We had an interview this evening for a 3yo and 4 yo sibling pair. I spent the interview talking to dcm and dcgpa and even though there were a few things dcb is "full of energy" and "excitable", they need open to close care and dcg has many many allergies) it seemed like it would be workable , but hubby (dcpartner) spent the interview w/ the children and our other dcks and he thought they would not be a good fit. After talking to him after and putting together what dcparents said and what dcks did (dcb was sneaky, talked back, refused to pickup, dcg pouted over everything, horded toys, and also refused to follow any instructions or pick up) we decided not to offer them the spots. We are both taking classes this Jan and need a small or easy group so one or the other of us can do it on our own when we need to.

The problem is that I gave them the impression the spot was theirs if they wanted it. Usually if it looks like it wont work I tell the parents we have other interviews scheduled and we will let them know. I didn't do that in this case because they are looking for care starting next week and I thought we would be accepting them if they chose us. What is the best route to go now? Should I call them and say we have other interviews planned and I will let them know, or that after discussing it we don't feel that we are the best fit for their needs, or that we filled the spot? I have her phone number, no email though.

Thanks so much for any advice!!

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I would just fall her and say

"I really enjoyed the interview with your family. I was just touching base to let y'all know when we finish up with all of our interviews, I'll let you know"

Maybe not go I to details as to why.

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DH made the decision, let him make the call.

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LOL riiiight The way we do our interviews I focus on talking to the parents and he focuses on the daycare kids and the interviewee kids. He is right about it not being a good fit, I just didn't know it until after we got together and compared notes after. I just need to make sure to tell every family that we will let them know, even if I think they are a good fit. That way we can talk about it after and decide

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It was worth a try...

You two need a code word. "Code Bebe's Kids!!"

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I had a similar situation. DCM and I were in one room and I left our interview feeling like it would be a great fit. My husband, DCD, and the DCKs were in the playroom and he saw and heard a whole different situation than what I saw. The dad was very open about some behavioral problems, some confrontations between the mom & previous provider, and how they were leaving the old daycare due to the provider not being flexible with them bout being late & paying late. This was early on, right after I had opened, before I felt comfortable using my backbone. After hearing about the mom being very confrontational (including a shove) at the previous place, I didn't really want to start any problems. I called them the next day, and said that someone I had interviewed awhile back had filled the positions and that I would let them know of any future openings. Yes it was a lie, but I avoided the confrontation.

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This is what I was thinking, but she found me by my CL ad, and went to my website. So if I tell her I filled the spots, but then continue to advertise won't she call back?

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I advertise year round to add clients to my waiting list. If she asked me after the spots were filled I would say "even when here aren't positions open, I continue to advertise to keep the word of mouth going and to add to my wait list ". If she insists, I can pretend to add her to my wait list.... Right at the bottom lol

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What about

Hi Susie, we really enjoyed meeting your family on Tuesday. Due to a change in circumstances within the group of our current daycare children we are unable to offer your children a place at this time. However, if you wish we can add you to our wait list and call you when 2 vacancies open.

If she asks what's changed just answer with an "I'm sorry but I cannot disclose that. I'm sure you appreciate the need for confidentiality when dealing with children."

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You could be honest and say "After rethinking things, we decided that we will not be able to accomodate your children after all but it was nice to meet you."

If they ask why say "Well honestly, the children were not well behaved when they were here. Sorry."

Then that's it. I wouldn't elaborate if they persist. Just tell them "Sorry, it won't work out." That way you won't have to worry about your ad, etc.

Laurel

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I just told him that last night! He said he could hear me talking and it sounded like I was offering them the spot (which I pretty much was) and he was trying to get my attention so he could shake his head noooo

I noticed the gate going upstairs was bent this morning and hubby said dcb was shaking it so hard he thought he was going to pull it off its hinges (he is almost 5!). Hubby said "no, no we don't go upstairs" dcb says (while still trying to pull gate off) "why?, I want to go up there" Hubby says "It's just bedrooms, we don't go up there" DCB continues to try to pull the gate off until hubby physically removes him and redirects- at almost 5 yo!!

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Sounds good.

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I called her and was just honest- We don't feel we are the best fit for your family, it was nice meeting you and best wishes on your search for childcare.

It was uncomfortable, but at least I am done with it now!

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Laurel

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I know that you have made your choice that you don't want to enroll. BUT hear me out.....lol

I never try to monitor or gauge the children's behavior when the parents are present. Children always behave differently for their parents than they do providers.

I am not too sure if you have a trial period, but I have a two week paid trial and this is what I use it for.

If everything checks out. Parents on same page, ages fit, hours fit, etc. then I move forward and we test it out.

That I can recall, I have only ever had one child that did not make it through my trial period. The child was so sweet and loving at the interview, but on his 3rd day of care he blew up in anger, flipping over one of our HUGE DC eating tables. I can barley lift those tables....

Anyways, there's my two cents......

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There were other issues also I just didn't put them all together into a picture of what it would be like with this family enrolled until after. I have found that a lot of parents have a bad habit of saying the right thing (like how they handle discipline, their views on education, what they allow/don't allow, what hours they need, etc) but then after they enroll they try to push every boundary and I just don't have the time for that!

I really dislike terming so I would rather weed out families that aren't a good fit before I enroll

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got it..... if that is the case, then I would just be honest.

I learned the hard way to tell the truth. I interviewed a family and the child was one of the worst I have ever saw. He full on choked his baby brother, parents laughed, the child cleared my shelves throwing it all on the ground. Again parents did nothing. The final straw was when the child climbed on top of my kitchen counters and yes once again, parents said nothing.

I was new and didn't know what to say. The DCP called me a day later and said we want to enroll, I lied and said I decided to fill the spot with another family.

Well my ad was still up for an open spot for a few more weeks. The mother caught me, called me out on it and even threaten me with discrimination due to race.....UGH

So now when I interview I tell the parents this. "I am very picky about who I let into our program. I take pride when I say that we don't have kids who bite, hit or are hurtful to one another, so I really try to look at the over all picture when I am selecting families to enroll. I want to make sure that your child will fit into our program with ease and be successful here. So I will let you know in a few days my decision.

Then if I don't chose them, I will say unfortunately, I don't feel that we are the right fit for each other, however, we surely do appreciate your time to come out of your way to see our program. Here is the number for our R&R, I am sure you will be able to find a great place for JOhnny using their services.

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