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NoMoreJuice! 11:27 AM 03-29-2016
All kids go downstairs to get ready for nap at 12:00 pm sharp. We read books, tuck in, and turn out the light by about 12:20, at which time I go upstairs and leave my assistant with the sleeping kids. When I came upstairs today, I saw a text from a dcm that she'd be over to get her son for a SCHEDULED eval at 12:45.

Then another one texted me at 12:45 asking if it would be ok to wake their child up so they could pick up to go to the park. I've been so tough on these parents, and these are my longest running clients in this current group.

WHY do I have to keep retraining??? Any tips on making it stick?
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Annalee 11:35 AM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by NoMoreJuice!:
All kids go downstairs to get ready for nap at 12:00 pm sharp. We read books, tuck in, and turn out the light by about 12:20, at which time I go upstairs and leave my assistant with the sleeping kids. When I came upstairs today, I saw a text from a dcm that she'd be over to get her son for a SCHEDULED eval at 12:45.

Then another one texted me at 12:45 asking if it would be ok to wake their child up so they could pick up to go to the park. I've been so tough on these parents, and these are my longest running clients in this current group.

WHY do I have to keep retraining??? Any tips on making it stick?
I am right there with you......and I have NO answers! NOTHING amazes me anymore! I have come to the the conclusion that they pick up on time and pay on time.....???? Just trying to find something good to say Other than that I am emotionally drained after all are dropped off in the morning! Some of the conversations I have in the morning are
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Snowmom 12:11 PM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by NoMoreJuice!:
All kids go downstairs to get ready for nap at 12:00 pm sharp. We read books, tuck in, and turn out the light by about 12:20, at which time I go upstairs and leave my assistant with the sleeping kids. When I came upstairs today, I saw a text from a dcm that she'd be over to get her son for a SCHEDULED eval at 12:45.

Then another one texted me at 12:45 asking if it would be ok to wake their child up so they could pick up to go to the park. I've been so tough on these parents, and these are my longest running clients in this current group.

WHY do I have to keep retraining??? Any tips on making it stick?
Regarding what I bolded above:
If you feel you've already been "tough" on these parents and you keep having to "re-train" them, then perhaps they're not clear on what the consequence for breaking policy is.

Regarding pick up during nap time:
I can share what I do, but keep in mind that I'm very strict with my policies and have no qualms about telling people they can be terminated (and I can replace within a week, so it won't affect me financially).
In my Handbook:
I make it very clear to parents that while I will never keep them from picking up their child whenever they'd like, I do ask they refrain from picking up during nap time as this disrupts the entire group of 12 children whose 12 families rely on routine with healthy naps. If they still chose to do so, I will gladly get their child ready to go along with a termination notice.
If they'd like to avoid the termination notice, then they can pick up before 12:45 or after 3:15.

They must initial a condensed version of it in my contract as well....and I stick to it.

If someone calls or texts about picking up at nap, I will reply back "Did you realize that's nap time? I can get dck ready to go, but it will mean it's your two week termination notice effective today as stated in your contract. Did you still want to come at 1pm?".
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Blackcat31 12:20 PM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by Snowmom:
Regarding what I bolded above:
If you feel you've already been "tough" on these parents and you keep having to "re-train" them, then perhaps they're not clear on what the consequence for breaking policy is.

Regarding pick up during nap time:
I can share what I do, but keep in mind that I'm very strict with my policies and have no qualms about telling people they can be terminated (and I can replace within a week, so it won't affect me financially).
In my Handbook:
I make it very clear to parents that while I will never keep them from picking up their child whenever they'd like, I do ask they refrain from picking up during nap time as this disrupts the entire group of 12 children whose 12 families rely on routine with healthy naps. If they still chose to do so, I will gladly get their child ready to go along with a termination notice.
If they'd like to avoid the termination notice, then they can pick up before 12:45 or after 3:15.

They must initial a condensed version of it in my contract as well....and I stick to it.

If someone calls or texts about picking up at nap, I will reply back "Did you realize that's nap time? I can get dck ready to go, but it will mean it's your two week termination notice effective today as stated in your contract. Did you still want to come at 1pm?".
.....or the consequence isnt strong enough to prompt them to follow the policy.

"people rarely change their behavior until it becomes a problem for THEM"
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Annalee 12:26 PM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
.....or the consequence isnt strong enough to prompt them to follow the policy.

