type of parenting as much, but I now see it almost daily. At the store, at restaurants, at the park, ect. I am only basing what I say off of my own experiences. Again, the diner lady said she made bad judgment by yelling and all the mother did was complain on FB. I love reading the comments, though, because you do tend to see a common theme. The people defending the diner are annoyed with parents not parenting their kids "these days". I don't think it is just daycare providers who see this, we just get the front row seat. And again, there are always exceptions and I know many awesome moms and dads who are in their twenties and thirties and some really crappy parents who are in their 40s. I just think the whole situation would be non existent if the parents had dealt with the baby right off the bat. They didn't and the lady blew up, which was not cool either and now its a headline.
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Blackcat31 07:14 AM 07-22-2015
I love how ANYTHING and EVERYTHING controversial now days has ONE common denominator.......

Facebook


...eventually it will be akin to the lead in the water and the downfall of the Roman Empire......
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mommyneedsadayoff 07:18 AM 07-22-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Crying children don't bother me at at. People yapping on their cell phones at the next table in a restaurant annoy me to no end. Next time I guess it will be ok to slam my hand down on the table and scream at them to get off the phone.
Or you could use your manners and politely ask them to take the call outside. If they just sit there and ignore your requests, just as the mom and dad of the crying child did, then you could be a little more direct or ask a manager if they can help. If being asked politely by another patron, as well as by the manager, they STILL do not make any attempts to leave or wrap up the call, then go ahead and slam those fists down if you choose to do so! As another patron having to listen to the loud noise, I would probably be right there with ya!
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mommyneedsadayoff 07:22 AM 07-22-2015
Just want to add that I worked in the restaurant industry for quite a long time and I always found that being nice and calm really goes a long way. I don't think the owner handled it well at all and I don't the parents did either. If it was my restaurant, I would have packed their food to go and handed it to them with a "I am very sorry your little one is so upset, so I packed your food to go and it is on the house today. Hope her day gets better!" Sweet smile and understanding eyes, because I am sure we have all had that time where your little flips their sh!t and it is embarrassing and stressful. A little kindness goes a long way! Now, if they threw a fit at me and demanded to be able to eat at the restaurant, I would lose the kind smile and tell them to leave NOW! My business, my right to refuse service.
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LindseyA 07:23 AM 07-22-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I love how ANYTHING and EVERYTHING controversial now days has ONE common denominator.......

Facebook


...eventually it will be akin to the lead in the water and the downfall of the Roman Empire......
Exactly why I don't have a Facebook! I'm excited that one day in the future I can brag about never having one lol! I think it honestly causes problems in relationships, friendships, and over all its a tool for nasty people to be even more mean and nasty. No thank you!
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Annalee 09:26 AM 07-22-2015
Originally Posted by LindseyA:
Exactly why I don't have a Facebook! I'm excited that one day in the future I can brag about never having one lol! I think it honestly causes problems in relationships, friendships, and over all its a tool for nasty people to be even more mean and nasty. No thank you!
I despise FB and don't have one either...did a while back but not for long...too much drama and found out things I didn't want to know!.
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Blackcat31 09:35 AM 07-22-2015
Originally Posted by Annalee:
I despise FB and don't have one either...did a while back but not for long...too much drama and found out things I didn't want to know!.:ouch:
Yes, denial is one thing but something NOT knowing something is blissful.
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MarinaVanessa 12:23 PM 07-22-2015
From different articles and interviews with the parents, the diner owner and some of the customers that were in the restaurant that day the only ones saying that the owner yelled at the toddler are the parents.

Everyone else is saying that the owner yelled at the parents after customers complained about the child crying for MORE than 40 minutes and giving them the option of either quieting the toddler or leaving and taking their food to go and the parents refused to do either. That's when the owner went ballistic on the parents.

I'm not condoning the owner's behavior at all and think she also behaved badly but I do feel like the parents are crying victim and acting like they are not at fault when in fact they allowed their toddler to cry loudly while upsetting other customers and then refused to leave when told to do so. Then they left a bad review on the Diner's FB page and the Owner responded very badly to it.

