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Old 02-16-2012, 02:29 PM
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Default Parent Question?? Same Irritating Mom

I have a parent that thinks it is ok to come in and talk very loudly not minding what she says. Now she even has said things to the kids in my care like one that interrupted her this infuriated me what can i say to her to make her wait at the gate and not step over.. What do i say to her to also let her know she is not to be interacting with other peoples children in my house im so confused wondering if i should just terminate her but i love having her son he is so cute and such a good boy tips please??
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Old 02-16-2012, 02:37 PM
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So is she disiplining the children? Your post does not say exactly but that is the impresion I get.

Either way you could say that for the safety of all the children in your care. You will no longer be able to allow her to say past 5 mins at pick up and drop off.

If she questions you just say that other parents might start to feel unconfortable with other adults hanging around the house. Then ask her how she would feel if your mother came to vistit you for 1 hour everyday.
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Old 02-16-2012, 02:38 PM
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can you "blame' you lic. regs.
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Old 02-16-2012, 02:51 PM
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Switch to the Buh-Bye Outside Program.

AKA, Kiss-N-Go. Been around and effective since the 70's.

Lock doors, have children dressed and ready to go home....then meet them at the door.

Simple solution. Works wonders. Adults should never have access to other peoples children unless they are on the pick-up list.
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Old 02-16-2012, 03:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Catherder View Post
Switch to the Buh-Bye Outside Program.

AKA, Kiss-N-Go. Been around and effective since the 70's.

Lock doors, have children dressed and ready to go home....then meet them at the door.

Simple solution. Works wonders. Adults should never have access to other peoples children unless they are on the pick-up list.
I've been having trouble implementing this.... I have a dad who will peek in my window/door because "he wants to see his child playing" so I started doing this and now he says "oh, you don't have to put her coat on, I like to see her play when I get here". I've explained it is because I had trouble with other kids getting unruly when I am with a parent picking up (true) and he STILL comments on it every day. And I have his daughter saying "daddy, you can hold the baby (my other daycare child). I'm like HELL NO he can't!!!!
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Old 02-16-2012, 03:27 PM
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Originally Posted by familyschoolcare View Post
So is she disiplining the children? Your post does not say exactly but that is the impresion I get.

Either way you could say that for the safety of all the children in your care. You will no longer be able to allow her to say past 5 mins at pick up and drop off.

If she questions you just say that other parents might start to feel unconfortable with other adults hanging around the house. Then ask her how she would feel if your mother came to vistit you for 1 hour everyday.
yeah she was talking to me and the other kids were acting wild well one of my dck was repeatedly saying kayla and she proceeded to say "*******, stop it im trying to talk" i know i should have stopped her right there and said something but i think i was just in shock. I think i will be terminating her soon though because she has just no respect for my home or anything she continues to walk in with her snow filled boots she continually grabs candy out of my candy dish, she has opened my refrigerater and cupboards, and the last 2 days she has shown up late. she shows up in the middle of the day because she" forgets stuff" in her diaper bag.. I'm just irritated but like i said i love the her kid and it would be a big loss to my income because he is a full time kid. 460$ a month i would be losing i just dont know what to do anymore..
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Old 02-16-2012, 03:30 PM
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well, to be honest, I would love it if my parents would linger a little and find out about their child's day!

In the Family & Community Relations class I am currently taking, they encourage this, also.

When I used to go to visit the school (when my kids where little), all the kids would come running and get hugs from me. I miss those days!

I know these are your homes, but you are running a business, too. If you were a center or a school, you'd be happy these parents came in and visited.

As for the nasty talk or disciplining other children, I would tell this mom very sweetly: "Hey, Mama, we need to keep it G rated around here!"

