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Old 08-09-2010, 09:17 AM
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mncare mncare is offline
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Default Can Anyone Relate to This?

Or am I just awful?

I LOVE my kids, every one of them. Individually. But I do not necessarily like my job. I could go into lots of detail obviously but don't have time. I have a momentary lull while I am prepping lunch.

Am I the only one???
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Old 08-09-2010, 09:22 AM
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I just wanted to add that I am not looking for judgement. I am looking for some advice to help me enjoy this more. This is my first year and I am struggling to enjoy it. Thanks.
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Old 08-09-2010, 09:24 AM
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Originally Posted by mncare View Post
Or am I just awful?

I LOVE my kids, every one of them. Individually. But I do not necessarily like my job. I could go into lots of detail obviously but don't have time. I have a momentary lull while I am prepping lunch.

Am I the only one???
there are definately days, I think every single one of us- thinks this!! Some parents do not have any respect for daycare providers, some children do not have respect, etc.. as well- I have been doing this for over 6 yrs. now, and there are many, many days I feel this way- is it worth it, etc? I do have one more child at home yet, so it is really nice to be able to stay at home with her.
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Old 08-09-2010, 09:47 AM
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Lilbutterflie Lilbutterflie is offline
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Yes, I sometimes wonder why I chose to do this. Here are a few things that keep me going:
1. My kids get something I NEVER got with my parents: they get to stay home with me!
2. I love to see the "Aha!" moments with kids. When they learn to ride their tricycle for the first time, when they finally start to color in the lines, when they have learned to identify the letters in the alphabet. Even if it's not my own child, those moments are precious to me.
3. I have worked full time all of my life up until a year ago; and even though I have super rough days sometimes... it still beats what I was doing when I was working full time (the commute, the people, the boss, the fact that I was gone almost 11 hours a day).
We ALL feel discouraged with this job on a daily basis. But try to focus on the positive side of it! Hope this helps.
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Old 08-09-2010, 09:50 AM
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Default You're not alone...

I don't think that I've ever met a provider who didn't have those days (or even time frames) where she felt like she wanted to quit. There's a million different reasons why it happens and I know that for myself, once I can isolate why I feel the way that I feel, then I can tackle the issue. For instance, if I am feeling unnappreciated by the parents, then I remind myself that it matters more to me that the kids appreciate me, and that makes me feel better. If I get bored, I pitch my lesson plan and just do other stuff that isn't boring me to death. When I feel like I'm not being challenged, then I teach myself something new that is not daycare related. That seems to help. Just remember that you're not alone!
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Old 08-09-2010, 09:56 AM
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Do I ever feel that way?? Um....have you been to my blog??

It's "normal" to have momentary lulls.

What you need to identify is WHY you get these? Are you feeling undervalued? Underpaid? Overworked? What is it that makes you feel this way?

Go and reflect and come back with the answer. And THEN we can help you better to get out of your funk.
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Old 08-09-2010, 10:15 AM
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I do think that the first year can be difficult. It is a HUGE change to ones way of life...an intrusion of sorts.

For me anyway, in time, I learned to set boundaries and create scheduleds that worked for me and for my family. That went along way to making daycare life more enjoyable.

That said, yes, there are day when I think might need a serious life overhaul.
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Old 08-09-2010, 10:45 AM
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It's been less than a month since I had to shut down my home daycare (previous threads - basically, pregnancy-related medical issues) and I miss it already. Did I have days, weeks, or even months where I thought "who needs this?" Yep. We all do. Every job has it's pros and cons. This is no different. Sit and evaluate why you started in the first place, what it is you miss from your pre-daycare days, etc. If you miss the adult interactions and need more conversations that don't revolve around diapers, bottles, "feed me!", noisy toys, who hit who, glue, crayons, etc., then you need a break. Have a date night with your SO. Join a class (for when you are not open). Get a massage (MY personal fave!!!! ). Take a long weekend.

If you do not feel like you are being challenged enough, take a challenging on-line course. If the parents are giving you a hard time, maybe it's time to re-evaluate your contract, make modification, and conference with the parents. If the kids are giving you a hard time, re-evaluate your schedule, activities, and discipline policy. Maybe you need different techniques.

If you are in a rut (happens to all of us - no matter what profession), shake things up a bit. Maybe a "spirit week" where everyday has a different theme: PJ day; red, white, blue day; crazy hair day; etc. Turn on the radio and blast some tunes and let the kids jump and bop around like goofballs - join in, they won't care if you can dance, everyone will have a great time. Grab some markers and let the kids decorate the playroom walls (don't worry you can paint over it if needed). Check out some new recipes online. Have a day where you do the schedule in reverse. The list goes on and on.