Neither the parents nor the owner behaved very adult like but I have to say I kind of side with the owner. Of course I would have just called the police and had them removed instead of yelling at them after they refused to leave and I wouldn't have responded the way she did to the review since it reflects badly on her and her business but the parents could have avoided the entire situation in the first place if one of them would have just picked the toddler up and taker the toddler outside while she cried.

If you really read comments that people leave in the online news feeds you'll notice that the majority of people are siding with the owner even though she behaved very badly.
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MarinaVanessa 12:25 PM 07-22-2015
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
Just want to add that I worked in the restaurant industry for quite a long time and I always found that being nice and calm really goes a long way. I don't think the owner handled it well at all and I don't the parents did either. If it was my restaurant, I would have packed their food to go and handed it to them with a "I am very sorry your little one is so upset, so I packed your food to go and it is on the house today. Hope her day gets better!" Sweet smile and understanding eyes, because I am sure we have all had that time where your little flips their sh!t and it is embarrassing and stressful. A little kindness goes a long way! Now, if they threw a fit at me and demanded to be able to eat at the restaurant, I would lose the kind smile and tell them to leave NOW! My business, my right to refuse service.
The funny thing is that at first the owner did, she asked them to take their food to go and the parents refused and that;s when the Owner went crazy and batty on them
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crazydaycarelady 01:27 PM 07-22-2015
Knowing that the owner of a diner won't put up with crap from kids makes me more likely to go there. Hubby and I have had many meals turn unpleasant by other people and their rude children. A restaurant in our town actually just remodeled with an adult only section. Yeah!
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cheerfuldom 02:27 PM 07-22-2015
The mother wrote an article with her side of the story. There is also a review she wrote on the restaurant. The owner responded back with a long paragraph FULL of curse words and threats (this was before the whole story went viral) I will try and find the link. Just from the outrageous and unprofessional response of the owner in the review, I would guess that the owner flipped out on the parents as the parents described.
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MarinaVanessa 02:51 PM 07-22-2015
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
The mother wrote an article with her side of the story. There is also a review she wrote on the restaurant. The owner responded back with a long paragraph FULL of curse words and threats (this was before the whole story went viral) I will try and find the link. Just from the outrageous and unprofessional response of the owner in the review, I would guess that the owner flipped out on the parents as the parents described.
I've seen the review and the parent interview. I don't doubt that the owner yelled, cursed and behaved badly ... but I still feel like the parents could have avoided the situation by leaving when asked. It wasn't until after they refused to leave that the owner yelled at them (the parents, not the toddler like the parents have said ... according to clients that were there that day).

Neither party behaved well in my opinion but the owner was in HER business, at that point the customers became trespassers when they refused to leave ... I wouldn't have been that irate but I would have been hostile if I were in the position of losing business because of one family.
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renodeb 04:20 PM 07-22-2015
To be really honest, I think this story has gotten way out of hand. No the owners should not of "yelled" at the child. She should of handled it in a very professional manner. With out being there it is hard to say what really happened. I heard the child was crying for an hour and the parents continued to ignore her. As a child care provider, when I go to a restaurant I want to enjoy myself, and relax. I don't want to hear whiny children (that would be excessively whiny). I understand that kids are kids but if your child is really causing a racket do something about it!.
Debbie
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ColorfulSunburst 07:08 PM 07-22-2015
Now people of the city know where they can eat without any crying children around.
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Unregistered 08:39 PM 07-22-2015
https://www.washingtonpost.com/poste...ned/?tid=sm_fb
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Unregistered 09:15 PM 07-22-2015
As the owner stated, the family is clearly f-ing crazy for ordering 3 pancakes in the first place. (3 pancakes!? What are they thinking!)