If she is getting in your way, put her to work! "Hey, since you love helping out so much here, could you help us with this art project?" or " I know how much you LOVE hanging out with the kids, so as long as your here, maybe you'd like to read them a story?"
Yes...great!
NO, oh, well, then have a great afternoon...I need to get going!
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Old 02-16-2012, 03:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy8 View Post
I've been having trouble implementing this.... I have a dad who will peek in my window/door because "he wants to see his child playing" so I started doing this and now he says "oh, you don't have to put her coat on, I like to see her play when I get here". I've explained it is because I had trouble with other kids getting unruly when I am with a parent picking up (true) and he STILL comments on it every day. And I have his daughter saying "daddy, you can hold the baby (my other daycare child). I'm like HELL NO he can't!!!!
I see both sides of thise. Parents are told to "spy" on theri Child Care Provider, I think they shou.ld be able to. People (myself included) that have nothing to hide hide nothing. Maybe for just that one dad you can hand him his child and her coat. I say this realizing that I might not be the best person to ask for advice on this topic as I have never had this problem. I only have the children ready to walk out the door if it is with in 1/2 hour or so of my closing.
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Old 02-16-2012, 03:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kayla View Post
I have a parent that thinks it is ok to come in and talk very loudly not minding what she says. Now she even has said things to the kids in my care like one that interrupted her this infuriated me what can i say to her to make her wait at the gate and not step over.. What do i say to her to also let her know she is not to be interacting with other peoples children in my house im so confused wondering if i should just terminate her but i love having her son he is so cute and such a good boy tips please??
"Mom, please wait at the gate. I do allow parents past that point." '

I know it isn't easy to be assertive and firm but sometimes you simply HAVE to either that or put up with the issue.
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Old 02-16-2012, 03:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kayla View Post
yeah she was talking to me and the other kids were acting wild well one of my dck was repeatedly saying kayla and she proceeded to say "*******, stop it im trying to talk" i know i should have stopped her right there and said something but i think i was just in shock. I think i will be terminating her soon though because she has just no respect for my home or anything she continues to walk in with her snow filled boots she continually grabs candy out of my candy dish, she has opened my refrigerater and cupboards, and the last 2 days she has shown up late. she shows up in the middle of the day because she" forgets stuff" in her diaper bag.. I'm just irritated but like i said i love the her kid and it would be a big loss to my income because he is a full time kid. 460$ a month i would be losing i just dont know what to do anymore..
Well, if the child interupted her in an annoying way, I don't know that I would be upset, but I guess it depends on how she said it. The child was being disrespectful, it sounds like, but I wasn't there.

Snow filled boots...she walks AROUND? If so...it would be a stern look, pointing, and ***x....BOOTS! She'd get it.

Candy dish? Does she follow you around and just help herself or is it in the entryway? She opens your fridge?

It sounds like you need to just speak up and set some clear boundries!
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Old 02-16-2012, 03:47 PM
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My dcp's rarely go farther than my front foyer. At drop off and pick up times (everyone is within about 45 minutes of each other for both), we play in my front room that is right off the foyer so they can see thier kids right when they walk in. No need to walk around my home. And, if they did need to come farther in, they always take thier shoes off. They are very respectful of my home and would never think of walking around in snowy boots or looking in my fridge or cupboards. What possible reason could she have that she feels the need to do that????? Definitely need to set some boundaries with this woman.

I personally love all my dcp's so I have no problem with them chatting for a few minutes at drop off or pick up. Especially the moms. They are all awesome ladies! But then, they do not rebuke the other kids.
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Old 02-16-2012, 04:14 PM
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I dont mind that she stays and chit chats but my husband works nights and she comes in at 7 talking very loud (yelling). And using curse words the other day she said s**t and then covered it up by saying crap. im sorry but both of those words are not aloud in my home, i have impressionable kids that will go home and repeat them. And i get that he might have been annoying her but taking care of him is my job she should not have snapped at him.. and that is exactly what she did. And her going threw my cupboards and fridge just erks me one day she grabbed an orange from my fridge im sry i do not get reimbursed for her eating my food... And the candy dish is in a glass china cabinet with a child lock on it she had to open it to get in to it. I assume she was just raised different because she is adopted. idk, and i have said something to her about wearing boots in my house she just continues to do it.
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Old 02-16-2012, 04:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy8 View Post
I've been having trouble implementing this.... I have a dad who will peek in my window/door because "he wants to see his child playing" so I started doing this and now he says "oh, you don't have to put her coat on, I like to see her play when I get here". I've explained it is because I had trouble with other kids getting unruly when I am with a parent picking up (true) and he STILL comments on it every day. And I have his daughter saying "daddy, you can hold the baby (my other daycare child). I'm like HELL NO he can't!!!!
I'd tell him the same thing I tell my other clients... "I won't let other adults stand around and watch your child play everyday, either. If you have a concern, let's schedule a time to discuss it. If you want to observe tomorrow (pick a day) for the entire morning or afternoon, fill out this background check form and I will inform the other parents tonight. If not, I need you to follow the routine like everyone else. This is disruptive and I need to get back to work right now. Thank you."