Like, Judy said, evaluate what is CAUSING the funk and then we can hone in on what to advise you to do to get out of it.

Oh, great, now I want to do my hair crazy, turn on the radio and dance till I drop, start decorating with markers, and just PARTY! And what's a party without PIZZA! Great, now I'm hungry.
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Old 08-09-2010, 11:16 AM
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I have done this for about 9 years now and it is not something I love never have but at the same time I do enjoy those aha moments like lilbutterfly said and I love being home with my children. I also keep thinking if I didn't do this I would have to do something else which means I would have to put my own children in day care which I just don't want to do. I have moments when I do love what I do. Today I ran into a couple of children I used to watch but now their mom is a SAHM, they ran up to me and gave me a big hug. That made me feel so good. I think this job is just hard because we don't always feel appreciated and we need that. When I first started up someone told me if you treat it like you are babysitting you will get burned out really fast. It helps to look at it as providing a safe place for children to learn and grow when their parents have to work. I don't feel like I always make a difference, but when I do feel like the children are learning from me it makes the job more worthwhile. I also found taking classes, finding a network of other providers, and giving myself a day off once in a while have helped me. Just be patient with yourself as you learn because it is truly a learning experience. I hope this helps, good luck.
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  #10  
Old 08-09-2010, 11:34 AM
Golden Rule Golden Rule is offline
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I can relate. Especially this week when all the adults are in "Take, Take, Take mode".....

Everytime I start dreaming about applying for a job as a Wal-Mart greeter I make a list of the pros vs. cons. So far the pros keep winning.... Until the day they don't, I will keep getting up and making toddler finger foods and preparing art projects

Hang in there hun!!! You are not alone!!
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Old 08-09-2010, 11:44 AM
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The first year was the hardest for me - I ended up getting pretty depressed. But after awhile you just have to weigh the pro's and con's - do I complain about my job a lot ? yes. There isnt much I like about it - but i wouldnt trade being at home and being at home with my kids for anything.
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  #12  
Old 08-09-2010, 03:56 PM
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Does enjoying staying home with my cats everyday count too? LOL, they're my current children. I also like the idea of not having to deal with traffic, pay extra fuel to drive to work, having a work dress code, etc. During the COLD winters here in North Dakota, I certainly will not miss the -50 windchills and heating up the car for twenty minutes to get the thick coats of ice off!

Also remember how it's nice to multi-task. Maybe you can throw in a load of laundry during the day instead of late at night. You can run your dishwasher after daycare lunch/snack and it will be dry in time for the hubby to put away after work!

You also get to go outside, hopefully daily, and enjoy the day weather. Most jobs you work during the day and if you don't and you're up during the day to enjoy the weather you usually are then stuck working nights.

I can see the pro's and con's already even though I'm trying to stay away from the con's because they always seems to pop into our heads first! It's always easier to see the bad so challenge yourself to see the good.
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Old 08-09-2010, 04:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Abigail View Post
Does enjoying staying home with my cats everyday count too? LOL, they're my current children.
Of course cats count! Back before I had my DD (and before I was doing daycare), I had a cat that I had from the day he was born (his mom was my mom's cat and his mom let me handle him when he was 30 mins old!) When I started law school, he was 5 mths old and I was gone for 4 hours a day. When I started working outside the home again (after quitting law school), I would be gone for 9+ hours a day. He started ignoring me more and not being AS affectionate. I thought he was just getting older and more independent. Then during a week off work (vacation at home), he became my sweet, adoring, affectionate, cuddly baby again. That's when I realized I had a cat that wanted me to be an at-home mommy (owner)! Who ever heard of such a thing - especially from a cat?! So, yes, cats do count!
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Old 08-09-2010, 04:45 PM
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I recently just got through my first year and into my second. My first was far harder than it is now but I still have those days where I want to quit. One of the biggest things I forgot to do my first year was to take time off. I allowed myself to be overworked and came much closer to burnout than I have now. I'm feeling the strain again so I'm scheduling another week off soon. Remember the positives and don't let parents push you around.
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Old 08-09-2010, 05:39 PM
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I think I have found my rut too....Honestly most days this summer I want to throw in the towel. I started doing this so I can be with my kids and I'm finding adding other kids is causing a strain on them and instead of having fun, they are arging more and finding more sassy talk.

I had done childcare on and off for 10 years, but started back up 2 1/2 years ago and made the mistake of not taking any vacation...next week will be my first full week off in 2 1/2 years and I regret not doing it sooner. I'm am feeling the burn out bad right now.

