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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>What Are Your Thoughts On "Lovies" Or Security Items?
Indoorvoice 07:34 AM 06-25-2016
I have several kids who "need" to bring security items to daycare. It's never been a problem because they happily put them in their cubby upon arrival and don't mention it the rest of the day. However the last couple of weeks, kids have been forgetting their items because we play outside at the end of the day and then when they realize they forgot they make their parents come back sometimes HOURS after I have closed to get their blankie or animal.

Now, I already now how I'm going to address it starting Monday, so that's not the question. My question is, are these security items really a "need"? Am I being too harsh in telling them that they can't come back to get forgotten items until I'm open again or that they can't bring them at all? My own kids have never been so attached to something that they couldn't wait until the next day to get it so I honestly just don't understand. If it's really a need, then maybe I can be more accommodating, but I feel it's a need the parents are creating and therefore I'm getting pretty irritated with it. What are your thoughts?
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Controlled Chaos 07:55 AM 06-25-2016
No, they don't really need them, parents dont want to say no.

Good for you for ending after hour returns. That's why I don't allow anything from home.
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childcaremom 07:59 AM 06-25-2016
After hour panicking is why I no longer allow them. If they absolutely must have them, leave them in the car. They don't come in the house, period.
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Unregistered 09:06 AM 06-25-2016
I don't mind security items. If it's a blanket it has to stay in their cubby till nap. Can't stand it just being drug around, soon to be dropped, but a freak out when it is picked up and put back in the cubby.

So they have to deal immediately with it being stored in their cubby at all times except nap.

I allow one item from home (such as a toy) at a time. It's part of my policy to bridge child care and home. They don't have to share it but they can't pick and choose who can and cannot play with. It's either share with all or not at all! I feel kids have to share everything here and it's nice to have a personal item.

I know most here don't allow blankets from home. My kids never had a security but I do understand it. I had one as a kid!

I can see where it drives you crazy that they come back! Some kids have a super hard time going to bed without their blanket. It would make for a rough night. But if parents go through that they hopefully won't forget next time. Don't enable parents and require no after hour pick-ups!
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e.j. 10:06 AM 06-25-2016
I'm okay with security items but once I get the feeling that they're no longer necessary, I try to encourage parents to keep them at home. Sometimes parents will bring in toys they say the child wants to sleep with at nap time. I'm okay with that as long as the child is willing to leave the toy in their cubby until then. If there is any upset at leaving them in the cubby, I ask the parents not to bring them at all.
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pandamom 10:28 AM 06-25-2016
I work in a center and my room has a rule that if a child wants their lovie, they must sit down at the small table and chairs by the front window. If they want to go play, blanket or item must be placed in their cubby.

This way the item is in One of two places at all times. When a parent tries to allow child to drag it around, we just explain that it's a safety issue- tripping over blanket being drug around, sanitation issue because they suck on it and would leave it everywhere or we don't want other children to damage the stuffed animal/toy if their child leaves item somewhere.
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MsHannah 10:37 AM 06-25-2016
I certainly don't mind lovies, BUT I have a rule that the children can only have their lovies out at naptime. Otherwise, the lovies stay in their cubbies. I have the same rule with pacifiers and children that are over 18 months.
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Josiegirl 03:09 PM 06-25-2016
Originally Posted by MsHannah:
I certainly don't mind lovies, BUT I have a rule that the children can only have their lovies out at naptime. Otherwise, the lovies stay in their cubbies. I have the same rule with pacifiers and children that are over 18 months.
Yep yep yep!
Older kids are back and 1 dcg who is 5.5 brings a blanket. I keep finding it places and putting it back on top of the cubbies. I equate blankets, certain stuffed animals, etc., as a security measure much like sucking thumbs. And I believe some kids definitely need that source of comfort. But it does become a pain in the backside having blankets dragged all through your dc. So they only get it at nap.
As to dck forgetting it, why doesn't dcm find a substitute that would work if they happen to forget it at your place? One blanket magically becomes 2. I would NOT want people showing up randomly in my life requesting their lovey back.
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Second Home 03:09 PM 06-25-2016
I don't mind lovies/small blankets . Kids can have them at nap time or they have to sit in the family room on a blanket if they need to comfort themselves . They can not drag it around the house . I always tell parents that they should have 2 of the special item that way if they forget one here they always have a back up as I will not be available for them to come and get the item after closing.
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KiwiKids 05:22 PM 06-25-2016
I allow lovies as long as the child is ok with other kids touching their beloved blanket or stuffed animal. I had one toddler who would start bawling the minute another child touched their little bear. As kids are finishing their last couple of months with me before heading off to kindergarten I start to phase the lovey out because lovies aren't allowed at school.

