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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I need help, a plan of action, something.
deliberateliterate 09:40 AM 10-09-2014
Free play is driving me crazy. Either I'm not doing it right, or my DCKs aren't. Probably a combination of both. I'm positive most, if not all of this is age appropriate behavior, but it is driving me nuts regardless, and I need some ideas on how to teach these children how to play, and how to survive the day without gorging on chocolate and cookies during nap time.
I have 3 DCks, all PT. Two girls that are smack on 24 months, and a boy, 2.5. All of my older kids (DCK and my own) are now in school full time, so for the first time since I opened, I don't have any older kids to act as a buffer for the young ones. The dynamic is not working.
The 2.5DCB is not really that big of an issue. He will happily play by himself and amuse himself with whatever toys he has. He does get really frustrated when anyone comes near him, and will quickly gather, hoard his toys and run away. He's not really that verbal, which I think makes it worse.
The two girls are really my biggest problem. #1 has a really short attention span. She wants to go to the basement (playroom), and after 5 minutes, she's whining to go upstairs. She wanders from toy to toy, and really only wants what someone else has. She doesn't actually sit and play with anything, aside from my FP farm, which keeps her attention for a few minutes at at time. If someone comes near her, she screams bloody murder. If she tries to take a toy and she doesn't get it, bloody murder.
#2. She is a source of constant frustration but she is so sweet. Full of smiles, hugs, cuddles. But almost no social skills or boundries. She is all over all of the kids, all the time. Constantly wanting to hug, kiss, cuddle, tickle. She hits constantly as well. She has absolutely no clue how to play with anything unless I am there, pretty much hand over hand, but she won't remember the next day, what I showed her. She'd much rather wander, dump something out, then move on. She follows the other kids around, and won't give them any space. I think she *might* be a little delayed, or babied to the extreme, or both. She was an extreamly late walker, a little after 18 months. She is just recently started to become more verbal. When I give her a simple direction (go to the door and pick up your shoes, come here to change your diaper), she just looks at me like she has no idea what I just asked her, even though it's a multiple times a day request.
I'm so sorry this turned in to a novel. I would really appreciate any tips, rules that work for you, ideas etc. I've seen mention of people that use hula hoops to allow kids space to play, or I've seen someone post that if you have a toy in your hand, you must be sitting down, playing with it? ANYTHING at this point. Thank you so much for any help you have.
I have 3 DCks, all PT. Two girls that are smack on 24 months, and a boy, 2.5. All of my older kids (DCK and my own) are now in school full time, so for the first time since I opened, I don't have any older kids to act as a buffer for the young ones. The dynamic is not working.
The 2.5DCB is not really that big of an issue. He will happily play by himself and amuse himself with whatever toys he has. He does get really frustrated when anyone comes near him, and will quickly gather, hoard his toys and run away. He's not really that verbal, which I think makes it worse.
The two girls are really my biggest problem. #1 has a really short attention span. She wants to go to the basement (playroom), and after 5 minutes, she's whining to go upstairs. She wanders from toy to toy, and really only wants what someone else has. She doesn't actually sit and play with anything, aside from my FP farm, which keeps her attention for a few minutes at at time. If someone comes near her, she screams bloody murder. If she tries to take a toy and she doesn't get it, bloody murder.
#2. She is a source of constant frustration but she is so sweet. Full of smiles, hugs, cuddles. But almost no social skills or boundries. She is all over all of the kids, all the time. Constantly wanting to hug, kiss, cuddle, tickle. She hits constantly as well. She has absolutely no clue how to play with anything unless I am there, pretty much hand over hand, but she won't remember the next day, what I showed her. She'd much rather wander, dump something out, then move on. She follows the other kids around, and won't give them any space. I think she *might* be a little delayed, or babied to the extreme, or both. She was an extreamly late walker, a little after 18 months. She is just recently started to become more verbal. When I give her a simple direction (go to the door and pick up your shoes, come here to change your diaper), she just looks at me like she has no idea what I just asked her, even though it's a multiple times a day request.
I'm so sorry this turned in to a novel. I would really appreciate any tips, rules that work for you, ideas etc. I've seen mention of people that use hula hoops to allow kids space to play, or I've seen someone post that if you have a toy in your hand, you must be sitting down, playing with it? ANYTHING at this point. Thank you so much for any help you have.
Second Home 10:27 AM 10-09-2014
One thing I do to prevent hoarding toys is the 2 toy rule for smaller toys like people , animals ,cars ,etc...
I tell them they only have 2 hands so they only need 2 toys , and help them count or to decide which 2 they want to keep playing with .