Lately most of the day I daydream about what it would be like to just have my home to my kids only...to wake up and go do whatever I would like with my kids...not worry about being home for daycare boy to show up or not worry that we can't go swimming because the state says we can't....or not worry if daycare kids are going to wake up my kids so they can sleep in for once

I too am feeling like I don't want to do this anymore even though I have a heart for kids. If I didn't need the income for bills, I probably wouldn't so I can focus on my own kids and get more 1 on 1 with them that I severely miss....but bills need to be paid and when I remember what it was like to be out there full time and paying my own daycare, I try to find it in me to keep going.
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Old 08-09-2010, 06:47 PM
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Child care is a good gig the way I see it. It suits my personality. I decided to do this seven years before my son was born so I had a bit of experience under my belt before he was born.

I was a nanny for many years before I started the day care. I loved that but I outgrew it. I was a school nurse for three years and HATED it. Every RN job I hated after the newness wore off.

The pros for me: I LOVE being home. I love my house and my stuff. I never get cabin fever. I could stay home and be in my own little world 24/7 and not miss the "real world". I love having everything my way and being surrounded by the luxuries of cable, phone, internet, computers, etc. I love being my own boss. I love being a boss. I love being able to support my son and I from home. I loved being home with my kid before he went to school.

I love love love newborns. I can't think of anything more delicious than the scent and feel of new babies. They are snugalicious. I love raising kids from birth to five. I love having the HISTORY of a big part of their lives with me. I love that connection with families where they GET that I know their kid in a way no one else but them do. They love to talk story about their kid and I am right there with them.

I love knowing the kids. I love that I can take one glance at them and tell you what they will do next. I know what they are thinking before they ever thunk the thought. I know what every epression means... every sound that progresses to full language. I know to the day when they are ready to potty train. I know everything they like to eat and everything they don't.

I love love love feeding kids. I love to cook for them and I really love to watch them enjoy it. I love the look on their face when they see it's Nan's home made pork chops and baked apples. I love the way the say our blessing and the way they talk with ecah other when they eat next to each other.

I love how they love each other. I love how they respect each other. I love how they "want" for each other as they want for themselves.

All in all.. i love the way they turn out. I know in some ways... I have a bit to do with that.

I'm proud of myself for self teaching myself how to do this. What little education I am forced to take in child care classes (over 200 hours of class) has done next to nothing to help me in actually caring for kids and running a successful business. I took a realated education (nursing) and took what I knew to do as a nurse and applied it to both child care and business.

I did this. I made it happen. When things go wrong it's all on me. Believe me a lot has gone wrong. I try my darndest to fix it and NOT repeat the mistakes. Each new family is an opportunity to make myself better at what I do. I like that too.

There's a lot to like about this job. You have to own it and make it happen. Keep coming.... keep asking.. keep researching.... and get BETTER at what you do. If you can't make your happiness happen you have to really rethink it. Lifes too short to do a job that doesn't make you happy.
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Old 08-09-2010, 08:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Child care is a good gig the way I see it.
...

I love love love newborns. I can't think of anything more delicious than the scent and feel of new babies. They are snugalicious.
I think it's a great gig too and I already miss it and I just shut down a couple weeks ago. As for the newborns, you have to take your next vacation to come visit me in Nov or Dec. I'll have 2 newborns of my own that you can snuggle all you want! Then I might be able to get a nap or a shower!
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Old 09-02-2010, 11:49 AM
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I know I posted this awhile ago. I wanted to say thanks for your responses.

I think part of my problem is personal: mourning the loss of being a stay at home mom is a big one. Because even though I am "here" I am not really here for my child the way I was before. Her behavior and attitude have been absolutely dispicable and she HATES the daycare, it is a big factor in her personality changes. I am basically a single parent because of my husband's work schedule and that is extremely stressful. I don't get a break and it wears on me.

I also realized the I just don't like chaos. I always knew that I like things structured and routine but not to this extent. Having all the fluctuations just makes me plain cranky! (Even though I really try not to show it! ) I don't like kids breaking my things, jumping on my couch, throwing toys and constantly tattling.

That said, those are all things that I just need to learn to cope with on my part, and help the kids change on their part, for the next year and a half or so. I need to keep taking LOTS of trainings because they always leave me feeling energized and excited (until the next workday ) and they give me great ideas to add. The pluses are that I have truly great kids, when not doing the above behaviors, and I have great parents. They are fun kids and kind kids, they are smart and I really like teaching them. Summers are just really tough, I think. I know I am not the only one who thinks that.

One day at a time... I will be asking more questions I am sure!! Thanks again, everyone!
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