"people rarely change their behavior until it becomes a problem for THEM"
It is not that the mom gets their way here it is just that they ask over and over and over even though I am going to say NO, NO and NO..
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NoMoreJuice! 12:29 PM 03-29-2016
Good point. I can be tougher. Instead of terming, I am going to attach an inconvenience fee to naptime pickups. $30 for first offense, $50 for second, $100 for third. Sound fair?
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Snowmom 12:49 PM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by NoMoreJuice!:
Good point. I can be tougher. Instead of terming, I am going to attach an inconvenience fee to naptime pickups. $30 for first offense, $50 for second, $100 for third. Sound fair?
Possibly. If they ask you why it's "inconvenient", what will you say? I'm asking because, I do agree, attaching money may be an effective way to stop it. But, I think you'd need to be prepared on how to explain it if questioned.
My thoughts:
Because technically you are still allowing it, you'll get people who will do it, thinking you won't really charge them and if you do charge them, they'll then question the charge itself for validity. kwim?
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NoMoreJuice! 12:56 PM 03-29-2016
Totally valid point. Zero naptime pickups. But I'm not willing to term. So where does that leave me?
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childcaremom 01:03 PM 03-29-2016
I like the fee idea. If they asked why it was an inconvenience fee I am sure that you could come up with an answer. It's disruptive to the group. It's disruptive to the routine. It's disruptive to your supervision of children. It's an inconvenience to have to keep reminding parents that you don't appreciate pick ups during naptime.
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Blackcat31 01:07 PM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by NoMoreJuice!:
Totally valid point. Zero naptime pickups. But I'm not willing to term. So where does that leave me?
I would just be really firm on how inconvenient it is and how one person's failure to be respectful of an entire group is not acceptable or logical.

Maybe if Sally picks up Jr during nap one day (inevitably disturbing others) you could make sure that another day (or two or three) soon after that Jr gets a really late nap so it disrupts his mood at home and then when Sally asks what's going on, you can say "Well JoAnn keeps picking up Jane during nap time disrupting everyone else's nap".

I am not suggesting you try this but I am not advising you not to either.

Sometimes though parents DO suddenly get it when you find a clever way to help them understand.
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Ariana 01:08 PM 03-29-2016
I have a "no nap time pickup" policy that is strictly enforced. If the parent does need to pick up for an appointment they need to give me 24 hr notice (I am ok with the night before as well) and the child needs to be picked up before kids go down for nap. So in your case the child needed to be picked up at 12pm. If I don't get any notice the child goes down for nap and I do not answer the door.

There is no fee attached to this because it simply is not happening
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KayB 01:20 PM 03-29-2016
I personally don't mind them picking up at naptime....sure makes a easier afternoon with less pickups. BUT...my rules are that I WILL lay your child down and WILL NOT pick them up off of their mat UNTIL you have texted me to say you are here and then I will bring them out to you! In the meant time I have everything ready to go by the door that they take with them.
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Unregistered 01:45 PM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by KayB:
I personally don't mind them picking up at naptime....sure makes a easier afternoon with less pickups. BUT...my rules are that I WILL lay your child down and WILL NOT pick them up off of their mat UNTIL you have texted me to say you are here and then I will bring them out to you! In the meant time I have everything ready to go by the door that they take with them.
That's what I do. Parents get a very sleepy/half awake kid and all their stuff!
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Rockgirl 02:11 PM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by KayB:
I personally don't mind them picking up at naptime....sure makes a easier afternoon with less pickups. BUT...my rules are that I WILL lay your child down and WILL NOT pick them up off of their mat UNTIL you have texted me to say you are here and then I will bring them out to you! In the meant time I have everything ready to go by the door that they take with them.
This is me. It only took a couple of times of "I will pick up right at nap, so please keep him up." We all know what happened, right?
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Kimskiddos 04:20 PM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by KayB:
I personally don't mind them picking up at naptime....sure makes a easier afternoon with less pickups. BUT...my rules are that I WILL lay your child down and WILL NOT pick them up off of their mat UNTIL you have texted me to say you are here and then I will bring them out to you! In the meant time I have everything ready to go by the door that they take with them.
This is also what I do on the rare occasions I have a dcp push this. Because on the whole I don't like nap pick ups! But I also don't mind being a little accommodating/flexible.
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Nurse Jackie 05:33 PM 03-29-2016
I have no advice to give because mines all pick up at the last minute. Even on their off days
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MissAnn 06:00 PM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by NoMoreJuice!:
Totally valid point. Zero naptime pickups. But I'm not willing to term. So where does that leave me?
You might have a no nap time pick up policy.....but is it really legal to keep a child from his parent?
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Snowmom 06:51 PM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by MissAnn:
You might have a no nap time pick up policy.....but is it really legal to keep a child from his parent?
No. However, it's not unreasonable to expect parents to respect you and the other families you care for by picking up either before or after that 2-2.5 hour timeframe.
If they really can't avoid that 1pm DR appointment (or whatever), then fine, pick them up at noon and go to lunch together. Win-win.
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MunchkinWrangler 07:00 PM 03-29-2016
So far, I haven't had to deal with this, except for one time and it was an unavoidable dr. appt. time. I woke the child up and she left, I also put her in a separate area that day so I wouldn't have to wake up the other kids. I do make it clear that I discourage drop offs and pick up during naptime and that they should be made with reasonable time before and after. I have younger kids so the parents are probably more in tune with how important naptime is.
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Snowmom 07:07 PM 03-29-2016
Originally Posted by NoMoreJuice!:
Totally valid point. Zero naptime pickups. But I'm not willing to term. So where does that leave me?
If they give you enough warning, you could try simply saying "No, sorry, you know my policy on nap time pick ups. Either pick dck up before nap by 12:20 or after nap at 3:00."
Or
"I know I've mentioned this before, but nap time pick ups are very disruptive to the group, our routines and our schedule. If you'd like me to re-arrange our schedule to accommodate mid-day pick ups for you, I will need to increase your weekly fee to cover labor (which you mentioned you had an assistant) and switch break times. Is this something you think will continue?"
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Unregistered 07:53 PM 03-29-2016
It might sound awful but sometime I simply ignore their messages for a good 20min or so. And I reply that I was busy and saw it was not an emergency so I had to care for the kids first.