I have a top shelf of older toys / things a child may need help with . I used to have kids always asking for a top shelf toy only to dump it out and put it right away . So I would set an egg timer , all the top shelf toys must be kept until the timer goes off . And they know in advance they have to keep playing with it . They can also help to set the timer .
I tell them they only have 2 hands so they only need 2 toys , and help them count or to decide which 2 they want to keep playing with .
I have a top shelf of older toys / things a child may need help with . I used to have kids always asking for a top shelf toy only to dump it out and put it right away . So I would set an egg timer , all the top shelf toys must be kept until the timer goes off . And they know in advance they have to keep playing with it . They can also help to set the timer .
Blackcat31 10:53 AM 10-09-2014
I help the toddlers and young preschoolers learn time management by using a kitchen timer.
I ask them to choose a toy/activity and then set the timer. They can stop playing but they cannot move onto another activity or toy until the timer goes off.
This ^ would help a lot with the playing in the basement (play room) issue.
Start with small increments of time and add more as they become used to playing independently.
HTH
I ask them to choose a toy/activity and then set the timer. They can stop playing but they cannot move onto another activity or toy until the timer goes off.
This ^ would help a lot with the playing in the basement (play room) issue.
Start with small increments of time and add more as they become used to playing independently.
HTH
preschoolteacher 10:54 AM 10-09-2014
It sounds to me like girl #2 may be delayed. The language wouldn't concern me as much as the inability to follow simple instructions.
I have several two year olds, but they all know how to play and play together (most of the time!). How hard with three who don't!
I think since your kids are pretty nonverbal and have a hard time with directions, things like the two toy rule, timers, etc. may just go completely over their heads and you'll just be enforcing that all day.
It sounds like they need to be separated more often. Can you create zones that they must stay in? Gates could help if the zones were big enough. Rugs or large blankets can designate spaces, like they need to stay on their own blanket. A hill hoop seems too small and I can't see a young two year old sitting in a hula hoop space for long, especially if one or two already have short attention spans.
I'd try to keep them more or less separated during free play but let them do whatever in their spaces. They want to hoard or dump or whine? Okay. Everyone should have their own toys, no trading or taking toys from another section, so hoarding will lose its appeal. Dumping toys, fine. Whining, you can't hear it. I'd rotate zones after awhile so they can try new toys.
Then I'd do more group activities when you can be 100% involved modeling good social behavior.
Maybe in a few months you can give up on the zones and try free play again.
I have several two year olds, but they all know how to play and play together (most of the time!). How hard with three who don't!
I think since your kids are pretty nonverbal and have a hard time with directions, things like the two toy rule, timers, etc. may just go completely over their heads and you'll just be enforcing that all day.
It sounds like they need to be separated more often. Can you create zones that they must stay in? Gates could help if the zones were big enough. Rugs or large blankets can designate spaces, like they need to stay on their own blanket. A hill hoop seems too small and I can't see a young two year old sitting in a hula hoop space for long, especially if one or two already have short attention spans.
I'd try to keep them more or less separated during free play but let them do whatever in their spaces. They want to hoard or dump or whine? Okay. Everyone should have their own toys, no trading or taking toys from another section, so hoarding will lose its appeal. Dumping toys, fine. Whining, you can't hear it. I'd rotate zones after awhile so they can try new toys.
Then I'd do more group activities when you can be 100% involved modeling good social behavior.
Maybe in a few months you can give up on the zones and try free play again.
deliberateliterate 11:05 AM 10-09-2014
I like all three of these ideas and think I might be able to combine them. I really like the idea of the blanket/rug specific to each set of toys. I'm going to try placing each child on a rug with a toy, and setting a timer for 3 or 4 minutes at at time and see if I can keep them there. Maybe I'm just too lax with how I let them "play" as the room looks like a bomb hit it at the end of each free play period.
I just realized that my 2.5DCB is away for the next couple of weeks, so this will be a great opportunity to focus on my two "trouble makers" to see if I can make any progress.
I just realized that my 2.5DCB is away for the next couple of weeks, so this will be a great opportunity to focus on my two "trouble makers" to see if I can make any progress.
rosieteddy 11:08 AM 10-09-2014
Let me finish my cookies and I will give my thoughts.....Those ages are tough.I cut down free play to just 20 min then story time snack and out .We take a 20 min walk around neighborhood then yard for 1 hour.I also move as a unit .We all go to playroom ,kitchen for snack and porch for active play.My reason for cookie eating at nap is a 2,9 ,3.4 yr old boys 2 babies screaming through lunch and two 19 month girls finnally peace.Also I do have a "clubhouse "-rectangle pen.Good place for babies in the am. but also older boys like to build with blocks in it away from toddlers.