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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Is It Wrong To Separate Your Own Kids From The DCK'S?
mrsp'slilpeeps 02:15 PM 08-05-2011
The same DCK'S that I have been having a problem with for the last 3 months are treating my own kids, especally my son, like crap and they dont want to play with them anymore.

So I told them that they can go play in their own rooms or go to the park right behind my house, go watch a show upstairs,or their friends will invite them to their house down the street.

Yesterday they got invited to a house, 2 houses down to play. So I said yes you can go.

DCM shows up to pick up the kids and low and behold my kids and the neighbours kids were out front riding their bikes.

DCM did not look very happy seeing as how her kids were still in the house with me.

She said that her kids should be outside too.
Was I wrong or do I let these kids torture mine until closing?
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permanentvacation 02:24 PM 08-05-2011
Your children are not daycare kids. They are not required to entertain your daycare kids. You are at work. You happen to work where you can also monitor your own children and allow them to visit their friends, invite their friends over, etc. instead of them being stuck at daycare or being latch key kids. So your children do benefit from your working at home, but, no, they do not have to be the entertainment for your clients.
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cheerfuldom 02:30 PM 08-05-2011
I could see how she would be confused about why all the kids but her kids were outside doing something fun. It would appear that they are all getting something special that her kids aren't. If you are having behavioral issues with her kids, I would calmly explain what you are seeing and the results (that her kids are to stay with you under close supervision until the behavior is addressed). If she is not someone that will work with you on these issues, then don't explain anything and just deal with the drama or term. Some parents will never understand that you, your home, and your kids are not at the beck and call of her kids.
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nannyde 02:35 PM 08-05-2011
I would just tell her that you WISH you could do with hers as you do with yours. It would be SO much easier if they could go somewhere else... over to the park... to friends... outside playing... etc. WITHOUT adult supervision.

Tell her that you can allow your kids to be unsupervised for hours upon end and it is completely within the law. If you did that with hers you could loose everything you have worked your whole life for.

You HAVE to supervise her kids and that means they have to physically be with you at all times. You don't have to supervise your own. Barring outright neglect or abuse... if your kid gets hurt while out being a kid it's just an accident. Her kids get hurt it's neglect and lack of supervision.

Tell her to PLEASE call the province or state and get that changed. If she can supply to you in writing that your goverment allows you to NOT supervise her kids and she releases you from any liability during their unsupervised time you will GLADLY start sending them outside every day and away from your house.

I would LOVE it if I could give the day care kids the freedom I allowed my son as soon as he could walk. It would change my life... change my job... and it would be AWESOME.
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permanentvacation 02:39 PM 08-05-2011
I also do not believe that your children should have to eat the same things or at the same times or at the table with your daycare kids. I do believe it is rude to let your children eat in front of the daycare kids, but if you have an area that your children can eat without the daycare kids being able to see them, your children should be able to go in the freezer, grab an ice cream bar, and either stay in the kitchen, go outside (without flashing it to the daycare kids), or go wherever they can to eat their ice cream during the daycare hours as long as your daycare kids aren't aware that your personal children have ice cream (or whatever your personal children are eating). When my children were younger I had a few parents question me on where my personal children are and why aren't they here to play with their kids (my daycare kids). I always told them that my children are not daycare kids and are not guarenteed to be here to play with the daycare children. I let them know that my children have their own friends in the neighborhood. They might be spending the night with a friend, on an outing with their friends, or just running around the neighborhood with their friends. Then I make sure to let the parent know that the other daycare kids were here for their children to play with and they have only been here for a short time by themselves after the other children were picked up for the day. Then the parents looked at me a bit confused, but it wasn't brought up afterward by the parents. The children would often ask me where my personal children were and I would simply tell them that they are over their friends house, or playing in their room with their friends, or whever they were. If they asked to go join my personal children, I would tell them no, they have to stay in the daycare room or the daycare playground whichever we were in at the time.