Seriously, this owner is insane!
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Play Care 04:12 AM 07-23-2015
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
From different articles and interviews with the parents, the diner owner and some of the customers that were in the restaurant that day the only ones saying that the owner yelled at the toddler are the parents.

Everyone else is saying that the owner yelled at the parents after customers complained about the child crying for MORE than 40 minutes and giving them the option of either quieting the toddler or leaving and taking their food to go and the parents refused to do either. That's when the owner went ballistic on the parents.

I'm not condoning the owner's behavior at all and think she also behaved badly but I do feel like the parents are crying victim and acting like they are not at fault when in fact they allowed their toddler to cry loudly while upsetting other customers and then refused to leave when told to do so. Then they left a bad review on the Diner's FB page and the Owner responded very badly to it.

Neither the parents nor the owner behaved very adult like but I have to say I kind of side with the owner. Of course I would have just called the police and had them removed instead of yelling at them after they refused to leave and I wouldn't have responded the way she did to the review since it reflects badly on her and her business but the parents could have avoided the entire situation in the first place if one of them would have just picked the toddler up and taker the toddler outside while she cried.

If you really read comments that people leave in the online news feeds you'll notice that the majority of people are siding with the owner even though she behaved very badly.
From the article with the moms side of it, it sounds as if they were not really asked to leave... The owner yelled across the diner to them but never came over and actually asked. In fact it seemed as though they didn't even realize she was being serious. Nor did their waitress back up the owner and say "guys you need to leave" according the them the child had fussed while waiting but was eating happily at the time. It was also raining outside during this and since the baby had stopped fussing they continued to sit inside. (This according to the mom)
I also think most people in the U.S. despise children. Yes, I said it. We are a very kid unfriendly society (so much so that Tourists from other countries have commented on this) - the message I take away from most of these stories is that kids are welcome so long as they are seen and not heard (this includes regular shatter or happy sounds) I willing to bet most of the commentary is from people who have been on a plane or in a restaurant with a tantruming child and are projecting their experience on to this. It would be interesting to see a post from someone who could prove they were actually in the restaurant that day to get a legit third party account.

***Please don't think I'm in any way condoning a child screaming in public and parents doing nothing.*** not my point at all.

I just think had the owner acted professionally and really asked them to leave (or even packaged their food to go as suggested above) and the parents continued to stay I would have more sympathy for the owner.
She behaved like an asshat and continues to behave like an asshat.

Frankly she sounds overwhelmed. If a diner owner in a resort town can't handle slinging hash for a crowd on a weekend morning then she's in the wrong line of business.
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mommyneedsadayoff 06:27 AM 07-23-2015
I don't believe the mom's opinion piece. She admits the baby had a tantrum and was still fussing when they got their food, so they decided to eat quickly and then leave. THEY were hungry, so that meant everyone else had to listen to the TODDLER (not baby) as they shoveled pancakes in their mouth. They should not have needed to be ASKED to leave. They should have left of their own accord. They knew the wait time to be seated was over 30 minutes and even said the place was jammed packed. They then waited 40 minutes for their food. The long wait for food is not their fault, but they still had a choice of whether to wait or to leave and grab some quick food. When the food arrived, they had a choice to box it up and go, or to let the child "fuss" and eat their food.

The owner acted like a crazy person. She sounded like a lady who needs a day off from her diner. The only thing I like, though, is that she said she was guilty of bad judgment. She wasn't sorry, but she did admit to going overboard. The parents have not admitted to any wrong doing. The mom says they never expected their little trip to Maine to make national headlines...as she writes a piece for the Washington Post. She was also the first to start the media circus by posting the bad review on the public FB page for the diner. I just don't buy the whole "poor me and my poor baby". It seems way too convenient. I think the owner acted like a fool, but at least it felt authentic.

And on a side note, apparently true Maine residents do NOT like New Yorker tourists! Definetely some tension with residents ad tourists!
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Play Care 07:51 AM 07-23-2015
The other day I was at an ice cream stand. While we were there a group of disabled adults and their staff came. One of the folks was clearly upset and kept making this horrible loud moaning noises. It was ear piercing.

