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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Not a Grand Idea?
Josiegirl 02:44 AM 08-06-2018
You know how we always say, don't take children of family, or friends, sometimes even neighbors? Now I'm wondering if we shouldn't have extended this line of acceptance. My sister is a dear friend and former co-worker of this very lovely couple who is starting to look for care. I spoke with the dad last night, agreed to email them copies of my policies and a 'getting to know me' letter. But as I've been thinking about things, what happens if it doesn't work out?? She's thinking about this couple from the standpoint of dear friends and of me from the standpoint of her dear sweet sister. She has no clue what this biz is like; how it's not babysitting and how I can't be flexible and please everyone.
I hadn't really planned on enrolling any more dcks this year because after talking with my current group and taking on a new infant in a month, I figured 5 dcks(2 of which will be in school FT and only here a couple hours a day and when school is closed)would work for awhile.
As it stands right now, I'll have the 4 and 5 yo when they're not in school, then a turning 2 yo(Sept. birthday), a 14 mo, a 3 1/2 mo(starting Sept.). IF I enroll this family, the little guy turns 2 the end of October and I told them I couldn't take him until his 2nd birthday.
I have to seriously think about this. I kept telling myself I wasn't going to take on any more children unless I found THE perfect fit. I figured it wasn't going to hurt anything to set up an interview so we're meeting in 2 weeks.
And IF I agree to this little guy, I have to figure out how to safely get 4 little ones to my backyard(invest in a quad stroller?), instead of stressing about 3, and where to put them all at nap time. How to get 4 little ones outside during the snowy cold months.
Egads. Just lots of thinking here but does anyone have ideas or input, as to making a decision or how to do all this? Thank you.
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DaveA 03:54 AM 08-06-2018
I would still do the interview. Make sure DCPs know how you run your program and that the process is as much about finding out if DCF is a good fit for your program as it is DCPs find out about yours. If you're still not sure after the interview you have your answer.

Good Luck
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Blackcat31 06:11 AM 08-06-2018
I agree with Dave. Alot of issues can be stopped long before they're problems with a clear understanding of what to expect and not expect.

I'd even use the situation to drive the point home for the family ....I usually say something like "I love that my family refers me to others but it also creates an awkward gray area when it comes to my policies and requirements. As much as I'd love to bend the rules, as a business owner I just can't do that. Keeping the emotional side and the business side separate gets tricky sometimes. I am sure you understand."

Then I smile real big and move along. Adding that "idea" (NOT doing special simply because they are referred to me) as I go along the interview.

I think setting the stage early and making your expectations clear from the very beginning can ward off any issues that are common in this type of thing.

Referrals from friends and family can be both a blessing and a curse.

I'd keep my options open though and definitely interview.....just to see.
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Unregistered 08:31 AM 08-06-2018
I encourage prospective families to interview with other providers, and to use their own judgement and instinct and not their friend's, relative's or neighbor's.

And as to enforcement of policies, I let them know that I enforce equally in order to be fair to everyone.
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daycarediva 10:16 AM 08-06-2018
I love referrals! Usually gives me a bit of background info on the kid, and then some parent reassurance from the referring party.

I go over my polices and expectations. I don't charge less, work later, do special for anyone, and I let them know that. This is a business and the rules are in place to prevent me from crossing the business/personal line.
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storybookending 11:07 AM 08-06-2018
I am unlike a lot of providers here in that I only work with families that I know personally or a referral from someone that I know very well. So I wouldn’t worry too much about that part of it. Just set clear boundaries and you should be fine.

Will you be having the 4 and 5 year olds before and after school as well or just on non school days? I wouldn’t be wasting a whole space on a child that is only there for a few hours or in a drop in basis if I had the opportunity to take a full time child.
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Annalee 11:10 AM 08-06-2018
I have had families/friends that worked out but some that didn't. Like the others in these posts, basically, you win some you lose some no matter what!
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MyAngels 11:29 AM 08-06-2018
I like working with referred families. I've found over the years that families that are referred don't want to look bad in front of whoever referred them so they're extra good at following all the rules.
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Josiegirl 03:08 PM 08-06-2018
Thanks all!
As for the 4 and 5 yo kids in school, they'll be here after school and days when school is closed. And I've already told them they'll have to pay the FT rate to keep their spots.

This couple's little boy sounds like a sweet normal almost 2 yo. He goes down easy for naps, is pretty good but gets into things just like my other almost 2 yo. She could really use a playmate when her sister goes back to school. She plays okay with my 14 mo but a little older would be ideal.

Two things stuck out of our quick conversation though; the dad said they're on the potty training wagon and he doesn't seem to be too interested. Plus he'd only be here 4 days a week and dad asked if they'd get any kind of a break there. I opened my mouth before my brain kicked in and said I can be a little flexible. It might be worth it though to have a little quieter Friday every week.

I'll have to talk with my sister more.

Thank you for all your insight. I love getting everyone's opinions; it helps me think about things that I may not have thought about.
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storybookending 08:24 PM 08-06-2018
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Thanks all!
As for the 4 and 5 yo kids in school, they'll be here after school and days when school is closed. And I've already told them they'll have to pay the FT rate to keep their spots.

This couple's little boy sounds like a sweet normal almost 2 yo. He goes down easy for naps, is pretty good but gets into things just like my other almost 2 yo. She could really use a playmate when her sister goes back to school. She plays okay with my 14 mo but a little older would be ideal.

Two things stuck out of our quick conversation though; the dad said they're on the potty training wagon and he doesn't seem to be too interested. Plus he'd only be here 4 days a week and dad asked if they'd get any kind of a break there. I opened my mouth before my brain kicked in and said I can be a little flexible. It might be worth it though to have a little quieter Friday every week.

I'll have to talk with my sister more.

Thank you for all your insight. I love getting everyone's opinions; it helps me think about things that I may not have thought about.
Nothing is set in stone with being flexible so don’t feel stuck. Instead you could say “I went over my finances and I am not able to be flexible on payment at this time and will need to charge for a full week” I would not be giving them any kind of break, especially if you are still charging your after school kids at the FT rate. Good for you for doing that as well!
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rosieteddy 09:21 AM 08-07-2018
I was just like you Josie .There is always one more we think we should take.If you really want him I would offer 4 days for 15.00 less no exceptions.If they want to add day later I would charge full daily rate to what they paid for 4 days.If you do not discount but give them the option you know he will be there every Friday.Think hard about this now when weather is nice everything seems possible.Then winter sets in and you have a 2 1/2 yr old still not potty trained.Sorry to be a downer(lol).
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Tags:interview, referral
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