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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>daycare kid power stuggles
Peaches 12:45 PM 07-29-2015
So I have a 4 yr old DCG that's been coming for a year. She is the same age as my son. They have played nicely on and off all year. But there always seems to be power struggles between them. This past week my son has really started acting up. He is getting consequesnces for his actions. But it's to the point I don't know what to do any more. I know the DCG is sly and may be provoking my son but at the same time my son is the one acting up. I just don't know what do. I'm feeling like a failure here because everything I have tried just seems to escalate the power struggles more. I'm just feeling like DCG may not be a good fit anymore since my son seems to have so many problems lately. What should I do??
Blackcat31 01:08 PM 07-29-2015
Originally Posted by Peaches:
So I have a 4 yr old DCG that's been coming for a year. She is the same age as my son. They have played nicely on and off all year. But there always seems to be power struggles between them. This past week my son has really started acting up. He is getting consequesnces for his actions. But it's to the point I don't know what to do any more. I know the DCG is sly and may be provoking my son but at the same time my son is the one acting up. I just don't know what do. I'm feeling like a failure here because everything I have tried just seems to escalate the power struggles more. I'm just feeling like DCG may not be a good fit anymore since my son seems to have so many problems lately. What should I do??
Any time I have kids (whether siblings or not or my own or not) that begin to have struggles getting along, I separate. So I have a 4 yr old DCG that's been coming for a year. She is the same age as my son. They have played nicely on and off all year. But there always seems to be power struggles between them. This past week my son has really started acting up. He is getting consequesnces for his actions. But it's to the point I don't know what to do any more. I know the DCG is sly and may be provoking my son but at the same time my son is the one acting up. I just don't know what do. I'm feeling like a failure here because everything I have tried just seems to escalate the power struggles more. I'm just feeling like DCG may not be a good fit anymore since my son seems to have so many problems lately. What should I do??
It's important to allow kids time to play alone as well as with others even if they do or don't live there.
Perhaps you can start the day with them playing but ANY sign or clue that there is tension, separate them. A little bit of time away from each other might be the key.
Are there other kids the same age that either your DS or this DCG can play with? Do they both get along with the other kids or is one always the one having a conflict?
Behaviors are tough to not only manage but to understand but sadly they happen regardless so it's important to take the time to figure out the cause of them just as much as it is to find a cure.
284878 10:11 AM 07-31-2015
Need to put them both in time out.
If child a hits child b and b hits a back. Who gets time out? Both, they both in the wrong.
If a picks on b and b hits back. Who goes into time out? Both, they were both in the wrong.
Even though you did not see or hear it, they still no what they did. Love and logic says to put them in time out and do not discuss it.
If child a hits child b and b hits a back. Who gets time out? Both, they both in the wrong.
If a picks on b and b hits back. Who goes into time out? Both, they were both in the wrong.
Even though you did not see or hear it, they still no what they did. Love and logic says to put them in time out and do not discuss it.
Controlled Chaos 12:18 PM 07-31-2015
My DS (3.5) and DCB (4.5) are best friends. My issue is they escalate from playing nicely, to hugging, to wrestling, to super hero good guy/bad guy out of control fighting quickly. As soon as they start transitioning out of safe, appropriate play I assign one a table activity at one table, and the other an activity at my other table. After they have settled I give one the choice to pick a new activity and after a few min give the other the same chance. Rinse and Repeat. If I have to do this more than 3x in a day, they lose the privilege of each others company until after nap. I choose what areas they play in and when to rotate. I give them a clean slate after nap typically unless I am super grumpy 
grateday 12:51 PM 07-31-2015
That is exactly what I do here too. Usually the ones who are close in age and laymates between the developmental ages of 4-7 years old will get to a point where they seem to have had enough of eachother. They just can play so long that they get sort of played out of eachother. Conflict resolution, behavior guidance will not work at that point because they could be tired and need to regroup or have some alone time.
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Any time I have kids (whether siblings or not or my own or not) that begin to have struggles getting along, I separate.
It's important to allow kids time to play alone as well as with others even if they do or don't live there.
Perhaps you can start the day with them playing but ANY sign or clue that there is tension, separate them. A little bit of time away from each other might be the key.
Are there other kids the same age that either your DS or this DCG can play with? Do they both get along with the other kids or is one always the one having a conflict?
Behaviors are tough to not only manage but to understand but sadly they happen regardless so it's important to take the time to figure out the cause of them just as much as it is to find a cure.
Any time I have kids (whether siblings or not or my own or not) that begin to have struggles getting along, I separate.
It's important to allow kids time to play alone as well as with others even if they do or don't live there.
Perhaps you can start the day with them playing but ANY sign or clue that there is tension, separate them. A little bit of time away from each other might be the key.
Are there other kids the same age that either your DS or this DCG can play with? Do they both get along with the other kids or is one always the one having a conflict?
Behaviors are tough to not only manage but to understand but sadly they happen regardless so it's important to take the time to figure out the cause of them just as much as it is to find a cure.
grateday 12:52 PM 07-31-2015
Originally Posted by Controlled Chaos:
My DS (3.5) and DCB (4.5) are best friends. My issue is they escalate from playing nicely, to hugging, to wrestling, to super hero good guy/bad guy out of control fighting quickly. As soon as they start transitioning out of safe, appropriate play I assign one a table activity at one table, and the other an activity at my other table. After they have settled I give one the choice to pick a new activity and after a few min give the other the same chance. Rinse and Repeat. If I have to do this more than 3x in a day, they lose the privilege of each others company until after nap. I choose what areas they play in and when to rotate. I give them a clean slate after nap typically unless I am super grumpy
That is perfect for those age groupsMy DS (3.5) and DCB (4.5) are best friends. My issue is they escalate from playing nicely, to hugging, to wrestling, to super hero good guy/bad guy out of control fighting quickly. As soon as they start transitioning out of safe, appropriate play I assign one a table activity at one table, and the other an activity at my other table. After they have settled I give one the choice to pick a new activity and after a few min give the other the same chance. Rinse and Repeat. If I have to do this more than 3x in a day, they lose the privilege of each others company until after nap. I choose what areas they play in and when to rotate. I give them a clean slate after nap typically unless I am super grumpy