IMHO, He can take his own child to the park to watch her play with other kids.... I am at work ALONE and don't provide adult care. They have to walk through 3 rooms of my private family space to get to my playroom. My own kids are in the kitchen doing homework at pick-up times. All my clients pick-up within 15 minutes of my closing time.

The biggest factor is that if parents don't trust me enough to feel the need to "spy" I'd prefer they just left completely. I don't have time to do conferences during work hours, we go over this ad nauseum during the interview process. I work ALONE, I don't do it to be difficult....just practical. Just because someones reproductive organs work does not make them trustworthy. "Show me the papers" and full disclosure for the other parents of all daytime visitors.
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Old 02-16-2012, 04:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kayla View Post
I dont mind that she stays and chit chats but my husband works nights and she comes in at 7 talking very loud (yelling). And using curse words the other day she said s**t and then covered it up by saying crap. im sorry but both of those words are not aloud in my home, i have impressionable kids that will go home and repeat them. And i get that he might have been annoying her but taking care of him is my job she should not have snapped at him.. and that is exactly what she did. And her going threw my cupboards and fridge just erks me one day she grabbed an orange from my fridge im sry i do not get reimbursed for her eating my food... And the candy dish is in a glass china cabinet with a child lock on it she had to open it to get in to it. I assume she was just raised different because she is adopted. idk, and i have said something to her about wearing boots in my house she just continues to do it.
She is just plain disrespectful. I assume that she knows your husband is sleeping and still yells. And swearting in front of kids like that is so uncool. I have never had a parent take my food. And to go in a locked cabinet and take candy....that is just soooo nervy!!!! I don't think I would be able to keep someone like that. No matter how she was raised, none of these things is okay. If she is not going to speak appropriately and respect your property and food, I would say she needs to go.
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Old 02-16-2012, 05:32 PM
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Originally Posted by familyschoolcare View Post
I see both sides of thise. Parents are told to "spy" on theri Child Care Provider, I think they shou.ld be able to. People (myself included) that have nothing to hide hide nothing. Maybe for just that one dad you can hand him his child and her coat. I say this realizing that I might not be the best person to ask for advice on this topic as I have never had this problem. I only have the children ready to walk out the door if it is with in 1/2 hour or so of my closing.
I think its creepy to peek in windows and doors!!!! If he wants to show up a half hour early ONCE IN A WHILE to see her in action I can understand that, she's also almost 5 and can recite every detail of our day if he asked her - but when every day pick up time has become unruly I had to put a stop to it (they were all running in the halls, jumping on the steps, etc.).
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Old 02-17-2012, 07:52 AM
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I would sit her down and explain what she's doing and why it's not okay with you. ("I know you mean well when you correct the kids in my care but I would prefer you not do that because...... Also, you have a tendency to walk through my house with dirty shoes, etc. I would really appreciate it if you would stop doing that. This is a day care but it is also my home....") If you're thinking of terminating her over her behavior anyway, you don't have anything to lose by speaking with her.

I'd at least give her a chance to fix the things she's doing wrong. If after you speak with her, she continues to walk through your home with her dirty, wet boots, continues to take candy from your candy dish, etc., I'd terminate her at that point.

Also, just wanted to add that my husband was adopted but he has never behaved the way this woman does in your home. Her behavior really doesn't have anything to do with being adopted.
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