No one shot them looks, or yelled at them, or asked them to leave.

Eventually they did leave, but on their own accord with no commentary from anyone else.

Why is it okay for one group but not others? Why do we have an age limit on compassion?

I think most parents try to do the best they can with the options they think they have at time. Now, could the parents have planned better? I think lesson learned here.
But I still maintain we are a "children should be seen and not heard" society and if a child is crying/tantruming in public the general consensus is that the parents are lazy and not doing their job.

I recall a story of a woman and toddler on an airplane where the toddler lost her mind. Nothing mom tried worked. When the plane landed mom was handed a note by another passenger - the note detailed what a failure the mom was and what she should have done to keep her child quiet on the flight. The thing is, the mom had done all those things - they didn't work...

I'm not saying the parents should have stayed or shouldn't have been asked to leave. They totally should have been if its as bad as described.
But you do so in a professional and kind manner. Just as you wouldn't yell at a group of disabled adults for behaving in similar fashion, you shouldn't be yelling at someone else's kid.
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mommyneedsadayoff 08:03 AM 07-23-2015
Originally Posted by Play Care:
The other day I was at an ice cream stand. While we were there a group of disabled adults and their staff came. One of the folks was clearly upset and kept making this horrible loud moaning noises. It was ear piercing.

No one shot them looks, or yelled at them, or asked them to leave.

Eventually they did leave, but on their own accord with no commentary from anyone else.

Why is it okay for one group but not others? Why do we have an age limit on compassion?

I think most parents try to do the best they can with the options they think they have at time. Now, could the parents have planned better? I think lesson learned here.
But I still maintain we are a "children should be seen and not heard" society and if a child is crying/tantruming in public the general consensus is that the parents are lazy and not doing their job.

I recall a story of a woman and toddler on an airplane where the toddler lost her mind. Nothing mom tried worked. When the plane landed mom was handed a note by another passenger - the note detailed what a failure the mom was and what she should have done to keep her child quiet on the flight. The thing is, the mom had done all those things - they didn't work...

I'm not saying the parents should have stayed or shouldn't have been asked to leave. They totally should have been if its as bad as described.
But you do so in a professional and kind manner. Just as you wouldn't yell at a group of disabled adults for behaving in similar fashion, you shouldn't be yelling at someone else's kid.
I was a nanny for a child with autism and I did not treat him differently when he had a melt down in public. We left. Same as we have done with our toddler and anytime I have had a daycare baby do the same. I think people are more forgiving of people with disabilities, though, because they can't help it. I am not saying a two year old should know better than to have a meltdown, but how you react to it teaches them for future situations. I don't think ignoring it in a public place is the right approach. They feel ignored and it tends to make it a lot worse, not better. Removing them until they calm down and then talking with them on what is okay and not okay lets them know that throwing a tantrum in the store will not do you any good. Of course, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure (or something like that?). I wouldn't expect my already cranky two year old to wait almost 70 minutes to be fed. We would have hit up Mcdonalds and called it a day

I do agree that there is less tolerance for children nowadays, but I kind of wonder if that is because people are fed up with parents like the ones in the story. They let their kid flip out and then ignore it, making everyone else have to deal with it. I don't believe that if my kids starts wailing a Walmart, I should ignore it and go about my shopping. I will leave my cart and pick them up and leave and this has happened and it stinks, so I totally have compassion for parents, but not for parents who choose not to do anything. A lot of times, parents have heard their kid throw a fit and they learn to tune it out, not realizing that in public, other people not be as good at that as they are.