In the beginning the parents would often showed up right in the middle of an activity or party or worse they would arrive before we opened and I made them wait for a while. Now that they had to wait so long they don't do it anymore!

Some parents would arrive 15min before we open and ring the bell non stop it would stress me out so much until I realized they are in the wrong not me and I would just let them ring the bell until it was exactly 8
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Play Care 05:26 AM 03-30-2016
Originally Posted by MissAnn:
You might have a no nap time pick up policy.....but is it really legal to keep a child from his parent?
In my state we can't tell them they can't pick up at naps, and I know of some providers who had to change their contracts if they had a "no nap time pick up" clause. technically any time a parent shows we have to give them their child.
But my policy is similar to another poster in that kids are napped and handed out the door to the parent. I will not keep kids up. I would be livid about the short notice though.
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MunchkinWrangler 07:15 AM 03-30-2016
Originally Posted by Play Care:
In my state we can't tell them they can't pick up at naps, and I know of some providers who had to change their contracts if they had a "no nap time pick up" clause. technically any time a parent shows we have to give them their child.
But my policy is similar to another poster in that kids are napped and handed out the door to the parent. I will not keep kids up. I would be livid about the short notice though.
I'm not allowed to either. I have to have an open door policy regarding anyone having to do with the daycare. I just simply discourage it and then leave it up to the parents. I also control what I can control, which is moving their child to a different area, etc.
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Blackcat31 07:23 AM 03-30-2016
Originally Posted by MunchkinWrangler:
I'm not allowed to either. I have to have an open door policy regarding anyone having to do with the daycare. I just simply discourage it and then leave it up to the parents. I also control what I can control, which is moving their child to a different area, etc.
This is where many of the provider-parent relationships have issues...

Parent definition of "open door policy" is not the same as a providers.
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NoMoreJuice! 10:32 AM 03-30-2016
Our state regs have an open door policy written into them which roughly translates "No parent shall be denied access to their child when they show up at the most ridiculously inconvenient time of day."

If a parent showed up to pick up their child without warning, I would absolutely follow the law and allow access. But according to my surveyor I am allowed to strongly encourage parents to be respectful of naptime and choose to pick up before or after it.

I don't want to use termination as enforcement, nor do I now want to use a fee since that would still allow the behavior. It just has to stop, I'm literally at the end of my rope with these parents. It doesn't help that there's almost two dozen of them, so at any given day of the month one of them is bound to forget.
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Annalee 10:39 AM 03-30-2016
My door stays locked so if parents come at nap they have to text/call me to let them in. They remain in the foyer/entrance and I bring the child to them. They can see in my daycare room but we run a fan/sound machine/lullaby music so the noise isn't a factor for me. I don't necessarily tell them they can't come at nap But with the door locked they can't just barge in. I also have a sign I place on the door to "please enter quietly children are napping". My door remains locked throughout the day.
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NillaWafers 01:29 PM 03-30-2016
I have had parents do this, but they gave me a heads up so I put them to sleep separately from the other kids. That worked fine. If they don't give me a heads up my door is locked so good luck. :-\
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Tags:interruption - sleep, parent - interruptions, parents - don't cooperate
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