I absolutely would NOT want parents coming back hours later though! Once I am "off" I don't want to be "on" until I open the next day. I would have to make a rule that if it is left here it stays here until the next day.
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Unregistered 05:31 PM 06-25-2016
It's funny another poster mentioned parents encouraging the behavior. I had one pain in the neck parent when I taught in a public school. She actually would make her child cry on purpose and say to use these creepy blanket. It was like a knock off blanket and the characters looked like corpses. It scared the other kids. I don't allow them here.
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MrsSteinel'sHouse 06:24 PM 06-25-2016
If they have a lovey, they must have 2 because one must stay here. I do not shuffle back and forth. Generally they are broken of it much quicker here than at home. and yes, only for naptime.
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Controlled Chaos 09:39 PM 06-25-2016
Originally Posted by MrsSteinel'sHouse:
If they have a lovey, they must have 2 because one must stay here. I do not shuffle back and forth. Generally they are broken of it much quicker here than at home. and yes, only for naptime.
Yes ^ I have allowed children to bring a blanket for nap time that lives here. But no back and forth.
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Crazy8 03:46 PM 06-26-2016
I have no problem allowing a "lovie" BUT it can not be huge and it has to stay here and is only used for nap time. I used to have the frantic forgot to send it home calls in the evening so decided on the it has to stay here rule - usually parents buy a duplicate of whatever they are attached to, many are fine with something similar but a little different and I have one creative mom who cut up and sewed a large blanket into a bunch of little blankie pieces.

I have 3 children of my own and only 1 was super attached to something. I didn't encourage or discourage it so I really think it does depend on the child. I've noticed many just like a soft comfort item against their cheek.
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Play Care 05:56 AM 06-27-2016
Like others they are only for nap time here, and as soon as nap is over, they are packed to go home.

I had a similar issue with lovies when I first started. Calls at 9:00pm asking if the lovie was here ( and at the time my own kids were young toddlers) No thanks!
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Blackcat31 06:36 AM 06-27-2016
I allow lovies or comfort items for nap time but the items STAY here the duration of the child's enrollment.

I launder as needed.

I do not allow them to go back and forth due to lice, scabies and bed beds..... EWWW! (never had a problem with them and want to keep it that way).

I used to let them go back and forth but then a DCD texted me at 10:00 PM one night and wanted to know if he could come get his child's forgotten blankie...

Um, no. I am not driving 7 miles into town to get a blanket you bring back and forth DAILY but that YOU forgot this day and didn't notice you forgot until 8 hours AFTER picking up.

Um,nope.

All lovies and comfort items STAY here.

If they do get taken home, they can't come back.
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Unregistered 07:16 AM 06-27-2016
In addition to all of that^^

The last time I had one going back and forth, the dcp would call or email after hours desparate for me to look for the blanket.

Then they wouldn't call or email back after they found it at home!

So I would stlll be keeping an eye out for it and they had already found it!
(Rude!)
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AmyKidsCo 12:58 PM 06-27-2016
I strongly encourage them to bring lovies that can stay here but don't require it. If they forget it and we're home I'll put it on the front porch for parents to pick up, but if we're not home the child will have to wait until the next day.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 04:01 PM 06-27-2016
I really don't like to allow them. For those that INSIST that their child can't sleep without them I make them send in a SMALL one for their cot here and it stays here until they unenroll.
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Febby 05:17 PM 06-27-2016
We allow ONE SMALL stuffed animal/lovie/pillow/other soft item, that can only come out at nap or in the "calm down" area.

I do work in a center though so once we're closed, you're out of luck if you forgot any of your child's belongings.
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Tags:lovies, security
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