I also agree that owner was out of line. Maybe she was frustrated, bad day, expected parents to handle it and when they didn't she flew off the handle? Regardless, she should have handled it better! I have no problem with children in public, even when they get upset. What generally upsets me is how the parents chose to handle it or not handle it. It was not the toddlers fault she was upset, but it was the parent's fault for not dealing with it. Just my opinion, but again, I agree that BOTH parties could have done things so much differently and then we wouldn't even be having this discussion!
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Rockgirl 08:17 AM 07-23-2015
Originally Posted by Play Care:
The other day I was at an ice cream stand. While we were there a group of disabled adults and their staff came. One of the folks was clearly upset and kept making this horrible loud moaning noises. It was ear piercing.

No one shot them looks, or yelled at them, or asked them to leave.

Eventually they did leave, but on their own accord with no commentary from anyone else.

Why is it okay for one group but not others? Why do we have an age limit on compassion?
The main difference I see here is that a child is in the stage of life where he/she is learning--this is the time for them to be taught what is appropriate and what isn't. I don't like the 'seen and not heard' philosophy, but screaming/crying for an extended length of time in a public place is inappropriate. A child can be taught about how their behavior affects the people around them.

The disabled adult you described isn't "acting out". He/she isn't going to learn "Hey, this isn't okay....stop, or we leave." That's why people at the ice cream stand didn't make comments, in my opinion.
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TXhomedaycare 09:26 AM 07-23-2015
I read both articles and even though the diner owner was unprofessional and rude I really feel like the parents did not handle the situation properly. As a parent a 30 minute wait with my 4 yo and 1 yo old means we go somewhere else. Even if that means fast food or being in the rain instead. I recently went out to eat with my husband and 2 boys and there was a couple with a infant who allowed their baby to cry for our entire meal time. We left before they did and on my way out I had to look at them and see who these people were who felt they should subject everyone to their child crying for at least 45 minutes. I didn't give them the evil eye but I didn't give them the understanding mom grin either because they should have left and I had had enough. I come prepared with multiple things for my kids to do and if that doesn't work we will leave (I have never had to leave before though). I don't think America is anti children but I do think not everyone is on board with everything being child centered which didn't use to be the case. Everyone seems determined to force their lifestyle on everyone else. I chose to have kids so I manage them in a way that doesn't require others to get involved. We are always respectful and considerate of others and I always have a plan when we go somewhere because children require planning ahead. The diner owner seems unprofessional and crazy and the mother seemed unrealistic and seemed to make a rookie mistake.
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Silly Songs 11:03 AM 07-23-2015
In the heat of the moment , the diner owner yelled at the parents/baby. Mom posts about her experience on the diner's FB page. This is AFTER everything happened. The diner owner reacts by cursing and calling the parents all kinds of names. I think the diner owner is in the wrong 100 percent. Even if the parents let the child cry for awhile, the diner owner reacted very badly. Why the need to call the parents names and curse on social media ? She owns a diner , open to the public ! The parents should have taken the child outside, yes . But do they deserve to be treated the way they were treated ? Absolutely not. The mom complained in a respectful manner . Diner owner went beserk. She doesn't like criticism. I understand her being upset , but her reaction is over the top inappropriate. If you read the Facebook page for the diner , there are a few horrible posts from someone who runs the Facebook page , full of cursing and swearing. I'm on the parents side , even if the child cried for awhile . So they didn't leave . That's a bad choice . That doesn't make them bad parents.
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Play Care 11:17 AM 07-23-2015
Originally Posted by Silly Songs:
In the heat of the moment , the diner owner yelled at the parents/baby. Mom posts about her experience on the diner's FB page. This is AFTER everything happened. The diner owner reacts by cursing and calling the parents all kinds of names. I think the diner owner is in the wrong 100 percent. Even if the parents let the child cry for awhile, the diner owner reacted very badly. Why the need to call the parents names and curse on social media ? She owns a diner , open to the public ! The parents should have taken the child outside, yes . But do they deserve to be treated the way they were treated ? Absolutely not. The mom complained in a respectful manner . Diner owner went beserk. She doesn't like criticism. I understand her being upset , but her reaction is over the top inappropriate. If you read the Facebook page for the diner , there are a few horrible posts from someone who runs the Facebook page , full of cursing and swearing. I'm on the parents side , even if the child cried for awhile . So they didn't leave . That's a bad choice . That doesn't make them bad parents.
This!
I have acknowledged that the parents should have removed the child - buuut, they're on vacation, maybe not 100% familiar with the area, everyone's hungry and the food been ordered. As a parent I've been there. Trying to make the best, quickest possible choice while the walls fall down around my ears.