After a couple of weeks of my children not spending much time with the daycare kids, they all got used to it.
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MarinaVanessa 02:48 PM 08-05-2011
Nope, not wrong at all. During school breaks my DD gets tired of playing with the DC kids and I'll often send her out to play with her friends (they play out front). Sometimes I take the DC kids out there too and sometimes I don't and I have never as of yet had a DC parent hassle me about it.
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Crazy8 02:50 PM 08-05-2011
I've agreed with permanentvacation on this issue before and do so again so I won't even bother quoting her.

My children are not daycare children and are free to go outside with their friends any time, they can go play in their rooms, go watch tv, etc. as they please. There are plenty of disadvantages for my own kids by me running a daycare - so I will let them have any of the perks to me being home too.
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Blackcat31 03:04 PM 08-05-2011
YOUR children were invited to the neighbors to play.
The daycare kids were not.
That shouldn't be hard for the dcm to understand.
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nannyde 03:16 PM 08-05-2011
https://www.daycare.com/nannyde/what...r-own-kids.htm
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mrsp'slilpeeps 03:18 PM 08-05-2011
Well I figured that since my daughter is 9 and my son is 5, and the park is literally behind my house, she has proved to be trustworthy enough to take
her brother to the park. I can see them perfectly!

She cant stand this DCK, and told me I should kick him out TODAY!!!
I told her it's not possible right now.

And my son has run out of ways to deal with another boy raising his fist to him.

I can complain to this mom till my face falls off, but I know that she allows this behavior at home.

3 more weeks and my kids dont have to deal with it anymore.
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Christian Mother 03:39 PM 08-05-2011
I am kind of divided on this subject bc the daycare kids are treated like my own kids. I tend to me stricked not only with my own kids but also with the daycare kids. It is kind of a age and respect thing here. I try to make sure that everything that my kids can do the daycare kids can do. My son being the exception bc he is older. And school age. He is allowed friends over and more snacks. Also diff. eating times. But he also fixes his lunches for him self and snacks. The kids haven't complained yet about wanting what he has. The other day my little daycare boy wanted another snack after he just had 2 diff. ones back to back. I wouldn't allow him bc he'd full him self up before dinner and that might upset his mom. When mom came to pick up he ashually helped him self to my daughters snack. I to pulled his hand away out of the bag and told him he had already had a snack that my dd hadn't and that is why she is getting one now. Mom understood that and didn't indicate that she was upset. I think we just need to put forth that we know what we are talking about and believe in our selves and our rules.
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sharlan 05:12 PM 08-05-2011
You were hired to care for her kids. Your kids are NOT part of the package.

Mine were always allowed to go to the park or friends' houses without the other kids. IF my kids invited others into their rooms, that was fine, but the other kids had to be invited.
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WImom 07:29 PM 08-05-2011
There isn't a day this summer that both my kids were home the whole day (ages 6.5y and 8y). They had summer classes they took (we were lucky neighbors kids also were in them and could take them) as well as playdates and our elem. school has a field house and they would go up there some days.

I actually prefer my kids not to be here. Makes my day much better since they can get the dc kids wild quick for some reason.

As for meals - if my kids want to eat with the DC kids they have to have what they are having but if they want to eat in the kitchen then I will sometimes make them something else. Depends on my mood and time.


Could the mom have meant that she wanted her kids outside playing because it's nice out and not just because your daughter was out. Maybe in general she wished they were outside?
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mrsp'slilpeeps 10:35 AM 08-06-2011
Originally Posted by WImom:
There isn't a day this summer that both my kids were home the whole day (ages 6.5y and 8y). They had summer classes they took (we were lucky neighbors kids also were in them and could take them) as well as playdates and our elem. school has a field house and they would go up there some days.

I actually prefer my kids not to be here. Makes my day much better since they can get the dc kids wild quick for some reason.

As for meals - if my kids want to eat with the DC kids they have to have what they are having but if they want to eat in the kitchen then I will sometimes make them something else. Depends on my mood and time.


Could the mom have meant that she wanted her kids outside playing because it's nice out and not just because your daughter was out. Maybe in general she wished they were outside?

Yes her kids were outside, but in the backyard. the 2yr old is a runner and i live on a corner lot on a fairly busy street.
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Tags:provider - burnout risk, provider - own child, separate areas
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