Every time the diner owner opens her mouth or posts something it's horrible profanity filled ranting. She sounds like an absolute nut.
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laundrymom 11:20 AM 07-23-2015
Why didn't one parent wait inside for table and other take sweetness to the car to wait? I'm sure I'm not
The only parent to do that.
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racemom 12:12 PM 07-23-2015
When my son was 16 months we went in to a chain restaurant to eat. After ordering ds decided to throw a tantrum. After trying to calm him for a minute or two, I took him to the car while dh asked for our food to be boxed up to go. Yes I sat in the car for a while waiting for our food with a crying child, but nobody else had to deal with his crying. Sure, It was not what we planned, but I think people need to think of others.
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MarinaVanessa 12:30 PM 07-23-2015
I don't believe the mom's side of the story, sorry. For one thing she also said that the owner screamed at her toddler (in her review, I think but can't remember) and several customers as well as the owner have all said that the owner yelled at the parents. She was near them all but the yelling wasn't directed at the child, it was to the parents.

The owner however tells her side and the story and proudly as it seems so for to admit she did what she did and said what she said I tend to believe her more considering that she's admitting to behaving (IMO) inappropriately and unprofessionally. I know I read in one article that the owner loudly asked if they're table's check was ready so maybe that's what some are referring to in regards to whether the parents didn't know they were being asked to leave but in a different article with one of the other customers it said that the owner went to the parents table and asked them to either quiet their kid or take their food to go and that's when the parents said no. That backed up the owner's version of what happened. So far the only people I've seen tell a story that doesn't match up are what the parents are saying.

Overall I think this issue is way overboard but it sure does make for an interesting discussion doesn't it lol.
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mommyneedsadayoff 12:55 PM 07-23-2015
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
I don't believe the mom's side of the story, sorry. For one thing she also said that the owner screamed at her toddler (in her review, I think but can't remember) and several customers as well as the owner have all said that the owner yelled at the parents. She was near them all but the yelling wasn't directed at the child, it was to the parents.

The owner however tells her side and the story and proudly as it seems so for to admit she did what she did and said what she said I tend to believe her more considering that she's admitting to behaving (IMO) inappropriately and unprofessionally. I know I read in one article that the owner loudly asked if they're table's check was ready so maybe that's what some are referring to in regards to whether the parents didn't know they were being asked to leave but in a different article with one of the other customers it said that the owner went to the parents table and asked them to either quiet their kid or take their food to go and that's when the parents said no. That backed up the owner's version of what happened. So far the only people I've seen tell a story that doesn't match up are what the parents are saying.

Overall I think this issue is way overboard but it sure does make for an interesting discussion doesn't it lol.
I agree. The diner owner may have been rude or over the top, but she felt authentic and she said what she did and even admitted to poor judgement. The mom seems like she wants everyone to feel bad for her and her baby...hence my intitial comment about entitlement parenting. "Oh poor me! I had a baby and it is tough being a parent and all I wanted to do was eat my pancakes and this big, scary lady yelled at me! Boo hoo!" That was all I got from her explanation. The biggest issue I have is that the whole thing could have been avoided if the parents had read the signs of their toddler and planned appropriately. They didn't and the owner flipped out. Not cool , but it definitely does not release the parents of the part they played in this whole situation. And if the mom didn't want the media attention, she wouldn't have posted on FB int he first place or written an Op-ed for the washington post. She just doesn't want people who called her out on her parenting to get the last word. (for the record, the dad was there too and just as faulty, but the mom is the one who has posted online and written the article, so that is why I refer to her).
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